Rising Shards

Aira felt a bit out of sorts, which she chalked up to maybe the new means of getting into the void and the short trip. Amara ran off shortly after they left the station and returned to the school just as lunch break was ending.

“If you could do me a favor Aira,” Naomi asked as she wrote down a hall pass for her, making sure Chumbler and Z.O.K. didn’t leave her sight.

“Sure, what is it?” Aira asked.

“Could you find a teacher and explain the situation?“ Naomi asked. “I have to file some reports, and get these two to super detention. I’ll corroborate your story when I get mine in, but I’d like a teacher made aware of the sudden void trip as soon as possible.”

“I want the record to show that I didn’t want the assassin package, by ‘take care’ I merely wanted those trains to beat Rain up.” Chumbler said.

“That isn’t much better,” Naomi said. “Thanks, Aira.”

“Yeah…” Aira said, watching as Naomi dragged Chumbler and Z.O.K. away.

She tried to think of what teacher to tell about her brief misadventure as she walked by some classrooms, peering in to see if any teacher was around.

“I could tell Caya,” Aira thought out loud. “I have experience giving her updates, but where even is she right now?”

“I think she’s stuck in meetings for the rest of the day,” Dr. Diast said, conveniently happening to be passing by. “Sorry to butt in if you were just thinking out loud. Is something up?”

“Um, I know class is about to start, but…” Aira quickly explained the situation.

“I see,” Diast said. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Also…can we talk after class?” Aira asked.

Aira almost expected Dr. Diast to turn down her request to have a chat. Since returning to Rising Shards, Aira kept picturing everyone telling her they didn’t want to talk to her anymore. But Dr. Diast set a time to meet up just like she did when things were still normal.

“Hey, come on in,” Diast said when Aira arrived at her office. 

“You’ve cleaned up a lot!” Aira said, noticing significantly less garbage strewn about. “Last time I was here it was…” 

“A total disaster, yeah.” Dr. Diast said. “Yep, I had someone push me to clean up.”

Aira explained the whole incident with the train in more detail than she was able to earlier. Diast wrote it all down, sounding relieved when Aira told her Naomi was also doing a report on it.

“I’m guessing that isn’t the only reason you wanted to talk,” Diast said. “So, what’s up?”

“I…” Aira sighed as she sat down. “I don’t wanna just be mopey, but. I’m feeling really mopey. I know you’re not technically my teacher advisor anymore, but I just…Ms. Letoh’s fine, don’t get me wrong, I just have vented to you before, so…”

“I get it, no worries there,” Diast said. “Been a rough time?”

“Yeah.” Aira said. “And I don’t wanna keep being a downer, but…after everything, maybe being a downer is what I deserve.”

“What do you mean?” Diast asked.

“I feel like I keep making the same mistakes over and over,” Aira said. “I’m trying to help people, but the train thing reminded me of it. I dive headfirst into something and get dragged into…some other dumb stuff. Today went alright, but I just feel like it showed I haven’t changed. And I want to change. But I keep making bad choices.”

“We all make mistakes,” Diast said. “And sometimes we make the same mistakes more than once. But that doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up forever about them.”

“You think so?” Aira asked.

“I know it from experience,” Diast said. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes over the years. But if you know your heart’s in the right place, I would hope you don’t go too hard on yourself. For anything that goes really bad, I find trying to learn from it helps me more than when I waste too much time in the guilt trenches. Easier said than done, so again, go easy on yourself. You’ve been through a lot in the last few months.”

“Yeah…” Aira said. “How do I know if my heart’s in the right place? I don’t know if it was when I was with the Kathrons. I don’t know if it was by the end of that trip at all.”

“It’s hard to say,” Diast said. “It’s a case where having a good personal value system can really come in handy.”

“Oh, yeah?” Aira asked. “Wait, I remember you mentioning that before. Back when Ovie kept making fun of me for my taste journal.”

“Right, and there’s nothing wrong with your hobby,” Diast said. “Having a firm value system helps you in times like that. Because even if your choices don’t work out the way you expect, operating by your values is a good way to keep your heart in the right place, to keep that heart train on the right place tracks, so to speak.”

“I see…” Aira said.

“And that was only kind of a pun on the whole train void trip.” Diast said.

“Dr. Diast!” Zeta said as she rushed into the room. “Er, oops.”

“Kind of in the middle of a meeting here,” Diast said.

“It’s fine,” Aira said, feeling the weight of everything lessen just a bit.