I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

A light blush appeared on Xu Xiaolan’s face and she cussed lightly, “Sister Lan Yan, what are you saying? Do you need to be taught a lesson?”

“I can’t believe Sister Xiaolan would stand up against me for a man… Sigh, it looks like people do change…” Lan Yan shook her head with a disconsolate expression.

An Lin descended from the sky on dogback and retrieved a steamer full of stuffed buns before tossing it to Lan Yan.

The steamer flew through the air, and Lan Yan instinctively caught it before aiming a puzzled glance at An Lin. “What’s this for?”

“Didn’t you say I didn’t bring a betrothal gift? This is my betrothal gift,” An Lin replied.

Lan Yan stared at him blankly for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. “Hahaha… Stuffed buns as a betrothal gift? You’re just as funny as before, An Lin, hahaha…”

Lan Yan was always ready to laugh at the smallest things, and she immediately doubled over with laughter after seeing An Lin betrothal gift.

“Could you at least eat one before you laugh?” An Lin said with an exasperated expression.

“Alright, alright, let’s see what’s so special about these stuffed buns.” Lan Yan suppressed her laughter and took the lid off the steamer before picking up a stuffed bun.

Lan Yan bit into the bun, and her face stiffened. She took a few more bites with her eyes wide open in shock.

“My god… Am I eating stuffed buns?” she muttered to herself in incredulity.

“That’s right, the ingredients are all from the Heavenly Court including the flour, beef, pork, and spirit vegetables.” An Lin nodded in confirmation.

“You… You made these?” Lan Yan had just finished eating one stuffed bun before picking up another and stuffing it into her mouth. Her words were already starting to get muffled from the excessive food in her mouth as her cheeks bulged outward.

An Lin replied with a smile, “Of course! These stuffed buns are super popular in the Heavenly Court, and I’m planning to name them ‘stuffed buns ignored by Da Bai’!” [1. There are these extremely popular stuffed buns in Tianjin, China called goubuli stuffed buns, where goubuli literally translates to ignored by dogs. The saying goes, if you walk by the buns and ignore them (in other words, don’t buy them), you’re a dog and only dogs wouldn’t buy the stuffed buns. Da Bai is a dog, hence the gag, buns ignored by Da Bai.]

Lan Yan looked at Da Bai after hearing the proposed name, and she burst into laughter once again. “Hahaha… oh…”

Her raucous laughter suddenly cut off as her face started to turn purple, and her eyes widened in shock.

Xu Xiaolan rolled her eyes and made her way toward Lan Yan before patting her on the back. “Didn’t I tell you not to laugh when you’re eating because you’ll choke on your food? See what happens when you don’t listen to me?”

An Lin: “…”

After coughing to dislodge the food stuck in her throat, Lan Yan immediately continued chortling. “Hahaha… But this name is too funny! Stuffed buns ignored by Da Bai? Is this Da Bai a stupid c*nt? How could he ignore such delicious stuffed buns, hahaha…”

“Pffft…” Lan Yan’s laughter seemed to be contagious, and An Lin and Xu Xiaolan both began to laugh with her.

Da Bai glowered at her with his big eyes. “Big Brother An, she’s badmouthing dogs! Woof!”

An Lin stroked Da Bai’s head and presented a steamer full of buns to him to subside his rage.

Little Bai and Xu Xiaolan walked into the sect, chatting and laughing together as they went, while An Lin followed behind them on dogback.

Their party attracted a lot of attention from the surrounding disciple.

Most of them were looking at the two beauties leading the way, but there were also some who found An Lin to be a little familiar. The big dog upon which he rode was even more familiar, and when they saw the adorably ugly monkey, they finally came to a realization.

F*ck! This is that bastard An Lin that took our Goddess Xu Xiaolan from us!

An Lin basked in the gazes directed upon him by the male disciples, all of which were filled with enmity. An Lin was itching for one of them to jump out and challenge him.

After all, he hadn’t had a chance to flex ever since he progressed to Soul Formation Stage. He would be ecstatic if some idiot disciple decided to come up and act as cannon fodder for him.

However, his wish was not granted, and all the male disciples only glared at him from afar without initiating any physical altercations.

Thus, An Lin followed along behind Xu Xiaolan as they continued into the inner district of the sect.

An extremely cozy heat suddenly swept toward him, making him feel extremely comfortable.

The sides of the path were lined with fiery red maples leaves, giving the impression of a flaming cloud on the ground. A light breeze blew past, sweeping up a few of the maple leaves into the air; the maple leaves danced like flaming fairies as they were blown into the air.

At the end of this path, which was lined with maple leaves, there was a white building that was around a hundred feet tall. This was a grandiose building with an antiquated feel to it, and a faint aura of power emanated from it, giving people a sense of awe and reverence when they cast their eyes upon the building.

