The Forgotten Field

”Give Khan back! Give me back my child!”

Her frail fists rained wildly against his jaw, chest, and shoulders.

Watching the woman wail in utter despair, Varkas’s expression twisted as he seized her wrist.

”Pull yourself together! That wasn’t our child. It was nothing but a beast!”

”No! No! Khan is my child! You killed my child! You took him away from me... twice!”

She continued struggling with all her strength.

The sight of her, as though she had completely lost her mind, made his blood boil.

Varkas cupped her face firmly in both hands and leaned close to the tear-streaked features before him.

”Our child is dead. Dead, and buried long ago.”

”Shut up! Shut up! I said shut up!”

She screamed hysterically as her nails raked savagely across the backs of his hands. He felt her bloodied fingernails dig deep into his flesh.

She twisted violently, almost convulsing.

Holding her down even more forcefully, he stared straight into those eyes consumed by madness.

”Face reality already. That wolf was nothing more than a magical beast tamed by humans.”

Beyond her tear-soaked blue eyes flashed hatred sharp enough to pierce him.

That gaze carved mercilessly into the depths of his being.

Varkas did not stop.

Instead, he became even more merciless.

”No... it wasn’t even properly tamed. You knew that monster was dangerous. You knew it all along. This is the price you’re paying for choosing to ignore it.”

Blood streamed down the backs of his hands where her dark crimson nails had gouged into him.

Her bright red lips, their scabs splitting apart, trembled violently before she finally spat out words like a curse.

”Die.”

Between ragged breaths that sounded like someone drowning, a voice as heavy as molten iron forced its way out.

”I wish... you had died instead.”

At that instant, the savage fury filling his body drained away like sand slipping through his fingers.

As though denying the cold sensation spreading through him, he answered in a flat, emotionless voice.

”Then next time, find a stronger poison. I’ll gladly swallow it.”

Those words seemed to strip away the last of her will to fight.

Her shoulders, taut as a bowstring pulled to its limit, slowly sagged.

The eyes that had been pouring out endless tears suddenly became dry.

Looking up at him with the face of a ghost, she whispered in a voice that seemed ready to crumble apart,

”Khan wasn’t a monster.”

”...”

”You are.”

”You’re a horrible monster with no heart.”

A faint, self-mocking smile brushed across Varkas’s lips after he remained frozen in place for a long moment.

”I never should have married you.”

”For regret, no matter how early it comes... it’s already too late.”

She looked at him as though he were something unspeakably monstrous.

Then, exhausted, she closed her eyes.

If he pushed her any further, it looked as though she would lose consciousness again.

Abandoning the idea of forcing her to eat any more, he walked over to the fireplace.

As he stirred the dying embers with the poker, his eyes fell upon the mangled backs of his hands.

He picked up a towel from the shelf and wiped away the blood.

Then, all at once, an unbearable exhaustion washed over him, and he sank heavily into a chair.

His vision blurred as though covered with frost.

Pressing a hand against his throbbing forehead, he looked back toward the bed.

The mattress was in complete disarray after their violent struggle.

And upon it lay the woman, limp like a broken doll.

For some reason, he suddenly found it difficult to breathe.

He roughly dragged a hand down his face before leaning deeply back into the chair.

* * *

The days that followed became a war.

To make her swallow even half a bowl of porridge required three or four hours of desperate struggle.

Even after he finally managed to force food into her, she would vomit up more than half of it.

The tiny amount of nourishment that actually stayed down seemed to be completely consumed by her relentless battles with him.

Her condition refused to improve.

Watching her grow thinner by the day, Varkas came to understand what people meant when they said their blood ran dry.

She had refused meals before and tormented him countless times.

But he had never faced resistance this extreme.

She truly seemed determined to starve herself to death.

After spending two full hours forcing her to swallow oat porridge, he caught her trying to thrust her fingers down her own throat to make herself vomit.

Wrapping both arms tightly around her like restraints, Varkas shouted toward the terrified maids standing well back from the bed.

”Burn the sedative herbs immediately!”

The women waiting by the door rushed over and threw dried medicinal herbs into the brazier before lighting them.

Even then, she continued twisting violently in his arms, struggling to break free.

”Let me go! Let me go!”

Varkas wrapped her completely in the bedsheet and leaned back against the headboard while holding her firmly.

Not long afterward, her body gradually went limp like drifting seaweed.

Her body had become so weak that even the faintest sedative overwhelmed her.

He brushed the tangled hair away from the nape of the woman resting limply against his chest.

Her face, ruined by sweat and tears, looked up at him with resentment.

”Please... stop now. Just... leave me alone.”

Ignoring her sobbing pleas, he gently wiped her face with a warm wet towel.

