Counterfeit Hero

Chapter 5 - Revised: Chapter Five Delicate Tofu

At this moment, the forward base of the Gazalin Empire Army was in chaos. The patrol sentries around were quickly converging on the base.

Seize the moment, or lose it forever.

Fatty’s hands moved like lasers, operating the mecha with ten moves per second to dash north at high speed.

They were in luck. They encountered a patrol team heading towards the base at the edge of the jungle. Before this patrol team, consisting of two Imperial Single-Person Mecha and a few soldiers, could spot them, Fatty swiftly turned around, pretending to be heading to the base.

The patrol team was fooled. They thought this mecha, desperately heading to the base, was also part of the base’s patrol. They almost brushed past Fatty without stopping. In reality, if they had checked this slightly trembling mecha, they would have discovered a trembling, lecherous Fatty inside.

Fatty struggled to control his shaking hands, making himself move away without arousing suspicion. Soon, he veered north at a small slope. Ten minutes later, seeing no one around and with the mecha radar showing no enemy mechas nearby, Fatty lowered the other six mechanical legs. Twenty minutes later, they finally crossed the nearly thirty kilometers wide plain and entered the continuous jungle under the northern mountains.

After sprinting deep into the jungle, the mecha stopped. Fatty lay in the cockpit, exhausted and resting for a while before stepping out. On the grassland outside the cabin, two beautiful female soldiers were hugging each other. The joy of escaping death made the two female soldiers cry and cheer at the same time. Fatty rushed over without hesitation, wearing a silly grin, jumping and trying to join the two female soldiers in their celebration with great lewdness.

Two fierce glares stopped Fatty in his tracks. He turned around cheerfully without any sense of embarrassment, jumping and cheering as if that was his intention all along.

”Pfft.” The two little white doves, still with tears in their eyes, couldn’t help but laugh. ”Fatty!” they laughed and cursed.

Their experiences over the past few days made them feel an unspeakable closeness to this lecherous Fatty who saved them. The shared hardships revealed that this Fatty was indeed quite capable, with some traits that made him annoyingly lovable. His whimsical thoughts left people unsure whether to laugh or cry.

The sky slowly brightened.

The first rays of morning sun appeared on the horizon, painting the clouds with vibrant red hues, like fire, like blood.

The fresh forest air and the crisp bird calls made it feel like a fairyland.

Tian Xingjian fell asleep. The back and forth struggles throughout the night had left him extremely tired, and his long-tense mood completely relaxed at this moment. He leaned against a tree and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Nia and Meiduo sat beside him, talking softly, occasionally swatting away the mosquitoes buzzing around Fatty.

When Fatty woke from his dream, the two female soldiers were no longer beside him. The mecha still stood silently where it was, with no signs of having moved. Sunlight filtered through the canopy, making the forest’s greenery unusually vivid and fresh, like a fairy-tale world.

Fatty tilted his head slightly, catching a faint sound amidst the crisp bird calls and insect chirps.

The sound of spring water and laughter.

He stood up and walked towards the source of the sound.

Stepping on the thick fallen branches and leaves, bending under the vines strung between trees, sliding down a small slope covered with grass and wildflowers, the sound grew clearer. It was Nia and Meiduo’s voices, accompanied by the sound of splashing water, so joyful and pleasant.

Rounding a few large trees blocking his view, a beautiful small lake appeared before Tian Xingjian.

What an enchanting lake this was.

So clear it was devoid of any impurities, the lake bottom displayed various colors: deep blue, light green, golden yellow. A few naturally fallen tree trunks lay quietly at the bottom, intersecting. Many colorful fish swam around the trunks.

Meiduo and Nia were bathing in this clear lake.

Their alluring curves were like mermaids in the lake, half submerged in the water, the other half exposed to the cool morning air. Shimmering water droplets rolled off their tender bodies, their skin so translucent you could see the blue veins, thin as cicada wings, snowy white, so bright and smooth like silk.

Beautiful things share a certain commonality. Their holy bodies perfectly blended into this fairy-tale lake.

Fatty was unwilling to profane this mesmerizing scene. He suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu, as if he had experienced this moment in a dream, or in a past life. This scene felt so familiar, a mysterious resonance.

Shaking his head quickly, Fatty felt ashamed for his brief distraction in front of the beautiful bodies.

”Help! Mouse! There’s a mouse!” This disgraceful fellow, with a face of terror, rushed out, followed by two screams. Fatty did a somersault and plunged into the water.

Rolling and crawling towards the two infinitely tempting bodies, Fatty’s face wobbled with excitement, his eyes shining, drool dripping. The two female soldiers only had time to instinctively cover their private parts, but Fatty, moving rapidly, had already rushed over. This wretch dove into Meiduo’s arms with his head, while his other hand wrapped around Nia’s perky butt, taking advantage of the rare opportunity while shouting like a frightened child: ”Mouse, a mouse is chasing me!”

”Smack!”

”Pa!”

Two slaps landed almost simultaneously on Fatty’s face, one from the left and one from the right.

With a mix of shame and anger, Meiduo and Nia started raining fists and kicks on him, not caring about the scene that exposed their bodies.

Being pummeled by the two girls, with fists flying around him and the sight of their breasts bouncing with their movements, the thick-skinned Fatty kept yelping ”Ouch, ouch,” but he was delighted inside.

