Rising Shards

Who even am I? The question was on Sai’s mind as their stay at the Taramin Labs continued.

Apparently, they came from a world that fell apart. There were four others with them, Ash, Myles, Esther, and Charmaine. All of them claimed to know Sai, but Sai couldn’t remember any of it.

They kept getting gifts from the scientists, like they were sad little creatures in need of help. Today, they got winter clothes. Sai picked out a pair of gloves and ripped the fingers off. They didn’t know why, but it felt right.

”Anything?” Ash asked. She kept stopping in and asking that. It hurt Sai every time they couldn’t answer. Ash said she was Sai’s best friend back home.

I’m sorry. I don’t know you at all. Ash at least had her sister and the others to rely on. Sai didn’t feel like they could, even when the others tried to help them remember.

”Serril,” Charmaine said. ”That mean anything to you? Little dragon dude? You carried him around in a box?”

Sai shrugged. ”Doesn’t ring a bell.”

Do I know anything? What do I know about myself? I’m sleepy, I know that.

Sai wasn’t sure if they should trust the scientists at the lab. Maybe they made all of this up. Maybe they were all just clones or creations cooked up in the big computers and vats all around the lab.

They say I’m a Cani.

Cani have fangs and tails, Sai gathered that much. And horns, and powers. Sai hadn’t figured out their powers yet, but they had seen the others in the practice range showing off incredible things. A side effect of them awakening to their powers, in addition to the horns, weird eyes, fangs, tails, was that it upped their raw energy levels significantly. Didn’t make Sai any less sleepy, but it was something.

Octa was the scientist they saw the most of. She treated them kindly, even if she was stoic and always talked in a flat tone. Sai could tell she was keeping a lot of information from them, though, and didn’t like that.

It sometimes was easiest to just be alone. When Ash was around, Sai just felt guilty for not remembering, and the others just kept trying to get Sai to remember instead of talking normally. Octa and the other scientists mostly just did tests.

What can I think of that feels concrete about me?

When so much felt like a dream, it was hard to know what felt ’real.’

My name is Sai. I know that for sure. I know that I go by ’they’ or ’them,’ that also feels right.

Thinking about anything past that hurt Sai’s head. And when they were already tired, headaches didn’t help.

The beds in their room were comfier than the medical ones at least. Sai stared up at the ceiling, much like they did when they first got to this world.

In these quiet moments, Sai still felt a pull internally to try and understand themselves. But when they asked questions in the darkness about themselves, their past, their wants and hopes, they only received silence in response.