On Astral Tides: From Humble Freelancer To Astral Emperor

“No, it simply lacks the spark.” Irena sighed, the output from her new prototype of an artificial brain completely failing sixteen of the seventeen tests she had put it through. And likely the one success was only a fluke. How … frustrating.

“Gavno. I’m so angry!” she swore, running a hand through her white, slightly brittle hair. “Why does nothing work out for me? Biyat’!”

“None of that, little princess.” Her Babulya suddenly slapped her gently on the ear, a fleeting, almost soft strike, but even so Irena teared up, her hand going to it, pouting, her pink, moist eyes looking at the older woman accusingly.

“That hurt. Don’t hit my head, what happens if you injure my brain?” she said childishly, her mood erratic due to yet another failed experiment.

“I’ll do it when you stop using such bad language. Heaven knows where you learned such.” The old woman gazed at the screen in front of Irena. “I hope you’re not learning bad manners from those you talk to online. If so…”

Irena clutched her keyboard to her chest defensively. “No, I need to communicate. How else will I share ideas and make breakthroughs?”

“All right then.” Her Babulya sighed, a slight smile on her careworn features. She reached out a hand and Irena flinched again, expecting more punishment, only for her head to be rubbed gently, making her flush in happiness as she looked down, her body language rather like a cat. “But please, mind your language, devushka. Pretty girls should be elegant and soft-spoken. Like your mother.”

“Mama? I’ve heard her swear before.” Irena snorted, earning another look of disapproval, though the soft rubbing of her head didn’t stop. With a sigh she placed down her keyboard. “Mama and papa, I know they are working with these new people…”

“Have you been prying where you shouldn’t? That won’t do, not at all.” Her Babulya sighed. “Now, I shouldn’t be rewarding you for bad behaviour, but… if you promise to mind your tongue and be a good girl, I’ll make you some warm milk and cinnamon, just the way you like it.”

“Some cookies too?” she said hopefully, before her flush deepened. That is not the way a great scientist acts. I need to be more dignified. I’m sure I am looked down on because I am young and a girl.

“Of course. Freshly baked.” The woman promised, smiling fondly. “But do stop prying. I know you are Russia’s little genius, but if you peek into where your eyes don’t belong, then the trouble won’t stop at just you, dear.”

“I know. I didn’t. I could have!” she puffed out her chest proudly. “But I am not a fool. It’s obvious that if I don’t have access to the data, then it involves something very secretive. And that must mean these new people with aetheric abilities.”

“Aren’t you a clever one?” her caretaker praised her. “Yes, your parents are great scientists. But what do you mean by aetheric abilities?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Irena sighed. “But I’m frustrated.” She took a sip of her warm milk, smiling in pleasure, but even that was a frustrated expression. “I’ve put in requests for finding one who can do what I want, and I never get an answer. It’s easier to receive more funding, and we all know that is like trying to get blood out of a rock.”

“I see.” Her Babulya looked concerned, bringing over a plate of fresh cookies, the smell enticing. Irena wiped surreptitiously at the drool that was building up and pretended she hadn’t done such a thing, even as she eyed the plate happily. “So, are things not going well, my little devushka? The first pancake… or should I say cookie…” her smile was kind. “…is always lumpy. There’s no bad without the good. Your struggles now, surely they will lead to a better tomorrow. I know…” she ruffled Irena’s hair playfully again. “…nobody works harder than you, Russia’s little genius. After all, at your age you have already mastered many sciences.”

“It is still not enough.” Irena sighed. “I am missing something, even with the hints. The human brain processes data at a rate that is not fully understood yet, but compared to even the most powerful supercomputer, the energy usage is far more efficient, for far greater performance. I admit, in areas such as calculations and data crunching, a simple calculator wins… but what use is that?” Irena sighed. “I had made a breakthrough, and have increased the processing density of my prototype twofold, but it still cannot match the brain of even a mouse, let alone true intelligence as I am seeking…”

“Now, there’s no need to be discouraged, little Irena.” The older woman said gently. “You know you have been making progress, so don’t be too hasty. Many a fool rushes in, and the wise man watches first.” She frowned. “How about just this time I’ll look away, and you can watch some television? I do not approve of such vulgar things, but… you are young yet. And it will do you no good to work all day. Take a break.”

