D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

”So where is Enuko-chan? Normally she at least has the manners to so hello when I arrive? Has she started going senile in her old age?” asked Mai with far more energy then necessary. Kat however was caught up with her first question.

*Why did I hear the chan in that statement? I know that’s a Japanese or Chinese thing. At least I think I know that. I’ve heard Gramps mention it at some point I’m sure so it’s probably Japanese… but why did I hear it when Mai spoke? Do the others use chan sometimes? Do I? System why am I just now hearing this?*

But D.E.M.O.N.S was silent on the matter which only added to the confusion. While Kat was trying to figure out what was going on Shizuka was thinking of ways to avoid answering the question while Minor was thinking of ways to answer the question while painting Enuko in the worst light she could. In the end, Shizuka settled for a bit of a middle ground knowing Mai wouldn’t really care about what was said as long as there was something said, ”Grandma is either sulking, fuming, or researching depending on the specifics and your interpretation”

Mai swirled around and turned into a copy of Enuko, a clearly younger looking one, not that Enuko looked old, but this version had noticeably fewer lines on her face. ”Enuko-chan? Sulking? Whatever for? What did she do this time? Is it anything like the time she instinctively took a hit for your Grandpa only to realise he’d set up a barrier so she got hit by the attack, and smashed into the barrier injuring her further? She was pouting for weeks! It was glorious!”

”Actually, yes sort of” said Shizuka. She was going to leave it at that but she watched Mai use her grandma’s body to wiggle eyebrows at her and shivered realising that Mai wanted more information. ”Fine. She tried to use some runes to trap Kat when we summoned her but they did literally nothing. It’s unclear how powerful or dangerous they were but they did nothing. Didn’t work at all”

Mai frowned at that and glanced over at Kat before changing her voice. Prior to this she’d kept the same chipper voice that was reminiscent of Vivian slightly. When she spoke next her voice matched the body she was in and sounding disturbingly like Enuko. ”I’m sorry for that Kat. I just worry so much all the time about my granddaughter, now granddaughters. I don’t mean to be a massive bitch to everyone but I’m incapable of functioning like a normal sapient being as soon as my family is in danger.

”Which wouldn’t normally be a problem but I’m so paranoid about demons, and mind control and mind controlling demons and spiders and snakes and anything that could possibly harm my poor granddaughters that I become a massive cunt occasionally. Of course, because I have no sense of time that means I’m an asshole all the time now. But I really am sorry” Mai crouched slightly with Enuko’s body so that she was making big watery up at Kat. She actually doubled the size of Enuko’s eyes just to improve the look.

Kat was gobsmacked at Mai’s response but before she could properly process it Mai broke away and started cackling again, voice reverting to her own. Shizuka looked pained, but not in the same way as before. What Kat didn’t know was that Minor was rolling around her mental landscape laughing all the while and Shizuka was trying not to do the same. It was a rather unflattering but accurate statement about Enuko. ”Aren’t you supposed to be friends?” asked Shizuka desperately pushing down her laughter.

”Well of course” said Mai swapping back to Kat’s appearance though now she had blue hair instead of red and her tail was the shape of clubs from a deck of cards instead of a spade. Kat wondered if that was important. ”she’s been my friend for longer then you’ve been alive. Doesn’t mean I can’t tell her when she’s being a bit of a cunt. Especially when she’s being a considerable amount of a cunt and not just a bit. I mean who does that really? Trapping the entrance hall specifically when you know a friend is visiting. I’d say I was surprised if she hadn’t done the same thing to me at least four times already.”

”Wait what?” Kat blurted out.

”I meant it when I said she was paranoid,” answered Mai, ”Granted one of those times was before we really got to know each other, and the second time I was told about it but the third time was completely unjustified and the fact it happened three times just to me is sort of weird don’t you think?

”It starting to sound like this is just a thing she does” answered Shizuka.

*I don’t know if I feel better or worse about the fact I’m not the only one she’s done this to. I also have no idea what to think about my fan teacher but I can’t even decide if that’s worth worrying about for the moment.* 

”Yeah well, pretty sure she’s tried to, or maybe not tried to… certainly planned for the death of every one of her friends at one point or another. Sometimes it was more serious then others. She made the most serious attempts against me I think. Maybe our tank? Depends if you consider unleashing crossbow bolts onto them serious. Considering they’re used to that kind of thing… maybe not?” Mai said mostly to herself. The fact that she’d split her head in two to have that conversation at her other face had no bearing on the weirdness. Right?

”So…” said Kat hoping to drag the conversation from… wherever weird places Mai was attempting to drag it, ”I know what you’re teaching me how to use fans… but what kind of weapons do you normally use?”

Mai merged her head back together and turned to Kat… before splitting them again, this time one had green hair and the other had purple. Both of them looked like Kat. Kat was deciding what the chances were Mai was just trying to get a reaction. She thought the chances were high. ”Well, I can certainly use fans” said Green, ”but what I actually do is transform my body into the weapon in question,” said Purple.

”Still I know the basics of every style” said Green, ”and quite a bit more on my favourites, one of which is fans. Granted the other is in some ways an oddly similar style with whips and whip arms” added Purple. ”But don’t worry about that” finished them both together.

Seeing Kat was just nodding along mostly to show she was paying attention Mai’s double faces pouted before merging back into one though now this Kat head had rainbow coloured hair that was constantly shifting as she stood there. ”Ok that’s cool” said Kat pointing at Mai’s hair.

”I’ll take it!” said Mai happily spinning around. When she had her hands hidden behind her back she summoned up two fans one was black with white trimming and the other was white with black trimming. ”I got at least something from you. It was a bit of a lacklustre ’that’s cool’ and I mean, I can do so much better then that normally but you seem really chill. Like shockingly chill. Like… do you know how many people complain about me looking like them within the first minute? Normally people find it weird.

”Especially when I start making them look better or worse, then they really start to have opinions and it gets kind of messy when I’m just messing around you know? How do you do it? Stay so calm about it all?” asked Mai.

Kat shrugged. ”I mean it’s not really my body it’s your body looking like mine? As long as you aren’t using it to play tricks on people I know it just sort of… doesn’t bother me? I mean, I’m quite comfortable with my body the way it is,” Even if I had to get used to the wings and the tail and the horns, ”so I don’t really care you can mix it up. And besides is it even still my body if you’re changing things?”

”You’re fun. I like you!” said Mai cheerily. Kat raised an eyebrow at the slight non-sequitur. ”Well none of my friends are willing to indulge me with cool stuff like this you know? They all made me promise not to mess around with ’their body’ without permission. Specific permission. I can sort of get away with looking like them normally because I conned them into accepting it as a necessity. I will admit, it’s funny because they were all very specific about what I had to look like… so now I look younger then them all when in ’their’ forms. It’s hilarious to needle them about.

”Still, my point is I bet you’d be willing to pretend to be my twin or sister or something for a few jokes wouldn’t you?” asked Mai.

*Hmm. You know what?* ”That does actually sound fun… but what if we just pretend to both be me next time we meet Enuko?” said Kat with a grin.. The fact that it was mirrored perfectly by Mai who had changed the hair back to Kat’s normal red was the perfect answer for them both.