1000x Random Returns: Investing in My Crippled Demon Wives!

Chapter 89: Chapter 89: Your Luck Is Genuinely Offensive, and Maybe Racist Too!

Kael reached him first, colliding into a hug hard enough to nearly knock them both over.

”BRO!”

”Hello, Kael.”

”YOU WERE THROWN DOWN THE STAIRS!”

”I remember.”

”YOU HAD A DAGGER IN YOUR CHEST!”

”Also remember that.”

”AND THEN YOU JUST DISAPPEARED!”

”That part was slightly less pleasant, but yeah.”

Rika arrived a half step behind him, grabbing his shoulders and looking him over like she still didn’t quite trust her own eyes. ”You’re alive.”

”Last time I checked.”

Vex approached more calmly, though the relief on his face was unmistakable. ”We genuinely thought you were dead.”

”I didn’t,” Zalor said simply.

Everyone looked at him.

He shrugged. ”Though I hoped he wasn’t.”

”That’s basically the same thing coming from you,” Kael said.

”So did you figure out who attacked you?” Rika asked immediately.

Lucien already had a story ready, since he couldn’t quite tell them everything. ”Remember the unknown crystal token from the chest, the one with the blood drop carving, when the dagger hit me, it stabbed into the crystal and then I got teleported back to Floor 1, I think.”

”You think?”

”Look I didn’t exactly have time to read the manual on it.”

”And the attacker?”

”I didn’t get a proper look at them and by the time I registered what happened, I was already somewhere else entirely.”

Rika frowned but let it go, It was strange, but everything about dungeon’s were strange.

Vex stopped mid-step, staring. ”Wait.”

”What?”

”Whats that pn your forehead?”

Lucien touched it on instinct, though he’d already dismissed the blood-drop mark before stepping through, at Carmilla’s reminder. The horns, though, weren’t going anywhere, as rhey were part of him.

Kael circled him slowly, incredulous. ”Did you always have those?”

”...Not exactly.”

”What happened?”

”I got lucky.”

”I found something that fixed a problem with my bloodline,” Lucien added.

Kael’s face went completely deadpan before sorrow made its way on it. ”Of course you did, and as soon as we left, why didn’t it work when I was there?”

”Naturally,” Zalor agreed.

”You disappear after an assassination attempt,” Vex said slowly, ”and come back with a fixed bloodline and cool horns.”

”Your luck is genuinely offensive, and maybe racist too.” Kael said.

”I don’t control it.”

”That’s what makes it worse.”

Rika studied the rest of him properly now, the height, the leaner build, the eyes gone impossibly deep. ”Does fixing a bloodline usually do all this?”

”Be careful bro, she is after your body.” Kael dramatically covered Lucien protecting him from the female Oni.

Smack!

”Ouch, why’d you slap me?”

”Apparently it had been suppressing my whole body for years,” Lucien said. ”Everything it should’ve given me physically, it just didn’t.”

Kael gestured broadly at him. ”So this is what you were supposed to look like?”

”I think so.”

”That’s ridiculous, where can I find something like this for me?”

”Agreed, what do you even need bloodline fixing item for Kael?” Zalor said.

”To look good?”

”Moron.” Rika said still offended by what he said.

”His physical body certainly looks stronger,” Vex noted.

”I feel stronger too,” Lucien admitted.

”How much stronger?”

He smiled. ”Enough.”

Kael’s eyes narrowed immediately.

”Did you seriously drop a enough, come on man, tell me, how much.”

”Forget that, why are you guys back here, anyway?” Lucien asked. ”You should’ve been out already.”

Kael looked genuinely offended. ”Because we came back for you!”

”We weren’t leaving you stranded on Floor Six,” Vex said.

”Even without permission?” Lucien asked, glancing at Rika.

”We didn’t have any,” she admitted plainly.

”And you came back anyway.”

”Obviously,” Kael said.

”What was the plan?”

Kael cleared his throat as he looked away. ”We hadn’t gotten that far.”

”It was to go down and figure it out from there,” Zalor supplied.

”Not exactly a sophisticated strategy,” Vex added.

Lucien laughed, something warm settling in his chest. ”You idiots.”

Kael grinned. ”You’re welcome.”