Crunching on a cookie, Irena nodded. “Yes, I’ll do that. You are quite right. Problems always have solutions. I simply need to find them…”

********

“That laser… the power needed to cut stone and what looks to be aluminium…” Irena mused, shocked. She had idly scrolled through the limited channels she had available, but just like before, almost every station was broadcasting an international programme. With one of the same participants, no less…

Doing some rough calculations, she worked out that if the energy was sustainable, it would be more than enough to power her prototype. The heat dispersion would be an issue though. Always an issue. Though if I think of it like a living creature… Irena had been working on various systems, such as robotic hands, motion stabilisers and more, but again, the power draw and heat build-up was always the problem. I’ve made progress, but…

The illusion was shocking enough, and she had no way of even calculating how much energy it required to exist. “No, even thinking of it in those terms is wrong. Aether is power, but… it’s not thermal or electric…” She bit her lip, thinking, tapping on her keyboard one-handed, the other using her touchscreen to sketch out more designs. As she did so, she noticed one of those she enjoyed talking to online had appeared. ScienceRat. A curious screenname. I wonder what the story behind it is. The way he speaks is strange, almost as if… her eyes narrowed, and she typed out a message.

“Good afternoon. I’ve not seen you in a while. Have you been busy?” She waited for the answer to her polite enquiry, unaware she was holding her breath. For a long moment that made her heart pound there was no response, before words appeared on her screen.

“Oh my yes, it is frantic around here. But to be busy is a delight, especially when a solution to a problem blocking my path has been found. A temporary one, certainly, but even temporary breakthroughs are the joy of Mortal Engineering and your Sciences.”

A breakthrough? “Lucky.” She typed back, envy gnawing at her as she snapped another cookie off in her mouth, biting it savagely, taking her frustrations out on it, though the sweet taste pleased her. “I am still floundering, unable to progress much at all.”

“I see. Lacking that spark we talked about? Yes, it is a troubling problem, but one that fascinates and intrigues me. Your work on it will surely make you a legend among Scientists when it succeeds.”

That made Irena puff out her chest with pride. He said when, not if. It feels good to have the confidence of such a clever man. Or… is it a man? It was now her cheeks she was puffing out, in an uncertain pout. Do I ask the question that has been on my mind? She glanced at her TV, where the man, who was also the Hero of Britain, was no longer using any fantastic abilities, so she lost interest in that. Deciding to work her way up to it, she ventured a different question. “I do hope so. My frustration at the moment is great. I have asked for the aid of someone with suitable abilities, but… no, so, what problem have you solved? Perhaps hearing about yours will spark my own instincts. That pun was intended.” She tapped the keys with a slight smile, enjoying conversing with someone on her level, or at least capable of understanding.

“Very witty. You remind me of the princess.” He mentioned her before. I am so very curious, but… knowledge comes first. “We are currently establishing a factory as long planned. Now we have access to… exotic materials…” she could almost hear the amusement in that phrasing, despite it just being words on a screen. “…at least on a temporary basis, as well as strong helpers… oh, perhaps I am boring you?”

“Not at all.” Her fingers danced on the keyboard, her cooling milk forgotten. “By exotic materials and strong helpers… I had wondered, your odd English phrasing… you are not human, are you?”

“Well done. You are sensitive to nuance and have good attention to detail. Invaluable traits.” She was praised, again making her happy. “Yes, I am indeed not mortal, though I have walked the world for quite some time now, thanks to my benefactor. Are you watching the television right now?”

“I was, the illusion and laser were sights to behold… wait, you mean?” she typed, shocked, though the pieces did fit. “Are you one of this Akio Oshiro’s men? Then the princess must be…” She thought back to the press conference in Britain and the revelations which had overturned her view about science and what it meant. Though it has not shaken my belief. Even aetheric abilities have underlying, knowable rules and principles, just as this man… no, this rat, I suppose… has assured me.

“Of course, princess Shaeula Tu Shae Dannan, noble daughter of Shaetanao, and one of the innumerable brides of Akio Moonstone Oshiro.” The words came back, and Irena nodded, confirming her guesses.

“I see. Then should you be talking to me? I am a Russian, not Japanese. If you aid my work…”

“We are not so narrow-minded.” Her correspondent rebuked her gently. “I merely offer advice from a seeker of true knowledge and the principles behind everything, and in turn sometimes I receive some wonderful insights that only a talented mortal could know.”

