The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

It had been two hours since the ”hello” that left Luca frozen for a good five minutes. Even now, he could still remember the chaos that followed.

Even D-29 had buffered.

The little system loaded repeatedly as it verified the existence of the number that had suddenly appeared in their account, a number so large it practically doubled their entire balance in an instant.

While the account owned by Xavier contained far more funds, Luca still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that this was apparently a greeting. A greeting! But apparently, he wasn’t alone, because D-29 also found this scenario absolutely contrary to its database expectations.

Normally, in every case study and drama reference D-29 had prepared, the benefactor’s parents should have offered a sizeable amount of money for the Host to leave the benefactor’s side. The classic ”break-up compensation.”

D-29’s playback library was filled with dramatic simulations—a wealthy mother with professionally done hair standing in a sunlit mansion. The poor partner nearly sprawled on the floor in tears. A blank check thrown down like a guillotine. The parent towering over them with the words: ”Take this money and disappear.” The poor partner clutching the paper dramatically while whispering, ”I’ll never leave him!”

Yes. That was the script D-29 had been preparing for.

It had even calculated what amount would be considered ”acceptable” to make a realistic refusal if such an event ever occurred to its Host.

But what was this?

This wasn’t a rejection fund. This wasn’t an exile fee.

This was... a hello?!

The development was enough to make even the Imperial Crown Prince rub at his temples. And that was before his little money-grubber broke through the haze of shining star coins.

”X-Xavier! Oh no! How do I properly say hello back?!” Luca panicked, hands clutching his head. ”What about sending back more money? But what if I also want to say a longer greeting? Is the price per character?!”

He looked mortified. What if they thought he was disrespectful for taking so long to respond?

Xavier dragged him close and sighed. ”Don’t give back the money. They would probably be sad if you do.”

Also, his little money-grubber might feel unwell for days if the balance in their account suddenly plummeted that dramatically. ”Unwell” was putting it lightly.

Truthfully, Xavier wasn’t even sure why this was happening. But he had a very strong suspicion that it was Nina’s doing. Because otherwise, wouldn’t they have sent treasures, heirlooms, or something that screamed formality?

But funds? That had Nina’s little hands all over it.

Still, he figured this was a good sign. At least their family’s first instinct had been... generous. Embarrassing, but generous and rather accepting. If anything, a bit too accepting.

The real danger was if his parents got too curious. Because if they decided to take matters into their own hands, Luca might not survive the shock.

”Then what should I do?” Luca’s eyes trembled pitifully as he looked up at him.

Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose. It would be impossible to convince him that nothing was required in return. That this was merely a gift.

So he tried another approach. ”Actually, anything you send them would be good enough. Provided it’s something you chose with them in mind, then it should do well.”

Easier said than done.

Because Luca remembered full well how the Emperor seemed to enjoy giving gifts, while the Empress seemed to value quality time.

So how could he just send any gift?!

This felt harder than building an entire biomecha.

What if he just sent one of those over? Would that be thoughtful enough?

Probably not. Because he hadn’t even had the chance to assess them properly for suitability! So clearly they’d think it was just a random mecha without any thought?!

The horror!

So with this sudden concern, Luca sat outside, staring at nothing, his thoughts heavy. He rubbed his temples as if a solution might pop out if he pressed hard enough.

Then he heard it.

The joyous laughter of the elders.

When he turned, they were all seated together, looking far too relaxed for people who had lived through centuries of disasters. Elder Shen was slapping his knee so hard the chair beneath him creaked, Elder Feng was wheezing like an overused bellows, Elder Wei looked smug, and Elder Pao Xi... well, he was smirking like he had caused half of it.

”Lord!” Elder Shen spotted him first. ”Come here, boy!”

Luca trudged over and greeted them respectfully, but his expression was downcast.

The elders froze.

Their lord was usually cheerful, upbeat, and annoyingly optimistic. To see him looking like a wilted cabbage was unsettling.

”What’s wrong?” Elder Feng asked immediately, peering at him as if checking for broken bones.

”It’s... well...” Luca hesitated, then sighed. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to tell them. ”Something happened earlier. But I don’t really know what to do about it, and maybe... maybe you could give me some advice?”

The elders leaned forward in unison.

So Luca relayed what had happened.

By the time he was done, the elders were blinking at him like he had just told them the sun rose in the west.

”...That’s good news,” Elder Pao Xi said flatly.

”Very good news,” Elder Shen echoed.

Luca puffed his cheeks. ”But I don’t know what to give back! I wasn’t taught these customs. D-29 searched, but all it found were stories where it’s always treasures, jewels, or worse... agreements. I don’t have anything like that!”

The elders stared, then slowly exchanged glances.

”And besides...” Luca went on, ”One of them seems to really enjoy giving gifts, while the other prefers quality time. How am I supposed to match that?”

The elders sat in silence for a long, heavy moment, their eyes glancing at each other as if communicating silently, until Elder Wei cleared his throat.

”Ahem. Then what about this? I think we have something you could send over.”

Luca’s head snapped up. ”Huh? Really?!”

”Yes. Ehem!” Elder Wei straightened, pretending to be dignified while the others looked suspiciously smug. ”We believe this would help with your problem. It’s something we’ve worked on for a while now, and we think it could help you.”

”Wow! Thank you! But... what is it?”

”Well...you see...”

That was how, later that day, four ancient elders and one very young dungeon lord could be found skulking around corners like guilty conspirators. They whispered in tight clusters, shuffled boxes back and forth, and peeked over their shoulders so much that they looked less like the Empire’s wisdom and more like a gang of suspicious merchants up to no good.

That same evening, Luca huffed as he ran through the hallways, clutching a space button. He caught Killian just as the man was about to begrudgingly return to work.

”You’re saying you want me to drop this package off for the palace?” Killian asked slowly. His expression twisted, like he had just realized Luca no longer valued him and wanted to send him off to an early grave.

But then Luca looked up at him with such desperate eyes that Killian’s heart wavered.

”To whom is this for?” he asked cautiously.

Luca raised a trembling hand, summoned a spiritual barrier, and whispered, ”For Xavier’s family.”

Killian’s heart stopped. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he had actually died.

”His... family?” he stammered. ”You mean THAT family? Why?!”

Luca bit his lip, his face burning red. ”Because earlier they sent a really nice gift. They said hello. A-and I haven’t replied yet! If I send this by courier, it’ll take longer, and they might think I’m not interested in responding back!”

”WHAT?!”

Killian’s mind went blank, then raced in circles. If Luca had already received a greeting, then... then that meant they already knew. Which meant he no longer had to explain anything.

Absolution. Sweet, glorious absolution.

Suddenly, Killian’s face shifted. One moment he looked haggard from work, the next he looked like a man reborn. His eyes gleamed like he had just shed decades of worry. His shoulders straightened. His entire being radiated smug relief.

Luca blinked, unnerved. ”Big brother... is everything okay? If it’s too difficult, I could just use a courier. No need to trouble you with this...”

Killian waved him off with manic energy. ”I’ll definitely bring this! Definitely!” He clutched the button like a sacred relic. ”Who do you want me to give it to?”

”Oh! Then please give these to Princess Nina! This one’s for her, and this one’s for her parents.” Luca pointed at two boxes, one cute and pink, the other ornate and regal.

”Don’t worry, I’ll get these into her hands safely!” Killian cackled, his voice echoing down the hall.

Luca tilted his head, worried. Was Killian... sick?

But no. How could he be sick, when in reality, Killian had just rid himself of one of the greatest burdens in his short, beleaguered life?

He looked like a man who had ascended to heaven... but had he really?