(BL) The Villain wants a Divorce!

Edgar didn’t like the feeling that was sitting like a weight in his chest. It was choking, heavy, and if he looked at it too closely he knew exactly what it was. He hated that he did, but honestly? It had been more of a friend to him than anything else in his life.

Jealousy.

He was jealous.

Why was he jealous? Because something was going on with Cass, and he felt fucking left out. There was a part of him that was pissed that there was something else going on, and his first suspicion was that Cass wasn’t telling them the whole truth about what had happened to him.

Then Edgar would laugh at himself. Of course he wouldn’t tell the whole truth. He was the one who’d been a fucking asshole to him. Cass had practically had to tell his truth against his will. There was no way that he was going to be okay with that.

Edgar had been observing Cass closely, very closely recently, and knew that the man hated being forced to tell things. He liked to do it on his time. You did not rush Cass. That was the quickest way to get on his bad side.

In and out of the bedroom.

Edgar sat in the front row, watching Cass remain motionless as he spoke to the gods, and sighed heavily. He hated this feeling in his chest. It had plagued him his whole damn life. Other kids got to go outside and play, even got to have relationships with their siblings but what had Edgar gotten?

Solitary confinement, told that he shouldn’t get close to his brother since he didn’t matter, and endless hours of scripture reading. It was no wonder they put him in charge of educating Ava. He knew the books better than anyone else.

Now, here he was, thinking he would get to go on a cute little date with the man who was slowly becoming a bigger part of Edgar’s life than he had ever expected, who he was getting into fights with Lucian over. Instead of the cute little date he had thought up, they were back at the fucking temple after he found him crying his eyes out looking so distressed that it nearly broke Edgar’s heart.

The man had then trusted Edgar to keep his mouth shut as something...strange happened.

Edgar kept thinking back to it. How it hadn’t lasted long, but it sounded so...serious. Like two people having an actual conversation, not like someone talking to himself. It was a strange distinction, and one that Edgar would know for two reasons.

One, the scripture, and two, the fact that his family ran brothels. He ran into all kinds because of strong believers and people who were faithful in a different way. That was how Edgar knew what Cass had done was strange.

Edgar knew that Cass had changed in the last little bit. Cassian wasn’t who he had been before. The stuffy, snooty man was gone. Cass had easily explained why, said he’d lived another life. Everyone had bought it because it had made...sense. There was only one other explanation and no one had wanted to accuse him of it expect Gideon.

Now, however...Edgar swallowed. He had the hero mark, and that conversation had been...strange. The other voice had sounded like...Cassian. The Lord Blackburn that he knew, and he was...comforting Cass?

It was confusing. He wanted answers, he needed them but his mind kept going back to the look on Cass’ face when he saw him. The relief that had coated his expression before it quickly changed to something that twisted his gut.

Fear.

Cass was afraid. Of him? Of how he would react? Edgar wasn’t sure, but it was a punch to the gut to see it so rawly portrayed on the other man’s face. He wasn’t even sure that Cass was aware of it, and Edgar had no plans to tell him.

Not after Cass had clung to him so desperately. He doubted that Cass was aware of it. He was the reason why Edgar wasn’t able to put him down. Cass wouldn’t let him. He was shaking like a damn leaf.

What monster would let someone who was acting that way down? Or leave them alone?

Cass was pulling, tugging at Edgar’s heartstrings and was making Edgar jealous of a voice he’d overheard.

What the hell was going on with Cass, and if he got Cass to trust him enough, would he find out the truth?

Edgar had stopped praying to the gods after his father had caught him doing so before bed once and had yelled at him, berating him for taking the attention of the gods away from non sinners. It had been accompanied by a beating, so that his message had really stuck.

Those had stopped shortly after Ava arrived. Couldn’t damage the pretty exterior of the Vespertine family anymore.

That was to say, this was the first time that Edgar had actually prayed to the gods in a long, long time. The only thing he wanted to ask for, pray for, was something simple.

Please keep an eye on Cass. Please make sure that he understands that he can be happy. Please allow him to be happy.

It was something simple, but Edgar wasn’t stupid enough to believe that anyone would actually help him. While he knew that the gods were real, his whole life he had known they were real, that didn’t mean that he trusted them.

After all, they let a boy be turned into a demon to keep a vow with a human family. That vow meant that a human family stayed in power for practically all eternity. Edgar didn’t have faith in either side. Demons or gods, while he believed in both and was proof that both existed, didn’t mean much to him.

While he had made a big deal about Cass having a hero mark, it was more about the fact that there were two heroes right now. That did not bode well for their world, which he was sure that his father had also picked up on.

It was also probably why his father didn’t care what Cass did from this point on. He had been on Fiona’s ass for so damn long, but Cass? He was clearly the gods’ wild card.

Edgar sighed, staring at the small form dressed in all black hunched over as he spoke to the gods. His body began to twitch as Edgar hoped that was a sign that he was waking up. He wanted to banter with him, hear his snarky replies to him.

He wanted to know that he was okay.

~

That hadn’t gone as well as Edgar had hoped.

He had hoped that the gods would have had answers for all of Cass’ questions, but it was clear that they hadn’t. Cass wasn’t as bad as when he went in to speak to the gods, but it was clear that he wasn’t doing okay either.

He looked like a shell of himself. Just a little husk of the man that Edgar had gotten used to seeing. The lively, living, snarky man that Edgar was growing a soft spot for was...gone. Replaced by a man who was jittery, quiet, with a gaze that wouldn’t quite meet his own.

He jumped at every touch of Edgar’s hand, every brush of Edgar against him. He didn’t even seem to know it, and that broke Edgar more. Edgar wanted to know about what Cass was going through, what the gods had said, what the demons had said to him, but he wanted the old Cass back more than finding out those answers.

He wanted Cass to be himself again.

He knew that whatever news Cass got, it was emotionally, maybe even physically devastating. He’d at best, had a small psychotic break, and at worst, revealed a tremendous secret of some kind in front of Edgar. The news had to be terrible for that to happen, but that didn’t mean that Edgar wanted to watch it happen in real time.

His emotions on the situation shifted slightly when Cass looked up at him with big, watery red eyes and held out his arms to him. It was like his world shifted then and there. He’d felt jealous, maybe even a bit bitter over the whole situation but as soon as Cass asked him for help? For him to carry him?

It was like all of his issues were washed away.

Nothing could bother him anymore. Cass was relying on him for help, for comfort, and while Edgar wanted a bit more like maybe a little kiss, this was nice. Cass was trusting Edgar not only with his secrets, but with his life at the moment, and that was a big thing.

Edgar had no plans to let him down.

Edgar adjusted the hold that he had on Cass in his arms. The carriage rocked them lightly, making Cass look like a sweet baby in his arms. Edgar bent, pressing his forehead against Cass’ cheek and let out a long exhale.

Cass made a soft noise, a complaint, and Edgar chuckled. He didn’t pull away, even in his sleep though. It was clear he was craving this kind of touch, and Edgar was happy to give it. Maybe Edgar could suggest that they have a warm bath together, maybe a drink to relax his nerves.

Edgar didn’t need to know what he’d found out tonight. Cass deserved a gentle night. He hoped that he would have a moment with Lucian to let him know that before he pressed him for answers. Cass would never consider himself a delicate man, but Edgar would say that he was probably pretty delicate right now.

Edgar didn’t want to ruin the trust that Cass had given to him thus far. He also didn’t want anyone else to ruin that trust either.

He just hoped that Cass would have a calm, easy rest of the day. The man had definitely earned it.