The Overlord of Puluo

The gramophone wifey woke up. The moment she did, she asked about where the fragrance was coming from.

Li Banfeng did not offer a long explanation. Instead, he opened the box in front of her.

”Wifey, the pill is ready.”

As the gramophone wifey took a glance at the pill and took another sniff of the scent, she cried out in a pleasant surprise, ”This pill! This pill is the Profound Essence Pill!”

Profound Essence Pill?

”What does it do?” he asked at once. Since she recognized it, he might as well get the answer straight from her.

”Heya~ Husband dear~ Even if you eat it, it won’t do a thing. You are a Homebound Cultivator. Your cultivation can only grow through this servant.”

As she spoke, her voice still trembled slightly, unable to hide her excitement.

She was too excited.

Li Banfeng asked, ”If an ordinary cultivator takes it, what will it do? I need to be clear about its effects if I am going to sell it for a good price.”

”Even ordinary cultivators won’t gain anything from it,” she replied at once. ”It wouldn’t work on anyone below level ten!”

So it won’t work on anyone under level ten. Li Banfeng thought as he cast a cautious glance toward the outer room and felt that something wasn’t right.

”Wifey,” he asked, ”what kind of person am I supposed to sell this to?”

”Such a person is very, very difficult to find,”the gramophone said. ”Husband, you must not carry this pill outside. Its fragrance alone is enough to stir greedy hearts. If others catch even a whiff of it... you will have trouble. Terrible, sticky trouble.”

Li Banfeng nodded gravely. ”That’s what I am afraid of. I wrapped it up in so many layers because I was terrified the fragrance might sneak out of this house.”

”Not enough. Not nearly enough!” she cried. ”Husband dear~ This wifey caught the scene when I woke up. There are noses outside far sharper than mine!”

Li Banfeng fell very, very quiet. The fragrance simply could not be contained. No matter how many layers he wrapped around it, the scent would seep through. If he took it outside, it would be discovered, and discovered by ruthless people. He could not understand the Crimson Lotus’s intention.

”Heya~ Husband dear~ This pill is truly wonderful!” A soft mist puffed from the mouth of wifey’s horn.

”Hmph!” Li Banfeng suddenly chuckled.

The gramophone asked in surprise, ”Husband dear~ Why are you laughing?”

Li Banfeng sighed. ”See? In the end, it’s still husband and wife who truly look out for each other.”

Tak-tak-tak-tak! Hyah!

”Husband, why are you suddenly saying such sweet things?”

”Wifey, can you eat this pill?”

”I can, of course,” she replied softly. ”But you shouldn’t waste such a precious pill on me. If you run into danger someday, you could use it as a bargaining chip...”

Did the gramophone truly not want it? Of course she did. She very much did.

She wanted it very much, yet she held herself back. She was worried that Li Banfeng wouldn’t give her this pill. Could she take it by force if he didn’t want to give her this pill? She couldn’t do it. She could not let this madman suffer too great a loss.

This madman risked his life to get the head of the Insect Overlord, the gramophone thought. I was the one who devoured its spirit essence. Even those wretches got their share. No matter what, this pill must be left for him.

This thing could be exchanged for territory spanning fifty kilometers. With it, he could claim land enough to become a local land deity. But if I were to eat it... then I could... No! No matter what, I can’t take the pill by force! I can’t...

”Husband, keep this pill safe. When the right opportunity comes in the future, you can...”

Before she could finish, Li Banfeng stepped forward and handed the pill to the gramophone.

”Husband... you are giving it to me?”

Li Banfeng nodded without hesitation. ”Yes. It’s for my wifey.”

Huff~ huff~

The gramophone fell silent for a long moment.

”Husband... such a precious pill should be kept for now. I am grateful for your kindness, but I...”

Li Banfeng cut her off and said with this firm expression, ”If there’s something good, it goes to my wife. A man should cherish his own wife properly.”

Huff~ huff~

Steam burst from the horn in short puffs. Amid the drifting mist, she trembled slightly.

