Reborn As Noble

”Yoshi, yoshi... such a good boy,” Francesca cooed as she cradled me in her arms, gently patting my back. Her soft voice wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and I felt my tiny body relax completely.

Ahhh, this feels good. So good.

I gazed up at her face, her radiant beauty glowing under the warm light of the room. Her soft, wavy hair framed her delicate features, and her kind smile was enough to make me feel like I’d truly been reborn into a paradise.

First the goddess of beauty feeds me, and now she cuddles me. This is bliss... pure bliss. Ehehehe.

My baby brain couldn’t handle the overwhelming joy. I let out a little giggle, snuggling closer to Francesca. This is it. I’ve peaked in life. No reincarnation could get better than this.

But then, like a storm cloud appearing on a sunny day, a voice interrupted my moment of happiness.

”Madam Francesca, may I hold him for a minute?”

That voice... NOOOOOO!!!

I recognized that voice instantly. The kissing demon. The oni. Marita.

My entire body tensed, and I let out a soft, panicked whimper. No! Not her! Mama, angel, goddess—don’t let her near me! Beautiful ladies only! Beautiful ladies ONLY!

Francesca looked at Marita with a small smile, seemingly unaware of my internal crisis. ”Ah, Marita, don’t worry about it. You can continue with your work for now.”

I froze, disbelief washing over me.

Wait... what?

Marita blinked, her hands hovering midair. ”Oh... are you sure, Madam Francesca? I don’t mind holding him for a bit.”

NO! No need! No one asked you! You’re not needed here!

Francesca waved her off gently. ”Really, it’s fine. I’m enjoying this time with my little Javier. You can attend to your other tasks.”

YEEEESSS!!! Sweet victory! You heard her, kissing monster! Go away! Shoo! Shoo! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Ehehe! .If I could’ve pumped my fists in the air, I would have.

Marita sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. ”If you say so, Madam...”

She turned and left the room, though not without one last longing glance in my direction. I shivered.

That’s right! Keep walking! Out of sight, out of mind! Ehehehe!

Francesca chuckled softly, holding me closer as she hummed a tune. My earlier panic faded, replaced by the warm comfort of her embrace.

I’m safe. I’m loved. I’m in the arms of a goddess. Life is good again.

Francesca smiled down at me, oblivious to my inner monologue. ”What’s got you so excited, little one?” she murmured, stroking my cheek.

Oh, nothing, Francesca. Just the joy of escaping doom and returning to heaven—right here in your arms.

But deep down, I knew this wasn’t the last I’d see of Marita. The kissing monster was persistent, and she’d return eventually. For now, though, I savored every second in Francesca’s care, vowing to treasure this peace while it lasted.

--

The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the moon filtering through the ornate curtains. I lay in the baby crib, wide awake. The silence of the night should have been soothing, but something disturbed the peace.

What is that sound?

A soft, rhythmic slapping sound echoed faintly, accompanied by giggles and... unmistakable moans.

Wait... hold on...

Realization hit me like a slap to the face. Ugh, really!? Seriously, you shitty dried plum!.How dare you touch my goddess there!?

HOW DARE YOU, YOU SHITTY OLD GOAT! Hands off my goddess!

Yes, him. Lord Garius. My so-called father in this world. The man who somehow managed to marry the radiant Francesca, despite being—how should I put this—”a dried-out plum.”

My tiny fists clenched as I seethed in silence. That’s right, you’re officially the ”Dried Plum”—shriveled, boring, and utterly unworthy of my angel Francesca!

The slapping sound continued, now mixed with muffled laughter. My face scrunched up in frustration. Get a grip! At least wait until I’m asleep before defiling the sanctity of this room. Do you think I’m like other infants who don’t understand what’s happening? Well, newsflash: I know! And it’s gross!well..not for me..eheheh

Another muffled giggle reached my ears, and I turned my head toward the noise, my tiny body wriggling in the crib.

And really? Can’t you at least wait six months before pawing at her, you lusty dried plum? She just gave birth to me! Have some self-control!

I let out a quiet sigh, my baby lungs not yet capable of expressing the full extent of my exasperation. This is unbelievable. I’ve been reborn into a noble family, surrounded by beauty and grace, only to be subjected to this nonsense at night. Someone save me. Lithia? Liana? Anybody?

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out the sounds. But my baby ears seemed to pick up every detail with unsettling clarity.

Francesca, my goddess, my angel... why are you stuck with him? You deserve better. Someone like, I don’t know... me! Well, maybe give me 20 years to grow up, but you get the idea.

The noises eventually faded, replaced by the soothing quiet of the night once more. I stared up at the crib’s canopy, feeling a mixture of irritation and resignation.

