The Fantastic Little Farmer

Chapter 255: Chapter 255: Add WeChat to Argue?

The two women behind them continued chatting about shameless things. Since they were by the river and no one was passing by at the moment, they were completely unbridled. Their graphic descriptions sounded almost like a sex education class for the two hiding beneath them.

Zhang Yun listened with great relish, while Xiuxun’s face burned bright red.

In reality, the women only spent a few minutes washing vegetables. But perhaps because the topic was so tantalizing, it felt like an eternity to both Zhang Yun and Xiuxun.

”Is there anyone else around?” Xiuxun whispered only after the women had crossed the wooden bridge and left.

”There shouldn’t be. It’s already dark.”

”Then aren’t you going to get up?”

”Uh, you’re pressing down on me.”

Xiuxun blushed, wondering what he meant by her pressing down on him when he was clearly poking her...

”I don’t have the strength,” she said.

Maintaining this leaning posture while listening to such draining topics, all while being poked... Her legs really did feel a bit like jelly.

Zhang Yun flexed his waist and legs, supporting her as they both stood up straight.

”W-wait a minute...” Xiuxun leaned against Zhang Yun with one hand, while using the other to dab some river water on her cheeks, trying to snap herself out of it.

”If you don’t have the strength, then you don’t have the strength,” Zhang Yun said softly.

With a swift heave, he tossed her up slightly, preparing to carry her by cradling her bottom with his forearms like one would a child.

THUD!

Xiuxun’s head smashed right into the wooden planks of the bridge above. She cried out in pain but quickly stifled the sound, afraid of being overheard.

”Sorry, sorry...”

Zhang Yun was speechless at his own clumsiness. He had completely forgotten they were under a low bridge. Her body slid back down against his, so he simply wrapped an arm around her and guided her out to the riverbank.

As soon as he let go, Xiuxun collapsed onto the grassy bank. She stared at him with a mix of resentment and exasperation, rubbing her throbbing head.

”Ahem... I really didn’t expect that to happen...”

Zhang Yun emptied the water from the buckets and set them aside. ”Let me feel it. Let’s see if there’s a bump...”

”I’m fine now.” Xiuxun managed a smile. She had been weak in the knees, but the sharp pain had instantly cleared her head. ”It’s dark now. You head back first; let’s not walk together.”

Even though walking together openly wouldn’t technically be a problem, she felt a guilty conscience. She dreaded the thought of someone seeing them together, especially with both of their pants soaking wet.

Zhang Yun immediately replied, ”It’s dark out. Of course you should go first. I’ll walk behind and keep you company.”

Xiuxun froze for a moment.

They weren’t deep in the mountains or out in the wilderness; the village was just up ahead. Even if it was dark, it wasn’t a big deal. Yet, Zhang Yun’s words made her heart skip a beat.

No man had ever cared for her like this before. It was just a small gesture, but the moment he said he would walk behind her, she felt an overwhelming sense of security.

”Okay,” Xiuxun said simply. After resting a bit longer, she regained enough strength to stand and picked up the carrying pole with the buckets. ”Ah, my ladle washed away...”

”...”

Zhang Yun had reacted as fast as he could earlier—rushing to catch her while simultaneously grabbing the pole and hooking the buckets. The ladle inside must have floated out when they fell and drifted away with the current.

”Ming Tian, I’ll get you a ladle!”

”It’s fine, I just noticed it. I’m leaving!” Xiuxun rolled her eyes slightly and muttered, ”What do you mean you’ll give me a ladle?”

Zhang Yun was a bit confused. Her ladle washed away, so what was wrong with getting her a ladle Ming Tian? It wouldn’t be convenient to deliver one to her house later tonight, after all.

He thought, ”I’ll give you a ladle... Ah, so that was it. Damn homophonic puns.”

It reminded him of a dirty joke about a ladle. The story went that Tang Bohu bet his friends he could sleep with a certain chaste widow. No one believed him. One rainy day, he passed by the widow’s house and asked to shelter in her woodshed. She agreed. He then asked for a *ladle* to scoop some drinking water. When night fell and the rain hadn’t stopped, he asked if he could *sleep* in the shed, and she agreed to that as well.

