The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

”Uwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!”

The agonized cry echoed through the cabin at an unholy hour.

It was the kind of sound that suggested someone had either lost a limb, discovered bankruptcy, or realized all their stashed snacks had expired at once.

Kyle jolted awake instantly.

”What’s wrong?” he asked in a husky but concerned voice, befitting someone who had just woken up.

”Are you okay?”

But just beside him, Ollie looked absolutely devastated.

”No!” the blonde wailed, eyes watery and hair sticking out in every direction. ”Absolutely nothing happened after waiting for so long! Ahhhhhh Kyleeeee!”

Aforementioned Kyle blinked once.

Twice.

His sleep-addled brain slowly began processing the information in front of him.

Then, very slowly, the events of the previous night replayed in his head.

Or more accurately, replayed around his wife.

Because, in truth, the blonde himself had barely moved.

__

At some point yesterday, Ollie had frozen in place after failing to discover his bloodline ability for the nth time.

Naturally, they thought the mouthwatering dish Luca introduced to all of them was powerful enough to improve his mood.

But despite everyone’s shock at the new discovery of something so unusually named, their assumption still ended up extremely wrong.

Instead, the lighthouse remained frozen in place, a fixture of pure existential dread, as Kyle did absolutely everything for him.

While the world changed around him, Ollie sported the same dazed, constipated expression through it all.

He sat motionless as he was fed, hydrated, and snacked upon. He remained a glassy-eyed passenger as he was scrubbed in a bath with a little yellow ducky which he melancholically accused of also having a bloodline ability. Upon hearing that, Kyle nearly inhaled bathwater.

”...”

”...”

After the unexpected confrontation with an inanimate object, the mop’s hair was diligently dried until it was fluffy, and his limbs maneuvered into his favorite star pajamas. All while sporting the same haunted expression.

He didn’t even blink when he was tucked into bed like a stiff board.

Unfortunately, he remained like that all through the night, staring at the ceiling like he was trying to intimidate his bloodline into awakening through sheer emotional damage.

Until finally—

Morning light began filtering through the cabin windows.

Golden sunlight crept across the floor.

And Ollie, still awake, finally realized—

A whole night had passed.

Nothing happened.

Not one spark.

Not one vision.

Not one mysterious ancestral revelation.

Nothing.

Which led directly to the current intervention.

__

The extremely patient adjutant gathered the lump of blankets and blonde hair closer against his chest.

”Hey, it’s not completely nothing, you know?” Kyle said softly while wrapping both arms around Ollie, who only sagged against him with a heavy sigh.

”There’s already confirmation that you’ve got something. All we need to do now is figure out how it works so you can actually see it in action.”

”Yes...” the blonde mumbled weakly. ”But everyone else already has some sort of idea! They all discovered their abilities in the weirdest ways possible! But me...”

”You,” Kyle interrupted calmly, ”just need to play around more.”

Ollie blinked at him.

”Most of the others only figured things out because they kept moving around and doing unrelated things instead of obsessing over their abilities,” Kyle explained.

”Take Luca, for example. Wasn’t he literally babysitting Princess Nina when he accidentally discovered his own?”

”That’s...” Ollie hesitated.

Kyle poked the tip of his nose lightly.

”I’m serious. If you just keep doing the things you normally do, then eventually something’ll probably happen.”

The blonde finally turned to look at him properly.

”And besides,” Kyle continued, ”just because they manifested something doesn’t mean they fully understand how it works.”

He raised a brow.

”Do you really think my father has figured out what that bouncing bubble on his head actually does?”

”Well...” Ollie squirmed a little in reluctant agreement.

That was true. However, even the sorry mop would’ve loved to have something bouncing on his head. At least with that, he’d have something!

He was deep in thought, but even his pout was interrupted by a sudden question from his partner.

”Did you not sleep?”

The blonde jolted violently after being exposed.

”M-more than not sleeping...” Ollie’s face crumpled tragically. ”I’m even sadder because I didn’t get to properly enjoy last night’s meal!”

Kyle already knew where this was going.

”Instead of eating a whole chicken, I only managed to eat three-fourths of it!” Ollie exclaimed with watery eyes.

The sheer heartbreak in his voice made it sound like he’d suffered a life-altering tragedy.

Heck, he couldn’t even dream about it because he did not sleep!

Normally, he should have been having glorious dreams about juicy meat, fragrant herbs, tasty skin, and how delicious it was to the point that forgetting one’s own name seemed reasonable.

Then there was another matter. What if the other wing tasted different from the right one?

”!!!”

Oh no!

But unfortunately for him, he would never know because he failed to eat the entire thing!

Waaaaah!

Now, whether three-fourths of a whole chicken actually counted as a lack of appetite was probably not something science could reasonably defend.

But for one gluttonous blonde, it was the absolute truth.

Kyle could only chuckle softly.

”Hey, don’t think about it too much. We figured you’d want to eat it again once you felt better, so I asked your brother if we could keep a freshly cooked one in the dungeon inventory for later.”

”!”

Ollie’s entire body trembled.

What?

Really?!

Once again, he realized he had truly married well.

Even if he was a late bloomer, he still had the best sworn brother and the most perfect husband.

His previously gray expression brightened instantly.

Then the blonde puckered his lips expectantly toward Kyle, who laughed under his breath before leaning down to indulge him.

”You know,” Ollie started boldly after the kiss, suddenly empowered, ”I believe we discussed overindulgence earlier... and I know I said that being excessive isn’t good. But because you’ve been so good, I think—”

Smack!

Kyle playfully smacked his squishy behind.

”Hey!” The blonde was about to complain, but didn’t get to do so when his husband spoke.

”For rewards like that,” the adjutant said teasingly, ”wouldn’t it be better to save them for later? Unless my little star wants an added challenge in the form of the dungeon grounds shaking.”

”!!!”

”Oh crap!”

The blonde finally processed what he’d just heard.

”That’s today already, right?!”

”Yes,” Kyle answered calmly. ”But if my wife isn’t satisfied with the kind of shaking we usually do, then perhaps—”

Ollie immediately slapped a hand over his husband’s mouth.

”Ooof!”

”Satisfied!” the blonde screeched. ”Already very satisfied!!!”

Kyle gently pulled the hand away from his mouth.

”I’m glad. But we’ll verify that later. I need to ensure the feedback remains consistent.”

”!!!”

”This animal—!”

There was a distinctly dangerous look in Kyle’s eyes.

Ollie jolted a little too excitedly before scrambling out of bed.

”We must work!” he declared loudly. ”The new calves! We need to make sure they’re all inside! Actually, more importantly, the goats! Especially the kids! They always escape!”

The blonde hurried toward the door, only for Kyle to catch him first and steal one quick kiss first.

”Mmph!”

”Yes,” Kyle said with amusement. ”We’ll work now.”

Then he added casually, ”Though you don’t need to worry too much. Jax insisted on sleeping there last night to ensure the headcount was correct.”

The adjutant thought about teasing a little bit more but his mop decided to sashay away as fast as possible and so he was left there thankful that Ollie was feeling a little bit better.

Hmm...

But as for today’s agenda, what exactly could all this effort be for?

Well—

Simple.

It was all for the long-awaited dungeon upgrade. The very same one scheduled to happen today.