The Overlord of Puluo

Chapter 308: The Gramophone’s New Skill

An old man who was farming said Little Gen’s golden juice looked terrible.

Little Gen was clearly unhappy.

”Old sir, this ladleful may not look like much, but if you spread it properly, it’s enough to fertilize one-sixth of an acre. If you still think it isn’t enough, I can give you the whole bucket. But I don’t like hearing you casually call it terrible. Do you even know what Daoist Path I cultivate?”

The old man smiled. ”What else could you be? Judging by your outfit, you are obviously a Gold Cultivator.”

Little Gen froze. Gold Cultivators were rare enough, yet this old man had recognized him at a glance.

”Since you know I am a Gold Cultivator, you are still saying my golden juice looks terrible?”

”I meant exactly what I said. Terrible quality. Your golden juice doesn’t even have a smell.”

As the old man spoke, he reached out and touched the golden juice in the ladle.

Little Gen quickly pulled the ladle back. ”Old sir, you can’t touch this. It won’t be easy to wash off.”

The old man had already touched it, so Little Gen searched for powder to help him clean his hand, but the old man waved him off.

”No need to go through all that trouble,” the old man said. ”Smell it yourself. Does it have any scent?”

Little Gen leaned in and sniffed the old man’s hand. Sure enough, there was no smell at all.

Did I take the wrong golden juice? Or does this old man have some other tricks?

There was no way Little Gen had taken the wrong golden juice. At this point, Little Gen felt a little afraid.

The old man put down his hoe and smiled brightly. ”What level are you?”

”That isn’t something you should ask,” Little Gen said as he took two steps back.

The old man glanced at the five buckets on his back. ”Since you are carrying five buckets, does this mean you are at level five?”

Little Gen puffed out his chest at once. ”That’s right. I am at level five!”

Of course, Little Gen was not a level-five cultivator. The last time he met the Peddler, he had bought ten buckets. He had only carried five on his back because he simply couldn’t carry the other five. For now, he had set the other five aside as spares.

The old man shook his head. ”If you were truly at level five, then the quality of your golden juice is so very terrible. A single splash of golden juice from a level-five cultivator should be able to rot a living person into mud.”

The old man waved his hand, and one of the buckets vanished from Little Gen’s back.

While Little Gen was still standing there in shock, the old man took a small spoon from his robes, stirred the bucket a few times, scooped up a spoonful of golden juice, and flung it onto a nearby rock.

Sizzling filled the air as the rock melted into sludge.

Little Gen was so frightened that his buckets nearly slipped from his back.

The old man held up the small spoon with a smile. ”Tell me the truth. What level are you really?”

Little Gen puffed out his chest with all the confidence he could muster. ”I am at level five!”

”You don’t even know your own limits when you brag!” the old man snapped. ”Golden juice like this is barely level three!”

It’s good enough for level three?

Little Gen was only a level-two Gold Cultivator. At any other time, he might have felt a little proud that he could make level-three golden juice. However, this was no time to feel proud. He still had no idea where this strange old man had come from.

”Well, well. So there are still people left in this Daoist Path, and a stubborn little fellow too. Producing golden juice isn’t all sweat and strain, you know. There is a trick to it. Put your buckets down first and watch how I do it.”

***

Li Banfeng brought Cao Zhigang to Blue Poplar Village and searched everywhere for Little Gen.

Many people in the village knew Little Gen. They all said he had gone off cultivating with buckets on his back, but no one could say exactly where he had gone. No one was willing to watch him cultivate either.

Since they could not rely on Little Gen alone to activate the land, Li Banfeng had Cao Zhigang recruit a group of workers from Blue Poplar Village.

The village had many hunters, and quite a few of them had worked in land activation before. Since Li Qi offered generous pay, plenty of people signed up. However, the rules had to be made clear first. Once the land was activated, they had to become landowners.

Cao Zhigang said, ”Master Qi, they are activating the land for you, so you should be the landowner. You have already paid them properly. Why are you still being so generous?”

Li Banfeng shook his head. ”This land deity follows different rules. Whoever activates the land must become its landowner.”

Cao Zhigang froze. ”There’s a rule like that? Isn’t that just handing those hunters a huge bargain?”

”Whether it’s a bargain is another matter.”

The next day, Little Gen still had not returned, but that was nothing unusual. Whenever Little Gen went out to cultivate, he sometimes disappeared for days at a time.

Li Banfeng led more than fifty people toward the new land. Back then, he had managed to make the return trip in less than a day because he was a level-six Wanderlust Cultivator.

These people did not have that kind of speed, so the journey would take much longer.

***

He Haisheng got off the train and casually bought a newspaper at the station.

The headline on the front page reported that the Lu Family’s private train had been attacked, and eleven support hooks had died in the battle.

