Weaves of Ashes

Chapter 140: Chapter 135: Three Strikes

Location: Dark Forest

Time: Day 571/210 (Subjective/Actual) - Evening

Realm: Lower Realm (Doha)

Jayde walked slowly through the forest, Reiko padding silently beside her while Yinxin flew overhead in her dimensional pocket, monitoring from above.

The conversation with Mother Doha—with Ala—kept replaying in her mind. Phoenix and dragon essence. Created deliberately. Daughter of beings she’d never met. The weight of it pressed down like a physical force, making each step feel heavier than it should.

(We’re made again,) Jade whispered. (Even here. Even in this life. Not born. Made.)

Analysis: Existential crisis deferred. Current priority: Return to the cave. Process later.

She almost missed the rustling in the bushes.

Almost.

Jayde’s hand went to her sword, instincts honed by months of survival kicking in instantly. Reiko’s ears perked forward, nose twitching as he analyzed scents on the wind.

[Something’s watching us,] he sent cautiously. [Strange essence signature. Can’t quite place it.]

”Hostile?” Jayde whispered.

[Unknown. It feels... confused? Frustrated?]

The rustling stopped. Then started again, more deliberately this time, as if whatever was making it wanted to be heard.

Jayde cautiously parted the bush leaves, hand hovering over her sword hilt.

Hidden among the bushes was a small, strange creature that looked like something had gone catastrophically wrong during its creation.

It was black and completely furless—not sleek-hairless like a sphinx cat, but grotesquely bare, with skin that had the texture of old leather left too long in the sun. Huge bat-like ears stuck out from its head at wrong angles, each one nearly as large as its entire skull, veined and translucent enough to see blood vessels pulsing underneath.

The face was a nightmare. Vaguely bat-like, but instead of a nose, two sharp, bone-like horns protruded where nostrils should be, yellowed and cracked like old ivory. Small beady eyes—disturbingly human-like in their expressiveness—blinked up at her with what might have been meant as an endearing look but came across as vaguely predatory.

Its mouth was filled with multiple rows of dagger-like teeth, each one jagged and uneven, clearly designed for rending flesh. Arthropod-like mandibles flanked the main jaw, clicking and twitching independently with a sound like fingernails on glass.

It was bipedal—which somehow made it worse—with long ape-like arms that dangled to the ground. Large bone-like structures protruded from its elbows, reaching well above the creature’s shoulders like crude decorative spikes. The digits on both feet and hands ended in long, curved talons that looked sharp enough to disembowel a full-grown man with one swipe.

The creature sat on its hind legs, blinking those disturbingly human eyes. Its butt wiggled slightly—a movement that might have been playful in an actual cute creature, but in this thing just made it look like it was preparing to pounce.

”Kriff me sideways, what an ugly piece of voidshit,” Jayde muttered in disgust, her nose wrinkling. ”Shoo! Get the hell away from me!”

***

Takara was shocked beyond words.

Was this female mental?

He’d chosen the Hellbat specifically because it was adorable! Those magnificent ears that could detect threats from kilometers away! The compact, efficient body! The impressive array of teeth that showed he could smile widely and defend himself! The bone structures that added character and distinction!

This was clearly peak cuteness!

Standing up, he wiggled his butt more enthusiastically, putting real effort into it. Blinking his beady eyes rapidly in what every instinct told him was an irresistible display. Look at me! LOOK at these ears! How can you not find this adorable?!

Jayde raised her sword, pointing it directly at the strange creature with clear intent to use it. ”I said get. The. Hell. Out. Before I introduce you to the pointy end!”

Seeing actual killing intent in her eyes, Takara yelped—a sound that came out more like a strangled wheeze through the Hellbat’s weird anatomy—and sprinted away into the undergrowth.

That damn female is insane! he thought desperately, his tiny Hellbat heart hammering against his leathery ribs. She nearly killed me! By all the realms, what did I ever do to deserve this punishment?!

He crouched in the shadows, actual shock making his mandibles click nervously.

Ugly?! Ugly?! How could she possibly— he was adorable! The Hellbat was clearly one of nature’s most precious and misunderstood creations!

My liege was wrong, Takara thought desperately, his world-view crumbling. These females are defective. Damaged. They have absolutely no sense of aesthetics whatsoever. None!

He paced invisibly in the forest shadows, trying to process what had just happened. This had to be an anomaly. Hellbats were cute. They had to be. He’d spent forty-five minutes deliberating before choosing this form!

Maybe he’d just chosen the wrong creature. Maybe Hellbats, despite their obvious appeal, weren’t as universally beloved as basic logic suggested.