They set up camp a short distance off, everyone visibly exhausted, as Kael unfortunately took cooking duty, which lasted exactly five minutes before smoke started rising.

”You haven’t improved at all,” Lucien noted.

”I haven’t burned anything yet.”

”You’re currently burning something.” Rika said.

”That’s why I said yet.” Kael responded.

Zalor took over without a word, telling Kael to go bury the ashes he made.

”So,” Rika said, once food and quiet had settled over them. ”Where’d you actually find the thing that fixed your bloodline?”

”In a treasure chest,” Lucien said.

Everyone stopped eating.

”A treasure chest.”

”Yeah and a Gold Rank one, it appeared right after I landed on Floor One. I figured surviving alone was lucky enough, and then this thing shows up too.”

”What was in it?”

”One item, just one. Didn’t even know what it did until I used it, but felt like it would be of some use and I’m glad I did.”

Kael slowly set down his spoon. ”One item.”

”Yes.”

”In one chest.”

”Yes.”

”And it happened to fix your bloodline.”

”Yep.”

”Your luck,” Zalor said, ”is getting disgusting.”

Rika actually laughed. ”I’m starting to think the dungeon likes you specifically, maybe you’re its secret hidden boss or something.”

”No,” Kael said, dead serious. ”The dungeon is cheating.”

’Really a treasure chest?’ Carmilla’s voice cut in, mildly and playfully outraged.

’Yes, a treasure chest.’ Lucien thought back, keeping his face perfectly neutral.

’You told them I’m a treasure chest?’

’Aren’t you technically one for me, you gave me treasures.’

’I am your GODDESS.’

’And my Goddess gave me treasures, did she not?’

’I am your sugar mommy! Not a piece of dungeon furniture!’

Lucien had to fight a smile. ’Okay, okay my Holy and divine goddess I’ll correct the record with them immediately and tell them of your diviness.’

”Actually, my dungeon dwelling sugar m—”

’Don’t you dare.’

’Then treasure chest it is.’

”What was that?”

”No, nothing never mind.” Lucie said grinning a bit.

She made an offended noise directly into his skull that he was fairly sure a goddess had no business making.

’By the way, is that woman your wife?’ she asked, apparently pivoting entirely.

’No,’ he thought, glancing at Rika. ’She’s a friend and the leader for this party.’

’Hmm.’

’Don’t.’

’I didn’t say anything.’

’You were about to.’

’...Maybe.’

After thirty minutes and a round of recovery potions, Rika stood. ”Let’s get a move on but this time no fights we don’t need, and make sure of it.”

They cut through Floors Three and Four fast, avoiding every monster pack and adventurer groups they spotted, taking the shortest lines Rika’s map offered, even if they were sometimes more cumbersome to go through.

Kael eventually noticed Lucien effortlessly holding point at the front, not a single uneven breath even though they practically sprinted from Floor 3 to here. ”Are you sure you weren’t replaced by something like in those horror movies?” He said shivering a bit.

”Maybe, I could be a skin walker.” He said turning to Kael, and putting g o the most horrifying smile he could.

”Fuck man, do t do that.” Kael said distancing himself and going behind Rika, as the others laughed at him.

”Look at the big man, scared of a little ghosts?” Zalor said playing with Kael.

”Say that to me when we actually encounter a ghost.” Kael said.

They reached the Floor Five boss doorway, several parties already waiting.

Kael dropped onto a rock. ”I’m seriously sick of this dungeon.”

”Yeah me too,” Zalor said.

”You two said that already on the first run,” Lucien pointed out.

”Yeah we did, and it’s still true.”

’Who is that buffoon,’ Carmilla asked, genuinely baffled. ’He keeps insulting my dungeon.’

’Don’t mind him, he’s tired and he hasn’t has the best experience in here to boot.’

’My dungeon isn’t a headache.’ A pause. ’It’s beautiful.’

’You made an entire floor full of Crimson Jellyfiends.’

’Exactly, they are cute.’

’That’s not the defense you think it is.’

The slot opened eventually, and they stepped through into the boss chamber as Lucien appraised it.

[Dungeon Boss: Bloodveil Nightbat Matriarch — Peak C]

The massive crimson bat descended, wings blotting out most of the chamber’s light.

