Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

After all the hate messages, the Prime’s message came to Chen like a ray of hope and lifted him out of depression.

Chen: Sifu! I’m in big trouble! Please help me!

DING! The Prime has muted this chat!

Just like that, the chat finally quietened down.

”Oh my god! Shutting everyone up just like that! My sifu is too awesome! Chen’s eyes nearly popped out when he saw the notification. If it wasn’t so, why would people call his sifu the most imperious of the gods? Even bossier than the Three Pure Ones! Shutting up the whole chat without even asking any questions, he’s shooting first and asking questions later! That just showsed how domineering he was!

Prime: Whoever has a problem with my disciple, speak!

DING! The Prime has unmuted the chat.

...

...

...

Three whole minutes passed, and no one dared say anything.

”Shit! This is just too freaking awesome!” Chen thought to himself while staring at the phone screen. His blood was boiling with excitement and there were goosebumps all over him. Who would dare challenge his sifu? Who can?

Prime: Don’t say I’m being a bully! You guys had your chance to talk, so don’t say I’m not giving you any chances! But since you guys aren’t saying anything, so I’ll say something!

Prime: Who should I start with first?

Prime: @Shennong you smelly old fart! Have you no respect for your own age? What Hundred Herbs Potion? That’s just toxic waste from your medicine production! You even added water! Did you try to sell that to my disciple for 100 merit points a bottle? You sly old fox! And you’re calling others a swindler? How dare you!

Shennong: Prime, I was wrong... Please let me save some face, let’s talk in private... (3 ashamed emojis)

Prime: Pssst! So your face is important, but my disciple’s isn’t? Why didn’t you flame him in private then? Apologize to him now!

Shennong: @Chen, I was wrong. Please accept my apology...

”Holy cow! This is crazy! One moment he’s angry the next he’s telling me he’s sorry! Ahahaha... Having a badass sifu is really awesome...” Chen was thrilled. When the matter of the spicy sticks came to light, he was very sure that he would be in a very bad spot for a very long time. Until sifu showed up and solved everything just like that. Chen was more than relieved. He was elated!

Prime: @Bull Demon King You! You rented a broken hammer to my disciple for 1000 points and you think you can get away with that? You lying scum! And you’re making a ruckus over this right now? If your face is itching that much, why don’t I come over and slap it for you?

Bull Demon King: No no no no! Hahaha, Prime you are funny... I’m fine, my face is fine... (3 shocked emojis)

Prime: Then you know what to do!

Bull Demon King: @Chen, I’m very sorry... I did try to cheat you before... This is definitely on me...

Prime: @Lord Yanwang, How can you be so shameless? Chen exchanged his spicy stick just for your stupid Netherspirit Battlescouter and your useless wooden sword, but you want him to refund you with merit points? Where the hell is your pride? Did you feed it to the dogs, or what?

Lord Yanwang: Prime, I was wrong (3 facepalm emojis) @Chen, I apologize. I was just jumping on the bandwagon and blindly following the majority, not that I have a problem with you in particular...

Prime: @Erlang

Erlang: Prime, I know what I need to do. @Chen, I’m sorry! I was the one who’s wrong here!

Prime: Since when did I say that you can apologize yet? Hmph! Among all these people, you deserve a beating the most! I’m have not even begun with you, who the hell said you can apologize?

Erlang: Oh Prime! Please let me go... (3 sobbing emojis)

Prime: Since the beginning of this Red Envelope group, you cheeky little asshole, you have been staring with all three eyes at your screen without rest, waiting to grab those Red Envelopes! And until this very moment, you still haven’t given anything back to the group! Even your pet dog has thrown in some of his dog food. Are you a lesser person than your dog?

Erlang: Oh no please let me off this time... (This is too embarrassing)

Prime: Not giving back anything aside, you actually had the balls to go spread rumors and talk shit about my disciple, calling him stingy! You think I wouldn’t find out? You’re lucky enough that I still haven’t gone over there and opened a can of whoop-ass on you, but you still had to flame him in public chat!

Erlang: Holy Prime, please don’t be mad, I’ve learned my lesson (3 crying emojis)

Prime: I’m still not done with you! This spicy stick issue is definitely your doing, am I right? What are you trying to pull here? Trying to blackmail my disciple of his merit points? Or his Red Envelopes?

Erlang: No I wouldn’t dare...

Prime: See this is what I don’t get about you: You’re the God of War, the general of the Heavenly Army, how can you be so shameless? Can’t you please act like a god? You’re really embarrassing us, other gods, you know!

Erlang: Wuwuwu... I’ll never do it again...

Prime: Hmph! I don’t want to waste my time on this any more than necessary! So do not ever let me catch anyone talking shit about my disciple again! @Erlang you may apologize now. And be very sincere about it! Stop making us gods look bad!

Erlang: Yes yes yes... I’ll throw in a big Red Envelope here as an apology to Chen...

DING!

[Erlang is sending a Red Envelope to the group!]

”Oh gosh, after getting apologies I’m still getting Red Envelopes! That’s mine!” Chen was monitoring the chat in silence. But as soon as he saw the Red Envelope, he tapped to receive it.

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Erlang’s Red Envelope. Received 10 God of War’s Body Strengthening Pills. Already stored in your treasure chest![

”God of War’s Body Strengthening Pills? The name alone sounds like it is perfect for physical stage cultivators!” Chen’s eyes lit up. He has been trying hard to increase his strength. If these pills do exactly what he thinks they do, that would be awesome!

DING!

Lord Yanwang: I shall also lead my fellow colleagues in purgatory and send out some Red Envelopes as an apology to Chen.

Chen was already more than happy when he received Erlang’s pills and didn’t expect any more. Following Lord Yanwang’s lead, Ox-head and Horse-face, both Black and White of Impermanence, along with many other residents of Purgatory sent out Red Envelopes into the group as well.

”I tap! I tap! I tap tap tap!” Chen’s fingers kept tapping fast on his phone as he tried his best to get more Red Envelopes.

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Black Impermanence’s Red Envelope. Received one Nightstalker outfit. Already stored in your treasure chest!]

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired Ox-head’s Red Envelope. Received 10 Unholy Spirit Pills. Already stored in your treasure chest!]

DING!

[Congratulations! Acquired White Impermanence Red Envelope. Received one Art of Disguise. Already stored in your treasure chest!]

”Shit! Three in a row! I actually got three in a row! This is too freaking awesome!” Chen jumped in joy and hit his head in the car. What he didn’t expect afterward was that Shennong had also sent some Red Envelopes into the group as well.