Bombarding Cultivators with Cluster Artillery

”Aaaahhhh!”

A shrill scream ripped through the air, making everyone’s ears ring.

The green-clothed youth sitting opposite Jiang Yuan and the two extremely beautiful girls reacted with complete calm.

Especially Fusang and Gong Caiyu.

They were both fully immersed in savoring the food, faces full of reluctance to stop; someone even seemed to be secretly sealing away some dishes and rice, planning to make them into a Sealing Magical Treasure and preserve them forever.

”Huh?”

The only one reacting ”normally,” Lin Wanqiu, looked utterly confused.

”Aaaahhhh!”

”Aaaahhhh... Mom... Mom...”

Jiang Yuan screamed nonstop like a groundhog, her body trembling, looking like she was having a seizure; the whole house was in utter chaos.

Thud!

”Shut up. Too noisy.”

Jiang Ding casually knocked her on the head.

”Oh.”

She finally quieted down.

”Mom!”

”Let me tell you, Jiang Ding is over three million years old this year!”

”Over three million years old, aaahhhh!”

”He’s older than the entire history of humanity on our Mother Star. This guy is a total old monster, a living fossil, like a star in the sky...”

Jiang Yuan waved the phone in her hand like crazy, babbling incoherently.

”Over three million years...”

Lin Wanqiu froze.

She took the phone and began to scroll bit by bit through the history of Xianmen Sect after she had fallen asleep, quickly becoming absorbed.

The war of the Ancient Divine Domain, the war of the Beidou Star Domain, the war to unify the Endless Starry Sky... War after war, ten thousand, then another ten thousand years flowed by; who knew how many generations of living beings in the Human World had died, how many times they had gone through Reincarnation, palaces already decayed and withered, rivers changed course, mountains collapsed.

Yet the battles of that epic, mythical being were still continuing.

Only now had they just come to a brief halt.

After a long while.

”Dingding,”

”How many times have you been injured? Does it hurt?”

Lin Wanqiu’s eyes reddened as she spoke.

”Does it hurt...”

Jiang Ding was stunned.

His chewing motions stopped.

How many years had it been since someone last asked him whether it hurt?

It must have been three, almost four million years.

In the eyes of the world, even in the eyes of elders like Yuan, in the eyes of women like Fusang and Gong Caiyu, the injuries of a Sword Cultivator were not something worth mentioning, let alone whether they hurt or not.

This simply wasn’t something a Sword Cultivator needed to think about, so no one had ever spoken to him like this.

The last time, when he was still a child, the one who asked him that was also her, wasn’t it?

All these years, this special person, this person who would ask him that.

Was always her.

Always her.

”Mom, you’re asking me if it hurts?”

”Let me think...”

Jiang Ding didn’t just casually brush it off. After seriously thinking for quite a while, he concluded, ”It probably doesn’t hurt, Mom.”

”I am the strongest being of this era.”

”My talent and my personal willpower overshadow all of ancient and modern times. There is a certain inevitability that I will end up Becoming Emperor. As long as I don’t get too unlucky and get targeted by a Super Tier powerhouse while I’m still too young, I have a very high chance of rising.”

”...Saying all this, Mom, what I want to say is: I’m different.”

”So, it really doesn’t hurt for me, or rather, pain for me isn’t something all that painful; it can’t make me feel miserable.”

”That’s the truth, I’m not just saying it to comfort you.”

Jiang Ding concluded.

”So full of yourself!”

”What ’strongest being of this era,’ what ’talent overshadowing all ages’... shameless!”

Lin Wanqiu rolled her eyes and smacked him on the head.

But saying it like that did ease the ache in her heart a lot. Her child really was special, that was beyond any doubt, so it was perfectly reasonable that he was different from others.

”How have you been living all these years?”

”Have you been lonely, have you ever felt despair, have you been sad?”

Thinking of all those brutally tragic wars recorded in the histories, Lin Wanqiu felt her heart twist, and asked again.

”Honestly, those things either didn’t happen, or happened very rarely.”

”Mom, war and slaughter are a very important source of joy in my life; I seldom feel depressed.”

Jiang Ding’s face took on a nostalgic expression as he said, ”Exactly because of those enemies, my life is full of delightful unknowns and variables, and that’s what lets life have moments that make your blood boil.”

”You could say, over the years, I’ve been extremely happy.”

”...”

”You’re happy?”

Lin Wanqiu was speechless.

It seemed she had, by accident, given birth to a perverted son.

Still, she was a bit happy, proud, and full of pride inside.

History had so many great figures, many of whom she had studied and looked up to in her textbooks, but none of them compared to her own son.

”That’s actually pretty good.”

”I thought you’d be like those male leads in TV dramas, weighed down by all sorts of burdens, wanting to resurrect wives and loved ones, spending every day in pain, despair, and constant tears.”

Lin Wanqiu felt a bit embarrassed.

”No way.”

”That’s all just made up by screenwriters.”

Jiang Ding laughed and said, ”We’re a family. If we succeed, we succeed together; if we fail, we die together. That’s how it’s supposed to be—because we’re family. There’s no such thing as some deep regret or unwillingness.”

”This isn’t some competition over who loves whom more.”

”Where would the pressure come from? What is there to shoulder?”

”If you don’t even have that bit of self-regulation, and you’re constantly mentally exhausted, brooding and wallowing in sorrow and hatred, how are you supposed to accomplish anything big?”

”Forget it, I can’t out-talk you.”

Lin Wanqiu gave her son a sideways glare; she no longer had anything left to worry about.

Her son was downright abnormal; there was simply nothing to worry about. No matter the situation, he could self-adjust, with zero mental burnout.

”Mom!”

”Baidu says Jiang Ding is the Human Emperor!”

”The Human Emperor!”

Jiang Yuan, who didn’t have all those delicate emotions, trembled with excitement and shouted, ”Mom! If you think about it logically, that makes me the Eldest Princess of the Immortal Dynasty!”

”The Eldest Princess!”

”A princess!”

”Mom, I’ve become a princess!”

Jiang Yuan bounced up, pacing around the room excitedly, back and forth, unable to calm down at all.

”Mm.”

”Yuanyuan is indeed the Eldest Princess.”

Fusang smiled and confirmed it.

”Mom!”

”Look, Her Highness the Empress said so too!”

Jiang Yuan grinned so wide her mouth went crooked and couldn’t close, silly to the extreme—such a loser of a crown princess.

She had already read through the entire Baidu Baike entry on the Human Emperor, and of course had also read the entry on the Human Emperor’s wife and recognized the Fusang Empress.

”Watch your image!”

Lin Wanqiu couldn’t bear to look.

These two siblings were clearly biological siblings, only a few years apart, yet the gap between them was absurdly huge, to the point that it made one suspect whether they were really her own.

”Mom! Don’t meddle in the affairs of Her Highness the Eldest Princess!”

”The Eldest Princess!”

Jiang Yuan rubbed her hands together excitedly like a fly and said, ”I want to bully men and dominate women. I want a whole group of bodyguards and maids. I want a huge, huge palace. I want lots and lots of money and Spirit Stones. I want crowds and crowds of servants, True Dragons, Phoenixes, Immortal Cranes—I want all of those...”

She fell into all sorts of messy fantasies, letting out silly little laughs from time to time.