“In that case…” Irena’s heart was racing now. She had asked and begged and pleaded for some of these strange new people to be sent to her to aid in her research, but silence was her only answer. Now she knew she had access to a source of that knowledge, no matter how far away or fleeting… Is the knowledge credible? What if he misinforms me to throw me off the path… no, it was helpful before… she felt a little bad for doubting a fellow scientific genius, but considering her situation here, a little paranoia was perhaps warranted. I am young, but I am not unaware of the dark side of the world. “…Can you answer my curiosity? I indeed can’t find a way to simulate the spark you speak of. During testing the performance of my Artificial Intelligence outstrips any on the market publicly, especially after my latest tweaks, but it fails all metrics of genuine sapience. There is nothing new, merely very proficient rehashing of the inputted data sets. Now that alone has many applications, but…”

“But you want more?” the rat replied. “Of course you do. We strive for the heights. I have already far surpassed my limits, but beyond each limit, a taller, bolder limit lurks anew. Would that Akio could observe you with his Eye, we would no doubt see many interesting things.”

An Eye? Observe me? I am curious, but no, now isn’t the time… “When you speak of exotic materials, do you mean… those with properties not found here? No, I’ll be clear. Do you mean from the place you come from?”

“Why yes, you are correct, as expected.” The reply was quick and without any evasion. “I believe you were worried about power draw and heat dispersion. Let me offer a potential solution…” A series of figures came scrolling across her screen, and in her shock she was heedless of half a cookie falling from her mouth, dirtying her t-shirt with crumbs.

“These figures are impossible. That size, that energy density… and heat recapture and conversion? Such performance exceeds the most effective current chemical batteries several times over!”

“They do, do they not?” She could almost hear the laugh as words came back to her incredulous denials. “I was hardly sure that they would perform as anticipated here on the Material. I had hypotheses and expectations, judging by prior experimentation, but fortunately now I have empirical data. Alas, I judge that even with these, you will not achieve your true goal, but as a stepping stone…”

“You have some already made?” she typed back.

“As of now, we can only assemble them elsewhere and import them. Our solution is impractical for long-term production and retention, but even so it is a vast step forwards, and learning the new Law… I call it the Law of Materialisation, will enable us to at least create effects that your human scientists can only dream of.”

Law of Materialisation? He said ‘here on the Material’… and Materialisation, in English, it means to come into being, to become reality. So I can only conclude… Her keen mind working, her cookies and milk forgotten, she hammered at her keys. “Do you mean you can create new materials, ones unbounded by the laws of what we considered reality?”

“I dislike that term. The Astral is just as fundamental to reality as the Material. Just as Quantum Mechanics and Classical Physics seem to have little relation, but in fact are two sides of a similar coin.”

“You…” her fingers paused, unsure of how to continue. “…are teasing me. There is no way you would share such knowledge with me for no reason. What do you want?” Mama and papa told me to always be wary, that others, bad people, would covet my genius. And I know that’s true. She glanced at the armoured door to the lab where she worked, ate and slept.

“How defensive. Just as Akio and the princess merely want to protect all within their sight, I want to know all within my sight. If others know too, then I have spread enlightenment, the true essence of Mortal Engineering. Besides… why not come work with us? You moaned about lacking funds. Soon I shall have all the money you could ever want. Although, to say it will be mine is incorrect, as it will go to Akio. But he never denies those around him what they need. Why not see what you can do… perhaps we can even help you create that spark you need.”

Gnawing on her lip, Irena clenched her fists until her knuckles were white. After some effort she relaxed, fingers pressing the keys slowly. “It does sound wonderful, but I cannot. I am a loyal Russian, and my research is vital to the motherland. For Russia… I have to contribute. I cannot simply leave on a trip. No matter how inspiring it sounds.”

“I see. So, you do not have freedom?” the words came back, and she was annoyed.

“I am in danger if I leave! Mama and papa know that. I have the best guards here. Recently some bad people came to kidnap me. There were a lot of deaths. But the brave soldiers kept me safe. I can’t simply betray them.”

“Loyalty is a wonderful thing, but… are you saying you have no freedom to decide yourself? Do you have no faith in us? I believe Akio and the princess have adequately demonstrated their strength, and there are many like them all working together. Besides, you are a girl, Akio has a weakness for protecting those.”

“I… I am not free to make such decisions.” She muttered bitterly, before typing the same response.