Who would dare attack the Lu Family’s private train?

This was not just a provocation against the Lu Family. Anyone who made a move on a train was also offending the Border Controller.

He Haisheng skimmed through the article, hailed a rickshaw at the station entrance, and went to the He Family’s main residence.

He Haiqin was in the dining room, gnawing on a pork knuckle. When he heard He Haisheng had returned, he hurried to the main hall to greet him. ”Third Brother, why are you back? Didn’t I tell you to keep watch over Jiaqing?”

He Haisheng glanced around. He Haiqin understood at once and led him into the study.

”What happened?”

He Haisheng lowered his voice. ”Brother, something’s wrong with Jiaqing.”

He Haiqin froze. ”What happened? Are the physicians in the Outer Provinces not treating him properly? Have Jiaqing’s injuries gotten worse?”

”Brother, I am not talking about his injuries.” He Haisheng let out a heavy sigh. ”I think he’s hiding something from you.”

He Haiqin remained calm and asked, ”What is he hiding from me?”

”I found this in Jiaqing’s hospital room.” He Haisheng said as he took out a wooden box.

He Haiqin took the wooden box, broke the seal, and lifted the lid. At once, a thick medicinal fragrance rolled out.

”Golden Essence Pills?” He Haiqin said after he examined the color and luster of the pills.

He Haisheng responded, ”Top-quality Golden Essence Pills. Thirty of them. A whole thirty. Tell me, Brother, where do you think a thing like this came from?”

He Haiqin looked at the pills and said, ”My guess is that the Crimson Lotus made them.”

”Wasn’t Crimson Lotus taken back to Puluo Province? Whether it was that friend of his, Li Banfeng, or his fiancee, Lu Xiaolan, someone must have taken the Crimson Lotus back. He shouldn’t still be in Jiaqing’s hands. So why did these pills end up in the hospital?”

He Haiqin put the pills back into the box and asked, ”Where did you find them?”

”In the bathroom,” He Haisheng said. ”That day, I was dying for a smoke, so I lit one in his hospital room bathroom. Because of the smoke, I noticed the medicinal scent. Then I found a hidden compartment in the wall behind the toilet, and the pills were inside.

”Jiaqing must have opened that compartment himself. He must have hidden the pills there too. Brother, you were right. Jiaqing really is hiding something from us.”

He Haiqin fell silent for a moment, then burst out laughing.

There was a rare sense of relief in that laugh, as if a weight had finally slipped from his shoulders.

He Haisheng froze. ”Brother, what are you laughing at?”

He Haiqin sighed through his laughter. ”If he really wanted to hide them, you would never have found them.”

”What do you mean by that?”

”If he can fool Puluo Province, do you really think he can’t fool you? He left those pills in the bathroom on purpose. He wanted you to find them, and he wanted you to bring them to me.”

He Haiqin put the pill box away, returned to the dining room, and went back to gnawing on his pork knuckle. His appetite was excellent. He even pulled out a chair for He Haisheng and said, ”Don’t just stand there watching. Come eat with me!”

He Haisheng ate two pieces of beef, then shook his head. ”Brother, I still don’t understand.”

He Haiqin smiled. ”You don’t need to understand. Just hurry back to the Outer Provinces and keep an eye on my son for me.”

He Haisheng kept him company for a while longer before returning to his room to rest.

Once He Haiqin had eaten and drunk his fill, he went back to his room, opened the pill box, and muttered to himself, ”You played your little tricks, but at least you still know how to show some respect to your old man. I didn’t raise you for nothing.”

He wanted to take one of the pills, but was still feeling a bit hesitant. In the end, he made up his mind. Forget it. I will find a Medicine Cultivator tomorrow and have the pills checked for poison.

***

He Haisheng returned to Yuezhou and went straight to the Third Hospital. Sitting beside the hospital bed, he silently watched He Jiaqing lying there.

Then he bent down and whispered into He Jiaqing’s ear, ”Third Uncle, you will have to lie here in my place for a few days. Once I am done handling things, I will let you go.”

***

Inside the Pocket Dwelling, Hong Ying sat before a mirror, putting on makeup. Suddenly, she turned to the Gramophone.

”Xiaowan, do these eyes of mine look seductive?”

Huff, huff, huff.

The Gramophone burst into loud laughter. ”What eyes? You clearly drew those on with rouge!”

”So what if I drew them?” Hong Ying snapped. ”Don’t they look good? At least I have a face now. You don’t even have anywhere to draw yours!”

Over this period, the tip of Hong Ying’s spear had gradually become rounder. It no longer carried the same icy sharpness as before, and there was even a faint rosy tint to it now. From a distance, if one did not look too carefully, it really did resemble a human face.

The Gramophone snorted. ”What’s the rush? Give me a few more tries, and I can do it too!”

