D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

“Hey, so… I get that the elf king is a bit weird… but what about all the others?” asked Kat.

Nixilei gave a shrug, “Depending on your definition of weird, Auctifer might be the strangest. That being said… the whole situation surrounding the human lands is pretty funny,”

Gareth let out a groan and put his head in his hands, “Urgh, I don’t want to hear about it,”

“Is it… embarrassing or something?” asked Kat, confused.

Nixilei grinned, but Kress stepped forward first, “It’s… certainly a story and a half, but I think it’s better if a human tells it no?” said Kress. Nixilei’s grin dimmed a bit and she made a ‘go for it’ gesture. Kress bowed mockingly, and Nixilei walked off to grab a glass of water from the table Thyme had out.

Kress watched Nixilei go for a bit before shrugging and turning back to Kat. “Right so, let’s explain how we got here. The human king before the most recent king is VERY old. He’s known as the strongest being on the continent and is considered one of the main reasons the humans have held onto their lands throughout time. He fought all the way back in the wars that lead to the founding of this tournament, and apparently he was pretty old even before that.

“Anyway, somewhat recently, though ‘recently’ is a bit of a relative term considering his age, his wife, the queen, died. It was a sad time apparently, but I’ve only ever heard of her in history books so I can’t really say. If you listen to some of the older folks, it sounds like the whole country cried rivers at her passing.

“The King and Queen loved each other quite a bit, if what happened next was anything to go by. See, it turns out that the King had married her for political legitimacy… and to have someone to handle the affairs of state. The Old King, just didn’t care. Like Auctifer, there was a play about their meeting.

“Apparently she kept trying to go behind his back to do all these various things… and the king kept trying to subtly hint that he knew and was fine with it… until eventually she started getting bolder and bolder, with her ‘schemes’. The king finally had enough, so he just walked in on the meeting with one of her spies.

“And by walked in, I mean he walked through the ground, breaking the wall of their secret underground bunker without breaking a sweat. The spy ran, and the king let him. Then he told the queen she was an idiot. If the play is anything to go by, it was this whole big thing. The king chained the queen up, and then, in plain words, explained just how little he cared for ruling.

“In the end, she took up the reigns of the kingdom, and allegedly she was very good at it. The king was still around of course, and he helped when asked, mostly with training and logistics for the army, acting as the general in most instances, and clearing out problematic monsters when necessary. ．𝐞𝘁

“Sadly, the Queen had to die. She just wasn’t as powerful as the King. He’s rumoured to be Tier 6, though some people believe he’s only Tier 4. Tier 5 is a reasonable guess… but nobody knows in truth. At least one of his Affinities is for Regeneration and he managed to accidentally make himself immortal, apparently.

“And while he might live forever… the queen could not. She never trained to that level, and even though she was forced to train to a certain level… it wasn’t immortality. Eventually she got old, and they had to pass the mantal on.

“That’s where things started to get messy. You see, the King and Queen didn’t have many kids. The King didn’t want to sleep around because he grew to love his wife, and the Queen didn’t want to take the time necessary to have and raise a child, at least, not often. In the end, they had three children.

“The first child died a long time ago. They were a poet, and a bit of a wastrel. I’d call them a womanizer… but he only liked men. His name was Appolian, and he’s still considered one of the best poets of the human empire. Anyway, he died comparatively young age of 150, having only reached Rank 2.

“Their second child, a woman by the name of Artema became one of the Queens of the elf kingdom. Sadly she’s baren, rather famously so, and she heads up the Elven Hunters. They’re charged with dealing with monster incursions. She’s still alive… but when she joined Auctifer’s harem, she renounced her claim to the throne.

“Then there was Hekule, the baby of the family. He clearly had his eyes set on the throne. So he trained… it’s just… apparently he was awful at it. Both as a magician and as a warrior. Still, he trained. Day in and day out, until the Queen eventually passed away after he turned 200.

“The Old King was already looking to retire, with no interest in ruling now his wife was dead… so Hekule took up the task. The Old King… or right his name. Right see it was… Ulf? I think? Most people just call him the Old King. Anyway, Ulf watched over Hekule’s rule for a decade then announced he was retiring and no longer wanted to be bothered. Which was reasonable. The man had ruled over the human lands for almost as long as the human lands existed. Ulf was fucking old, and even the people that were sad to see him go thought it was a very reasonable request…

“Well basically the first thing Hekule did after his dad left was to try and prove that he was just as strong as the old man now that he was Rank 4. He decided he wanted to take out the scourge of the dessert. It’s a massive sand worm thing that has a mouth the size of a city and some people worry might BE the dessert. Plenty of people theorise that the sand is a result of it shitting out chewed up rocks.

“Could be right, could be wrong, but it really is THAT big. Plenty of people tried to dissuade Hekule from this, but he was adamant. So, he went off to kill it… and promptly died. It was a massive disgrace, and Ulf sent a letter to the palace saying this ‘I will not morn my son. For clearly, he wished for death. I can only say that I am disappointed he couldn’t take the stress of the job for even a decade without me’.

“Which of course, prompted this big manhunt for Ulf because… well… Hekule was… promiscuous. He had quite a few scandals but the oldest kid was still like… twelve. So the nobles all wanted Ulf back.

“We… might have found him?” offered Kress uncertainly.

Kat just raised an eyebrow and Kress let out a long sigh. “Yeah, it’s a bit of a thing. See, they found the person they think is the Old King, just… up in the mountains with a small farm next to a lake. Said farmers insists he isn’t he king… but he looks like the king, he talked like the king, and there was the corpse of a sea serpent sitting next to his house at the time.

“So… he was probably Ulf, but he insisted he was ‘Steve the farmer’ and didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. Which… well… he set up his farm in the middle of monster infested lands and was apparently fine so nobody really believed him…

“So they kept trying to get him to come back, but everyone knew they couldn’t force him if he was Ulf… so they just kept asking him politely. Once a week. Apparently, we still do,”

Nixilei snickered but didn’t say anything and Kress rolled his eyes. “We still don’t know if he’s Ulf or not, and it’s been so long that the fact he hasn’t aged at all has swayed a lot of people but,” Kress just shrugged. “So for now Ulf is out. So obviously the crown prince should’ve been king right?

“Wrong. Because as he aged it became apparent to everyone that saw him the crown prince looked awfully like Hekule’s first Queen’s childhood friend. One magic test later and ‘woops he’s not actually the prince’ so the Queen and ‘prince’ were thrown out. So they went to the second Queen and tested the kid immediately, and found out that she wasn’t the kings… OR THE QUEENS.”

Nixilei snorted, as she held a hand over her mouth but Kress just ignored it and continued, “Nobody knows what the heck happened there, and the Queen was very surprised to learn that one. Still, the second Queen decided she’d like to raise the girl regardless of the fact and withdrew from politics.

“Then they went around testing Herkule’s bastards, and found a whole bunch… but nobody can agree on which one should actually inherit so it’s a big mess and then the council of Earl’s took over ‘temporarily’…

“Except it might really be temporary, because shortly afterwards Ulf sent another letter, with the royal seal, telling them that SOMEONE had to be King or Queen in a century or he’d just hand the kingdom over to the elves… but never specified that it had to be his descendant that rose to the seat,”