“How sad. If you cannot choose your own path, then you are at best a prisoner, at worst a slave.” Before Irena could reply angrily, he continued, words springing up in a torrent. “I expect that made you angry. I will not apologise, though I confess, as a Fae, I do not share the same sensitivities as you mortals do. There was much agonising over what to do with such precious Favours as our captured enemies possess. I would rather use an enemy, by whatever means necessary, than let a precious tool lie unused. Of course, an ally is to be treasured and protected, never fear I would exploit you! But… will you fulfil your dreams there?”

Will I fulfil my dream? What is my dream? “I am making progress.” She insisted, though bitterness was spiking within. “It is not as swift as I would wish, but the task is monumental. I will succeed, even if it takes me until my dying day.” Which might not be as long as I wish. While my albinism is not life-threatening, my overall health is poor and I am rather frail… but even with that, I have many years yet ahead of me.

“I see. But setting all that aside… would you not like to visit, to explore the Astral, see wonders few mortals ever have? Your horizons would broaden, creativity spark… you could experiment with materials you have never seen, perhaps even learn how to use aether yourself.”

“I…” looking down, depressed, her fingers wouldn’t move, only a single solitary word dropping from her lips. Tasting salt, feeling dampness on her cheeks, she let the moment drag out, before she angrily responded. “Of course I would! Any scientist would. But I know it is impossible.”

“Have you asked?” the response came back. “Perhaps your country would realise they would only benefit if your knowledge improved.”

I can’t. If I do, then I worry… “I will be denied, and they will ask who put such ideas in my head.” She clutched the keyboard to her chest again protectively. “I worry they will take away my ability to connect to those outside the Institute…”

“I see. Then are you free, or are you merely in a gilded cage, with pretty toys to distract you?” At his words she let out a pained yell, and her Babulya rushed in.

“What is it little Irena? Did you see a spider again?”

That only happened one time! And I was younger then! Pouting, she shook her head. “Oh… no, I just realised the milk had gone cold. It surprised me.”

“I see. I will fix you a fresh one…” she took the half-empty mug, before eyeing the plate of cookies, surprised that many were still remaining. “Not hungry, little one?”

“I’ll eat them later. I’m just thinking right now.” As her caretaker left, she looked at another message, and saw that he had logged off afterwards.

“If you ever grow tired of the cage, I would be more than happy to show you a wider world. But should asking pose a risk… I am sure you have an excellent memory, and ways to outsmart any who try and hold you back. Simply say it, and we shall come.” It was followed by several email addresses and phone numbers. I see. What do I want to do? I do love my country, mama and papa too. But… I am indeed a caged bird. Though it is only to keep me safe from predators…

With that thought in mind she gave up for now, instead running a new simulation, taking into account greater power throughput, storage and heat dispersion. Let’s see what we could achieve with some of these new batteries. Though how will I ever get any? Japan will never let them out of their grasp…

 ********

“Hard at work I see.” Her Babulya placed a fresh mug of warm milk beside her. Irena nodded, engrossed in the simulation. Until it is proven in reality, it is merely speculation, though previous modelling has proved accurate so I can expect the same to likely hold true.

“Good, I am sure your mother and father will be proud. You know… we have a surprise.”

Oh? “What is it?” Irena asked, still barely concentrating. Behind her the door opened, and her eyes went wide as she caught sight of those who were entering in the reflection on her screen. Turning, her work forgotten, she smiled brilliantly. “Mama, papa! It’s been ages!”

The two adults that entered shared a lot of facial features with Irena, though their hair and eyes were different. Her mama was a tall blonde, while her papa had dark brown hair and stern eyes. On seeing their daughter they smiled, though there was a touch of sorrow in her mama’s eyes. On seeing that, Irena leapt to her feet, arms outstretched and soon her mama scooped her into a hug, stroking her head, while her Babulya made herself scarce, a gentle smile on her face.

“So how’s my little angel, our little genius? I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve been able to come see you, but…”

“It’s all right mama. I’ve been busy.” Irena lied. I’ve been lonely, but… I understand. I’m not a kid. She squirmed, embarrassed all of a sudden. “And I’ve been well looked after.”

“Seems like your diet could use some work.” Her papa said pointedly, seeing the plate of cookie crumbs. “And you’re a mess.”

Irena realised her t-shirt was covered in crumbs and she flushed, a shocking contrast against her normally bone-white skin.