”Husband dear~ Do you even know how valuable this pill is? Not even a thousand pieces of gold could buy it.”

Li Banfeng smiled faintly. ”Whether it’s a thousand gold, ten thousand gold, or ten-thousand-times ten thousand gold... as long as my wifey eats it, I won’t regret it in the slightest.”

Huff! Huff!

Steam burst out in rapid succession, circling Li Banfeng again and again.

”Husband... are those truly your heartfelt words?”

”Wifey, every single word comes from my heart!”

Huff! Huff!

”If you lie to me, I will not spare you.”

”If what I just said deceives my wifey, may I die a miserable death!”

With that solemn oath, Li Banfeng brought the pill to the side of the stylus.

The gramophone lifted it delicately with two slender needles. The tips trembled and quivered like nervous little antennae.

Is this madman truly sincere? the gramophone wondered.

”Hurry and eat it, wifey,” Li Banfeng urged.

He is sincere, she thought.

The gramophone very carefully lowered the pill into the water tank, as though it were handling something that might explode into fireworks at any moment.

At once, steam whooshed upward in thick, billowing clouds. The entire gramophone flushed a deep, scandalous red, from horn to base.

Has it taken effect? Li Banfeng wondered.

The record spun faster and faster on the platter. The pipa twanged briskly, the guzheng chimed along in bright agreement, and the erhu rose into a long, lingering melody that seemed to stretch on and on.

An old tune from Eastern Yue drifted softly around Li Banfeng’s ears.

「 Beloved of my heart,

You appear before my eyes.

All at once my breathing falters,

All at once my pulse runs wild.

Moved by love that cannot hide,

I hope you will turn and see.

Return to me a single thread,

A string of longing from thee ♪」

It was the song ”Beloved of My Heart.”

”Husband dear~”

”Wifey!” Li Banfeng cried, feeling that his blushing wife looked unexpectedly beautiful.

”Good husband!” she called sweetly.

Before he could react, a thick swirl of steam wrapped around him, lifted him off his feet, and stuffed him straight into the wide mouth of the horn.

”What are you doing? No...”

What is she trying to do? Is this another breakthrough? I can’t level up right now!

His Wanderlust Cultivation was only at level three. If he advanced to level five in Homebound Cultivation first, Li Banfeng would suffer another cultivation backlash.

After a brief struggle, Li Banfeng finally pulled his head out of the horn.

”Husband~” the gramophone said, sounding slightly aggrieved. ”I only wanted to be a little intimate with you. Why are you hiding from me?”

”Intimate? Not a breakthrough?”

”Heya~ Husband dear~” she replied softly, ”you just reached level four. If you tried to break through again so soon, your body wouldn’t be able to endure it.”

Phew. It’s not a breakthrough.

That gave Li Banfeng quite a fright.

”Wifey, get this fragrance off me first.”

”Husband always thinks ahead~” she replied. A warm drift of steam washed over him, cleansing the scent from his body. Then another thicker cloud gathered around him and held him close for quite some time.

In the outer room, the Crimson Lotus’s leaves quivered, as though she were grinding her teeth in irritation.

***

When Li Banfeng arrived at Ma Wu’s plot of land, he immediately saw Ma Wu standing before the wooden hut with a very nervous expression.

Not far from him, three bagworm moths crouched low to the ground, their eyes fixed on the hut without blinking.

”Old Qi,” Ma Wu said in a low voice, ”we have a guest.”

After knowing each other for a long time, Li Banfeng instantly grasped the meaning behind Ma Wu’s strained expression.

”The land deity is here?”

Ma Wu nodded. ”The guest is named Shui Yongquan[1]. He wants to discuss matters about the fight with us.”

Shui Yongquan. Good name, Li Banfeng thought, recalling the scene when the land deity had spat once and summoned a rainfall from a clear sky.

When Li Banfeng stepped into the wooden hut, he saw the land deity at last.

