Otherworldly Evil Monarch

(Monday’s regular Chapter.)

“Why are you reacting so swiftly and decisively? Your father learnt a great deal there ah!” Jun Mo Xie had always been quite amazed with the fatty’s father. When the big man was overseeing the command of his guards, all enemies were sure to die. But his father was going to take charge of a different position now, and Tang Yuan could soon get his job some day!

“Amazing? This is really distressing, third young master, my father and my grandfather were serious about this…. They are going to start training me. They want me to start at the base level and once I’ve master this level and have cultivated myself, then my father will chose an appropriate time and will redeploy my position. I’ll keep rolling from one department to the other, and finally I’ll have to inherit my father’s seat, in time. Do you understand?” Fatty’s face was hanging from his body like a dried out melon.

“In other words, you will become the head of the Tang Family one day?” Jun Mo Xie stared blankly at this amusing fatty in disbelief. Head of a family? Master of one of the biggest family’s of the Tian Xiang Empire? Who’s going to believe this ah?

“Well, ah, I don’t know where that old man popped out of, but he said that he’s an old friend of my grandfather from forty years ago…” the fatty continued: “Four damn decades and he hasn’t written a single letter, and now that the Tang Family is on the rise, he’s suddenly here to talk friendship?! What kind of a friend is he? But Grandpa was quite happy about it.”

“Stop! How’s that relevant to you?” Jun Mo Xie was beginning to get another headache now. This fatty just keeps jumping discussions… he doesn’t make any sense logically….what is wrong with him?

“How’s this irrelevant huh? After that old man waltzed in, he picked out Tang Gun, Tang Bao and Tang Guo and tested them out for Sky Xuan potential. After he was done with the three of them, he told my grandfather that the three of them have potential to enter into the Sky Xuan level and that he’ll take them as apprentices. He also promised that he’ll train them into the Earth Xuan in less than a decade…. My grandfather was so happy that he took the offer saying that he is ‘the proud grandfather of four grandchildren’…..” Tang Yuan sighed: “Do you understand it now?”

“I still didn’t get it. All I could make out was that the Tang Family will probably have three Earth Xuans in less than a decade, which can only be a good thing for the family, but what’s this have to do with your side of the story? What are you trying to say?” Jun Mo Xie was looking at his friend blankly.

“Third young master… ah, you’re usually so clever… why are you acting so stupid today?! The three elder brothers of mine are going after their master, so what happens to the family now? Someone will have to inherit the responsibility? And am I not the only one remaining?”

“Families like our… whether big or small, have one thing in common: the person who is in-charge of the family must make sure that the family keeps growing; in order to ensure that, the leader of the family must train suitable candidates, men and women, and then turn them into loyal followers. During this period, the old generation, which is already loyal to the family, helps out and trains these people into successful Xuan experts! Then, they in-turn train the next generation, and cultivate their powers, and this keeps happening from one generation to the next…. Until the family is gradually entrenched into the roots of the empire, so much so that even the royal family doesn’t provoke these super-families; and all this is done so we can light incense sticks in front of the portraits of the ancestors!”

“All such families are inevitably struggling in that direction.”

“And me, I’m not even remotely affected by such things…. Do you understand my pain now?” Tang Yuan sighed.

“I don’t understand a damn thing, you fat fart!” Jun Mo Xie replied contemptuously: “Your grandfather is training you to be the head of the family, and you’ll get all the glories of life! How’s that related to those three? They have talent for cultivation, and isn’t that going to help you in the future? So basically, you’re just trying to show off, right? You know how much struggle is there inside a family for the position of the family’s head…. Brother’s wage wars against each other… they fight…. and sometimes the family breaks up in discord… you’re getting all of it, and without the slightest of struggle!”

“I do not want any of it; I do not want to be a minister! How many times do you want me to say it?!” the fatty cried out in anger: “I’m not showing off! I don’t want the responsibility of bureaucracy! Traps and deception at every step… do you think that I’m cut out for this? Or even good enough to endure it? I do not have any of those skills… I just want a free and leisurely life…. I just want to be an unaffected dandy! I’ve never wanted to shoulder these responsibilities! Do you understand?” the fatty’s saliva was sprouting out in all directions as the fatty vented out his anger.

“You don’t want to be a minister, you don’t want to be the head of the family, and you don’t any responsibilities…. Then what do you want to do with your life?” Jun Mo Xie frowned.

“Third young master ah, I don’t mind when other people ask this, but you’re not other people…. you’re my confidant….You know me, you know what makes your brother happy, right?!” Tang Yuan raised his gaze, and it seemed as if looking at his imaginary future: “Brother, I only want money; the sound of other people’s gold and silver falling into my pocket is what makes me happy…. Really happy.”

Jun Mo Xie was silent for the next five seconds. What kind of a person is he… why am I friends with him? Jun Mo Xie must have been his soulmate…. But not me…. Although I am Jun Mo Xie… but I’m not really Jun Mo Xie….. ah.

