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Chapter 117 ~ Behind the Mask

“You… No way…”

The devil’s mask Mordred had always worn split open and moved to the side, revealing a familiar face.

“Alex…”

Karen stood frozen as a soft whisper escaped her trembling lips. Her eyes were wide open, shocked, as she stared at his countenance. 

He wore an anxious, vulnerable, nervous expression, which she had never seen from Alexander since she had met him. However, he was, unmistakably, the Alexander she knew… It was impossible for her to mistake him for someone else. Even in this dim of light, as they stood under the night sky on the port, the few lights and moonlight were enough for her to see his countenance clearly, leaving no room for a mistake or confusion. 

She took a step back, stumbling from the shock. But she immediately stopped herself when she saw the look of shock and hurt that suddenly appeared on his face when she moved away from him. 

“Karen… I’m sorry…”

She could hear the pain and guilt in his voice. But if he were to feel such things, why don’t he just tell her who he was?! 

She knew there would be a reason. Or rather, he better have a reason, else she would’ve become even angrier. But no matter what his reason was, haven’t the time they spent together, the life and death battles they’ve been through, and the trust they’ve built between each other not enough?!

Or was she the only one who thought so…?

“Why…?”

The pain in her chest slowly became more and more painful as she clenched her hands into a fist. Tears filled her eyes before finally dripping down her cheeks as she looked at him ini shock, disbelief, and pain. 

And soon, her confusion, sadness, and feelings of being betrayed turned to anger. 

“I must’ve looked like an idiot to you, huh…?”

She bit her lips and turned her head down to the ground. Her eyes shut closed, causing few more drops of tears to fall directly onto the concrete ground, as her fists trembled. 

“No, Karen…! Of course no-”

“WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?!”

Her voice didn’t echo far in this wide, opened space, drowned by the sound of waves and wind. But her voice reverberated within Yuuji’s mind over and over. 

“Why… Just why…?”

Karen suddenly grabbed onto his shoulders and rocked him violently as she clenched her teeth.

“Hey! Answer me! Do you know how mad I am with you?! Does the time we spent together mean nothing?! Do you have that little trust in me?!

Tears continue to stream down her face.

“I thought I knew you… “Both” of you… Why…? Why…?”

She let go of his shoulders weakly as she stumbled back. 

“I… I don’t know anything anymore… I’m so mad… I can’t understand why you would hide such a thing from me…”

The pain and hurt she felt in her heart was unmistakable. But soon, as the shock began to subside, a new emotion surfaced in her heart. 

But why…? Why do I feel… relieved…? I can’t understand myself anymore…

The fact that Mordred and Alexander were the same… should’ve shocked her to no end. But why did she feel relieved at the same time…?

Why did she feel relieved that they’re the same…?

“Karen…”

Yuuji slowly approached her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a soft embrace.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry… I should’ve told you. But I was afraid… that you would come to hate me when I do.”

He held her tightly as she sobbed onto his chest. 

“I had reasons as to why I couldn’t tell you at first. But when I finally feel like I can… a lot of time has passed… and it has become more difficult to reveal the truth to you…”

She slammed her fists onto his chest weakly, again and again.

“You’re such an idiot… You’re so stupid…”

“Mm…”

Yuuji nodded. It was… certainly a bad habit of his. He did it with Erika and Mayumi, and held off telling them of his true self and origin even though he knew they could be trusted. 

And as he held off telling them, it became harder and harder to reveal the truth as they became closer and closer. 

“How could I come to hate you… you bastard. I would get angry, of course. But How could I hate you…? You’ve saved my life more times than I can count. And you’ve made my life in that academy much brighter… There’s no way I can hate you after all you’ve done…”

Her life had changed for the worse when the Britannians came onto their shores and attacked. Then, when her brother died and her mother fell into depression, all colors of happiness seemed to have disappeared from her eyes. 