“Sister, I’ll be waiting for you at the Dao altar.” Lan Yan waved her hand in farewell.

An Lin knew there was a Dao altar within the Vermilion Bird Sect upon which was situated the Enlightenment Fire God Rock. If Xu Xiaolan wanted to awaken her domain, the Enlightenment Fire God Rock would be of great help to her.

“Elder Zu Yuanzhou is going to take care of you from here. He’s got a pretty short temper, so remember to be polite to him,” Xu Xiaolan cautioned An Lin in a low voice.

“No problem, there’s nothing a steamer full of stuffed buns won’t take care of. If there is, then ten steamers will do the trick!” An Lin replied confidently.

Xu Xiaolan rolled her eyes. “If you really piss off Elder Zhu, not even a hundred steamers of stuffed buns is going to save you!”

The two of them soon entered the white building and came to the top floor, where they waited outside a door.

There were two sect disciples in red robes standing guard on either side of the door. They exuded a solemn presence and stared straight ahead with powerful auras emanating from their bodies. They didn’t stir in the slightest even as An Lin and the others drew closer.

Xu Xiaolan bowed respectfully outside the door. “Vermilion Bird Sect, Xu Xiaolan, wishes to see Elder Zhu.”

“Haha, so Xiaolan’s back. I’ve heard about your request, come on in.” A coarse, hearty laugh sounded from within the room.

The door opened by itself, and An Lin was greeted by the sight of a middle-aged man with crimson hair and beard who looked at him with a smile on his face.

“You must be Xu Xiaolan’s good friend, An Lin,” Elder Zhu said with a smile.

An Lin immediately bowed respectfully in response. “Junior An Lin pays his respects to Elder Zhu.”

Elder Zhu chuckled and stroked his long beard with a mysterious smile. “I heard that you would like to obtain the power of our sect’s holy flame? How about you become one of the core disciples of the Vermilion Bird Sect? That way, it would be easier for you to get closer to a certain someone as well, eh?”

An Lin faltered slightly at his words. He got the impression… that he might have bitten off a bit more than he could chew by coming here.

An Lin didn’t even have a chance to reply before Xu Xiaolan replied in his stead with an enraged expression, “Elder Zhu! You told me you’d arrange an in-name disciple position for him, don’t eat your words now!”

In the face of Xu Xiaolan’s anger, Elder Zhu didn’t get angry himself. Instead, he was seemingly a little smug as he said, “Would you look at that? An Lin hasn’t even said anything but you’re already siding with him!”

A deep blush immediately appeared on Xu Xiaolan’s face after hearing his words. She opened her mouth and was about to retort when she decided that she wasn’t going to win a war of words here. Instead, she brought out twenty steamers full of stuffed buns from her storage ring.

Clatter!

Twenty steamers of stuffed buns piled up in a small tower, all the way up to the ceiling.

Elder Zhu was extremely befuddled at the sight of the towering pile of steamers. “Xiaolan, what is the meaning of this?”

“These were brought here by An Lin as a gift. Ten of these are for you while the other ten is for the Sect Leader!” Xu Xiaolan snapped.

Elder Zhu chuckled in response. “An Lin sure has a unique way of doing things. This is the first time I’ve received stuffed buns as a gift, let me give them a try.”

He shook his head and laughed it off as a joke.

Elder Zhu took a bit of a stuffed bun and was just about to offer a half-hearted compliment when his whole body suddenly trembled before he began chewing like mad…

He glanced at An Lin with shock on his face before turning to look at Xu Xiaolan, who continued to wear a calm and collected expression, all the while cramming stuffed buns into his mouth!

A minute later, the entire steamer of stuffed buns had been completely devoured.

“My good niece, seeing as my big brother isn’t present at the sect at the moment, I’ll accept all these stuffed buns in his stead. After all, they might go bad if you store them for too long.” Elder Zhu chuckled as his eyes glowed brightly, and he instantly stowed the remaining nineteen steamers into his storage ring.

Xu Xiaolan glared at Elder Zhu and humphed lightly. “This is the first time I’ve heard that food could go bad after being stored into a storage ring…”

“Er…” Elder Zhu blushed before he waved his arm with an easygoing smile. “I’ll take good care of An Lin, there’s no need to give these stuffed buns to the Sect Leader!”

An Lin’s mind was racing from the information overload.

Niece? Big brother?

No wonder Xu Xiaolan could converse so casually with Elder Zhu; they were f*cking relatives! Even the Sect Leader was Xu Xiaolan’s uncle!

An Lin raised his head to the sky and heaved a forlorn sigh.

There really were backdoor entrants everywhere in this current society of overabundance; true, pure prodigies like him were becoming an extinct species.