Fine. He’d try something else. Something even more obviously adorable.

Takara reached out telepathically to one of his subordinates stationed in the Radiant Realm. [Canirr. I need information. Immediately.]

[Commander?] Canirr’s surprise was palpable. [Is something wrong? You sound... stressed.]

[I need to know what human females find cute,] Takara sent with as much dignity as he could muster while currently shaped like a leathery bat-thing hiding in bushes. [Specifically, what physical features do they prefer in small creatures?]

A long pause that somehow managed to convey judgment.

[...Is this for a mission, Commander?]

[Just answer the damned question!]

[Well, I’ve observed many humans in the Radiant Realm over the centuries. They seem to favor creatures with large eyes. The bigger the eyes, the more they react positively. It’s very consistent across populations.]

Large eyes! Of course!

[Thank you, Canirr. That will be all.]

Takara cut the connection before his subordinate could ask more probing questions about why the head of Fahmjir’s elite guard was requesting cute-creature consultation.

Large eyes made perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective—larger eyes meant better vision, meant vulnerability that triggered protective instincts, meant a superior creature worthy of protection and affection and cuddles.

And if human females loved large eyes, then logically, the largest eyes would be the most appealing!

Basic mathematics! Flawless reasoning!

He grinned—which looked absolutely horrifying on the Hellbat face—already thinking of the perfect form.

The Death Squirrel. Massive eyes that comprised nearly half its entire body mass! Glassy, gorgeous orbs that no female could possibly resist!

This will work, Takara thought with renewed confidence. This is scientifically sound!

***

Jayde had barely walked another hundred meters when she heard scuffling noises ahead.

Distinctive scuffling. The kind that said ”creature approaching” rather than ”wind in bushes.”

She looked up.

And immediately wished she hadn’t.

Running toward her was quite possibly the most horrifying creature she had ever seen in two lifetimes of seeing horrifying things.

It was dark grey with a squat, bloated body and an unusually long neck that wobbled as it ran, like its head was too heavy for the spindly thing supporting it. Short, stubby legs pumped frantically, while equally stubby arms flailed with no apparent coordination.

Its face was an unholy fusion of rabbit and eldritch abomination. A human-shaped nose—human-shaped, which made it infinitely worse—sat in the center of its face, flanked by large rabbit ears that flopped with each movement. The ears had bald patches and what looked like scabs.

The mouth was filled with multiple rows of razor-sharp teeth, each one slightly different in size and shape, like someone had jammed teeth from various predators into gums never meant to hold them. Black substance dripped continuously from those jaws—not drool, something thicker and more viscous that hissed when it hit the ground, leaving small burn marks on leaves and stones.

But the eyes. Oh, by the void, the eyes.

They were huge—easily the size of a human fist each, bulging from the skull like they might pop out at any moment. Dark grey and completely glassy, reflecting light in ways that suggested they might not actually see anything. The eyelids were somehow horizontal, blinking from side to side rather than up and down, revealing glimpses of bloodshot whites.

Large white whiskers stuck out at random angles from its cheeks. A tuft of white hair stood straight up on its head like it had been struck by lightning and frozen in permanent terror.

The creature scampered directly toward her, those massive eyes fixed on her face with disturbing, unblinking intensity, black ooze dripping from its jaws in a steady stream.

”By the kriffing void!” Jayde grabbed her bow with the speed of pure horror-fueled reflex, nocked an arrow, and fired in one smooth motion.

***

Takara had barely made it ten steps in his new adorable Death Squirrel form when he noticed Jayde’s hand moving.

Before he had time to even process what was happening, an arrow was flying directly at his forehead with lethal accuracy.

WHAT THE—

Without conscious thought, Takara flashed into the in-between space. The arrow passed harmlessly through the spot where his head had been a microsecond earlier, close enough that he felt the displacement of air.

WHAT IN ALL THE HELLS IS WRONG WITH THIS INSANE WOMAN?!

He materialized twenty meters away, tiny Death Squirrel heart hammering so hard he thought his ribs might crack. His stubby legs trembled. Those massive eyes—which had seemed so appealing minutes ago—watered with shock.

She tried to KILL me! Actually, KILL me! With actual lethal force! For being CUTE!

He was really starting to think his liege was becoming senile. That crazy, bloodthirsty, aesthetically-challenged woman didn’t need protection. He damn well needed protection from her!

***

”What the kriffing hell is going on with this cursed forest today?” Jayde muttered, lowering her bow with hands that shook slightly from adrenaline. ”That’s the second nightmare-fuel critter I’ve run into. What is this, mutation season?”