He was not a drifting cluster of ghostly fire. Instead, he had manifested in human form. He appeared to be a middle-aged man of around fifty years old.

He was of average height and somewhat thin, with a faint hunch in his back and a forehead that had clearly begun surrendering territory to baldness. He had thick eyebrows, small eyes, and a bulbous nose. When he smiled, wrinkles gathered cheerfully across his face in soft folds.

He looked like a very easygoing uncle and nothing like the land deity that Li Banfeng had imagined.

”You two talented young men, please forgive this intrusion. I have come today to offer my apologies. A matter arose earlier, which I have already explained to Brother Ma Wu. Because of that delay, I was unable to respond in time when Brother Li Qi invoked me with blood. I hope the two of you can forgive me.”

So polite? Li Banfeng thought.

After offering his apology, Shui Yongquan turned his gaze toward Ma Wu. Ma Wu turned his head and looked at Li Banfeng.

Li Banfeng stood up. ”It’s a small matter. No need to dwell on it. Little Chuan, see the guest out.”

Uh... Seeing me off already? Shui Yongchuan felt really awkward.

Little Chuan also felt that Master Qi was being somewhat rude. Ma Wu, however, understood the situation perfectly. Old Qi had handled it just right. The one who had crossed the line was not them, but Shui Yongquan.

Li Banfeng had come to see Ma Wu to discuss what they should do about the land deity’s horn. Yet before the two of them could even discuss, the land deity had arrived at their door in person. This meant that he was relying on his experience to catch the young men off guard.

Li Banfeng refused to take the bait. He intended to send the land deity away first, then discuss with Ma Wu in private before making any decisions. However, Shui Yongquan showed no intention of leaving.

”Brother Li Qi,” Shui Yongquan said with a faint smile, ”you are being too hasty. I have not finished speaking.”

”Didn’t you say you came specifically to apologize?” Li Banfeng replied evenly. ”That matter is over. We brothers do not take it to heart. Little Chuan, see the guest out!”

Shui Yongquan gave a dry chuckle. ”Let’s put what happened earlier aside. There’s something serious going on in our domain right now, and I would like to talk it over with the two of you.”

Thick-skinned as he was, Shui Yongquan continued and explained the whole situation without hesitation.

Shui Yongquan ruled over a stretch of land known as Water-Sprite Grove. Next to it lay the territory of another land deity, Qiu Luoye[2], who governed a place called Falling-Leaf Meadow. The two domains bordered one another, and the two land deities had maintained cordial relations for many years.

Last year, several land activators arrived and set up offering tables. Unfamiliar with the rules, they placed the offering table directly on the border between the two territories.

Such a situation was rare. Shui Yongquan believed in a simple principle: first come, first served. Since he had arrived a step earlier, he claimed the land activators for himself.

This displeased Qiu Luoye, and from that point on, a rift began to form between the two.

At the beginning of this year, another group of land activators arrived. Like before, they set up their offering tables right along the border. Once again, Shui Yongquan reached them first.

However, this time Qiu Luoye refused to concede. He directly seized the land activators, and the two nearly fought.

Just today, yet another group of land activators arrived and once again established their offering tables along the boundary between the two territories.

Shui Yongquan moved swiftly and claimed them first. This time, however, Qiu Luoye acted even faster. He did not argue, nor did he negotiate. He struck without hesitation and directly injured Shui Yongquan.

Shui Yongquan demanded an explanation. Qiu Luoye gave none. Instead, he sent him a formal letter of challenge and declared open war.

After explaining everything, Shui Yongquan let out a sigh. ”These matters are usually known only to leaders of territories. I sincerely admire you two young brothers, so I am making an exception and telling you.”

Li Banfeng frowned as he looked at Shui Yongquan while thinking, You are making an exception? What a tremendous favor. I can hardly be bothered to listen to such trivial nonsense. And two Land Deities are prepared to go to war over something this petty?