“Sorry papa. But I need sugar to keep my brain working. I’m at a delicate juncture with the project…”

“I know. I’m just teasing you, Irena.” He said with a smile, and after her mama released her, papa patted her head gently, making her smile. “So, how goes your dream? If it succeeds, it will revolutionise the world, and Russia will be at the centre once more.”

Her face fell for a moment, though she quickly smoothed her expression, normally thoughts of helping the motherland filled her with happiness, but the words she had read earlier kept replaying in her head. No, I’m not a slave! I’m Irena, I’m me! “it’s hard. I think there’s a limit. But…” her eyes brightened. “I wanted to ask. Papa, you and mama are working with the new people who can control aether, aren’t you?”

They stiffened for a moment, before mama laughed. “Our dear daughter is so sharp.” She leant down, meeting her eyes. “Yes, we are. It’s a great honour. We’ve even met the President himself several times. But our work should be secret. Have you been snooping where you shouldn’t again?”

Irena shook her head, offended. “No, I wouldn’t! I’m a good girl. But it’s obvious. What else would you be doing I’m not allowed to see. Here at the Fyodor Institute, I get what I need. Except that.”

“Don’t pout, Irena.” Papa said sternly. “It’s not so simple. Though your request has found its way to us. We’re not the head of the programme, but we do have significant say. So of course we’re looking. But… it’s hard to find someone suitable. Perhaps if you explained what you want…”

“Oh, I will, I will!” Irena declared, excited. “What I need is someone who can…” Mama, papa, I’ve missed you! I’ve not been lonely, I promise, but… sometimes I wish it was safe to go outside, see different scenery…

 ********

“Unfortunately there’s no-one that can do anything like that.” Mama shrugged apologetically, and Irena wondered if she would grow up to be as beautiful as her. Probably not, compared to mama I’m a frail matchstick, unbalanced and not cute at all. They were all drinking tea, since mama and papa wouldn’t drink alcohol when working, though Irena found it funny that papa was making a distasteful expression.

“Even in Russia, we struggle. The President has offered a great bounty and high position to anyone that comes forward to serve the motherland, which has attracted many, but many is only in comparison to before.” Papa said, taking another small sip of tea. “This cookie is good.” He crunched one noisily between his teeth, enjoying Irena’s reaction as she complained that was hers. “While the motherland is large, our population is modest. And маги, mages, those who control the aether, are not common.”

“That reminds me, Irena. How do you know the term? Have you been watching Television?” Mama glanced at the screen which was switched off.

“Yes, I saw the talk show earlier. Before that the press conference in Britain…” This could be my chance to ask.

Mama and papa exchanged rueful glances, before mama smiled softly. “It really has been too long. Weeks since we have seen you, darling girl. But you are so mature. Normally at your age we wouldn’t dream of leaving you alone, but you are smarter than most adults, and we are very proud of you. All Russia is. You’re the hope of the nation.”

“Am I? Maybe before, but now… what these mages can do surely outstrips us all.” Irena didn’t believe that, but she wanted to gauge their reaction.

“They can perform miracles, yes. It shocked us at first.” Papa agreed. “But our will is not so easy to shake. There must be underlying principles. So no, I don’t think we are in conflict, Irena.”

I see. “Yes, I think the same way! Which is why I believe I can use their help to finally accomplish my dream and bring honour to our family and Russia!” she said proudly. “But I’m curious…”

“You always were, my little angel.” Mama said. “So why stop now?”

Irena giggled, though her tension was high. “I wonder, what do you think of this Akio from Japan?”

“Oh, has he caught the fancy of my daughter?” papa joked. “I’ll not let him have you! You’re to marry a strong Russian man, give birth to many babies, all little geniuses like you!”

“Be serious, papa!” she chided, embarrassed. “I am a scientist, I don’t believe in silly things like crushes or love at first sight. Besides, we all know with my frail body, giving birth is out of the question.” Wait, that gives me an idea. I’m so smart! “Unless I was healed of course. Perhaps we could pay for Akio to come here and take a look at me? Or I could visit Japan…” she said hopefully, only to see her parents exchange a long, gloomy look.

“You know that’s not possible, Irena.” Papa said at last. “You remember the attack? It is hardly the only one. Your scientific breakthroughs have made Russia strong. Cryptography, Artificial Intelligence, sorting Algorithms… each one is precious. And other countries covet those. And they would kill you if they can’t have you.” he warned, and her stomach fell.