[Jayde?] Yinxin’s mental voice carried concern mixed with confusion.

[It’s nothing,] Jayde reassured her, though her voice was slightly higher-pitched than normal. [Just some... ugly pests. Really, really ugly pests. Probably attracted by all the magical activity earlier. Or maybe there’s a dimensional breach leaking things from the nightmare realm.]

[...Are you certain you’re alright? Your heart rate is elevated.]

[I’m fine. Just... those things were really ugly. Like, offensively ugly. Aggressively not-cute.]

Jayde continued walking, exhaustion settling deeper into her bones. Between Mother Doha’s revelations and the now random forest creatures that looked like someone’s failed experiments in creature design, this day couldn’t end soon enough.

Please let nothing else horrible happen, she thought wearily. I just want to sleep.

***

Wrapped in an invisibility spell, Takara spied on Jayde from behind a tree, his invisible Death Squirrel form still trembling slightly.

Watching her laugh with Reiko about his appearance, he came to a painful, universe-shaking conclusion:

Jayde must have no aesthetic sense. None. Zero. Absolute void where appreciation for cuteness should exist.

But his liege had given orders. He couldn’t return having failed twice. His pride as head of the elite guard wouldn’t allow it. Five thousand years of loyal service couldn’t end with ”got called ugly by a teenage girl and gave up.”

Desperate for a solution that would salvage both mission and dignity, he contacted his master—the wise and experienced Kioshi, who’d mentored numerous young Lightning Panthera over his long centuries.

If anyone could help, it would be him.

[Master, I need your wisdom urgently,] Takara sent with as much respect as he could muster while shaped like a horrifying squirrel-thing.

[Takara? What’s wrong? You sound... distressed.]

Takara quickly explained his predicament—the mission, the two failed attempts, the human female who apparently found Hellbats and Death Squirrels repulsive rather than adorable despite their obvious appeal.

After listening to everything with what Takara chose to interpret as sympathetic silence, Kioshi thought seriously about his poor student’s dilemma.

Finally: [Canirr wasn’t wrong about eyes being important to humans. But perhaps the issue isn’t size alone. Perhaps... if the animal had more than two eyes, wouldn’t that be more effective? More eyes means more cuteness potential. Simple mathematics.]

Takara’s spirits lifted immediately, hope blazing like sunrise after endless night.

[Master, you’re absolutely brilliant!]

Of course! If two eyes were cute, then more eyes would increase the cuteness exponentially! It was basic multiplicative logic! Why hadn’t he thought of that?!

Running through a mental catalogue of all creatures with multiple eyes, Takara finally remembered one that had six perfect eyes.

Purrfect, he purred to himself, already feeling better.

The Centipede Cat! A feline! Of course, it was the cutest—everyone in every realm across all dimensions knew that felines were superior creatures! How could he have been so foolish as to try lesser forms first?

This would work. This had to work!

Weaving his transformation spell with renewed confidence, Takara shapeshifted into Centipede Cat form.

Ah, much more comfortable, he thought, examining his new body with satisfaction. The six eyes offered fascinating peripheral vision—one eye could look left while another looked right simultaneously, a third could watch above while a fourth monitored below. Absolutely superior design!

This form would make a cute and effective protector for that battle-crazy woman!

With confidence restored and pride salvaged, Takara sauntered into the clearing where Jayde was walking. His centipede tail lifted proudly in the air, the segmented appendage undulating with what he knew was charming grace.

He’d made it halfway across the clearing without being shot at or having Jayde try to stab him!

See? he thought smugly, vindication sweet. Just goes to show—felines ARE superior! I should have started with this!

***

[Gods and spirits, Jayde, what kind of unholy abomination is THAT?!]

Jayde was lost in thought about Mother Doha’s revelations when Yinxin’s exclamation echoed through her mind with genuine horror.

Her eyes popped open, looking around to see what fresh nightmare had manifested.

By the void, NOT AGAIN!

Walking toward her with disturbing confidence was quite possibly the weirdest animal Jayde had ever seen in two lifetimes, and that included the genetically-modified horrors Xi Corp had created in their black labs.

It looked like someone had taken a cat, stripped all its fur off with industrial solvent, then added features from nightmares while drunk.

The body was skeletal—actually skeletal, ribs visible beneath skin so thin it was nearly translucent. The hairless flesh was covered in strange dots that lined up in stripes, but rather than seeming like natural markings, they looked like poorly-healed puncture wounds arranged in patterns.

It had huge bat ears that stuck out at angles, constantly twitching independently. The feet were wrong—chimpanzee-type feet with too-long toes and opposable thumbs that no cat should have. The hands were even worse—strange human-like hands with fingers that bent in too many places, ending in tiny but sharp claws.

