Rising Shards

I felt a deep dread as I approached Zeta. She was in the dorm’s lounge just as Kalei had told me, so I didn’t miss her. I figured it’d be best to just dive right in, and I couldn’t take the pain of Zeta mad at me any longer. She was at one of the computer stations, pouting a bit as she clicked.

“Hi Zeta,” I said. “I just want to clear the air and say that I’m so sorry.”

“Huh?” Zeta asked, her pout fading immediately seeing me. “Sorry? For what?”

This wasn’t what I had prepared for. If she was mad at me, did she want me to figure it out on my own? To realize what crime I had committed against her and tell her as part of my punishment?

“Well, the funny thing is,” I said. “I’m not sure what I’m sorry about, but I greatly value our friendship, and I think I made you really mad a bit ago when, so I wanted to clear the air a bit…and…hopefully…” I trailed off, as Zeta’s expression was not one of wanting me to verbally work out my misdeeds and wrongdoings. She looked incredibly confused, her face scrunching up a bit as though I’d just told her a really confusing riddle.

“Oh my gosh,” Zeta said, her confusion morphing into concern. “You thought…? I was…in a mode. Sorry. That wasn’t about you.”

“It wasn’t?” I squealed.

“I made you think it was about you? I’m so sorry.” Zeta said.

I was at a complete loss for words. We both were. My whole afternoon of worrying was apparently for something I misunderstood or imagined even (as worries tend to be), and now Zeta had to deal with my worries.

“Uh…’Meep…morp’…heh…” I said, because our little robot alien skit seemed like a good way to break the ice that had formed over “Alien communication moment, I guess…”

Zeta giggled. “Beep boop.” She scooted over and patted the seat (the computers in the lounge were equipped with curvy bench seats) so I could sit by her. I practically leapt up, this already feeling like a best-case scenario. Zeta had been doodling in a drawing application, mainly just drawing squiggles and patterns.

“The reason I was all mad there was…” Zeta said, opening a web browser. She groaned. “You’re going to think I’m really stupid for this.”

“I won’t, trust me.” I said.

“Alright…” Zeta said. “A noted and infamous Raina Starlight hater posted a video about the next Raina Starlight book.”

I nodded, following so far. Zeta couldn’t bring herself to click the video itself, but she showed me the page where the Raina Starlight hater had uploaded a video that just exuded bad energy. Like the picture preview thing was a guy with his arms crossed stepping on a pile of Raina books with a bunch of obnoxious text surrounding him.

“So this jerk was said it was a done deal that it was a failure before it even released! That its pre-release score on Thwombutzitz was catastrophic.”

“What the heck is a Thwombutzitz?” I asked.

“I have no idea! But I guess it scored a 99!” Zeta said.

“And that’s…good?” I said.

“Apparently that’s really really bad! And a 97 is really good? I don’t get it at all?” Zeta said. “I know it’s going to be a great book, all Raina books are, but I read the preview chapters and this one is gonna be so good, I can just tell. And it doesn’t release until spring so I don’t know why it’s even being graded like this so early!”

“That is weird…” I said.

“And then Stella called and she didn’t mean it but she was pushing all my buttons and it got me really steamed.” Zeta bit her lip. “I totally brushed you off when I left, didn’t I?”

“I…” I wanted to say no to make her feel better, but I didn’t think Zeta was the type who needed to be coddled like that. “Kinda, yeah.”

“Ugh, I’m really sorry.” Zeta said. “I get so wound up about jerks like this. Raina makes me so happy, so when I get blasted with people saying how much she sucks and how the thing I like is bad and the things I’m looking forward to are bad, and I get all steamed and get into debates online and…ugh! I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire of that.”

“I’m just glad I didn’t do anything to make you mad.” I said.

“What the heck would you do to make me mad?” Zeta asked. “You’re awesome.”

I got a bit of the tummy flutters hearing that. I had gone in all ready to plead my case, but instead I got to hear Zeta tell me I’m awesome.

“So…what’s that jerk guy’s deal then?” I asked.

“His whole career is hating on actual talented people, like he makes money doing this! He’s just a loser that hates on everything and gets people to pay him for hating on everything.”

“Why does anyone want to watch that?” I asked.