Still staring at him as though he were something horrifying, she finally lost consciousness beneath the effects of the medicine.

He laid her sideways upon the bed, which had been piled high with pillows, then stood up.

As he removed his ruined shirt and changed into fresh clothes, he felt someone stealing glances at him.

Turning around, he looked at the hesitant maids.

”What is it?”

”W-Well... Your Grace... we were wondering if... perhaps your own injuries should be treated...”

One of the maids answered in an increasingly timid voice, her cheeks flushed red.

Varkas lowered his gaze toward the red nail marks covering his forearm.

During the first few days, her nails had torn deep wounds into his skin.

Now they barely managed to leave a few shallow scratches.

Even the strength in her hands was fading with each passing day.

Looking down at them with sunken eyes, he calmly fastened the buttons of his shirt.

”There’s no need.”

”B-But...”

”More importantly... where is the Grand Duchess’s nanny serving now?”

Caught off guard by the sudden question, the maid stiffened.

”L-Lady Bremda is currently working at the textile workshop in the outer castle. Several years ago she committed a grave offense against Her Grace, so she was permanently removed from her position as an attendant...”

The maid answered hesitantly.

She clearly feared that he intended to restore the woman as the Grand Duchess’s personal attendant.

After casually throwing a black Tunka over his thin shirt, Varkas nodded toward the doorway.

”Bring her to the ground floor of the detached residence.”

The maid hesitated briefly before leaving.

He instructed another maid to keep watch over Talia’s condition before stepping out of the dim bedroom.

Descending the stairs, he found himself overlooking the spacious hall where the maids lived, a modest kitchen, and the entrance to a neatly furnished drawing room.

He entered the room where the fire had already been lit and dropped heavily into a velvet chair.

One of the maids who had followed to attend him poured wine into a goblet and placed it on the small table.

As he lifted it to moisten his parched throat, a dark-skinned dwarf half-blood woman entered the detached residence under the escort of a soldier.

Varkas silently examined the face of the woman he had grown tired of seeing since childhood.

She did not appear to have suffered much.

If anything, she had put on weight since the last time he had seen her.

”Y-Your Grace...”

The woman, brought before him, murmured anxiously.

Varkas remained silent for a long while.

The woman nervously rolled her pebble-like eyes around as she gauged his mood before cautiously speaking.

”May I ask... why you summoned me...?”

”The Grand Duchess has refused all food for over two weeks.”

At last, he spoke.

Her eyes widened in complete surprise.

Then her shoulders drooped.

”So that bad habit has returned again.”

She let out a long sigh, as though there were nothing remarkable about it, and shook her head.

”Ever since she was young, whenever she became upset she’d refuse all food and drink and drive everyone around her to despair... Honestly, when is she ever going to grow up...”

She clicked her tongue.

Even after hearing that the girl she had raised since infancy had gone without food or water for more than two weeks, she did not seem especially worried.

Varkas stared at her with eyes as cold as ice.

”Watch your tongue. Do you still think she’s a child hiding beneath your skirts?”

The woman flinched and shrank her rounded shoulders.

Rubbing the aching area around his sleepless eyes, Varkas finally came to the point.

”Prepare something she might be willing to eat.”

”Y-Your Grace knows as well as I do. Once the Young Lady... no, once Her Grace the Grand Duchess closes her mouth, it doesn’t matter how much everyone begs her. Whatever I prepare...”

”Even so, she usually ate the food you made. If you need ingredients, I’ll have anything brought in. Cook the dishes she used to enjoy.”

The woman kept her lips tightly shut.

She offered no reply.

Varkas fixed the woman, who dared remain silent before his command, with a dangerous stare.

”Did you not hear me?”

”I-I did! I heard you perfectly!”

She answered in alarm.

Even so, reluctance was still plainly written across her face.

Her anxious eyes darted about before she spoke hesitantly.

”I-I will obey Your Grace’s command... but I ask that you grant me one request.”

A disbelieving laugh escaped Varkas.

”Do you believe you’re in a position to bargain with me?”

”I... I am not a member of the Grand Ducal House. I remain here only under Her Majesty the Empress’s orders, to care for Her Grace the Grand Duchess.”

Varkas leaned forward from the back of his chair.

Then he gave a slight nod, signaling for her to continue.

Startled, the woman instinctively took a step backward.

She squeezed her eyes shut and hurriedly blurted everything out.

”But after Her Grace the Grand Duchess dismissed me, saying she no longer needed me, I was abandoned among ordinary servants and left to perform menial labor. I can no longer endure such treatment. Once Her Grace the Grand Duchess has recovered... I ask that you allow me to return to the Empress’s Palace.”