Lucien cracked his neck and fists.

Kael eyed him. ”You not using your twin scythes?”

”No.”

”No weapon?”

”No weapon.”

”Are you sure?” Vex asked.

Lucien grinned and smiled widely. ”Let’s find out what this new body can do, shall we?”

The boss unleashed a Crimson Screech, sound tearing through the chamber.

Lucien didn’t even flinch.

It dove, but he was already gone, appearing directly in its path.

BOOM.

His fist met its face mid air and drove it straight into the floor as a sickening crunch sounded.

Kael’s jaw dropped. ”He just punched it to the ground.”

The party surged in, Rika from the side, Kael following, Vex’s arrows finding gaps between wingbeats as Zalor’s shadows lashed around one wing, a shadow sike stabbing into the wing.

Lucien fought without the scythes, without Blood Manipulation and without touching any other ability.

Just his fists and a new and improved body.

The Matriarch tried Blood Drain on him, it’s jaws snapping for his forearm.

He caught its face in one hand. ”Not today.”

He threw it across the chamber.

”WHAT?!” Kael shouted.

It tried Crimson Screech again but Lucien appeared next to it and silenced it with a single punch to the jaw, the sound of impact louder than the screech itself.

’That sounded painful.’ Carmilla commented.

Rika finished the opening as Vex’s arrow found its wing while Zalor bound its legs and held it in place.

Kael smashed through with all four arms, using both his great sword and his new gauntlets as Lucien delivered the final blow.

BOOM.

The Bloodveil Nightbat Matriarch collapsed.

Kael turned slowly. ”...What the hell.”

”What?”

”You didn’t use your weapon.”

”I noticed.”

”No blood either.”

”Correct.”

”You just punched a Peak C boss to death, like what the fuck?!”

”Apparently my bloodline problem was bigger than I thought.”

”WHAT KIND OF BLOODLINE PROBLEM WAS THAT AND CAN I HAVE ONE WITH A SIDE OF FIX IT TOO?”

”A small one?”

Everyone stared.

”That was not a small problem,” Vex said.

”Apparently it was,” Zalor said, mildly awed.

Rika smiled, something genuinely warm in it as she joked. ”I’m glad it’s fixed, though like Kael can I get one too”

Lucien approached the corpse and activated Blood Manipulation, immediately noticing the difference.

’No effort at all,’ he thought, watching blood rise obediently, effortlessly, like moving his own fingers. ’Before I had to concentrate atleast a bit for this, now it’s just happening by itself.’

The blood spiraled upward into a massive floating sphere.

”You’re doing that again,” Kael said.

He compressed it smaller, smaller, smaller until it condensed into a single tiny candy.

”Well, that’s convenient,” Lucien said.

”I’m not even surprised anymore,” Kael sighed.

”Your efficiency’s increased considerably,” Vex said, watching the process.

’More than efficiency,’ Lucien thought. ’Precision too. The bloodline evolution didn’t just make me stronger, It even made everything about my talent fit better.’

The chest appeared as the Bosses remains dissolved, Iron Rank this time, more mana crystals, blood mana crystals, some bat related materials, a decent handful of gold. They split it quickly without much fanfare.

The exit portal bloomed alongside the staircase down.

Kael glanced toward the stairs, grinning. ”Going down again?”

”Absolutely not.”

”Didn’t think so.”

”I didn’t want to go down the first time either.”

”Yet somehow you did,” Zalor said.

”Against my will.”

Rika looked at him. ”Then you’re leaving first.”

”Me?”

”Better safe than sorry, don’t want you to go of on some adve ture and come back ridiculouslyrics stronger.”

He understood immediately. ”Fine.”

One by one they stepped through,Lucien first, then Rika, Kael, Vex, Zalor.

The world shifted, and they emerged outside the dungeon entrance.

The makeshift village had grown considerably, more buildings, more stalls, more adventurers and guild staff milling through paths that hadn’t existed when they’d first arrived.

”It’s gotten bigger,” Lucien said.

”Told you,” Kael said.

Rika looked around at it all, then back at Lucien.

”We’re all finally out.”

Lucien took a slow breath, Carmilla’s presence a quiet, watchful weight at the back of his mind.

He smiled.

’I’m out.’