The Forgotten Field

Before long, the sun had set.

How many hours had passed since he left the bedroom?

He looked up at the darkening sky beyond the window, trying to estimate the time, then quickened his pace down the corridor lit by torches.

He knew she regarded him as a jailer, so he tried not to grow impatient. Even so, his nerves were strained as though he had left behind a prisoner who might flee at any moment.

He walked straight through the corridor and stepped onto the stairs.

At that moment, Daren, who had hurried after him with heavy, pounding footsteps, urgently spoke to him.

“Your Grace, I understand how stifling this must feel, but...... is it truly all right to speak that way to His Majesty’s messenger? What will you do if that man reports Your Grace’s words exactly as they were?”

“Did you not listen to me?”

Varkas answered flatly, his gaze fixed straight ahead.

“Even if he does not report them, I intend to tell His Majesty myself.”

“......His Majesty likely made that offer out of goodwill toward Your Grace.”

Varkas, who had been descending the stairs, stopped in place and turned to look at him.

The man continued as though trying to persuade him.

“Wasn’t it a marriage forced through against your will because the Empress pressured him in the first place? His Majesty must be trying to correct that mistake through this opportunity. He likely assumed Your Grace would find it difficult to make the request first, and brought it up himself out of consideration......”

“Consideration?”

Varkas climbed one step back up and brought himself level with the man’s eyes before slowly speaking.

“You think suggesting that I throw the woman who nearly died giving birth to my child into a convent is consideration?”

The man swallowed dryly, his thick Adam’s apple bobbing, and turned his gaze aside with visible discomfort.

“I also find this incident regrettable. However......”

“If you find it regrettable......”

Varkas brought his face close to the man’s and breathed out in a low voice.

“Keep your mouth shut. There are countless knights in this world who died by their own lord’s hand after wagging their tongues too carelessly. Let us not add your name to that long list.”

“Your Grace.”

Just as he turned to continue down the stairs, the man hastily grabbed his shoulder.

Varkas glared at him with cold eyes.

As though pierced by that gaze, Daren flinched and let go of him, then released a weary sigh.

“Negative remarks concerning Her Highness the Grand Duchess are circulating among the retainers. If Your Grace continues responding as you have been, it will not be long before the Eastern Noble League also demands the same thing as His Imperial Majesty. Surely you do not intend to hang every retainer who offers loyal counsel out of concern for the future of the grand duchy?”

When he gave no answer, the man continued in a somewhat firmer tone.

“Your Grace has not even held the title for a full year yet. This is precisely the time when you must clearly prove your leadership. The ruler of the East cannot forever keep cleaning up after a woman who has lost her mind......”

“Daren.”

Varkas interrupted his aide in a gentle voice.

Whatever the man saw in his eyes, his chattering face went taut.

Varkas gazed calmly at that bloodless face and continued evenly.

“Only a little over a month has passed since tragedy befell my wife and me.”

“......”

“So stop whining like a child. Even now, unable to withstand your endless nagging, I am handling every essential duty I must perform as Grand Duke without fail. Because none of you are of any help whatsoever.”

When the man closed his mouth, unable to find a rebuttal, Varkas slowly turned away.

After passing through the corridor connected to the main castle and reaching the door of his bedroom, the soldier standing guard in the hallway saluted him with a tense expression.

Varkas walked past him and immediately threw the door open.

For an instant, his mind blurred.

As he breathed in the thick air where stale smoke mingled with a sweet fragrance, his already hazy vision seemed to sink beneath water.

Come to think of it, when was the last time he had closed his eyes?

It seemed to have been about two days ago. And even then, he had slept for only around an hour. Perhaps his body was finally reaching its limit.

Diagnosing his own condition with numb detachment, Varkas waited until his vision cleared, then shut the door behind him and entered the room.

“Did anything happen?”

When he asked the maid waiting beside the fireplace, the frozen girl answered in a voice so small it nearly disappeared.

“N-No, nothing happened.”

“And her meal?”

“S-She emptied a bowl of porridge a little while ago. After that, she took the medicine the healer prepared and is sleeping now.”

He approached the bedside and looked down at his wife, who was buried beneath the blanket.

Golden hair like fine threads clung like cobwebs to her pale face and nape, as though she had never once been touched by sunlight in her life.

He reached out to remove it, then lowered his arm again.

Lately, she had not been able to sleep deeply. Afraid he might disturb her rest, he merely gestured with his chin for the maid to leave. The young maid, nervously watching his expression, carefully left the bedroom.

Varkas walked to the fireplace and placed a mana stone upon the wavering flames. Then he removed his outerwear and tossed it aside carelessly before filling a basin with water to wash his hands.

Behind him, he heard a voice faint enough to vanish.

“How long......”

Turning his head over his shoulder, Varkas found his wife staring blankly at him and furrowed his brow.

The woman, worrying at lips where dried blood had crusted, forced out the rest in a voice that sounded as though it might crumble apart.

“How long do you intend to keep clinging to my side?”

He had to waste several seconds understanding what her words meant.

Picking up a towel, he answered with utter calm, as though she had asked something entirely trivial.

“Until you get better.”

A sound like leaking air slipped from the mouth of the woman staring blankly at him.

“You want me to get better?”

Recognizing the cynicism in those words, Varkas quietly looked down at her.

The woman, with a bleak smile cut across her lips, sent him a gaze like broken shards of glass.

Yet because of her wet eyes, she only looked hollow and pitiful.

Without even realizing what expression she was making, the woman poured out vicious words.

“But what should I do? As long as you remain beside me, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get better......”

Her thorned voice scraped past somewhere inside his body.

But that stinging sensation failed to reach his dulled consciousness and scattered like smoke.

Following that faint sensation, Varkas slowly closed and opened his eyes.

There was no need to dwell on words she was simply spilling at random. This woman merely needed an outlet for her emotions.

Repeating that inwardly, he was about to turn away as though nothing had happened when his lips, having slipped beyond the control of reason, let out a dry question.

“Why......”

The woman looked at him with dazed eyes.

Without understanding what he himself was asking, he moved his lips.

“Why can you not get better if I am here?”

For a moment, the woman looked as though she had forgotten what to say.

Then her face twisted faintly.

Soon after came a strained breath, as though she were coughing up something lodged in her throat.

“Looking at you hurts.”

In that instant, every thought stopped moving.

Those deep blue eyes that had ruled one corner of his consciousness for so many years seemed to drive him into a deep, dark place.

“So let’s stop now.”

She continued as though murmuring to herself.

“Anywhere is fine. Send me somewhere I can’t see you. I...... want to forget everything now.”

He remained frozen like a stone statue for only a moment before roughly tugging at his collar like a man being strangled.

Those lips had always spoken endless words she did not mean. They were not worth listening to.

Pulling open the buttons of his shirt, Varkas said coldly,

“You cannot go anywhere.”

At the voice that came out rougher than he had intended, a shadow of fear passed over her face.

Ordinarily, he would have thought of some way to erase it.

But now, he had no desire to soothe her.

He wanted this woman to be afraid.

So that she would never again dare make such a request aloud.