Ma Wu listened attentively. ”Senior Shui, may I ask, are there not many who come to activate land within your territory?”

”How shall I put it...” Shui Yongquan muttered, appearing slightly embarrassed. ”With the Iron-Thread River on one side and the Little Yellow Spring on the other, very few are able to reach my territory. Since I took over Water-Sprite Grove, only two good men have successfully activated land here.”

Only two? Li Banfeng thought. He looked at Shui Yongquan and asked, ”You don’t mean the two of us, do you?”

Shui Yongquan looked at them with clear approval in his eyes. ”It is precisely you two handsome and talented young men.”

Do you have no sense of embarrassment at all? How can you say something so shameless with such calm and sincerity? Are you perhaps Pan Dehai’s junior brother? Li Banfeng muttered inwardly.

The truth was that Shui Yongquan felt rather awkward himself. He lifted his teacup and took an unnecessarily slow sip

”You two brothers,” he began carefully, ”have quite... imaginative methods of activating land. I am a broad-minded and forgiving sort, so I chose not to make an issue of it. In another territory, it might not be that easy.”

There he goes again, selling favors, Li Banfeng thought. If people were flocking to your territory, would you still be so magnanimous? With so few land activators coming your way, you and Qiu Luoye end up fighting over the same handful of land activators. A dispute I can understand. But to escalate it to open war? There must be deeper grievances between the two of you.

Li Banfeng had no intention of listening to any further rambling. ”Let’s speak plainly. You want the two of us to join this war, don’t you?”

”Straightforward!” Shui Yongquan praised, lifting his brows. ”Since Brother Li Qi has asked, it seems you have already agreed.”

Li Banfeng almost laughed. Since when did asking a question count as agreeing? Who came up with such a logic?

If Shui Yongquan intended to be shameless, then Li Banfeng could be just as shameless in return.

”Of course we’ve agreed,” Li Banfeng replied without missing a beat. ”We brothers will do our utmost to guard our two plots of land!”

There was nothing wrong with what I said, Li Banfeng thought. We agreed to join the war.

”Brother Li Qi, do you mean you only intend to guard your territory?” Shui Yongquan sounded faintly disappointed. ”With talents like yours, merely defending would cause you to miss out on a great achievement.”

Ma Wu shook his head with a faint smile. ”Senior Shui, you give us too much credit. We brothers possess little talent. We have not even been on the Daoist Path for a full year.”

”Why be so modest?” Shui Yongquan replied with a meaningful smile. He reached into his robes and drew out a map. ”This is the complete layout of Water-Sprite Grove. Please take a look.

”Water-Sprite Grove and Falling-Leaf Meadow share roughly eighteen and a half kilometers of border. Along that stretch rise steep mountains and treacherous peaks. There are only two narrow passages suitable for the movement of troops.

”One is called Hundred Vines Gorge. It extends for roughly five kilometers through a maze of narrow, winding mountain ravines. Sheer cliffs tower on both sides. It is easy to defend and difficult to attack.

”The other is called Hundred-Leg Cave. Countless forks branch within the cave, yet only one path connects the two domains. If the vital choke point inside is secured, a single man could hold the pass against ten thousand.”

As Shui Yongquan spoke, he kept sneaking glances at Ma Wu.

Why did he keep looking at Ma Wu? Because Ma Wu possessed visible combat strength.

Outside the hut, three Madam Bagworm Moths crouched in a neat yet unsettling row. They were far inferior to a Land Deity in strength, but among aberrant creatures, they stood at the very peak of combat power.

Shui Yongquan continued, ”If you can guard even one of these routes, I will grant you five kilometers of territory. You two handsome and exceptionally talented young men... do you dare to try?”

Author’s Note:

PS: Will they try?

1. 水 (shui), which means water; 涌 (yong), which means to surge, gush, well up; 泉 (quan), which means the natural spring of water. Basically, this name means a surging spring of water. ☜

2. 秋落叶 (Qiu Luoye) means falling Autumn leaf ☜