“I know. I remember.” And she did, all too vividly. I still sometimes have nightmares about that day. I hide under the bed, crying, but this time… there are footsteps, a shadow, and I am dragged out screaming by my hair… fortunately I always wake up then, and Babulya is there to soothe me… “But if you wish for me to do things normal adults do, such as find a man… I hardly can in here, papa, mama.”

“Our Russian mages are few in number, but all are strong and brave.” Papa insisted. “One with healing abilities will be found soon, I know it. You have no need to go abroad.” His eyes narrowed. “What is this really about?”

“So, father, mother…” she changed her usual endearing and instinctive manner of address, and they both tensed. “…I am making progress, but I believe unless I have a change of scenery, I’ll stagnate.”

“What do you mean, Irena?” papa asked. “We can arrange something. We just need to clear it with the Institute and arrange a suitable escort. Perhaps Saint Petersburg. Do you remember visiting there before you enrolled here? I do.”

Mama agreed. “Yes, I agree. We’ve kept you cooped up too long. We’ll… see what we can arrange.”

See? I’m not in a cage. You were wrong… she felt relieved, until mama continued. “But can you bear with us a while, my dear daughter? Right now the situation is tense. We don’t want to see you hurt.”

Irena’s face fell, and her stomach ached anew. “I see. How… how long until I can leave?”

Her parents looked genuinely crestfallen, and Irena felt her heart soften towards them, even if she still felt dreadful. I know, they are not at fault. I have had the best treatment, and brave Russians have died protecting me. But… a cage to keep out bad people keeps me locked in too.

“We’ll speak to the Director of the Institute and the head of your bodyguards.” Mama promised. “Your father can even talk to our great President next time he sees him. He’s very proud of you and calls you a true Russian treasure.” Mama continued. “And we’ll try hard to find someone who can help your research. Just… it’s a shame.”

“What is?” Irena asked.

“It’s going to be hard not to be overshadowed by the mages. But… I have faith in you.”

“As do I.” papa agreed. “The world is changing, but one thing remains the same. You’ll always shine, our Irena. I just hope you can continue to live in peace. Just like how we named you.”

“Peace, huh?” Irena mused. “I don’t understand. Science drives the world forwards, makes life better for everyone. Why can’t we all get along, push forward together? Surely that’s all that matters?” Her thoughts turned back to the typed conversation of earlier, and her kindred spirit, separated by a great distance and even by species, but sharing the same drive for progress.

“And yet science also leads to great despair. The Nuclear Bomb, bioweapons, environmental destruction…” her papa sighed. “You’re too pure, Irena. Too focused. If everyone was like you, the world would be a happier place. Which is why we never want to see you hurt. Here… you’re safe. If we were to lose you, our only child…”

Mama and papa are prisoners too. Of fear, not of these barred walls. “I understand. But… sooner or later I will have to take a chance. I love my research, but… I am beginning to think I need a change, even if only for a while. Just as Newton discovered gravity by dreaming under an apple tree, I too would see the outside world and allow nature to advise me.”

“You speak so boldly to your parents.” Papa ruffled her hair gently. “We’ll do our best for you. So you do your best in the meantime, as you always do.”

Irena nodded. If I say I want to visit Japan, there’s no telling what will happen. I hinted at it with good cause, and mama and papa immediately said no. But… no, I can still peer though the bars, talk to those with the same dreams as me. Not realising that now she was starting to think of the Institute as a cage, she smiled, though there was sadness in it, as her parents noticed. “I do wonder though. If I was born healthy, would I have chosen a different path? Would it have been satisfying, seeing the sun rise and fall on a different world?”

“Maybe. We would give anything to have you healthy, my dear.” Mama said. “But if you weren’t so curious, so smart, so eager… you wouldn’t be you.” She hugged Irena tight, and Irena enjoyed the warmth of seeing her parents for the first time in weeks, before she realised one thing. I love you mama, but you’re lying. You turned down my request to be healthy again… Perhaps it was selfish, perhaps it wasn’t possible. After all, her condition was hardly an injury or an illness. It likely was never meant to be. But… I would like to try. But now isn’t the time…Irena squeezed shut her pale pink eyes, losing herself in the moment, but her brain worked frantically, turning her towering, abnormal intellect to a new problem. The goal is to have more freedom, without endangering myself or putting mama and papa in a tough position. Now I know the goal… all I have to do is think of the shortest, safest path to make that happen…