The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

Xavier’s plan was easier said than done.

Especially after figuring out a piece of crucial information.

But when he heard the explanation, he felt like a mountain pulverized to the ground.

When he asked if Luca would like to test their matching rate, he figured they could do a trial and error.

As someone who was in top shape, he might be able to survive some of this backlash. Especially since he wasn’t even sure what an Esper was.

He survived last time, right?

So, when Luca asked how they would test it, Xavier said they would follow the instructions in the book.

”...”

When Luca didn’t answer him for a while, Xavier thought Luca was likely averse to being with him and that he likely had a hard time during that XXX.

Instead, he was surprised to hear him say, ”What if it doesn’t work again?”

”The first one, it didn’t work. So, I had to try another method... What if it didn’t work because we have a low match rate?” Luca nibbled on his lower lip as he remembered how his face stung after that.

And yet, it still didn’t work.

But, of course, it wouldn’t, not after instigating friction instead of a transfer with his face.

The Crown Prince was surprised to hear about the source of his hesitation. And figured he ought to stop using his brain to assume things.

”But weren’t you guiding since the first day we met? And those other instances, too.”

A lot of instances, in fact.

And as much as he didn’t want to revisit those events that he had locked up somewhere in his memory, it was vital for him to know if that had been considered guiding.

”I think so too, so maybe we could only do low-contact guiding?” Luca was worried because it was the one in that book about married guides that didn’t work.

And they were supposed to be married now, so what if he kills Xavier because of it?

”The guiding before was considered low-contact?” Xavier asked as he remembered how he had been groped, stroked, and hugged, only to be told now that it was low-contact.

”And you’re saying we failed to do the high-contact guiding in this book?” Xavier’s eye twitched at this thought.

Somehow, he wasn’t sure if it was his bruised ego speaking or that small voice in his mind screaming that something was wrong about all this again.

So, he asked, determined to get to the bottom of the thing he had failed at.

”Which one of these did we fail? Could you tell me the page?”

Luca hesitated but turned the pages of the opened book. It was a few pages at a time, and Xavier could only wonder what had to be so bad that Luca’s expression looked somber.

Then he turned all the way back to page 2 before pushing the book back over to the stunned Xavier.

And stunned would be the least of it.

Stupefied.

Mortified.

Dead.

Something like that, and in that order.

But Xavier held on to hope.

What if?

”Tell me, the XXX that we failed at was ’An intimate hug and rub’?” It was a harrowing ordeal, but Xavier had to brace himself because it felt harder than ramming into a corruption horde.

Xavier wondered how to ask when to ask, and frankly, if it should be asked, but he felt like his conscience would never forgive him if he didn’t.

”How intimate was this hugging and rubbing?” He felt like the Imperial tutors would rise from the grave one by one, but here we are, reduced to a prince asking about this.

”I felt like it was intense enough because it hurt.” Luca touched his cheeks as if remembering how difficult it was for him when he tried it, only to resort to failure.

Xavier felt like a pervert as he heard this, and while he didn’t have the time to play around as a busy Royal with all sorts of responsibilities, he had heard and seen enough to conjure images in his head.

What kind of rubbing did he do for his face to hurt like that? And he did remember seeing his face back then like it was about to be swollen.

”Did I force you into anything, Luca? You can be honest.”

He wasn’t sure what was worse because this page was actually the introduction to all types of intimate rubbings, like dry humping and oral. He didn’t have to be able to read the text because the graphics were rather self-explanatory.

Was he a closeted predator? Xavier thought the worst about himself when Luca suddenly sighed before dissecting his very scientific movements.

”The text I read before said to vary the rubbing. But one must remember to do it harder and faster towards the end. I followed it but failed to get a positive response from you.” Luca pouted as he knew he read it right.

And he did.

It’s just that he didn’t get to read what was to be rubbed.

The prince was scandalized.

Was Luca saying he was impotent? Is that why it failed?

Upon learning this horrifying information, the mountain giant suddenly felt small, but he had to stop his internal struggle because the chipmunk said something disturbing.

”I also didn’t think your chest would be too hard. It felt like rubbing against a washboard.” Luca didn’t want to do it again and felt he’d have to come clean about why he’d rather not test that again.

What?

”Chest?”

The little chipmunk nodded earnestly.

He looked aggrieved as he described how hard he rubbed his face against Xavier’s chest before nearly bursting into tears as the Prince’s condition continued to get worse.

”And it didn’t even work! I feel like I worked hard and followed the instructions.”

Xavier’s world stopped.

He felt like he was going crazy.

He was going to sound so crass, but if he didn’t ask, he’d likely die before the day ended.

”Luca, which route did you take?” Xavier asked while turning to page 3, then pointing at the different options.

”???”

”There were options?” Luca blinked up at Xavier, whose heart really was dropping by the second.

”You mean, you didn’t know?”

”Well, I read page 2...and only page 2,” Luca droned off sheepishly.

Xavier wanted to bang his face against the table but thought the table might not survive.

It was an ironic situation.

The Imperial Crown Prince was marked safe from sudden impotence but was just promoted to a criminal who took a wife because his chest was rubbed.

”So, our first XXX that failed was a face-to-chest rubbing, am I correct?”

The little chipmunk nodded as Xavier’s blood kept rising.

Okay, calm down.

Maybe there was hope that he didn’t just tie the little money-grubber to him because of a mere chest rubbing.

Maybe he didn’t ruin a life just because he assumed things.

”I see. Then what about the XXX that worked?” Xavier asked calmly.

Luca figured he’d show the reference material D-29 used when instructing him, but he decided against it because even the system found it somewhat difficult to understand.

That was Luca’s unconscious consideration for the Prince, who was on the brink of collapse and would’ve likely been pushed to the edge upon seeing a Tesserian children’s book.

”It’s cardiopulmonary resuscitation.” Luca showed an expression of relief.

”But without chest compressions.” He pointed out.

And Xavier figured he needed to be compressed in a small ball, then thrown somewhere far away.

Yeah. There was no hope.

They got married because he likely took this chipmunk’s first kiss.

He felt weak everywhere and likely would need an actual CPR soon.