The Forgotten Field

It was nothing more than a hallucination caused by the medicine’s side effects.

Repeating that to herself, Talia pressed hard against her eyelids, then reached toward the shelf and picked up a bottle of scented oil. She poured the entire bottle of rose oil over the rippling surface of the bathwater and submerged herself all the way to the top of her head.

She had no idea how long she had remained like that when she suddenly felt an urgent hand pulling her up. Talia turned around in surprise.

“What?”

Tiuran, who had been gripping her arm, hastily released her with a flustered expression.

“I-I apologize. There had been no sound from you for some time, so I thought Your Highness had lost consciousness.......”

“If you’ve confirmed I’m fine, then go away!”

Without another word, the woman gave a small bow and walked back behind the screen.

Talia rested her head against the edge of the bathtub and rubbed the spot where the woman’s handprint remained. Then she noticed a pair of blue eyes staring worriedly at her and grimaced.

Apparently, even in the wolf’s eyes she seemed anything but normal. Khan was pressed close against the edge of the bathtub, looking at her anxiously without caring that his fluffy fur was getting soaked.

Talia stroked the wolf’s face with a wet hand, then slowly rose and stepped out of the bathtub. She did not want to make Khan any more anxious than he already was.

She roughly pulled a fresh nightgown over her wet body, trudged over to the bed, and collapsed onto it. The sheets and pillowcase quickly became soaked, but she hardly cared.

Staring blankly at the ceiling, Talia felt helplessness weighing heavily on her body and closed her eyes. At some point, she seemed to have drifted off to sleep.

A clattering sound made Talia open her eyes. Seeing Tiuran lighting something at the brazier, she frowned.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah...... I apologize. It seems I woke you.”

The woman answered gently, then brought the lit burner over beside the bed and added,

“It is incense that helps neutralize the effects of the medicine.”

Talia regarded the incense burner suspiciously before glancing up at the woman’s gentle-looking face.

Tiuran gave a wry smile at her wary gaze, then turned toward the fireplace and continued calmly.

“The detoxifying tea is ready as well. May I pour you a cup?”

Talia was about to refuse out of habit when she felt something nudging her body and looked down.

Khan was gazing up at her anxiously, pressing his long front paw against her stomach. He looked almost as though he were pestering her to eat something.

After hesitating for a moment, Talia muttered reluctantly,

“......Just give me a little.”

The woman immediately ladled some steaming liquid from the pot into a small porcelain bowl.

“It is tea brewed from willow bark with mint and ginger. I added a little honey, so it should be easier to drink.”

Talia brought the cup close to her face and sniffed it for a moment before cautiously taking a sip.

The sharp taste was somewhat unpleasant, but not bad enough to make it difficult to drink. Talia sipped until she had emptied about half the tea, then handed the cup back.

After taking it from her and draining the remaining tea, the woman held out a bowl of porridge.

“I heard you skipped lunch as well. Even if you have no appetite, please try to eat a little.”

“No. Just bring me some fresh fruit.”

“Forgive me, but eating nothing but fruit on an empty stomach could harm your stomach. Even if it is only a little, you need to eat a proper meal.”

Talia glared at her with displeasure. Then she noticed the concern in the woman’s eyes and reluctantly accepted the bowl.

But the sight of the thick, mushy liquid filling it immediately turned her stomach, and she could not bring herself to eat.

She stirred the bowl with her spoon, carefully inspecting its contents. Finely ground nuts and softened grains were mixed together into a sticky mass.

After confirming that nothing resembling a foreign substance had been mixed into it, she scooped up a little of the broth and smelled it. Then she felt someone watching her intently.

Talia glared at the woman warily.

“Is this some kind of spectacle? What are you staring at?”

“I apologize. I merely.......”

For once, the woman looked flustered as she carefully continued.

“I wondered whether Your Highness might have difficulty eating food.......”

Talia stiffened for an instant, then let out an incredulous laugh.

“What could possibly be difficult about eating? I’m only checking whether you people put anything strange in my food.”

“......Has something like that happened to you before?”

Talia shot the woman a vicious glare.

The healer already seemed to have reached her own conclusion, and pity had entered her expression.

At that moment, overwhelming humiliation washed over Talia. She felt miserable, as though the woman had discovered that she was insignificant enough to have been treated that way.

She hurled the bowl onto the floor.

“I don’t need this shit. Get the hell out.”

The woman remained frozen and motionless for a moment before finally leaving the room.

Breathing heavily, Talia noticed Khan stiffening as though startled by her violent outburst, and her face twisted.

Khan must have realized it by now too. That I’m not a good person....... That I’m a complete mess, a horrible human being....... Even so, please, at least you don’t hate me.

She pulled the wolf into her arms as though begging him.

* * *

After she stopped taking the painkillers, the severe chronic pain began tormenting her again.

Varkas came to understand all too painfully what it meant to feel as though one’s body were being roasted alive.

The fact that she was suffering and there was nothing he could do about it was enough to drive him mad.

He repeatedly licked the cold sweat from her face, letting out low whimpers.

She stroked his head and gave him a faint smile.

“Feeling cooped up? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to take you outside much lately.”

He gazed at her with anguished eyes.

Talia, who had been trying hard to pretend she was fine, furrowed her brow again and tossed restlessly from side to side.

Ever since they had begun diluting the ointment before applying it, her skin seemed to itch terribly. She constantly scratched and pinched at it, leaving her entire leg red and swollen.

He tried shoving his head beneath her hand to stop her from digging her nails into it again, but it was not enough to keep her from tearing at the scar until it bled.

He changed tactics and went to the side door where the healer remained on standby, barking loudly.

A short while later, Tiuran opened the door and entered.

“Your Highness, even if your skin itches, you must not scratch it.”

The woman approached the bed, firmly stopped Talia’s hand, and cast healing magic over the scratched areas. Then she picked up a glass bottle from the shelf and applied mint oil to the reddened skin.

The tingling sensation seemed to ease the itching somewhat, and Talia’s expression relaxed slightly.

But the pain clearly remained, as cold sweat still beaded across her forehead.

Eventually, unable to endure it any longer, Talia spoke anxiously.

“Bring Marisen. I need to start using my old painkillers again.”

“Your Highness, I know you are suffering, but please endure it a little longer. If you continue relying on such potent painkillers.......”

“How am I supposed to endure pain like this?! Stop arguing and bring Marisen!”

A flicker of hesitation crossed the healer’s face.

Varkas paced anxiously around the bed.

From what he had observed during this time, Talia had been overusing highly toxic medicinal herbs such as poppy, belladonna, and henbane.

Every one of them had powerful side effects and needed to be used with extreme caution. If the dosage was mishandled, were they not ingredients capable of becoming deadly poisons?

When he had first learned that substances practically indistinguishable from poisonous herbs had been used on her so excessively, all he had wanted was to tear that utterly incompetent healer limb from limb.

But now, seeing Talia suffer this badly, it was difficult to suppress the urge to ease her pain even if it meant resorting to poisonous herbs.