Soul Harvester: I Can Evolve My Traits Endlessly

Instead, right before Lucien’s horrified, watering gaze, the protagonist’s chiseled face contorted into an expression of such pity that Lucien genuinely wished the earth would open up and swallow the entire floating continent whole.

”Lucien...” Cassian called, his voice trembling with suppressed laughter.

Cassian took two steps into the room, sank directly onto one knee beside Lucien’s prone body on the rug, and placed his warm, calloused hand over Lucien’s trembling shoulder.

”Look at you,” Cassian whispered, his voice thick with repressed tears of suprresed laughter. ”You took the burden upon yourself. You stayed awake through the freezing mountain night... monitoring the lines.... waiting for the report... burning your own lifeforce to ensure our victory was clean.”

Lucien opened his mouth.

He wanted to scream: ”I HAVE A COLD, YOU ABSOLUTE LUNATIC! I WAS EATING JAM! AND I FORGOT TO CLOSE THE WINDOW!”

What actually emerged from his ruined, phlegm-choked windpipe was a pathetic, high-pitched, gargling wheeze:

”Ah... khhh... g-go... away...”

Cassian closed his eyes, his jaw tightening as he gave Lucien’s shoulder a firm, grounding squeeze that nearly cracked Lucien’s collarbone.

”You need not speak, my friend,” Cassian declared, his voice ringing with an inescapable brotherhood. ”Your actions have spoken for you. The rot has been purged. House Valemont remembers its debts.”

Cassian opened his eyes, looking down into Lucien’s glazed, dying gaze with an intensity that promised zero future privacy for the rest of Lucien’s natural life.

”Rest now, Lucien Everhart. Your battle is won. From this day forth... I will become your shield.”

Behind him, Silas leaned into the room, winking shamelessly at Lucien’s prone form. ”And I brought you more strawberry jam, my clever little prince. I know how much you love it.”

”And I brought the lung-cleansing leeches!” Lyra squealed with pure joy, shaking her brass jar. ”They only burrow into the chest cavity ten percent of the time!”

Lucien lay pinned beneath the Hero’s iron grip on the floor of his own bedroom.

And deep within his fever-cooked skull, a familiar, crystalline chime rang out with pure mockery:

DING!

[ NARRATIVE LOCK-IN ]

Target: Cassian Valemont (The Astral Sovereign)

Bond Status: [ETERNAL, UNSHAKEABLE CHIVALRIC BROTHERHOOD]

Hero Protection Protocol: [ACTIVE — PERMANENT ATTACHMENT]

Target: Silas Nightingale

Bond Status: [DEDICATED PERSONAL HARASSMENT COURIER]

Salted Fish Life Expectancy: 0.00%

System Congratulations: You have successfully made yourself the most important person in the protagonist’s emotional universe.]

Lucien slowly laid his cheek back down against the Persian rug, closed his eyes, and let out a single, wet, ragged sneeze directly into Cassian Valemont’s polished silver gauntlet.

”HEEECK-SHOOOO.”

”Fascinating,” Cassian whispered softly, not even wiping the gauntlet, his eyes shining with pride. ”Even his sneezes carry the defiant fire of an unyielding spirit.”

Lucien groaned into the carpet, praying for the sweet, merciful release of the Netherworld.

The Grand Celestial Spire of Astraea did not merely celebrate magical aptitude; it weaponized it into a towering spectacle of architectural condescension.

Constructed from three hundred vertical cubits of diamond-veined white marble that had been quarried from the ribcage of an ancient petrified earth titan, the amphitheater could seat six thousand pampered noble scions, four hundred academic inquisitors, and an entire legion of armored imperial guards tasked with ensuring no one accidentally detonated a forbidden bloodline spell during the opening invocations.

High above the tiered galleries, stained-glass skylights filtered the harsh autumn sun into dramatic beams of violet, gold, and azure.

Down in the sunken pit of the arena floor sat the centerpiece of the imperial apparatus: the Grand Astral Orb.

It was a sphere of pure, solidified primordial aether roughly the size of a hay wagon, hovering four inches above a runic plinth carved from obsidian.

It hummed.

It did not hum softly; it emitted a deep, dental-filling-rattling frequency that smelled faintly of burnt copper, ozone, and generational trauma.

At nine o’clock sharp on Friday morning, Lucien Alaric Everhart stood in the third row of the auxiliary staging pen, wrapped in a high-collared navy-blue coat that had been lined with three layers of enchanted goose down to prevent his still-tender bronchial tubes from executing another violent rebellion.