The next morning, right before leaving, Tang Bohu went and shaved the widow’s pet *beaver* bald!

At noon, while Tang Bohu was sipping tea with his friends, the widow stormed up to the door and cursed, ”Tang Bohu, get out here! I kindly took you in from the rain yesterday. You wanted a *ladle* and I gave you a *ladle*, you wanted to *sleep* and I let you *sleep*. But why did you have to shave my *beaver* before you left?!”

Zhang Yun trailed behind Xiuxun, keeping a safe distance so no one would see them walking together.

Only after watching her enter her courtyard from afar did he continue on his way home.

”You again?”

Stepping inside, Zhang Yun’s temper immediately flared upon seeing Li Jin in the living room, being entertained by his dad.

Zhang Fu stood up helplessly. ”I’m going to cook. You two talk.”

As he walked out, he whispered a quick warning to his son. ”He’s being quite polite, so don’t lose your temper.”

The incident where Li Bing had brought a mob to their door was still fresh in Zhang Fu’s mind. Thankfully, it was dark out now and no one had seen Li Jin arrive, otherwise they would have attracted another crowd of nosy onlookers.

Zhang Yun took a deep breath, deciding to give his dad some face.

”Z-Zhang Yun,” Li Jin stammered, still a bit nervous at the sight of him. He hurriedly explained, ”I don’t mean any harm. I’m just here to deliver a message...”

Zhang Yun rubbed his temples. ”Mr. Li, didn’t you say your daughter wouldn’t bother me anymore?”

”Yes. But it’s not Cuicui this time. It’s Cuicui’s cousin...”

Zhang Yun had just sat down and nearly tumbled off his stool. A cousin now?!

Li Cuicui had mentioned her the other day, and Li Jin had brought her up last time, too. Was this the cousin, Li KK?

Looking utterly dead inside, Zhang Yun sighed. ”Spit it out. What’s the deal with this cousin, and what’s the message? I’m not keeping you for dinner, so hurry up and leave once you’re done!”

Looking just as helpless, Li Jin pulled out a slip of paper. ”This is Cuicui’s cousin’s WeChat ID. She says she admires you greatly and wants to add you on WeChat...”

”Have I ever met her?”

”Probably... no.”

”Do I even know her?”

”Likely... not.”

”Then do you really think she’s adding my WeChat out of ’admiration’?” Zhang Yun snapped.

Li Jin smiled bitterly. ”I also think she just wants to stand up for Cuicui, but...”

Zhang Yun snatched the slip of paper. ”So you think I should still add her?”

”My hands are tied. My niece is a good person, but she’s incredibly stubborn. If you don’t add her, I’m afraid she’ll march right up to your door to pick a fight.”

Zhang Yun let out a dry laugh. ”So, since I’m going to have to argue with her eventually, I might as well do it over the phone?”

”I apologize in advance. I really have no other choice. Cuicui started all this, and I don’t want any more trouble. Please accept this as an apology!” Li Jin pulled three hundred yuan out of his pocket.

”...”

Seeing the man like this, Zhang Yun felt a twinge of pity. Li Jin was around his father’s age, after all; just another middle-aged man struggling through life. ”Keep your money, Mr. Li. I’ll add her, okay? I’m only doing this out of respect for you. I won’t argue with her. It’s just over the phone anyway, so I won’t get mad. How about that? Let’s just quietly brush this under the rug.”

”Thank you, thank you! You truly have the heart of a saint.” Despite expressing his gratitude, Li Jin didn’t leave.

Resigned, Zhang Yun searched for the ID and sent a friend request right in front of him. ”Did I type it right? Are you satisfied now? She’ll definitely accept it.”

”Thank you, thank you!” Finally breathing a sigh of relief, Li Jin left the house.

”What was that all about?” Zhang Fu immediately peeked out from the kitchen.

”My lucky stars with women!” Zhang Yun didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ”Dad, weren’t you supposed to be cooking? Have you been eavesdropping this whole time?”

At that moment, the cousin accepted his WeChat request.

”Zhang Yun, I know who you are.”