D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

Kress chapter

The Competitors: Kress, Borgick, Midnight, Stan, Ellenell

The Assistants: Blue, Marigold, Carl, Gareth, Burgandy

—-

“TIME” the word boomed across the field, and as Thyme spoke all the competitors, and the rest of their groups, were all teleported to a platform Thyme had set up in the sky. With magic, it was easy to keep the temperature normalised and stop the wind from blowing in, and Thyme did as much easily.

The people who had teleported in were separated into three, arguably four groups if you counted Thyme as a group in and of themselves. Kress was in a group with all the people that had just completed their sandcastles. To his surprise, they all still had their Timmy’s with them. Kress wasn’t really sure what to make of it. The Timmys all seemed to pick up some defining attire from everyone else.

The Timmy that worked with Kress and Blue now had boardshorts matching Kress’ own, and vibrant blue hair cascading down his back that matched Blue’s in tone. There was a bucket on Timmy’s head again, but it was one of their house buckets now, if slightly malformed to work better as a hat. Of course, Kress’ team wasn’t the only Timmy that looked different.

Stan and Gareth’s Timmy looked to be wearing… priest robes made out of sand? Kress didn’t know what to make of that. The Timmy with Burgandy and Ellenell didn’t have anything on at all. He just looked like a small dryad. Which of course, was a bit weird in and of itself. The fact that their Timmy’s skin was now sand coloured only added to the strange vibes Kress got when looking at that Timmy.

Carl and Midnight’s Timmy had a hat that looked like a smaller Timmy holding up a shovel victoriously… but on the smaller hat Timmy was another hat… that was an even smaller hat Timmy. It went on like that, perhaps infinitely, perhaps just a few more stages until Kress’ eyes weren’t good enough to follow it anymore. *I’m a little worried about that team now. What the heck did they manage to build that would give their Timmy a hat like that?*

*I guess the priest robes could be something of a worry as well, but I don’t expect Gareth and Stan would’ve made an all that impressive temple. I do want to know why it’s sand coloured though. As for Burgandy and Ellenell? I’m just… confused as to what I should feel about that one. Are they a risky team or not? Why doesn’t Timmy have anything on? Why is that Timmy sand coloured? At least Marigold and Borgick’s makes some sense. Not sure if it’ll be a contender, but it makes sense.*

Kress was of course talking about the fact Marigold and Borgick’s Timmy had a cannon as a hat. Kress shook his head and looked over the other two groups. One was of course the rest of their teams, and they were just wearing what they had earlier. No, the other group was more interesting… if you ignored the fact Thyme was dressed as a giant sandcastle with sand tower pauldrons, tower castle hat and what looked like a working drawbridge over their crotch area. Kress didn’t really want to think about that part.

“Right, let me introduce all of you to the judges!” said Thyme with a smile. “First up, is this cranky old man I found in the forest!” Thyme waved his hands and said ‘cranky old man’ had the distortion effect around them fade. He had a gruff looking face and a notable scar across his chin. His hair still had some black in it, but it was peppered with white lines. His beard was completely grey. Kress had just one thought when looking at him.

*THAT’S THE FUCKING KING ISN’T IT!*

“I’m just here because I was promised free food,” said the grumpy old man.

*I’m telling you it IS! Is anyone else seeing this?* Kress looked around and apparently nobody knew their history well enough. Not even Nixilei… wait… Kress looked at Nixilei again and her eyes was clearly twitching. *Right ok. So I’m NOT the only one who can see this… but apparently it’s only like two people that can see that Thyme knows the MISSING HUMAN KING. Then again… that’s not really a surprise is it? Still surprising that he’s here… but probably not that Thyme knows the guy.*

“Next, I found this random hippy trying to sneak around so I grabbed him as well,” said Thyme with a shrug and a gesture towards the spot there was now an elf with a rather obvious fake beard in clear view. This time, Kress noticed Marigold’s hole team staring with mouths open, except Marigold who had her hands slapped over her mouth. *That’s Auctifer isn’t it?* Kress looked over at Nixilei. The eye twitching had gotten worse. *Yup. That’s gotta be Auctifer.*

“I mean… I’m just here for whatever dudes,” said probablyAuctifer in the worse approximation of a drugged person he could manage. Kress was that drugged person a few days ago. He’d know. He certainly wasn’t annoyed at the accuracy. No sir.