The face had to be the work of someone’s fever dream. Where there should be two eyes, there were six. Two huge bulging eyes sat on top of its head like a frog’s, swiveling independently. Two more eyes perched just above where a nose should be, smaller but somehow more disconcerting. And two regular cat-eyes sat where they should normally be—except they were bloodshot and watering.

All six eyes blinked independently, creating a ripple effect that was profoundly disturbing.

But the absolute worst part was the tail.

It wasn’t a cat tail. It was a living, hissing centipede—an actual arthropod grafted where a tail should be, its many legs clicking together rhythmically as it waved back and forth. The thing had pincers at the end and what looked like a venomous stinger.

The whole creature moved with confidence that was completely unjustified by its appearance.

Jayde’s jaw dropped open in pure, undistilled shock.

***

Takara chortled with delight, his multiple eyes catching Jayde’s stunned expression.

Oh yeah! I’m irresistible now! Look at these six gorgeous eyes! The superior feline form! The charming tail! How can she possibly resist this?!

He took another confident step forward, already imagining her delighted squeal when she—

Yinxin, seeing this absurd creature getting closer to her contracted partner, flicked her tail from her dimensional vantage point.

The strike manifested in physical space—a massive silver tail sweeping through the clearing with enough force to punt a boulder.

Before Takara could process what was happening, something hit him like a meteor.

Then he was flying.

Actually flying.

Screaming in horror as he left the ground, he soared in a graceful arc over the treetops. OH GODS OH GODS OH GODS I’M GOING TO DIE I’M ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE—

Looking down at the ground that seemed impossibly, terrifyingly far away, Takara experienced vertigo for the first time in his five-thousand-year existence.

The forest spun below him. Wind rushed past his six eyes, making them water. The centipede tail flailed uselessly.

This is it, he thought with crystal clarity. This is how it ends. Swatted by a dragon. In the shape of the ugliest thing I’ve ever been. My subordinates will tell stories about this. FOR CENTURIES.

Gravity reasserted itself.

He crashed through branches, bounced off a tree trunk, and finally slammed into the ground with enough force to create a small crater.

He lay there stunned, every bone in his tiny feline body screaming. All six eyes saw stars—actual stars, or possibly just brain damage. The centipede tail twitched pathetically.

Part of him wanted to roll over and kiss the ground in gratitude for being back on solid earth. The other part hurt too much to move. A third part was having an existential crisis about life choices that led to this moment.

At that moment, Takara came to several painful realizations:

One: His liege was completely, utterly, catastrophically clueless when it came to females. No wonder Fahmjir didn’t have a mate. The being probably thought Hellbats were romantic.

Two: He, Takara, elite guard and supposedly intelligent being, had somehow chosen the three ugliest creatures in existence and genuinely believed they were adorable.

Three: His master had led him astray. Possibly deliberately.

Four: He was going to die in this forest, shaped like a nightmare, and it was all his own fault.

And five: He was going to have to contact Fahmjir and explain this disaster.

Please let me die first, Takara prayed to any gods listening. Actual death would be less painful than this conversation.

***

Jayde shook her head, continuing her walk back to the cave with slightly quicker steps.

”Okay, that was officially the weirdest evening of my life,” she muttered to Reiko. ”And I’ve had some weird evenings.”

[Agreed,] the shadowbeast sent, his mental voice carrying genuine bewilderment. [Those creatures were... I don’t even have words. Never seen anything like them in all my time in this forest. Never want to again.]

[They’re gone now,] Yinxin reassured from above, though her mental voice held traces of lingering disgust. [Whatever they were, I don’t think they’ll bother us again after that.]

[If they do, I’m moving to a different forest,] Reiko declared.

The cave entrance came into view, and Jayde felt relief wash through her exhausted body.

Tomorrow she’d talk to Isha. Get answers about the worms. Figure out what Mother Doha’s revelations meant.

But tonight?

Tonight, she just needed sleep and to not think about whatever bizarre creatures kept accosting her.

She entered the cave sanctuary, noting the strengthened wards Ala had left—earth spirits dancing at the edges of perception, guardian presences that made the space feel safer than anywhere else in the forest.

Jayde collapsed onto her bedroll without bothering to remove her armor, too exhausted to care.

Reiko curled beside her, warm and solid. Yinxin returned to the Pavilion to check on the wyrmlings.

And somewhere in the darkness outside, a very bruised, very humiliated Lightning Panthera lay in his tiny crater, trying to gather courage for the conversation he absolutely had to have.