When the three of them returned to the forest, Fatty carried a few fish he caught from the lake and walked ahead, acting as if nothing had happened. As if he wasn’t the one who had just been caught peeping and beaten up. The two female soldiers blushed and exchanged a look, quickly averting their eyes, feeling both ashamed and annoyed with an added hint of a peculiar feeling. ”God, how can there be such an infuriating fat jerk under the heavens?”

After eating some fish, the three of them continued on their journey. According to the mecha radar, there were no signs of Gazalin Empire mecha activity in the surrounding area. This was to be expected, as the northern regions were all mountainous, unlike the immigrant planets with agricultural population distribution like ancient Earth. These areas were completely deserted.

Material and economic support needed for space warfare are impossible to achieve outside the cities. Waging guerrilla warfare on the planet’s surface is a death trap. If all the cities on the planet are entirely controlled by the enemy, with no material supplies, ammunition replenishments, or personnel reinforcements, not to mention aerial strikes and air mobility, running around on the ground with only human legs or mecha is useless. How can you outrun aerial units with superior reconnaissance capabilities? In the areas around systematically defended cities, any guerrilla unit approaching would be doomed. Without hitting the cities, there’s no point to the guerrillas. So, guerrilla warfare from ancient wars has become tactics for some space pirates.

Carefully choosing their route, Tian Xingjian maneuvered the mecha through the forest, winding and weaving. After some modifications, this single soldier mecha, which already had excellent off-road capabilities, now possessed even stronger abilities for traversing the wild. Places that were previously unreachable with just two mechanical legs were now easily navigable with the help of an additional six mechanical legs and jet propulsion devices.

After crossing several mountain ranges to the north, Tian Xingjian, assured that he had sufficiently avoided the Gazalin Empire’s massive transport ship landing base, started heading east.

With the skills acquired from the Reconnaissance Soldier Training Camp and his naturally sharp instincts, Tian Xingjian miraculously led Meiduo and Nia through several conflict areas over the next two weeks, practically taking a scenic route spanning thousands of kilometers.

When the large compressed solid energy blocks stored in the mecha were nearly depleted, the three of them reached the outskirts of the Three Lakes Plain, the location of Miloke Star’s capital, Gallipalan.

*************

Due to insufficient forces, the Gazalin Empire did not attack Gallipalan, which had the strongest defenses. They only stationed defensive troops a few hundred kilometers outside the Three Lakes Basin.

Up ahead was the Federation’s defensive zone. To avoid being shot by Federation soldiers, Fatty, dressed in Imperial Army uniform, once again started stripping without warning. This time, he kept his underwear on.

The two female soldiers had lost all faith in this shameless jerk. Though they tried hard to seem indifferent, Fatty’s sleazy act of covering himself, as if showing his flesh would be a great loss, left Meiduo and Nia feeling utterly exasperated and murderous.

A patrol team from the Leray Federation Army’s 109 Division, stationed outside the basin, soon noticed the strange trio led by an almost naked Fatty only in his underwear.

Though he had removed his uniform, Fatty’s underwear was still standard issue from the Gazalin Empire military, bearing the black Angry Bear emblem.

As the Federation patrol soldiers approached cautiously, Fatty, holding a mechanic’s robotic arm, didn’t notice Meiduo and Nia secretly giving him a hard time from behind.

From afar, to avoid any friendly fire, Fatty raised his hands high. Nia, holding her modified gun, posed as if she were escorting him.

In front of the watchful Federation soldiers’ guns, Fatty held his hands up, trembling all over, not daring to take a deep breath for fear of any move that might get him shot.

After a whispered conversation with Meiduo, the team leader ordered the soldiers to escort the Imperial soldier captive, Tian Xingjian, back to the camp.

Confused, Tian Xingjian just lowered his hands to explain when an automatic energy rifle poked his back, forcing him to raise his hands again.

No matter how much he glanced back, winking and making faces, the two smiling female soldiers ignored him and only chatted with the Federation squad leader.

Halfway down the road, Fatty grasped the lesson: better to offend a scoundrel than a woman. Karma, he’s getting played.

At the camp, once confirming his identity with a battlefield recorder, Fatty and the two female soldiers were sent on a transport ship to the front-line command in Gallipalan City.

The soldiers of the 109 Division, cruelly withholding a uniform from this multiple-time deserter, let him board the transport ship in just his underwear.

A few dozen minutes later, the mini transport ship landed on the playground of a university in Gallipalan City. This was the Leray Federation Military Academy, one of the three major military academies of the Leray Federation. Due to the war, it had been requisitioned, and all students had been turned into reserve officers. Some were assigned to the Army Armored Division, while others joined the local Space Fleet of the Newton Star System. After suffering a defeat, they withdrew to the Central Leray Star Domain with their fleet.

As soon as he disembarked the transport ship, Fatty was amused. As if prearranged, besides him, there were dozens of other macho men in just their underwear. Fatty was puzzling over it when a major spotted him, came over, and kicked him into the group, cursing, ”What the hell are you looking at? We’ve been assembling for a minute, and you’re just now showing up!”

About to explain, Tian Xingjian was interrupted by an elderly man in a white robe running over, grabbing the mechanical arm Fatty wore and saying to the major, ”You’ve got the wrong person. He’s not here for the selection.” With that, he pulled Fatty away. Seeing his escort had arrived, Fatty kept silent, looking back to see Meiduo and Nia being taken away by some female medics. He sighed and followed the old man towards a building.

He was unaware that at the transport ship’s hatch, a puzzled medic was looking at a few other medics waiting below and saying, ”No one’s here. I searched everywhere. Wasn’t there supposed to be a Fatty?”