“Next is some woman I picked up at a brothel,” said Thyme, and waited for everyone in the room to turn their incredulous looks towards them. “No not like that. I was making some deliveries to them as a favour to a friend and saw her there and decided ‘she’d make a good judge so here she is!”

Thyme’s hands waved and once again there was a new person could be seen. There were a fae, and based on the pattern Kress had a pretty good guess as to who this was as well. The fact Green’s eyes were sparkling and Nixilei’s eye looked like it was going to vibrate out of his socket. Now technically Kress couldn’t say his was certain that was Titania. Furthermore, the fact she was dressed in a comical amount of makeup that looked more at home on stage then… elsewhere, did complicate matters… but Green and Nixilei seemed rather ‘certain’ as did the other fae around now Kress was looking.

“I’m also just here for the free food I guess?” said probablyTittania with a shrug. ．

Kress felt like slapping a hand to his face… but that would just mean that Thyme would win! It didn’t help that Thyme was already waving their hands again, “This one… well I don’t really know what this one is, it’s so dirty I can hardly tell. I’m thinking of calling it a soot goblin”

“I’m a bloody dwarf you annoying tree!” shouted the soot goblin. Obviously. No dwarven royalty here. Nope. Kress wasn’t looking at dwarven royalty covered in soot and neither was anyone else.

“Right… well,” Thyme slowly seemed to contemplate the words, “I’ve never heard of a ‘bloody dwarf’ but I suppose there are knew insects found all the time, so why not new species of dwarves? That makes sense right? Do you want some beer? Would that calm you down?”

“You’re a right shithead aren’t you Thyme?” said the soot goblin that totally wasn’t Oditr “You know very well I don’t drink alcohol,”

“Strange behaviour for a dwarf,” said Thyme. “Are you sure you’re not a soot goblin?”

*Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh at the fact Oditr is covered in soot. This is not funny. Don’t laugh.*

“Well may-be I wouldn’t look like a ‘soot goblin’ if you’d let me wash off before teleporting me here! You better have some good fruit juice around or all increase taxes on your bloody grove by 200%” threatened the soot goblin. No Kress wasn’t in denial. You are.

Thyme shrugged and threw a teeny tiny barrel at Oditr, who caught it easily. She sipped what was there and frowned. “I feel insulted… but this IS good juice so I’m going to let it slide,” said Oditr. I mean, the soot goblin.

“Excellent! Now onto the last judge!” Thyme waved their hands once more and Mint appeared. Not that Kress knew who she was.

Mint looked around confused. “Thyme what am I doing here? You didn’t inform me of anything I needed to do today… and what’s with all these new people?” Mint said as she gestured at the other judges. Obviously not recognising them.

“Well I picked up some random people on the street,” nobody was believing that line at all, “but I can’t really pick one beastkin. That just wouldn’t be fair. So instead, I’ve picked you to be a judge!” said Thyme with a smile.

“Right…” said Mint slowly “But what exactly am I even judging?”

“Sandcastle contest,” said Thyme quickly.

“I… I don’t know anything about building sandcastles. I’ve never been on a beach until recently. Why am I a judge for a sandcastle contest?” asked Mint even more confused now then before.

“Hey neither do they?” said Thyme pointed at the rest of the group. “I just picked up a random old man, a hippy, a nymphomaniac, and a soot goblin, so you being a judge is fine,”

It was at that moment the ‘soot goblin’ screamed and pounced at Thyme. Kress couldn’t help it. His face to his hands as he groaned. *What the heck is this mess!*