Saving The Monster Race Starts With Breeding The Elf Village

Luca couldn’t help but smile as he looked around the clearing. Everywhere he saw, elves were laughing and playing, inhaling helium and making ridiculous squeaky noises to amuse the children.

He exhaled softly, his chest feeling warm. It was one of those rare, peaceful moments—where everyone was just happy.

Standing beside him, Nyx folded her arms and tilted her head.

”You sure they’re not going to die from all that?” She asked flatly. ”Like...what if it’s poisonous or something?”

Luca chuckled. ”No, no.” He said reassuringly. ”As long as they only take in small amounts, it’s completely harmless. I’m keeping an eye on them, so don’t worry.”

He then looked at her and curiously asked,

”What about you Nyx? Are you not going to try it out?”

”I’m not gonna risk it, hero.” Nyx said quickly, mimicking his earlier tone. ”What if it became permanent? What if my voice stayed like that forever?”

She dropped her voice to a dramatic whisper as she added,

”Imagine me in bed with you, moaning in that squeaky rat voice. It would completely ruin the mood for both of us. I’d rather die than subject either of us to that.”

Luca blinked, his grin spreading wider.

”Actually.” He said, his tone teasing. ”I think that’d be quite interesting. A completely new kind of experience, don’t you think?”

”Really?” Nyx said before mischievously saying, ”I don’t know if that’s true since I would basically sound like a little girl if I were to have that voice. And unless you want me to moan like a child and you’re into that...”

”...I don’t mind going along with it that as perverted as it might be.”

Luca was caught off guard by the new idea she put into her head and was about to vehemently deny it—when he noticed Leona quietly trying to slip away from the crowd, still pink-faced from her earlier humiliation.

”Hey, Leona.” He called, turning toward her. ”Can you just wait second—I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Leona froze mid-step. ”...What is it?”

He crossed his arms, his smile half-serious.

”I’v been wondering about this for a while, but why exactly did you inhale the helium in the first place?”

”I mean, if you knew what it did, sure, I’d get it. But you didn’t. So...what made you suddenly decide to stick the nozzle in your mouth?”

Nyx turned too, equally curious. ”Yes, Leona, I was wondering the same thing. What possessed you to suck some random gas, of all things?”

Under both their gazes, Leona’s expression stiffened. Her usual commanding composure faltered as she fidgeted with her sleeves.

”I...I just thought that...”

Luca tilted his head. ”That...?”

Leona’s cheeks went bright red as she finally said,

”That maybe...if I inhaled some helium...I might float.”

Luca shook his head in a startled manner.

”Wait. You...what?”

Leona cleared her throat, still not looking at them.

”I just thought—since the balloons float when they’re filled with helium, maybe if I...inhaled it...at least my head would float a little bit.”

”It was just curiosity! That’s all!”

There was silence.

Then Luca blinked and burst into laughter.

”Wait—wait, you what?!” He doubled over, laughing uncontrollably. ”You actually thought your head would float?! That’s something Lulu would do!”

”W-What?!” Leona’s face flared crimson. ”How dare you compare me to her!”

”I was just—just experimenting and I—!”

But then she realised no matter what she said it would sound rather silly.

So, instead she ignored both of them who were smirking at her and walked away.

And while thinking how different she was from usual as she walked away in a hurry, he turned to Nyx.

”Was that really Leona?” He asked, incredulous. ”I mean, that’s not something Leona would do right? It doesn’t make any sense at all.”

Nyx, however, smiled softly.

”Actually...it makes perfect sense, Hero,” She said quietly, her voice warm. ”After all, that was the Leona I remember before everything changed. She used to be silly like that. Curious. Wild. Free.”

Luca looked at her curiously.

”That’s also where Lulu gets it from—her spirit, her brightness, her lack of restraint. Leona was just like her once. And today...you somehow brought that part of her back.”

She smiled faintly, gazing toward her sister who was trying to hide from their sight.

