The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

Who would have thought Celine would not be the only one with such a question?

As in the depths of DG’s bustling booth, a posing mecha that thought having one leg up looked cool almost faltered.

Obviously, D-29 couldn’t be caught gasping and expressing opinions unless the little system wanted those crazed researchers all over its expensive body. But the part-time model and full-time eavesdropper simply couldn’t help it.

This couldn’t possibly be real!

As the undisputed star of the security system, D-29 had to continuously look around for inexplicable behaviors and major inconsistencies.

It was a job the little one took seriously for the sake of prosperity and employment, while also being privy to tales unlike the ones it was used to.

But D-29 didn’t expect to witness something beyond inexplicable. Something so unusual that it had to take a break to consult with the extremely reluctant guardian mecha.

”Sid! There’s a major anomaly. I think I must issue an emergency warning!”

”What?” The guardian mecha reacted as one could expect and was ready to inform his masters until the panicked system actually showed him what was wrong.

”Look!”

”...”

”...”

”What exactly am I supposed to be looking at...?”

”What do you mean, what?!”

”Clearly it’s Deputy Officer Curtis and Tech Specialist Eden!”

”I can see that,” Sid said it like he was trying to control his gears from turning ice cold.

”No! With such a reaction, you clearly don’t! Look! They’re kissing! Mwah, mwah, mwah! And just 27.8 seconds ago, they kissed again! Since they’ve finished their portraits, they’ve kissed at least four times.”

”Four!”

”!!!”

”Wait! No. Now every time Lord Curtis gets a prize from the claw machine, they kiss!”

”And he always gets a prize!”

”I thought their questionable behavior was a result of being infected by the suspicious couple I had been monitoring... but no!”

”They had actually started kissing beside Lord Jax’s 8177th great-grandchild before even meeting them!”

”What else could it be but an emergency?”

”...”

”...”

”What exactly is the emergency here?”

”Huh?”

”Yes. Tavian Orell is most definitely an iss—”

”They don’t like each other!” D-29 blurted with a whir.

”What?” Sid paused to ask.

”That’s the emergency. They don’t like each other, but suddenly they’re exhibiting unusual behavior that’s very unlike their everyday behavior!”

If mechas could sigh, the guardian mecha would have done so with the intensity of a destabilized planet.

”No. That’s not unusual for them.”

”???”

”According to the pertinent files I am privy to because of certain circumstances, they even dated before.”

”!!!”

”WHAT? How could that be?!”

”The vitals are all over the place! Cortisol levels are even—”

”What do you mean, how? Don’t you know this already? It’s not often presented like this in your... research materials, but this is simply enemies to lovers in real life.”

It took everything in the guardian mecha to say such words. Never once did he think he would ever utter them. But today, he had to do such a thing to save them all from the protective barriers suddenly going up.

”You don’t usually get to see the vitals of the subjects in your research materials. That’s probably why the current readings don’t make sense.”

”But apparently, that is normal.”

”According to past data I have, which you probably also have,” Sid looked pointedly at the clearly guilty but allegedly innocent white-and-gold mecha, ”increased heart rate, signs of almost having hypertension, and elevated levels of cortisol could just be signs of affection, especially when paired with a few other things.”

”!”

”Like?”

”Like insanity.”

Sid had several examples for that. Like buying off the Empire’s supply of foil for the sake of having a stock. Or launching deep-space explorers over and over without making a peep, just to look for a very particular planet.

There were even those who would hand over explosives even when knowing the legal ramifications of such things being used.

And those who would raid pirate dens in the spirit of alleged competition? They actually exist.

Worse, even in the middle of losing their minds and nearly getting hospitalized, the most rational thoughts of said beings afflicted by the phenomenon would be to start a relationship or to get married, as if their lives depended on it.

”But in the case of the people in question, one Deputy Officer’s rational thought after getting seduced into bridging access to confidential files without his knowledge was to stake his position to vouch for her.”

”!!!”

”So look. Right now, there is a change in the situation, as she is being cornered by that suspicious Tavian from House Orell.”

D-29 whirred as it watched and could not believe what it was witnessing.

__

If the existence of a pair of nauseating creatures were to be taken away from her sight, then Eden would uncharacteristically say that her day wasn’t going so bad.

In fact, it may have been getting a little interesting, as a certain someone seemed to have learned a few tricks.

Grabbing at a particular angle, grazing her lips ”accidentally,” and showing off his ability to earn golden tickets without even sweating were things that Eden particularly enjoyed today.

But it could also be said that she was enjoying it because she couldn’t help but notice the way that woman almost broke a nail every time the annoyingly tall prig leaned in to whisper in her ear.

They were simply sharing well-meaning insults and calling each other names children shouldn’t hear, but it probably didn’t help that every time they did, their lips would brush against each other’s ears.

But it wasn’t her who started that.

So much for being called a seductress when it wasn’t even her hands doing unholy things.

Sure, her lips were another issue, but it could be said that Curtis owned a pair of hands that didn’t match his goody two-shoes reputation.

Then again, it was such a shame he was acting.

But Eden shouldn’t take that to heart.

Especially when it had helped her get to this point.

It was a point that particularly sucked.

Because she had always hated being around this bastard.

But especially when compared to the scent she had gotten used to, Tavian just really smelled like shit.

If not for the whole booth feeling rather fresh, she likely wouldn’t have been able to muster a smile.

But she had to.

She had staked so much into this that she would hate herself if she gave up now.

”Eden?” Tavian said from behind her.

Hook, line, and sinker.

As expected, the man who always went for what was already in the hands of someone else followed her when she said she needed to go to the restroom.

It didn’t sit well with her that the other snake was likely trying to wrap herself around the kissing machine back there, but Eden knew she needed a moment with this guy.

So when he said, ”Did you miss me?” Eden tried her absolute best not to vomit.

She would do it.

She would do it for everything they took away from her.

She smiled as her hand grazed his wrist.

__

And from an unusual hiding place, one little system exclaimed.

”Oh no, she didn’t!”

Oh yes, she did.