Hong Ying laughed. ”How many times have you tried already? You have learned plenty of useless tricks, but you still can’t grow a single strand of hair.”

The Gramophone did not care at all. ”What’s the point of growing all that hair anyway?”

”How can you call it useless?” Hong Ying sat there combing her hair with great care. ”Without this hair, how am I supposed to look like a woman?”

The Glove leaned toward the Tang Saber and lowered his voice. ”A spear sitting in front of a mirror, combing its hair. Tell me, isn’t that a frightful thing?”

Hong Ying lifted a foot and kicked the Glove into the wall.

The Tang Saber retreated a few steps and gave two dry laughs. ”General Hong’s hair is beautiful. This humble general thinks it looks very beautiful!”

Holding the comb, Hong Ying said to the Gramophone, ”Let me tell you, I don’t just have hair on my head. I have hair in other places too!”

The Gramophone sneered. ”What? Did you grow a beard too?”

”You vicious woman! Go on, keep running that mouth of yours. In a few days, I will seduce your man right out from under you, and then we will see if your heart aches.”

”You wretch woman, you need the skill for that first.”

”How do I not have the skill?” Hong Ying snapped. ”I have everything now. In a few days, once I grow a mouth, I will be able to eat, drink, shit, and piss. I will be a real, living beauty. Isn’t that far better than a machine like you?”

”Let’s see how much skill you really have!” the Gramophone shrieked. ”I will tear that face of yours apart right now!”

Steam surged toward Hong Ying and scalded the spear tip until it glowed bright red. Hong Ying refused to back down. She lunged forward, and in the next instant, she and the Gramophone were tearing at each other in a vicious scuffle.

Li Banfeng pushed the door open and walked in. The Gramophone quickly twisted her needle away and released Hong Ying’s hair. Her voice turned soft and sweet at once. ”Heyaaaa~ Husband dear~ You are back!”

”I am back!” Li Banfeng hugged the Gramophone and spent a tender moment with her.

Hong Ying stepped forward to greet him as well, but Li Banfeng simply went around her and lay down on the bed.

No matter how much Hong Ying had changed, Li Banfeng acted as if he had not noticed a thing. That was what Hong Ying could not understand at all.

Warm steam curled around Li Banfeng as the Gramophone asked with concern, ”Darling husband, was the journey to the new land tiring?”

”It wasn’t too tiring. It’s just...” Li Banfeng stopped there, because he had no idea where to begin.

Imagine a journey that would take only a day. Then imagine walking for ten whole days and still not getting there.

That night, after the group set up camp in the wilderness, Li Banfeng found a chance to slip back into the Pocket Dwelling. He was traveling with people who were not Wanderlust Cultivators, which made the whole thing feel like a torture.

”Husband dear, the new land doesn’t distinguish between day and night. If people stay there too long, they can lose track of time, and some aberrant creatures will use that chance to harm them. Take Dream Virtue with you and look at her from time to time as a reminder. At the very least, don’t forget to come home.”

”Carry an illustrated calendar around with me?” Li Banfeng looked Dream Virtue up and down. No matter how he looked at her, she did not seem convenient to carry.

The Gramophone said, ”That’s no trouble. This little wifey can alter her for you.”

Dream Virtue trembled in fear. ”Madam, what are you going to alter?”

”Don’t be afraid. It won’t hurt at all,” the Gramophone responded.

A cloud of steam swallowed the illustrated calendar. Inside the steam, Dream Virtue’s frame twisted and bent, and she let out a shrill, miserable wail. ”Madam, please spare me! This is too terrifying!”

”Keep crying, you little hussy, and I will tear your mouth apart!”

The Gramophone worked on her for half an hour, huffing and puffing all the while, until Dream Virtue and Li Banfeng’s pocket watch had been fused into one. When it was finished, the Gramophone presented it to him with great pride. ”Husband, open it and have a look.”

Li Banfeng clicked open the pocket watch and found Dream Virtue trembling on the watch face.

”Husband dear~ Try pulling the crown.”

Li Banfeng pulled it, and the pocket watch stretched outward in all directions. A moment later, it had turned back into an illustrated calendar.

”Wifey, how did you do that?” Li Banfeng stared at it in astonishment.

Huff, huff.

The Gramophone gave a breathy little laugh. ”Husband, it’s only a little trick this little wifey recently learned.”

”That doesn’t look like a little trick. Isn’t this an Artificer Cultivator’s ability?” Li Banfeng was sure that even Little Chuan could not do anything like this.

”Heyaaa~ Husband dear, this little wifey has learned quite a few new tricks. Some of them might really come in handy for you.”

Hong Ying snorted and muttered under her breath, ”What are you showing off for? You still haven’t learned the one thing you want most!”

Author’s Note:

PS: Did she learn all of this from the Pocket Dwelling?