Cultivation Chat Group

Ugh! Doudou must have been watching too many unhealthy movies recently.

Just as Song Shuhang was about to compose a 800-word essay denouncing Doudou in his mind, the phone in his pocket rang.

When he looked at it, it was the chat group founder, True Monarch Yellow Mountain, calling him.

Song Shuhang picked it up and said, ”Senior Yellow Mountain, what’s up?”

”Haha, previously I told you that I ordered a fleet of cars for you and Venerable White. Right now, 13 of them have already been sent to a certain underground parking lot near Jiangnan College Town. The rest would be sent in batches within one month. In a while, someone will get in touch with you, and you can head over there to accept them anytime. I have already booked the entire parking lot, you can just leave the cars that are not in use parked there,” said True Monarch Yellow Mountain in an upbeat voice.

Upon hearing this, Song Shuhang’s heart skipped a beat. After getting his license, naturally he’d want a good car. Apart from dreaming of speeding freely under the clear blue sky, men also dreamt of this one important thing—a luxury car. ”No problem, I can go there anytime!”

True Monarch Yellow Mountain lowered his voice and asked, ”Another thing, is Venerable White next to you?”

”Nope, I am on my way home from school,” answered Song Shuhang.

”That’s just the moment to tell you, then. Let me ask you, did you notice that Venerable White’s luck had recently gotten better?” Asked True Monarch Yellow Mountain in a light voice.

”Luck... yeah, it seems that Senior White’s luck had gotten better recently,” nodded Song Shuhang.

For example, at the lucky draw outside the electronic shopping center, he easily won a special prize. And that time when he was making a contract with the ‘ghost spirit’, a corpse flew from a thousand miles away, leaving behind a flying sword and an ancient bronze ring.

Right now, that flying sword was being used by Venerable White as a means of transportation.

”Mm, it has indeed started. You gotta pay attention to your safety, Little Friend Shuhang! When Senior White’s luck gets better, you have to be more careful,” said True Monarch Yellow Mountain.

”Pay attention to my safety? Why?” Asked Song Shuhang doubtfully.

”Let me give you a simple analogy—if a meteorite came crashing down and landed next to Venerable White, and then he cuts it apart to find a lot of materials useful for cultivators who want to refine some good equipment... this is good luck, right?” Asked True Monarch Yellow Mountain.

”Yeah,” nodded Song Shuhang.

”What if the meteorite almost crushed you, who was next to Venerable White, to death? Or what if you got heavily injured by it?” Asked True Monarch Yellow Mountain in a deep voice.

Song Shuhang immediately realized, ”True Monarch, what you mean is... Venerable White’s luck is more often than not accompanied by misfortune?

”That is not the case either, to put it more appropriately, it should be ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’! As long as you are careful, you can obtain quite a good harvest,” True Monarch Yellow Mountain sighed with emotion.

”Alright, I got it,” Song Shuhang nodded his head. Is this the reason why the seniors in the chat group are avoiding Senior White?

”Lastly, there is one more thing. You can consider it advice from a senior’s personal experience,” said True Monarch Yellow Mountain profoundly. ”You should chat more with pretty ladies—for example Soft Feather—in our ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’. Talk to her regularly, keep thinking of her beauty inside that head of yours. Or that Fairy Lychee. She recently came back from overseas after beating up an aboriginal deity that once offended her there. She should be frequently online these days. When you’re free, you should get in contact with her more. She likes to take selfies a lot, so you can see a few of her pretty pictures. Look at them more, and think about her beauty more.”

”What?” Song Shuhang was very confused upon hearing that.

”Nothing, just get in contact with pretty ladies more. Listen to your senior, you won’t go wrong!” True Monarch Yellow Mountain said profoundly once again, ”Ok, that’s all for now. I’m hanging up.”

”Beep beep…” True Monarch Yellow Mountain had hung up.

Song Shuhang held onto his phone, lamenting, ”That’s the thing, I always feel that the seniors in this chat group frequently do not finish saying what they were about to say, leaving me hanging. Why can’t they just make things clearer?”

Doudou, looking down, turned his head around and stared deeply at Song Shuhang. He then silently nodded his head and said, ”It’s nothing, you don’t have to listen to stupid Yellow Mountain. That person is too filthy!”

Song Shuhang: ”…”

***

On another side, the Medicine Master’s multi-storied building.

Venerable White leaned against the white wall, striking all kinds of charming poses. ”Is this okay?”

”Yes yes, this is the pose!” In front of him was a girl in her 20s, wearing a police uniform, holding onto a single-lens reflex camera, discreetly swallowing her saliva.

She was the person in charge of handling Venerable White’s ‘temporary residence permit’, a staff from the subdistrict office.

After taking three shots of Venerable White one after another, she licked her lips and said, ”Give me one last pose, I’ll pick the best of the poses when I’m done for your temporary residence permit!”

”Oh, sure. But is it really necessary to take that many pictures for a temporary residence permit?” Even though Venerable White was confused by it, he still complied, striking a hand-on-forehead cool-looking pose.

”It’s necessary, it’s necessary! I have to make the most perfect temporary residence permit!” The female officer assured him earnestly. She flipped through the pictures in the single-lens reflex camera—there were more than 20 pictures in total.

How regretful, she really wanted to take a few more pictures and even longed to capture the man named ‘Song Bai’ himself in the camera and bring him back with her. He was too handsome! When she gets back, she was definitely going to brag about it to her female colleagues for quite some time.

Song Bai—that was Venerable White’s current name.

Because Venerable White had only a one-character name, ‘White’, it was inconvenient to make an ID. Hence, when Cave Lord Snow Wolf was making identification papers for him, he casually added the last name Song to it.

Reluctant to part after taking the last picture, the female officer left her contact details saying, ”Mr. Song, it would take at most two days for us to send you your temporary residence permit! If you need it urgently, you can contact me anytime, I can expedite it for you!”

”Thank you,” Senior White smiled at the lady.

The female officer blushed carrying her single-lens reflex camera, her heart beating extremely fast. Ultimately, she begrudgingly glanced at Venerable White for a little longer, unwilling to leave Medicine Master’s multi-storied building.

Venerable White heaved a sigh of relief. Throughout the whole process, he carefully controlled his own aura as to avoid releasing his inborn ‘charm’. It was exhausting.

After the female officer left, Venerable White went to the small courtyard and took out a huge box.

Within it, there were the... ‘war trophies’ that he struggled painfully to amass yesterday and this morning. Apart from the large-display color TV, water dispenser, stereo speakers, electric rice cooker, and induction cooker from this morning, there were other things such as a cooker hood, microwave, and soy milk maker…

If not for the female officer who came slightly earlier, he could have disassembled a lot more things.

Needless to say, after these items were ruined, he had carefully placed illusory copies in their original places. In a short period of time, nobody would be able to notice anything odd about them— hopefully little friend Shuhang would not notice anything unusual!

I should take the chance to get rid of all these things first while Song Shuhang is not back yet.

At this time… a young lady with a chubby face had sneakily approached Medicine Master’s multi-storied building. She was cautiously trying to break the defensive formation—it was no one else but Penniless Thief Sect’s Young Mistress Candy.