Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

Wei Xiaobao: Hahaha… Pull out… Late. Brother, you’re a genius! I never expected that!

Zhu Bajie: I’ll be damned! God Chen, you’re such a pervert! (Thumbs up)

Perverted Spirit: It’s beyond my imagination. You win!

Hong Haier: God Chen. You’re such a filthy person – I like you, man! One more dirty question, please! (Good job)

”All these fellows, so out of touch with the real world. Can’t believe they’re actually laughing at such a lame joke!” Chen Xiaobei inhaled deeply before chortling evilly. ”I shall use my trump card this time, and nobody would dare call themselves experienced players anymore!”

Chen Xiaobei: Since you fellas insist, I’ll give another question. Be prepared! It’s both hardcore and disgusting! (Cool)

Everyone: Silence! Silence! God Chen is going to ask a question!

Chen: Three brothers are trapped on an island. A few days later, the third brother wanted to cut off his penis to quell his hunger. The second brother tried to stop him by saying, ”Idiot, you should get an erection before you cut it off! You can get more meat that way!” At the same time, the big brother started to masturbate! The second brother and third brother were shocked. They asked: ”Big brother, third brother is supposed to be the one cutting off his dick! What are you doing?”

Zhu Bajie: One is not enough. He wants to eat his own dick as well!

Bull Demon King: Such a good brother!

Wei Xiaobao: That’s right, he’s a good brother!

Chen Xiaobei: Hehe… It seems like none of you are actually dirty-minded. Too innocent. As pure as water. (Cool)

Perverted Spirit: Wrong answer? How could this be? Then what’s the answer?

Hong Haier: God Chen, I need the answer! Quick, I can’t hold on much longer!

Everyone: Give us the answer! Give us the answer!

Chen Xiaobei: The big brother wanted to dip the third brother’s penis in his own sauce before eating it.

Once more, the entire group turned quiet before exploding into a frenzy after three minutes!

Wei Xiaobao: Sauce!!!! Oh, my god… I can’t… God Chen! You have the greatest filthy mind of all time!

Zhu Bajie: Dipping in his own sauce!!!!! That’s freaking hardcore and disgusting!!

Perverted Spirit: God Chen, I surrender! It’s your victory!

Bull Demon King: I’m very impressed! I’m a novice compared to you.

Hong Haier: God Chen, king of filthy minds! You shall reign over the world of perverts forever and ever!

Everyone: God Chen, king of filthy minds! You shall reign over the world of perverts forever and ever!

”Haha… Bunch of clowns. I don’t even want to rule the world of perverts! Hahaha…” Chen Xiaobei was chipper; he was rather proud to have impressed a group of veteran degenerates with just two perverted questions. There was no doubt that they would not look down on his virginity anymore!

Wei Xiaobao: Everyone, silence, please! I have an announcement to make!

Everyone: [Silence]

Wei Xiaobao: I’ve always thought that I’m the king of degenerates… but now, I found someone better than me! Compared to God Chen, I’m just a newcomer in the world of filth. I have much to learn… So, I have decided to pass the administrator position to God Chen. He shall lead us to victory! We shall learn from him and improve our perversion soon, so that we won’t embarrass our new overlord!

Everyone: God Chen, king of filthy minds! You shall reign over the world of perverts forever and ever!

Ding!

[Congratulation! Wei Xiaobao has just assigned you the position of administrator!]

’Erm… Why is this happening? I don’t want to be the administrator of this pervert groupchat! My reputation will be ruined if others learned about this! How would I enjoy my time with Chang’e in the future?’ Chen Xiaobei thought.

While he was still tunned and unable to find a way to refuse his new position, five Red Envelopes appeared on his cellphone screen.

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Wei Xiaobao! You have received a High-Grade Replicated Ma Liang Divine Pen! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Perverted Spirit! You have received a bottle of Obedient Water! It has been stored inside your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Zhu Bajie! You have received the Bellyband of Qinglian Goddess! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Bull Demon King! You have received a martial art manual; Breast Groping Dragon Claw! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Hong Haier! You have received a book; Seventy-Two Ways to Get Laid! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

”I’ll be damned… Five Red Envelopes! What is going on?” Chen Xiaobei was caught in both surprise and joy, although he also noticed that every Red Envelope contained items for perverts save for the High-Grade Replicated Ma Liang Divine Pen!

Still, it did not really matter – to Chen Xiaobei, getting Red Envelopes alone overruled the objects within. He would not mind becoming the administrator after receiving five Red Envelopes.

Chen Xiaobei: Everyone! What’s going on? I don’t think I should take your Red Envelopes. As the saying goes: those who sow none reaps none!

Wei Xiaobao: God Chen, please. You don’t have to be shy, just accept our tithes! It’s our group’s rule: moderators are supposed to send Red Envelopes to the administrator, and then the administrator would send something nice to the group members!

”Damn it, I knew that’s coming. Nothing is free! I can’t believe they are actually asking something in return!” Chen Xiaobei clicked his tongue.

Chen Xiaobei: What’s the ’something nice’ you guys want?

Wei Xiaobao: It’s simple. Just use the High-Grade Replicated Ma Liang Divine Pen to draw some animated lewdness, and share it with the group!

”Blaaargh… They want me to draw animated porn!” Chen Xiaobei exclaimed, almost puking out a mouthful of blood.

To think that he actually believed that the High-Grade Replicated Ma Liang Divine Pen was just a normal item. In the end, it’s another item for perverts!

Chen Xiaobei: What if I don’t know how to draw?

Hong Haier: If that’s the case you will be demoted from administrator, and you have to return the Red Envelopes to us!

Chen Xiaobei: Erm… I’m just kidding, I know how to draw! Don’t worry – leave it to me!

Zhu Bajie: I’m pretty sure that God Chen’s impressive filthy mind would help him come up with a masterpiece! This is so exciting!

Everyone: We’ll wait eagerly for your work, God Chen!

Chen Xiaobei: Erm… I shall leave to brainstorm a bit. Stay tuned for some amazing animated porn!

Everyone: Yes, God Chen! See you soon!

’Sigh… I don’t even know how to draw, let alone make animated porn… What should I do?’ Chen Xiaobei thought, scratching his head as his mother called him from downstairs to get some dinner.

After that, Chen Xiaobei took a First Love Peach with him and headed to Song Qincheng’s hotel. Her door had been left unlocked because he told her that he was coming.

As he twisted the doorknob and entered, he blushed a scarlet crimson.