All she could do… was continue her brother’s legacy and will to fight against the Britannians in the name of liberation. She fought fiercely, putting her life on the line, even if she knew how little her sacrifice and fight was in the grand scheme of things. 

Even in the academy, where she should’ve had a semblance of normalcy in her life and lived as a regular high school student, she had to adopt a persona which couldn’t be further than her true self to hide the fact that she was a part of a rebel group. 

Unable to live as herself. Fighting with her life on the line while hoping for some kind of change, however small it was. 

A life filled with pain, suffering, harshness, and powerlessness. 

That was… until Alexander and Mordred came into her life. 

Alexander brightened up her days in the academy by allowing her to show parts of her true self, at least while she was with him. Someone who made her comfortable enough that she acted as her true self before him before she knew it.

While Mordred gave her hope in this long, futile fight she had been fighting for so long. He was a beacon of hope and light who helped her, encouraged her, and fought with her to realize her and her late brother’s dream of liberating her home country. 

They were both extremely important to her. 

So, even though he hid all these things from here… she could not bring herself to hate him. 

In fact… perhaps she felt a bit relieved when she knew they were actually one person. This way… her heart would no longer need to choose between them. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for hiding this from you. I… I like you, Karen. So… So much. And I’m just too afraid to even think about you hating me…”

Her heart skipped a beat and her body froze when she heard those words come out of his lips.

“T-To think you’d say such things at a time like this… You’re such an idiot…”

Her cheeks blushed as red as her crimson red hair and she hit his chest once more. 

“Idiot… Stupid…”

She continued to whisper how much of an idiot he was. But soon, her arms moved by its own will, reflecting her heart’s true desire, and wrapped around his chest, embracing him in a tight hug, not wanting to let go. 

Yuuji let her embrace him and also wrapped his arms around her even tighter as he pressed his cheeks against her head. 

They enjoyed each other’s presence in the comfortable silence with the sound of crashing waves and blowing night wind in the background. 

Then, without turning her head up towards him in pure embarrassment and shyness, Karen asked him a question. 

“Hey… Are you still hiding anything from me…?”

She could feel Yuuji flinching a bit due to how tightly they were in each other’s embrace, and felt him tightening his hug around her. And she knew what his answer would be before he even say it.

“Yes… But I can’t tell you here… And not now.”

She pouted her lips and did her best to pinch him through his suit of armor as she cursed him under her breath.

“...You’re such a bastard.”

“I’m sorry…”

“...I won’t even be surprised if you have other women.”

“...”

She froze for a moment at his silence, before she turned and looked up to him with widened eyes in shock. 

“Do you?”

“...Yes.”

Yuuji answered truthfully. 

And with everything that had been going on, Karen had no more energy to get mad at him or even to be shocked anymore. 

She just shook her head tiredly and slumped back down to his chest. 

“Why did I fall in love with such a bastard… Why does it have to be this bastard…?” 

She mumbled helplessly in a voice that she thought Yuuji wouldn’t hear. Her head was hurting now from all the revelations she was subjected to today. 

“Take responsibility, you bastard…”

“Of course. I would love to. But… Are you really fine with this…?”

“How could I be, you idiot?!”

She tried her best to pinch his waist once again. And when she couldn’t, she decided to vent her frustrations by trying to squeeze her arms around him as hard as she could, not realizing that she was just squishing her breasts against him. 

Though, in a way, it was certainly a punishment for Yuuji, who had been trying his hardest to control himself from being embraced by Karen.

“But… I’m in too deep already. And I still want to be with you. So… I’ll try.”

“Karen… Thank you.”

“Hmph… You should be grateful that I’m being so understanding.|

“Of course I am.”

“Good.”

Silence fell between them for a while longer before Karen asked him a question once again. 

“When can you tell me about yourself…? The real you…?”

“...Tomorrow. After school. Are you free?”

She nodded. 

“Alright. Then, let’s go home together. I’ll bring you to my home.”

“Mm… Eh?”