His nose was no longer actively dripping, but it possessed the bright, radiant hue of a ripe winter radish.

Beneath his wool trousers, his knees felt suspiciously like cold porridge.

His pockets were stuffed with four silk handkerchiefs, two mentholated lozenges, and a half-eaten almond pastry he had managed to smuggle past Edwin’s eagle-eyed breakfast inspection.

Beside him, Rowan Ashford was vibrating.

It was not a metaphorical tremor.

Rowan’s heels were drumming a rapid-fire, frantic rhythm against the polished flagstones that sounded like an agitated woodpecker assaulting a hollow tree.

His auxiliary wind-division sash was twisted around his ribs like an emergency bandage, his fingers were white-knuckled as he clutched Lucien’s left sleeve, and his golden-brown eyes were dilated to the point where his irises were almost black.

”Lucien,” Rowan squeaked, his voice pitching into a frequency typically reserved for bats and terrified rodents. ”Lucien, look at the plinth. The obsidian has blood grooves. Why does a measuring sphere have blood grooves?! What if the orb requires a biological sacrifice to calibrate?! What if it takes my spleen?! I’ve heard rumors that second-sons from the southern baronies get absorbed into the core to power the central heating during winter!”

”Rowan,” Lucien sighed, staring dead ahead with the glassy, unblinking eyes of an overworked retail supervisor on inventory night. ”The orb does not eat spleens. The grooves are runic channels for dissipating elemental backlash. If the empire wanted your spleen, they would have taxed it at the border.”

”You don’t know that!” Rowan whimpered, burying his nose into Lucien’s shoulder seam, leaving a faint streak of nervous facial oil across the fine wool. ”And look up there! In the third private balcony! That’s Duke Thorne’s second cousin! He’s holding an opera glass! He’s staring at us! He knows we’re weak! He’s calculating how many copper coins he can extort from our corpses!”

”Let him calculate,” Lucien muttered, shifting his weight. ”He can buy a commemorative wreath for my academic career. In thirty minutes, the orb will flash grey, I will receive my certificate of uselessness, and by noon I will be back in the solarium with a fresh pot of chamomile tea. The salted fish does not fear the fisherman when the net is designed for sharks.”

It was a beautiful, comforting fantasy.

Unfortunately, Lucien’s internal narrative-alarm chose that exact microsecond to unleash a shrill, deafening blast of static directly behind his temples.

DING!

The sound did not politely shimmer into existence; it slammed into his ocular nerves like an iron shovel hitting dry clay.

[ CEREMONY WARNING ]

Location: Grand Celestial Spire / The Eye of Astraea

Host Physical Status: Recovering from Febrile Incompetence

Current Mana Conductivity: 0.0001% (Slightly worse than wet gravel)

[Spiritual Lattice Assessment]

• Latent Soul Density: 27.4 (Abnormal / Cosmic Weight)

• Dormant Trait [Infinite Soul]: STIRRING

• SSS-Rank Core Integrity: 99.8% (Pressurized like an unvented boiler)

System Message: The Grand Astral Orb was designed to measure rain. It is about to be introduced to a oceanic trench. Brace yourself.]

Lucien’s right eye gave that familiar, frantic flutter.

”No,” he whispered under his breath, clenching his fists inside his down-lined pockets. ”No unvented boilers. We are playing dead. You are a dormant piece of UI software. You do not interact with the hardware. You straight go to sleep.”

”Lord Lucien Everhart!” a booming, magisterial voice echoed from the center of the arena floor.

Standing beside the obsidian plinth was Grand Proctor Vane, an academic wrapped in seventy pounds of purple velvet and golden ermine trim.

His long white beard was braided with silver rune-bells that chimed softly whenever he sneezed, and in his right hand he held an enormous quill carved from the flight feather of an astral roc.

”Step forward to the plinth,” the proctor droned, adjusting his brass-rimmed spectacles with the soul-dead boredom of a bureaucrat who had overseen five thousand consecutive adolescent identity crises. ”Standard protocol. Right palm upon the focus-lens. Do not sneeze on the aether. Do not invoke your ancestors. Five seconds of steady breath.”

The tiered galleries fell into a hushed, expectant murmur.

”Look, it’s Duke Darius’s second son.”

”The one who took the claw in the catacombs?”

”I heard his core turned to talcum powder.”

”A pity. He has such wonderful cheekbones for a man who is on the brink of a funeral monument.”