Fine. You win this round, Dried Plum. But one day, I’ll grow up, and when I do, I’ll show you what a real gentleman looks like.

With that final thought, I yawned, my baby instincts finally overriding my irritation. Sleep claimed me at last, though my dreams were filled with schemes to reclaim my goddess from the clutches of her lusty husband.

The soft sound of footsteps approached my crib, accompanied by Francesca’s soothing voice. ”Javier, wake up, honey. It’s time for mama to feed you.”

I opened my eyes slowly, greeted by the sight of Francesca leaning over me, still in her nightdress from last night. Her hair was slightly tousled, and she had that natural glow of someone who had just woken up.

Normally, this would be heaven.

But then it came rushing back—the memory of last night. The giggling, the kissing, and... the slapping.

I scrunched up my tiny baby face and turned my head sharply away from her chest, refusing to latch on.

Nope. Not happening. Not until you shower first, lady. I am not risking a mouthful of dried plum residue from that crusty raisin of a man you married. Eww! Just the thought of it makes me want to gag!

Francesca tilted her head, looking concerned. ”What’s wrong, Javier? Why don’t you want it? Are you not hungry?”

Hungry? Sure, I’m hungry. But not that hungry. Hygiene first, goddess. Hygiene! Cleanse yourself of that man’s existence before coming near me.

She gently brought me closer, trying to coax me to nurse. I squirmed, turning my head even farther away.

No way! No drink before clean! I have standards, okay? I don’t wanna taste whatever leftovers from last night are still lingering. Ew, ew, ewww!

Francesca frowned slightly, now clearly worried. ”Javier, are you feeling alright? You’ve never refused before...”

Her warm hands held me securely as she rocked me gently, her expression softening as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

What’s wrong? What’s wrong!? I’ll tell you what’s wrong! I thought, internally screaming. It’s that wrinkly, lusty prune of a husband you were with last night! I’m scarred for life, okay? Let me recover before shoving me into the aftermath of your late-night escapades!

Francesca sighed and kissed my forehead. ”It’s alright, honey. Maybe you’re just not ready yet. Mama will try again later.”

Finally! I thought as she laid me back in the crib. A reprieve! Time to recover from the trauma of this so-called morning routine.

As she walked away, I couldn’t help but let out a small, relieved sigh.

Note to self: Start a baby protest. No feeding until Francesca enforces strict pre-nursing hygiene protocols. I may be a baby, but I refuse to live like this!

Francesca, still holding me, sighed as she walked toward the corner of the room, where another maid waited. This one had ears perched atop her head and a tail that swayed gently behind her.

Oh! Catfolk! My eyes widened. This world just keeps getting better. That’s so awesome!

The maid, dressed in the usual uniform but with slits in the back for her tail, tilted her head slightly, her feline ears twitching.

”What’s wrong, madam?” she asked, her voice soft but curious.

Francesca shifted me slightly in her arms and frowned. ”I don’t know why, but Javier doesn’t want to breastfeed this morning. He’s never refused before.”

The catfolk maid stepped closer, her tail flicking lazily. ”Hmm, that’s odd. May I...?”

Francesca nodded, and the catfolk maid leaned in, sniffing delicately around her. Her ears twitched, and her nose wrinkled slightly before she stepped back, her expression calm but casual.

”Perhaps, madam, you should take a shower or bath first.”

YES! Finally, someone with sense!

Francesca’s cheeks flushed a light pink. ”Oh... do you think that’s it? I didn’t think it would matter...”

Oh, it matters, goddess. It definitely matters. Listen to the wise catmaid and cleanse thyself!

The catfolk maid smiled softly, her tail flicking as she added, ”It’s just a suggestion, Madam. Sometimes babies can be sensitive to smells.”

Francesca laughed lightly, looking both embarrassed and amused. ”I suppose you might be right. I’ll take a bath and try again later.”

Thank you, cat goddess! You’ve saved the day! You’ve dared to say what I couldn’t.

As Francesca walked off, presumably to prepare for her bath, I gazed at the catfolk maid in awe.

Oh, wise feline maiden, I owe you my eternal gratitude. Your courage to tell the goddess what needed to be said has elevated you to hero status in my eyes. Forget marriage—become my lifelong ally!

The catfolk maid turned her attention to me, her soft smile making my heart skip a beat. She reached down, gently adjusting the blanket around me. ”You’re a picky one, aren’t you, young master?”

Picky? No, I just have standards. Big difference.

As peace settled in the room, I let out a contented sigh. Finally, some justice in this world.

( End Of Chapter )