”I never thought I’d see that side of my sister again.”

Luca smiled faintly. ”Guess I have that effect on people.”

”You really do.” Nyx said quietly. ”And honestly...that gives me hope. Maybe one day, I’ll get to see my real sister again.”

”You most definitely will.”

He said sincerely. Then his expression shifted.

”Speaking of which, about those journals you sent me this morning, there’s something I wanted to ask—”

But he couldn’t finish, as he was suddenly interrupted by a loud, furious voice.

”WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL OF YOU DOING?!”

Everyone turned. The laughter vanished instantly as Julius stormed into the clearing, flanked by a group of male elves wearing matching scowls.

”You should all be ashamed!” He shouted, pointing dramatically. ”Not only are you eating chicken meat, but now you’re parading the chickens around like you’re honoring them, when in truth, you’re just mocking them before you slaughter them!”

Luca rubbed his temples. ”Oh, here we go again...”

Julius marched closer, his voice growing louder.

”This is a disgrace! You’ve betrayed the sanctity of life! You—”

But just as she was about rant on, a sudden grrrrrrrrrrr interrupted him.

Everyone froze.

Julius blinked and turned around, only to see it was Issac, his disciple who was clutching his stomach, a loud rumbling sound escaping him.

”Uh—sorry, Master.” He said sheepishly. ”My stomach’s...making noises. I can’t hold it.”

Julius clenched his fists. ”Ugh! Fine, fine, just control yourself!” He turned back to continue. ”As I was saying—”

Another grrrrrrrrrr echoed. This time, it was a different elf.

But before he could even say anything, another rumbling sound came from the elf beside him.

Grrrrrrrrrr!

”Oh, for crying out loud!” Julius yelled. ”What is wrong with all of you?!”

”My stomach hurts!” One of them cried. ”It’s been rumbling for a while now!”

”Mine too!” Another added, groaning. ”Feels like something’s moving in there!”

Within seconds, every single male elf was clutching their stomachs, groaning in pain and confusion.

”Are you all serious right now?” Julius barked, red-faced. ”Can’t you even hold your bowels while I’m making an important speech?!”

One of the male elves whimpered. ”We’re trying, boss! But it’s...it’s moving!”

”Moving?!” Julius snapped.

Then, mid-complaint, his own stomach let out the loudest GRRRRGRGRRRGHHH of them all.

He froze, eyes wide. ”Wha—what the hell was that?”

He then doubled over, clutching his stomach as the pain suddenly hit him like a hammer.

”It feels like my insides are...are doing backflips!” He groaned. ”What’s happening to me?!”

And just like Julius, one of the men doubled over.

”I’ve been feeling sick for a while.” He gasped. ”Thought it was just me—but now it’s getting worse—”

”Me too! My stomach—it’s like something’s tearing my stomach from the inside—”

”It’s pricking—pinning—burning—”

Hearing all these complains and seeing all the male elves moan in pain like they were about to give birth, Julius was confused about what going.

But that only lasted for a moment until he realised something and immedietly whirled towards Luca, his eyes burning with rage.

”This is your fault!” He shouted. ”This is what I warned you about! The chicken is poison! Elves can’t eat it! Look at us—we’re all sick! We’re dying!”

Luca raised both hands. ”Julius—”

But Julius wasn’t listening.

He clutched his stomach tighter, face twisted in pain and fury.

”This is proof!” He roared. ”Proof that meat is forbidden! Proof that the old ways must be protected! We—”

But before he could continue his dramatic sermon, one of the female elves crossed her arms and called out.

”Poison? Don’t be ridiculous! There’s nothing wrong with chicken!”

”Exactly! We all ate the same thing, and we feel amazing!”

”Yeah!” Said a third, grinning smugly. ”I’ve never felt this full and satisfied in my life! I could probably lift a log right now!”

One even smirked and added teasingly.

