The 99th Divorce

“That’s a second prize! Is that all you’re capable of?” Yu Lili nudged her and said, “Look how awesome the grand prize is! You get prize money of $200,000! If it’s a vacation, you’ll still have to spend your own money there. Can’t you just be a little more ambitious?”

“We’re not the same,” Ye Qianqian said. “My luck is always so bad. It’ll be good enough for me if I can even obtain the second prize!”

Confident in her reasoning, Ye Qianqian added, “Moreover, what’s so bad about a vacation? If I get it, I’ll be able to go on paid leave. The company is providing the plane ticket and lodging. That adds up to quite a sum of money too! Besides, the destination is Venice! It’s all about the je ne sais quoi of the place! Je ne sais quoi!

Yu Lili burst out laughing. “What are you talking about? With your horrible luck, it’ll be a miracle for you to get it at all!”

“Oh sh*t!” Ye Qianqian suddenly exclaimed. “The grand prize! The grand prize has been given to somebody else! Ahhh! Ah! Ah! What good luck that person has to actually win money! Money!”

Yu Lili was at a loss of words. “Didn’t you say that you didn’t want the money?”

“Bull! Who doesn’t want money? It’s $200,000! $200,000! I’d be able to buy a toilet in Kingstown! I… sob sob sob…” Ye Qianqian hugged Yu Lili and sighed. “I didn’t mean what I said at all. If I had been picked for the grand prize, I really wouldn’t have minded it one bit!”

Yu Lili burst out in laughter and said, “It’s your turn now. Go on!”

Ye Qianqian stood up and turned to run toward the stage. In a few quick steps, she was onstage.

She was a pretty popular person in the company, and the emcee had a very amicable relationship with her. When he saw how eager she looked, he deliberately turned to the topic to her.

“Miss Ye, for the grand prizes, we are now left with the second prize, which is a five-day, six-night holiday package to Venice on a paid leave, and third prize, which is a notebook computer worth $18,888,” he said.

Ye Qianqian was overcome with excitement when she heard that and announced, “I want the second prize!”

Everyone around her began to boo at her in ridicule.

The emcee burst out laughing and said, “I would very much like for your dream to come true, but based on your luck in the previous few years, I think it’s likely that the only thing you’ll win is a porcelain doll.”

The audience burst out in guffaws. Someone yelled out, “The porcelain doll is waiting for you!”

“Ye Qianqian has never won a prize before,” the emcee said. “It goes without saying that will likely be the case this year too. But there are plenty of consolation prizes to go around, so do not be discouraged.”

Ye Qianqian was vexed from being the butt of the jokes and fiercely scolded, “Shut up!”

With that, she was resolved to ignore everyone. She stuck her hand into the lucky draw box and deliberately tossed the contents inside for a while.

When the emcee saw how serious Ye Qianqian was being, he looked down and earnestly said, “Ye Qianqian is about to take her pick. Everyone, let’s hear what she has to say!”

Ye Qianqian rolled her eyes at him. She looked at the microphone in front of her and yelled out, “Abracadabra! Change into the second prize!”

With that, she pulled her arm back out with a ball in her hand. She had left everyone in the audience in stitches. They were all roaring in laughter.

Ye Qianqian passed the ball over to the emcee, and the emcee took hold of it.

Looking at the audience down below, the emcee’s expression was somber as he said, “Although we already know what the outcome will be, looking at how much Qianqian wants this, I really don’t have the heart to burst her bubble.”

He opened the ball and retrieved the piece of paper that was inside. The emcee was still in a teasing mood. Just as he was about to say something more, his eyes suddenly went wide.

The emcee spread out the piece of paper and gave it a few good looks up and down before finally announcing, “Congratulations, Ye Qianqian!”

“A consolation prize?” someone asked.

The audience burst out in laughter, but the emcee turned to face the paper at the audience and said, “Second prize.”