Glory Of The Football Manager System

Gracias, Jesús. 4 in 13 months.

A 32-year-old in a training top behind 4 tables pushed together, with a Carabao Cup and an FA Cup and a Europa League and a Community Shield in front of him, 60 people out of focus behind him, and Ron’s coat in the left of the frame.

It did 4,000 in 6 minutes.

It went past the shield hitting me in the mouth at 18 minutes past 8 that night, and it is still out in front.

I do not read the internet. Marcus does, and he sends me 6 things a week, and on Tuesday he sent me 5.

The first was the lad with the spreadsheet, the one who does the Walsh Index after every window, and this time he had written 3 lines and no numbers.

a free transfer nobody wanted. 4 trophies. and they put the cups on the table where the kitchen ladies serve dinner because that is what he asked for. 19 years i have watched this club. never been prouder of it than i am at a photo of some tables

The second was 4 words from a man in Block 122 who lost a shoe at Wembley on Sunday.

we were clapping a substitution

The third was in Spanish and Marcus had run it through a translator and left both in.

Seville had been looking at that photograph for 2 hours. A lot of people there had not known about the 2 years either, and 1 of them said something about a mother that I am not putting down.

The fourth was the reason Marcus sent me any of them, and he flagged it.

MARCUS: this one is going to be everywhere by the morning

It was a video. A man of about 40 in a car in a Manchester City shirt, filmed on a phone, 90 seconds, and he meant every word of it and he was angry.

Everyone is very moved. Well done Crystal Palace. Here is what I would say. That man gave us 4 years and a title and 2 cups, and when he went we put a graphic out with a hand emoji on it, and I did not think about it once and neither did any of you.

A club with 130 million pounds in the bank put 4 cups on a table in front of a photographer 3 days after winning one, in a transfer window, on a Tuesday, and you have all decided it is beautiful.

I hope it is. I actually hope it is.

But do not let them tell you it was not also very convenient.

Marcus had put 1 line under it.

MARCUS: I have watched it 4 times. He is 70 per cent wrong and the other 30 is a problem.

The fifth thing was from the same man, put up at 22 minutes to midnight, on his own, off his own back.

right. i have found out he asked for a canteen. i have taken the other one down. we still got it wrong in 2017 and i am not going to pretend we did not.

I read it twice.

Then I rang Nathan and told him that if anybody at this football club replied to any of it, in any way, on any account, they were going to have a conversation with me about it in person.

We did not reply. We have not replied since.

Bzz.

17:41. +39.

Mister Walsh.

Bzz.

My wife has asked me 1 question about Croydon and I could not answer it.

Bzz.

Is there a Spanish school.

I sat in that office and looked at 3 messages on a telephone and I did not know the answer, and I rang Sarah, and Sarah had it in 11 minutes.

There are 2.

I was still in that office at 15 minutes past 9 at night with a pile of medical paperwork and a television on the wall.

I leave it on mute. On the 2 days a year the window is about to shut I put the sound up, and there are 4 people in England who know that about me and 3 of them work in that building.

Sky Sports News. David Jones on a Tuesday night in a shirt with the collar open, Jamie Carragher on his left, Gary Neville on his right.

They were doing who has won the window, and they got to us at about 20 past.

”Crystal Palace,” Jones said. ”Gary.”

”Best window in the league and it is not close.” Neville had his sleeves up. ”180 million pounds out, 58 in, a Community Shield in the cabinet and a 32-year-old going home to Seville with 4 trophies and a send off that half the country has cried at since teatime.

”1 hole in it.”

Tap. A team sheet slid across that screen.

”They have got nobody on the right. Navas has gone. Bowen is a forward who plays there and Zaha is left sided and playing 34 games instead of 50 because his manager said so in July.

”If they sign a winger before Thursday it is a 10 out of 10 and I will say so on this programme. If they do not, they have got an 18-year-old on that side at Wembley on Saturday.”

”Can they even register one?” Carragher said.

”They can. Navas comes off the 25 on Thursday morning and that is a slot.”

”And the kids?”

”The kids do not count. Anybody under 21 plays without a registration, and that club has got about 9 of them.” Neville put a hand out. ”That is not their problem. Their problem is that there are 43 hours left and every winger worth having has been sold, and Manchester United have spent the whole summer trying to buy 1 and have not managed it.”

Then the screen went yellow.

Not a strap along the bottom. The whole thing.

BING BONG.

David Jones put a hand to his ear and stopped talking for about 4 seconds.

4 seconds is a long time on live television. Both men either side of him turned round to look at him.

”We are getting this from South London.”

Carragher sat forward.

”Crystal Palace,” Jones said, off a tablet, ”have agreed a fee with Internazionale for Ivan Perišić.”

Clatter.

Gary Neville stood up.

He did not mean to and he did not do it for the camera. A 43-year-old man in a television studio put both hands on a desk and came up out of a chair.

”Say that again.”

”Crystal Palace have agreed a fee for Ivan Perišić.”

”Manchester United have been in for that man for 2 summers.” He was still stood up. ”They had 40 million on the table last year and got told 50. They were in advanced talks with his people 4 weeks ago. Jose has said his name out loud on television twice.

”What is the fee?”

”We are hearing 18 million pounds.”

Carragher put both hands flat on that desk and looked at the ceiling.

”18.”

”18, and a medical on Thursday morning, and we understand it is a 3 year deal.”

”Jamie.”

”I have got nothing, David. I have sat on this desk since 2013 and I have got nothing.”

I sat in an office in Beckenham with a bruised mouth and watched Gary Neville sit back down and put both hands over his face.

Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzz.

Marcus sent 8 messages in 14 seconds and I have kept all of them.

MARCUS: it has gone MARCUS: boss look at Twitter MARCUS: LOOK AT TWITTER

Manchester United had put a training ground photograph up 4 minutes before the news broke. I have thought about whoever pressed that button about 6 times since.

It had 18,000 replies underneath it by 10 o’clock and about 17,000 of them were an eagle.

The lad with the Walsh Index wrote 2 lines.

united spent 8 weeks arguing about an image rights clause. walsh rang him on a tuesday morning and talked to him about christian benteke for 20 minutes

A man who covers United for a broadsheet, who has never written a word about Crystal Palace in his life, put up 3 sentences at 9:41 and did not take them down.

Crystal Palace have just walked into a room Manchester United have been stood outside for 2 years and taken the man off the table for 18 million pounds. United were still arguing about the structure. This is not a transfer story, it is an executive competence story, and somebody at Old Trafford should be asked about it in the morning.

On that television, all 3 of them were talking at once and none of them were finishing anything.

”How has that stayed quiet for 2 days?”

”It has not stayed quiet, Jamie, nobody was looking.”

”Somebody was looking. He was.”

I pressed the red button and the wall went black.

Clk.

Then I rang Sarah, because there was a man in Milan whose telephone was about to stop ringing for the rest of the night, and somebody had to get to him before 400 other people did.

She had done it at 21 minutes past 9.