”Maybe you guys ate something else. Or maybe you’re just weak! Probably ate some weird forest berries or dirt and now you’re blaming the poor chicken.”

That made Julius snap.

”How dare you!” He shouted. ”Don’t you insult me when I’m suffering!”

”Oh, I’ll insult you all I want.” The female elf shot back. ”You’ve been whining since morning! Maybe your stomach’s just allergic to your own ego.”

The others snickered, and Lulu marched forward with her fists on her hips.

”That’s enough, old man! You be quiet!” She said, glaring at Julius. ”Even though I still don’t completely agree with eating chicken, I do know how amazing it tastes, and if you dare say anything bad about chicken again, I’ll slap your face myself!”

Even the chickens floating in the air started clucking loudly, almost as if they were offended by Julius’s accusation.

”See?!” Lulu pointed at them. ”Even they’re mad at you! You’ve insulted their dignity!”

Julius, red in the face and sweating, shouted in frustration,

”Then why are we the only ones feeling this way?! Why does my stomach feel like it’s exploding?! We didn’t eat anything else this morning! The only thing we had in common was your damn chicken!”

”If it’s not the chicken, then what is it?!”

That was when Luca finally sighed and looked at them with an almost apologetic, yet very suspiciously amused, smile.

”Alright, alright, calm down. I think...I might know what’s going on.”

All eyes turned to him.

”Actually.” He began carefully. ”Julius is right—it is the chicken that’s causing your problem.”

A collective gasp came from the female elves.

”Wait, what?!”

Julius pointed at him triumphantly. ”I knew it!”

But Luca quickly raised a finger.

”Hold on. Before you all panic—don’t worry. It’s not going to affect any of you ladies. You’re completely safe.”

The women blinked in confusion, while the men yelled through their pain.

”What are you talking about?!” One demanded. ”What did you do to us, damn it?!”

”Yeah!” Another groaned. ”My stomach feels like it’s doing a war dance!”

”Explain yourself, Hero!” Julius snarled, barely managing to stand.

Luca raised his hands innocently, though his grin didn’t help his case.

”Alright, alright, calm down. I’ll explain. First of all, I owe you all an apology. This is entirely my fault.”

He gave a polite little bow.

”I don’t want your apology!” Julius snapped. ”Just tell us what you did to us! Why does my stomach feel like—”

He stopped abruptly, clutching his rear with a horrified expression, which made several of the female elves snicker.

Luca coughed into his hand, trying not to laugh.

”Alright, fine...I’ll tell you the truth. The thing is when I was preparing the chicken earlier, I made a special batch for...certain humans back on the continent.”

”You know, the ones I don’t particularly like. I wasn’t planning to kill them—just prank them a little.”

”Prank them?” Nyx tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. ”What kind of prank involves food?”

Luca scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

”See, I didn’t want to kill anyone, but I wanted to, uh...leave a memorable taste. So I mixed something into the batter.”

Julius’s eye twitched. ”What did you mix?”

Luca hesitated before finally saying,

”I mixed in...animal poop.”

A dead silence fell over the clearing.

Julius squinted his eyes in disbelief.

”I-I’m sorry. What?”

Luca sighed. ”Yes. Poop. And not just one sort of poop. But excretions of all kind that I could find in the forest.”

”Bird poop, rat poop, rabbit poop, fox poop—”

”STOP!” Julius yelled, but Luca went on casually.

”—and even chicken poop! Freshly collected from Lulu’s backyard, mind you. I mixed it all into the batter for that prank batch.”

Gasps of horror erupted, followed by disgusted groans from the men.

”And you gave us that batch?!” Julius shouted, turning green.

”By accident.” Luca nodded apologetically. ”I mixed up the trays. The one I meant for the humans was accidentally served to you. So technically, you all just ate...”

He cleared his throat.

”...Fried Chicken with a Side of Shit...”

”...quite a unique delicacy I might say.”