I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

An Lin was met with awkward silence after sending out his message. No one replied to him.

Perhaps the cultivators in the group chat were all busy. The group was unusually silent.

An Lin pondered for a moment and was just about to tag the owner of the group. However, a member of the group suddenly replied.

Domineering Sabre Lord: “Heh, I don’t recognize you, kid. Are you a new member?”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Big Bro! Please look after this newbie! (pitiful emoticon)”

An Lin thought for a moment before deciding to act pitiable.

Daoist Booming Thunder: “New members are so insincere now. It’s taken you so long to message the group. Hurry up and send us voice messages and selfies. Make sure to wear female clothes in the selfies! Hehehe…”

An Lin grimaced. Why is this group becoming weirder and weirder?

Domineering Saber Lord: “Booming Thunder, stop being a dumb c*nt. You’re scaring the newbie. Little An, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. If you need any help, just shoot me a message.”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Thank you, Senior Domineering Saber!”

Domineering Saber Lord was extremely satisfied with acquiring another underling. As an experienced senior, acquiring more underlings naturally increased his sense of accomplishment.

At this moment, a truly influential member of the group chat suddenly appeared.

The Savior: “!!!”

Domineering Saber Lord was delighted upon seeing The Savior join the chat. “Wow! Leader Savior, you finally have free time to chat?”

The Savior sent a gif to express his disbelief. “Holy f*ck! Am I seeing things? Who is this that I see? Poison Lord is online?!”

Daoist Booming Thunder was dumbfounded. “Poison Lord? Am I blind? Why can’t I see Poison Lord?”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Just call me Sword Immortal An Lin!”

The Savior was extremely excited by An Lin’s reappearance. “Sword Immortal An Lin, you’ve finally returned! It’s been ages!”

Tian Lingling also joined the chat. Due to her brilliant natural talents, this girl had a bright future ahead of her. She had already worked her way up to a managerial position.

Tian Lingling immediately tagged all the members of the group chat. “Come on, let’s all welcome the return of Fake Daoist Priest!”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “There’s no need to give me such a grand welcome~”

Daoist Wooden Ox: “Holy f*ck!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Welcome back, o’ mighty Sword Immortal An Lin!”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Welcome back, o’ mighty Sword Immortal An Lin!”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “Welcome back, o’ mighty Sword Immortal An Lin!”

Green River Sword Immortal: “Welcome back, o’ mighty Sword Immortal An Lin!”

…

One after another, the most powerful members of the group chat all sent messages of welcome. This magnificent sight scared Domineering Saber Lord and Daoist Booming Thunder silly.

Moreover, the person that they were welcoming was… Fake Daoist Priest Little An?!

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Thanks for your messages of welcome! (grinning emoticon)”

Domineering Saber Lord and Daoist Booming Thunder both drew in a sharp breath.

So, they really were welcoming Fake Daoist Priest Little An! Holy sh*t! Terror gripped at Domineering Saber Lord and Daoist Booming Thunder’s hearts. They had actually flexed in front of a supreme being?!

They had even treated him as a newbie! And asked him to send cross-dressing selfies!

They were done for!

Domineering Saber Lord immediately sent a voice message. “Sniff… I prostrate in worship to Mighty Sword Immortal An Lin! I beg you, o’ mighty one, please forgive my disrespect…”

Domineering Saber Lord acted as a newbie as he apologized profusely. It could be said that his will to live was very strong.

When the other cultivators scrolled up and saw An Lin’s initial messages, they also didn’t know whether to cry or laugh.

They couldn’t help but look forward to Daoist Booming Thunder’s reply. To their surprise, however, Daoist Booming Thunder remained completely silent. He didn’t send any message at all. This was quite an intriguing development…

Daoist Booming Thunder was this bad*ss? He even refused to go along with Saber Lord’s apology?

Meanwhile, some other cultivators reckoned that he was still paralyzed with fear.

Right at this moment, a message popped up.

A picture appeared before the cultivators’ eyes.

A muscular brute dressed in a blue maid uniform entered their sights. His head was slightly lowered, and there was a shy and apologetic look in his eyes.

Daoist Booming Thunder: “Sword Immortal An Lin, I present to you my cross-dressing picture. I beg you to please forgive me!”

An Lin: “…”

Members of the chat: “…”

The group suddenly fell silent. Immediately afterward, it descended into chaos!

Tian Lingling: “Wow! That’s so epic!”

Domineering Saber Lord: “Terrifying! Booming Thunder is still so lacking in integrity!”

Daoist Wooden Ox: “Barf!”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Barf!”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “Barf!”

The Savior: “Barf!”

Golden Jade: “His will to live is other-worldly!”

Enlightened Lazurite: “What have I done wrong? Why have I been made to look at this? My eyes burn…”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Booming Thunder, I had initially planned to let you off the hook. Now, however… I’ve changed my mind…”

Daoist Booming Thunder immediately tried to remedy the situation. “Please don’t! Senior An Lin, if you don’t like it, I’ll immediately recall the message!”

Right after sending this, Daoist Booming Thunder recalled a message.

The other cultivators in the group were still engaged in a heated conversation. Some of them even remarked that An Lin’s cross-dressing picture was far more pleasing to the eye than Daoist Booming Thunder’s cross-dressing picture.

Upon seeing this, An Lin immediately changed the topic. “Seniors, sorry to interrupt. I’m actually here to ask you guys about something.”

One had to admit, his words carried a lot of weight in the group.

When the cultivators saw An Lin’s message, they all signified for him to continue.

The terrible conversation taking place finally came to a halt. An Lin breathed a sigh of relief and started asking his question.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Seniors, might I ask, what do you guys think about Earth’s rising temperature and increasing vital energy?”

Golden Jade: “Daoist An, these phenomena have been mysteries to us as well.”

The Savior: “I don’t know what the causes of these phenomena are. However, I do know that unusual fluctuations have been detected at some spatial nodes in Luoyang.”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Now that you mention it, I’ve also detected violent fluctuations of vital energy at Yingzhou Island’s Futian.”

Red Fox Celestial Maiden: “There have also been unusual fluctuations in our sect’s Qing Qiu Mystic Realm.”

…

Messages popped up one after another. Numerous cultivators disclosed the locations of where they had detected unusual fluctuations of vital energy.

An Lin took out a gigantic world map.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “If you guys don’t mind, can you please send me the locations of where you’ve detected unusual fluctuations?”

Just like that, he received a list of numerous locations where unusual fluctuations had been detected.

Next to him, Tian Lingling used a red pen and cooperatively marked these locations out on the world map.

Right at this moment, a breathtakingly handsome male descended from the clouds and gracefully landed next to An Lin.

Even though she wasn’t obsessed with appearances, Tian Lingling was still momentarily dazed by the male’s appearance.

So handsome! I haven’t seen him for two years, and he’s become even more handsome! I want to throw myself at him!

Tian Lingling forcefully suppressed her urge. She glanced at An Lin and was eventually able to focus on his appearance as she forced herself to calm down.

“Big Brother Cheng, you’ve finally returned!” An Lin was delighted upon seeing who it was that had come.

Xuanyuan Cheng smiled warmly. “I merely set up a dozen or so spatial fluctuation detectors. This doesn’t require much time. What are you up to right now?”

An Lin pointed to the red dots on the world map. “I’m marking out the spatial nodes where unusual fluctuations have been detected.”

Xuanyuan Cheng looked toward the world map. In the beginning, he was still quite calm.

After studying the map for a while, a surprised look appeared in his eyes. “There’s something fishy about these spatial nodes!”