D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

Kat took a spot on the wall and leaned against it, ignore the slightly rough texture that dug into her skin and the water that dripped around her outfit. Her skin was tough enough that it was no major concern but it was still a little annoying. It wasn’t like her knees were going to give out but she was starting to get into the role, and Excalibur was making it hard.

*The lack of expression is what makes this so difficult. I can see and hear that they haven’t really moved in the last ten seconds or so, but that’s my limit. I have to try and guess what they look like and what they are thinking without facial expressions to guide me. Still, I’m having a good time.* 

”Right… um… well” managed Excalibur quietly. It was clear Kat wasn’t intended to hear that, and it was only because of the constant flow of energy that she picked it up. Kat was actually a little surprised someone could manage to speak that quietly at all, it wasn’t even a whisper.

*Hmm, should I mention that I heard that? It would probably shake up poor Excalibur even more but I’m not sure if that’s the best option. Maybe keeping silent about how good my hearing is will be more fun.* 

Finally, Excalibur managed to recover. ”I see. That is a rather strange way to overcome your fear is it not?”

Kat stood up to give Excalibur a proper shrug letting her tail snake around and point to her chin as she tilted it along with the motion. *Going for maximum ’I don’t care’ energy right here.* ”Seemed pretty normal to me. I mean, I can see a lot of other people reaching the same conclusions if they were in my shoes.”

Kat had to slam energy into her cheek muscles to tighten them and keep herself from smiling as she heard Excalibur’s mouth drop open. *I wonder if she thinks I’m crazy. That would be hilarious if I can convince her I’m off my rocker. I wonder how hard that would be to do.* 

”So what’s your favourite food?” managed Excalibur, not letting themselves get too caught out this time.

”Pears” replied Kat easily.

”I am talking about full meals. How does that change your answer?” asked Excalibur

”It doesn’t.” replied Kat. *Because taking all factors into consideration pears are just great. You can have a couple of them for a meal if you really need, they take no prep time they taste really nice especially fresh and are shockingly under utilised in other dishes.* 

”Right. Of course” said Excalibur ”Perhaps you could speak about other fruits you enjoy?”

”I am capable of speaking on that subject” said Kat

Excalibur didn’t even resist the urge to slam their face into the desk. Straight down, with a solid… crack? Kat wanted to whip her head around at the noise but fought her gaze to let it slowly drift over. Looking, she could see that the table now had the impression of a nose and the rims of glasses.

*Wait hold up. I was just assuming those were something Excalibur was wearing… but if they can punch themselves into a table then… is that their face? I don’t quite know. I mean… wait is my nose tough enough to survive that? Probably not… but my regen would fix it? That’s the best guess I have.* 

”Why have you decided to be difficult?” asked Excalibur

Kat looked over and said. ”What do you mean? I’m answering your questions as clearly as I can?”

*Mwhahahaha I managed to say it! I wasn’t quite sure if that would get past the lie limitation, but I was thinking about a couple specific answers that were indeed just that. Exceptionally clear and concise. Misleading? Yes! Clear? Apparently clear enough*

Kat heard Excalibur bit into their lip followed by a sharp intake of breath that probably indicated that they had bitten through and cut themselves slightly. Kat just let them take their time before the next question.

”What other fruits do you enjoy?” asked Excalibur

*I do wonder what the point of this is? I mean, I get it, Envy is collected information on people, but does my favourite food really play that much into it?*

”I enjoy most fruits though I’m not all that fond of bananas for some reason.” Replied Kat. *That reason being that I always get the stringy bits caught in my teeth and I HATE that. Taste is mediocre, and while I could eat them, I’ve got enough other things to avoid it.* 

”Good. Good” said Excalibur, and Kat noticed that their breathing had steadied somewhat and their heart had calmed. *Well we can’t have that, can we?* ”What food do you hate?”

”Nothing.” Replied Kat with a soft smile on her lips as if reminiscing. In her head however she was grinning like a madwoman. *Because no food is so bad to actually hate. Sure I dislike things, but hate is a strong word. So glad I know about this loophole. Best yet it’s actually something I think about.* 

”What food do you dislike the most?” asked Excalibur.

”Did we not talk about the bananas?” Kat shot back.

”Are bananas your most disliked food?” responded Excalibur, not falling for the trap Kat had set. *I suppose they can’t all be winners.* 

”No it isn’t, though a compelling argument could be made.” Replied Kat

”What is the food you like the least?” asked Excalibur

*Oh yes I can have fun with this. Of the foods I like which do I like the least? Plain noodles perhaps? Nah that probably falls into ’ambivalent’. Maybe if I hadn’t thought about it, I could have said it but now… hmm. Hawaiian pizza? It’s alright but it’s a waste of ingredients. Doesn’t taste bad, but I think I can do better things with everything. Better toppings, pineapple is tasty on it’s own, and ham is mediocre as a meat? Yeah let’s go with that.* 

”Hawaiian Pizza” replied Kat. *I wonder how that translates actually? Demons don’t exactly have ’Hawaii’ now do they? This might have been a better answer then I originally thought.* 

”What does a place called Hawaii have to do with pizza?” asked Excalibur

*YES! IT DOESN’T TRANSLATE. I have no idea why though. Is it because I also have no idea why that’s the name? I at least know the name is wrong? Maybe that’s what they got? That the name doesn’t relate to the ingredients?*

”If I’m honest I’d love to know that as well” was the answer Kat vocalised. It led to Excalibur’s long sigh afterwards. *Really, you should be getting used to it at this point.* 

”What about it don’t you like?” asked Excalibur

*Hmm, I’m not sure I want to give my real answer. That actually reveals a good deal of information about me. That I can cook, and that I tricked them a bit with the previous question. Could I just say the taste? I mean that is part of the reason even if it’s not the real reason? Wait… ’what about it don’t you like’ shit. I actually still consider it something I ’like’. Is there anything I can say I don’t like other than how it uses ingredients?*

*How about… Wait, I can just avoid the question somewhat.* ”The cheese could be better” answered Kat. *Because it really can be. Melted cheese just isn’t as good as cheese that has yet to be melted. It’s a subtle dif- Ok need to not get lost in that thought.* 

To Kat’s shock, Excalibur actually nodded, as if agreeing with her. Kat even heard their heartbeat slow just the slightest amount alongside their muscles relaxing. *Holy shit they agree with me? Maybe I should give them a real answer just for that. Most people don’t see the difference.* 

”You named Hawaiian pizza there. Are there other kinds of Pizza you do enjoy?” asked Excalibur.

*Right. Proper answer time.* ”Yes actually, quite a few. I’m willing have most things on top of pizza, but they aren’t all great. I favour simple pizzas that stick to a coherent flavour profile. Peperoni and cheese is good, and beef and onion can be good as well. Meatlovers tends to feel a bit overdone.”

Excalibur tapped their foot quietly. Kat liked to think it was because they were trying to figure out why exactly she’d given a longer answer, but Kat couldn’t know that for sure.

”Ah, sorry, but I’ve just realised I forgot a particular question” said Excalibur, but it ran slightly hollow to Kat’s ears. Just slightly. ”You mentioned your parents died? How did that happen?”

Kat decided to let her smirk come through for this answer. ”Well, I never asked, and it’s not something I ever confirmed. I’ve heard a few different versions of the story, but I’ve no idea how close any are to the truth.”

*Mostly because I just took Gramps’ word for it and that was enough for me.. I’m glad I could stretch the truth using the bullies sad attempts to get to me by making how horrible fates for my parents.*