The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

If there was anything Luca was certain about, it was that he needed to make an entirely new suit for actual mecha piloting.

His cheeks flushed as he shuffled determinedly across the workshop, walking just a little... askew. Ahem.

Xavier had asked him at least three times if he wanted to rest longer, but Luca waved him off every time. ”I’m fine! I took a healing pill, didn’t I? I’m perfectly good to work!”

He had work. Lots of work. And an overhaul to plan.

After all, there was no way he could pilot properly when every time he thought about the current suit, his mind went straight back to that.

To last night. To when his husband decided that a ”full body inspection and massage” was part of Xavier’s expression of thanks for the reward he received.

The memory made his ears burn red.

Luca shook his head rapidly, forcing his mind back to focus.

That was when D-29, who had just returned from a very suspiciously long ”research” trip watching projected dramas with Sid and D-64, chirped in.

”Host, should this project be abandoned?”

”Oh no, no! The two finished suits... I’ll just keep them,” Luca muttered, face heating up again. ”But we need to make a different one with appropriate sensitivity...”

”Are the values that off?” the little system asked, blissfully unaware of last night’s scandal. ”What about the larger suit? Have you tested it already?”

”Uhh, no!” Luca spluttered. ”Well, um, maybe test that some other time! Right now, we need to finish all the other projects! And the mechas! Yes, the mechas!”

And he did just that, tinkering away with single-minded determination. He was adjusting the shield he’d been building when—

”Brother!” Ollie burst in, panting with urgency. ”I think you really need to see this! The Elders... they might be coming out today!”

”Eh?”

Before Luca could even set his tools down, Ollie grabbed his wrist and dragged him out.

What greeted him outside made his jaw drop.

The clearing where they had tried planting various trees and plants from Tortie’s back now looked like an ancient, overgrown forest.

”!!!”

”What happened here?!” Luca gawked, staring at the towering greenery that looked as if it had been growing for decades, not days.

When the Elders had first secluded themselves, the environment had already seemed to stir with joy. Even Tortie, who normally never stirred from his peaceful sunbathing, had crawled out to watch them enter the cave.

By the second day, wildflowers had begun sprouting across the stone, vines curling where none had existed before.

But this... this was on a whole other level.

Luca turned toward Ollie, eyes wide. His brother’s expression mirrored his own.

Then, just like characters from one of D-29’s ”research” dramas, their shoulders began shaking. Until both of them burst into laughter so loud and unrestrained that the nearby people flinched.

But how could they not rejoice? The Elders had once again given them something impossible, something miraculous, something to be excited about.

They weren’t exactly aware of what the other things they planted were, but research could come later. For now, the simple fact that all this life existed was enough to make the two brothers twirl and skip across the grass in wild delight.

They only stopped when a sound rumbled across the clearing, low and resonant, like the voice of the earth itself.

GUUUUUH—

Everyone froze.

It was Tortie.

The colossal tortoise in his tiny scarfed body let out a deep, ancient groan that sent tremors through the ground, silencing the air.

And then—

The shrubs and bent trees covering the cave entrance began to move. They creaked and shifted aside as though obeying a command, parting slowly.

A blinding light spilled forth.

The brilliance forced everyone to shield their eyes again.

When the light finally dimmed enough to see, silence fell.

And then, without exception, every single one of them—from the humans to the dwarf, from the mechas to the magnificent tortoise—tilted their heads at the exact same angle.

Their gazes swept from the elders’ feet upward, their expressions shifting with each passing second until they all arrived at the same stunned conclusion.

”Eh???”

”???”

”!!!”

The elders stood tall, faces raised in pride, convinced their new bodies would draw cheers, awe, perhaps even worship. They waited for the shouts of joy. The reverent cries. The applause.

Instead, there was only bewilderment.

The silence stretched until, finally, the elders opened their eyes fully and saw it for themselves. Rows of curious gazes, lips pressed tight as if holding back something dangerous. They glanced at each other.

And then—

Screams split the forest.

If flying birds had existed in the dungeon space, they would have burst from the trees in terror.

Elder Shen, Elder Feng, and Elder Wei immediately collapsed into a chaotic tangle of flailing arms, shrill wails, and frantic gestures. What looked like dignified sages one moment became nothing more than three panicked old dogs snapping and barking at each other.

”What did you do to your face?!” Elder Shen screeched.

”My face?! That’s my face!” Elder Feng barked back, jabbing a finger at him.

”You shameless thieves!” Elder Wei growled, clutching at his cheeks like he could peel them off.

Ollie’s eyes twitched as he looked between the three of them, all identical from the jawline up. ”...Are you triplets?”

The reaction was instant.

”NO!” they bellowed in unison, whirling on each other with such synchronized fury that it only made the resemblance worse.

The argument spiraled into absurdity.

”Don’t believe their looks! That’s Erlang Shen’s face!”

”You say that when you’re sporting the same face!”

”How could you pick the same thing when there are so many other faces!!!” Elder Feng snapped

”You fools, at least pick someone of the same height! I picked this because we’re at least close in stature!” Elder Wei yelled, clutching his hair. ”The shells adapt to your bones and height, yes, but the rest was free to shape. How could you all end up with the same one!”

The crowd stared in silence.

The elders, meanwhile, devolved further.

”You were planning to pass yourself off as good-looking when in reality you looked like a dried walnut!” Elder Feng accused.

”And you dare talk? Hypocrite! You copied the same face as me!” Elder Wei shot back.

”I forgot what I even looked like!” Elder Shen snarled, jabbing at both of them. ”Forgive me for not being narcissistic enough to stare at my reflection every day!”

”You mean you conveniently forgot because it was too painful!”

”You three are a disgrace!”

The fight carried on with all the dignity of a fish market brawl.

Finally, Elder Pao Xi stepped forward, looking perfectly calm in his unchanged, new shell. He greeted the others with a bow before sighing at the chaos.

”Let them squabble,” he said dryly. ”They have no choice but to be brothers now. They should have just loved themselves.”

The crowd snorted, some covering their mouths to hide the laughter that was bubbling up.

The three froze mid-argument, and then Elder Shen pointed an accusing finger.

”You only say that because you’ve managed to get your hair back, you old geezer!”

”!!!”

The clearing erupted.

Laughter rippled across humans and spirits alike, even Tortie let out a low rumble that sounded suspiciously amused. The tension broke, replaced by joy and disbelief.

Not only had the space been blessed with a miracle of growth, but they now had four elders who looked decades younger than they had any right to be.

Even if three of them were still trying to throttle each other.