“I just want to do business, that’s my favorite thing in life ah. My family has a business, and I just want to inherit that. I want to overtake that business, and once I’ve done that, I’ll turn it into the biggest business house of the entire continent!” Tang Yuan was waving his thick arms at this point, which were even wider than Jun Mo Xie’s thighs.

“That’s easier said than done. You must try to convince your father of this first.” Jun Mo Xie was feeling a bit strange. As far as he could tell, the fatty would make a formidable business man, in fact, that was the only thing that he’d be good at! But fatty’s father wouldn’t understand it, let alone endorse it!

“Really….?” It seemed as if Tang Yuan was about to start crying again, but he couldn’t find the tears this time. He took off his robe and revealed his upper body. He turned about to show his backbone to his friend, while his face had turned red with anger and humiliation.

“See, third young master, this was the result of convincing my father….” Tang Yuan sighed as he showed his back to Jun Mo Xie.

“Well….. painful.” Jun Mo Xie was stunned to see that the Fatty’s back was dyed purple with almost a dozen bruise marks.

“… and look at this.” The Fatty turned around and pointed to his belly. There were five or six foot marks on his fat belly. Then he put on his robes again and stated bitterly: “I will not show you my ass, but that’s much worse off…. I can barely take a dump.”

“You’ve been beaten up like cattle, ah!” Jun Mo Xie was dumbstruck. “It seems that you can’t do anything about this, so you might as well not try…. Since your father is already clearing your way to the top, I believe that you won’t have many issues, and you’ll be able to cope with the pressure quite easily. Indeed, even if I was willing to find a solution for you, I don’t think I’d be able to do much; no matter what we think, your father will not listen to any of it. I advise that you honestly try to become a minister for now, and then succeed him to his seat for now.”

Jun Mo Xie was silent all of a sudden. What kind of heartless acts are people willing to do for power… he didn’t even go easy on his own son…. Tang Yuan is being forced to reap where he hasn’t sown… he’s obviously going to be very reluctant about it.

But what kind of a man is his father?

Is he even more evil than me? Would I have been able to do something like this?

“I’m not going to do that! I would rather die!” Tang Yuan stood up vehemently, and raised his hand to his chest as he chanted his vow with a firm look is his eyes: “I will not take over the house master’s seat; I will not become a minister; in this life, I will only make money!”

“Plop….” Jun Mo Xie stared blankly as the chair which was previously glued to the fatty’s buttocks, finally dropped to the floor. He had never seen a clown like this one before; not in this world, nor in the previous one.

“I won’t stray from my ideals, and all of my old man’s possession and incentives will not deviate me from my path!” the fatty looked quite resolute: “And I will fool that eunuch, Zhu Lao.”

“Eunuch Zhao Lao?” an idea popped up into Jun Mo Xie’s mind as he said the word: Tang Yuan would make a very good businessman, but his family will not allow him to do business. But if I helped him out, then we could start a partnership together… and we could amass a fortune over time?!

With this thought in mind, Jun Mo Xie suddenly looked at Tang Yuan again, almost as if he was staring at a priceless commodity.

“What are you doing…. Why are you eyeing me like that? I, I… I’m a guy…. Stay away from me!” the fatty seemed afraid and backed off a few steps.

“ah…….” Jun Mo Xie’s internal organs were sent tumbling at the thought, and he barely managed to control his vomit.

“Well, I don’t want to listen to more of your crap; you said that you’ll fool that eunuch Zhu Lao, how?” Jun Mo Xie rolled his eyes. Eunuch Zhu Lao was quite close to the Emperor, which is why Jun Mo Xie estimated that the man must be an expert.

Eunuch Zhu Lao’s given name was Zhu Zhu Zhu, which is quite funny, but the man is known to people like Jun Zhan Tian and Dugu Wudi, and visits them quite often. Thus, it can only be estimated that the man must be quite an expert himself, and was certainly not an ordinary man.

“That castrated old fool is in-charge of checking the body of the eunuchs, and is known to play around with them a lot.” Fatty grimaced: “Brother, even though my body is a little fat, but I’m perfectly healthy, and I don’t have any diseases, so I’ll pass for sure… that is my main concern.”

The Fatty patted his belly with a sense of pride: “I heard that the other guy, Mu Rong Qian Jun’s medical examination was very brutal, and that old fool twisted his penis for a long time….. Mu Rong Qian Jun was pale after the examination… in fact, he was seen walking wide-legged for the next two weeks….” The Fatty seemed to be deriving entertainment from the rumor.

“Are you still feeling good about this? I think you should immediately start practicing walking like that.” Jun Mo Xie burst into laughter again, as he funnily stared at the fat meatball, trying to imagine how he’d look in the situation.

“Yes, yes, third master, you have to help me, I don’t want to walk wide legged.” Tang Yuan immediately realized the gravity of his own impending fate.

“Medical examination…. Will he check your body naked?” Jun Mo Xie thought for a while, and came up with an idea. He extended his finger and made a poking gesture: “Will he also check your back side?”