100x Rebate Sharing System: Retired Incubus Wants to Marry & Have Kids

Chapter 249: Chapter 249 - Viktor got his ass spanked

WHAM.

The wooden fist slammed into his gut.

Air exploded from Viktor’s lungs. He doubled over, wheezing, pain radiating through his abdomen. The knight followed up immediately, kicking him square in the chest.

Viktor flew backward, crashing into one of the wooden dolls. Both went down in a tangle of limbs.

”YOUNG LORD!” Elara screamed.

Viktor coughed, rolling to his side. Blood dripped from his lip where he’d bitten his tongue. His chest ached, ribs protesting.

He looked up.

The wooden knight stood over him, sword raised for a finishing blow.

And Viktor started laughing.

It wasn’t a polite chuckle or a nervous giggle. It was a full, genuine laugh—the kind that came from realizing something hilariously absurd.

”You absolute ’bastard’ System!” Viktor wheezed between laughs, blood staining his teeth red. ”You set the target to ’KILL ME’?!”

[Affirmative. Standard training protocol requires realistic threat assessment.]

”REALISTIC?!” Viktor rolled to the side just as the wooden sword crashed into the stone where his head had been. ”THIS THING IS TRYING TO ACTUALLY MURDER ME!”

[Correct. Failure state results in Host termination.]

Viktor scrambled to his feet, practice sword still clutched in one hand. The wooden knight turned to face him, joints creaking ominously.

”Okay,” Viktor muttered, wiping blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. ”Okay, you want to play like that? Fine.”

His dark eyes flashed purple for just a moment—incubus traits bleeding through.

”Elara,” he said, voice dropping into something colder, more focused. ”If I die, tell my wives I loved them. Except Kaida. Tell her she’s still a brat.”

”WH-WHAT?!” Elara’s voice cracked.

Viktor didn’t respond. He gripped the practice sword with both hands, settling into a proper stance—feet shoulder-width apart, weight balanced, blade angled.

The wooden knight mirrored him.

For a heartbeat, neither moved.

Then they both exploded forward.

Wood clashed against wood, the sound echoing through the empty black space like thunder.

And far behind them, barely visible in the darkness, Rusty watched from the entrance.

’Kyu...’ the little purple slime murmured, goggles glinting.

Wood clashed against wood, the sound echoing through the empty black space like thunder.

Viktor pushed forward, muscles coiling as he drove his practice blade toward the knight’s center mass. His Tactical Genius ability mapped the optimal strike path—angle the thrust fifteen degrees left, aim for the gap between chest and shoulder plates.

The wooden knight didn’t block.

It simply wasn’t there anymore.

’What—?’

Viktor’s blade cut through empty air. His momentum carried him forward, off-balance for a split second.

Behind him, wood creaked.

His body moved before his mind processed it. Ultra Instinct—the ability he’d gained from Bella—screamed danger. Viktor’s spine bent backward impossibly, his torso arching as the wooden knight’s sword whistled past where his neck had been.

’Too close!’

Viktor’s bare feet scraped stone as he rolled forward, coming up in a crouch. He spun, sword raised defensively.

The wooden knight stood five paces away, sword held in a mid-guard position.

Waiting.

Viktor’s eyes narrowed. ’It dodged. I didn’t see it dodge—it just... moved.’

Then understanding hit him like a fist to the gut.

’Shadow Walk.’

The knight had slipped through the shadows on the floor—the same ability Viktor possessed but had barely tested. A ten-foot teleport that made you untouchable mid-transit.

”Fuck,” Viktor muttered, adjusting his grip.

The wooden knight attacked again.

No warning. No wind-up. One moment it stood motionless; the next, it closed the distance in a blur.

’Speed Acceleration.’

Viktor’s Ultra Instinct fired. His body twisted left, the knight’s blade carving past his ribs by millimeters. Viktor countered immediately—a rising slash aimed at the knight’s wrist joint.

The knight’s sword blurred.

CRACK!

The parry sent vibrations shooting up Viktor’s arms. Before he could recover, the wooden knight’s free hand shot forward—palm strike aimed at his solar plexus.

Viktor’s instincts screamed. He jumped backward, bare feet leaving the ground.

Not fast enough.

The wooden palm grazed his chest—just barely. But the impact still drove the air from his lungs, sending him stumbling.

’It’s faster than me,’ Viktor realized, chest heaving. ’Speed Acceleration burns stamina, but this thing doesn’t HAVE stamina limits.’

The wooden knight didn’t press the advantage. It stood there, sword angled downward at forty-five degrees, perfectly balanced.

Watching.

Calculating.

Viktor’s jaw clenched. ’Alright. If we both have Ultra Instinct, neither of us can land a clean hit. So it’s baiting me. Waiting for me to commit to an attack so it can counter.’

He took a breath. Steadied his stance.

’Fine. Let’s see how smart you really are.’

Viktor feinted left. His foot shifted, shoulders rotating as if preparing a horizontal slash.

The wooden knight didn’t move.

Viktor committed. His blade snapped right instead—a textbook misdirection from Kaida’s Blade Dance.

The knight blocked it effortlessly.

CRACK!

Wood met wood. But this time, Viktor was ready. He used the rebound force, spinning his body into a full rotation, bringing his sword around in a second strike from the opposite angle.

The knight parried again.

And punched.

Viktor’s eyes widened. ’Shit—’

WHAM!

The wooden fist connected with his jaw.

Pain exploded through Viktor’s skull. His vision whited out for a heartbeat as he staggered sideways, feet scrambling for purchase.

Blood filled his mouth. He spat, crimson droplets hitting the black stone.

’How?! My Ultra Instinct should’ve—’

Then he saw it.

The wooden knight’s sword arm was mid-block, still engaged with Viktor’s blade. But its free hand had moved independently—striking while Viktor’s attention was locked on the weapon exchange.

’It split my focus,’ Viktor thought, wiping blood from his split lip. ’Sword high, fist low. My instinct tracked the blade because that’s the lethal threat, so the punch slipped through.’

His tactical mind raced. ’It’s not just using the abilities. It’s combining them. Layering threats to create openings.’

The wooden knight advanced.

Viktor raised his sword defensively, circling right to maintain distance. His bare feet moved carefully across the stone, testing each step.

’I need to think. Find a pattern. There has to be—’

The knight vanished.

Not teleported. Not shadow-walked.

’Vanished.’

Viktor’s goosebumps exploded across his arms—Survival Foresight screaming danger from ’everywhere’.

He dropped flat.

The wooden sword passed through the space where his head had been, carving a whistling arc through empty air.

Viktor rolled, came up on one knee, eyes scanning frantically.

The wooden knight stood behind him, emerging from a shadow cast by one of the motionless wooden dolls.

’Shadow Walk again. But combined with—what? Heightened senses to track my position? Rapid Thought to calculate the optimal emergence point?’

Viktor’s breathing quickened. ’This thing isn’t fighting like a human. It’s processing combinations faster than I can react.’

The wooden knight attacked.

A straight thrust.

Viktor’s Ultra Instinct fired. He sidestepped left—

—and felt his own body seize.

His foot planted wrong. His ankle twisted slightly, throwing off his center of gravity.

’What the fuck—?!’

The wooden knight’s blade adjusted mid-thrust. Not much. Just three degrees to the right.

The tip slammed into Viktor’s shoulder.

”GAHH!”

Pain lanced through muscle and bone. The wooden blade—blunted but still solid oak—hit with enough force to crack something. Viktor’s sword arm went numb instantly.

He staggered backward, clutching his shoulder. Blood seeped between his fingers where the impact had split skin.

’How did it predict my dodge?!’