“Some people just wanna hate stuff, I guess,” Zeta said. “I, on the other hand, prefer to enjoy things, so.” She started typing, finally clicking away from the video of the jerk dunking on her favorite. She brought up pictures of a Raina Starlight magazine. “When I was younger, I used to just read this Raina magazine. They don’t make it anymore, but it had previews for her books and for Tower of Hate and Love, interviews, and liking it felt simpler then. I could just love Raina Starlight without any baggage. Now it’s just like being bombarded with why things I like suck when I look any of it up online.”

“Well that sucks.” I said, gears slowly turning in my head.

“It’s just a bummer when people like him are everywhere and then I get in a way about them…and hurt friend’s feelings, blegh. Again, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright, I forgive you.” I said.

“Thanks…” Zeta said. “I really wish I wouldn’t get in my head about crap like this so much.”

“Hmm,” I said. “Forgive me if this is a Tesata keeping me from the rest of the world situation but…like why care about people like him?”

“What do you mean?” Zeta asked.

I winced, not wanting to sound accusatory. “I just mean, it sounds like this guy sucks, this stupid Thwombutzitz is stupid and doesn’t make any sense, the debating…it all sounds like this stuff is just messing with what you love. Like surely this junk doesn’t make the new Raina Starlight book more enjoyable? So why even engage with it?”

Zeta frowned. “Huh…”

“Sorry…” I said. “That was probably too mean, I don’t know how any of this new…everything works, so—”

“No, it wasn’t mean!” Zeta said. “I…that’s really smart.” She blinked. “That’s really smart, what the heck…”

“I know it’s probably a lot of them pushing content like that at you,” I said. I may have been new to computers and the internet and whatnot, but I could tell already how invasive and pushy some ads could be. “That would probably be harder to avoid…”

“But still.” Zeta said. “It might be good to step back a bit.”

“Maybe find more ways to enjoy it that are like the magazine?” I suggested. “And cut out the junk like Thwombutzitz and jerk video guys?”

“I like it.” Zeta said.

“And if you wanted,” I said. “If you need someone to talk about Raina and Tower of Hate and Love that isn’t all…like that jerk guy. Like, when we watch more of it together, I…I mean I like it a lot so far. I trust your taste.” I faltered mid-sentence and it turned into a mess of rambling with various topics, but I think the point got through to Zeta, who beamed and nodded along as I talked.

“That sounds so awesome! See? You’re awesome.” Zeta said. “I hereby appoint you my official cool friend in Raina Starlight fandom.”

I accepted that new title gladly. Zeta got really nostalgic about the Raina Starlight magazine, and showed me a bunch of pages from them that people had scanned and put online.

“You know, my magazine kinda reminds me of your theater book.” Zeta said.

“It does?” I asked. The Raina magazine had pictures from the set of Tower of Hate and Love, which was a lot like the behind-the-scenes book detailing my favorite musical about street sweepers. “I guess they are kinda similar.”

“Oooh, we should see if they have that book at the library!” Zeta said.

“Do you think they would?” I asked. “It was pretty old.”

“It’s worth a look, isn’t it?” Zeta said.

The glimmer in Zeta’s eyes made my answer easy.

While they didn’t have the book at the school’s library, Zeta showed me how to interlibrary loan a copy, so I would be able to see a childhood favorite again soon. Back in our room, I felt totally content, relief washing over me after the stress I put myself through. I tried to look casual as I wrote down the events in my journal, not wanting Kalei to start wondering why I was filling a whole page with talk about how much I enjoyed Zeta’s passionate anger when she was defending Raina Starlight.

“I should talk things over with you more, that really helped.” Zeta said, stretching her arms and legs out after climbing into bed.

“Heh…” I said. “Beep blorp.”

“Zates was steamed because someone said Raina smelled like ass, right? I was totally right about that.” Kalei said.

“What? No!” Zeta said. “It was that, one guy that makes all the videos about Raina Starlight sucking.”

“Popcorn Opinions or whatever his name is?” Kalei said.

“Yes!” Zeta said.

“Oh yeah, that guy suuuucks.” Kalei said.

“I’m gonna try really hard to cut anybody like that and sites like Thwombutzitz out of my Raina Starlight time.” Zeta vowed to herself.

“Hey, Thwombutzitz is pretty good.” Kalei said.

As Zeta and Kalei got into a (generally lighthearted) debate about the merits of some website, I continued journaling, smiling the whole time.

So I’m realizing I may be a little obsessive about Zeta. That’s something I should probably investigate next once I finish my intel gathering mission. I don’t wanna get like ultra-deluxe obsessive. That’d probably be bad, right?

For now, let me just enjoy telling you all about my friend.