Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 71: Chapter 69

”Shoo! Get away from us!” one of them waved me off like I was the problem here.

”Just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you get to ridicule us!”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

Because somehow, I had just bullied eight highly dangerous, heavily armed lunatics and ended up being the villain in their emotional support group.

I scratched my head, still trying to process how things had spiraled this far, and instinctively glanced back for backup.

Support, guidance, divine intervention, anything.

What I got instead was Agatha standing a safe distance away, giving me a very enthusiastic thumbs up like I had just delivered a stellar performance on stage.

And beside her was Gawain, bent over, gasping for air like he had just outrun death itself, which, to be fair, he had.

He caught my eye and immediately started mouthing exaggerated words, his face lighting up with admiration I absolutely did not deserve.

’You really are a villainess, My Lady!

Go! Go! Go!

Crush their spirit so hard they had no choice but to crawl!’

I stared at him, long and hard.

Oh, I was going to crush something, alright.

Preferably his skull.

Still...

I sighed internally, because as much as I wanted to launch him back toward the Mad Dogs as a peace offering, the mission was technically a success. They weren’t chasing him anymore. They weren’t even thinking about him.

Instead, they were—

I turned and looked back at them.

—huddled together.

Comforting each other.

Sniffling.

Looking like a pack of emotionally devastated puppies who had just been told they were adopted as a joke.

”...Are they really lunatics?” I muttered under my breath.

Because just a few moments ago, they had looked like they were ready to commit several crimes in broad daylight. Now they looked like they needed blankets, hot chocolate, and maybe a group hug.

What kind of emotional range was this?

I glanced back again, just in time to see Gawain somehow produce a banner out of nowhere.

”YOU’RE THE BEST WHEN IT COMES TO INSULTING SOMEONE!!!”

I felt my eye twitch.

After everything I’d done.

After risking my life.

After becoming a public enemy.

This was the support I got?

I narrowed my eyes at Gawain one last time, mentally scheduling his funeral for later, before rolling my eyes and turning back to the Mad Dogs.

Fine. I could do damage control.

Probably.

When I took a step forward, they immediately reacted.

I took a cautious step forward, and immediately all eight of them reacted like I had just declared war again.

They tightened their formation, huddling together like I was some kind of emotional predator, glaring at me as if I had personally ruined their childhoods.

”What?” one of them snapped defensively. ”You haven’t had enough insulting us?”

”Yeah,” another added, pointing accusingly. ”Haven’t you done enough damage already?!”

I stopped a few steps away, raising both hands slightly in what I hoped looked like a non-threatening gesture and not the prelude to another verbal assault.

”I just came to say sorry.”

They stared at me suspiciously.

”This better not be another insult,” one of them warned, squinting like he was ready to dodge words.

I quickly shook my head. ”It’s not. I wasn’t really insulting all of you,” I said, attempting damage control with the confidence of someone who had no idea what they were doing, ”I was just... telling the truth.”

The air suddenly froze, even the birds who were flying peacefully stopped just to look at me.

Even I felt it because the moment the words left my mouth, I knew that was definitely not the correct sentence but it was too late to take it back.

So, in a desperate attempt to salvage what little dignity I had left, I turned around like I had just dropped wisdom instead of emotional explosives.

Behind me—

silence.

Then—

”LET ME KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO THAT WOMAN!”

I flinched.

One of them had completely lost it.

I heard the sudden movement, the aggressive step forward, followed by the sound of someone being physically held back.

”Calm down!”

”It’s not worth it!”

”Don’t fall for her provocation!”

”I’M NOT PROVOKED, I’M ENLIGHTENED!”

I risked a glance over my shoulder.

The guy was being restrained by two others, struggling like a man possessed, kicking at the air as if it personally offended him.

”LET ME GO!” he shouted, pointing at me like I was the root of all evil. ”I NEED to correct her personality!”

”...Correct my personality?” I repeated under my breath, mildly offended.

Another one patted his shoulder. ”She’s not worth it, brother.”

”She attacked your hairline AND your dignity,” someone added sympathetically.

”That’s two critical hits...”

I stared at them, genuinely unsure whether I should be apologizing harder or just running away again.

Because somehow, I had escalated the situation while trying to de-escalate it.

”...Okay,” I muttered to myself, pressing two fingers to my temple like I could physically hold my thoughts in place. ”New rule. I’m not allowed to talk anymore.”

Behind me, the chaos hadn’t exactly calmed down.

There was still some struggling, a few indignant noises, and what sounded like someone trying to land a kick mid-air while being restrained, but gradually the energy shifted from ”we are emotionally wounded” to ”wait... weren’t we doing something?”

”Hey,” one of them said suddenly, voice cutting through the mess, ”what was our mission again?”

There was a collective pause.

The kind where eight brains tried to boot up at the same time.

”...Snake hunting?” someone offered uncertainly.

Silence.

A longer pause.

The kind that slowly creeps in and makes everything worse.

”...So where’s the snake?”

”Did we... lose him?” another voice said slowly.

”For the second time?” someone added, horror creeping in.

”Oh no.”

I could practically hear the collective realization hit them all at once.

”I’m out,” one of them declared immediately. ”I don’t want the Commander to find out we messed up like Spade.”

”Ugh, don’t remind me,” another groaned, visibly shuddering. ”Thinking about Spade’s punishment still gives me chills.”

”What was it again?” someone asked, like they were willingly reopening trauma.

”Run a hundred laps without resting,” a voice answered grimly, ”or he gets to spar with the Commander.”

A collective shiver passed through them.

”...I’d rather run until my legs fall off.”

”Same.”

Another pause before a very dangerous voice spoke up.

”Unless...”

Before he even finished the sentence, I already felt it.

”...we show proof that it wasn’t our fault.”

Eight heads turning.

Eight pairs of eyes locking onto my back like heat-seeking missiles.

I didn’t even need to turn around as I closed my eyes for a brief second, exhaling slowly like someone accepting their fate.

”It’s been a while...” I sighed, cracking my neck like someone who had just accepted their fate with alarming calmness.

”Since someone tried to kill me,” I continued before I ran with no hesitation.

Just pure, unfiltered survival instinct as I bolted forward at full speed, clutching my life choices behind me like loose baggage.

”GET HER!”

”IT’S HER FAULT!”

”CATCH THAT RUDE WOMAN!”

”REDEEM OUR HONOR!”

”FOR OUR DIGNITY!”

Footsteps thundered behind me almost instantly.

I didn’t look back because I didn’t need to, the volume alone told me everything.

”...I hate this day!” I shouted into the wind, sprinting like my life, and honestly, my entire future, depended on it.

Somewhere behind me, I could hear Gawain actually cheering. ”YOU CAN DO IT, MY LADY!”

I almost tripped.

’I am going to survive this. And when I did, I was going to personally make sure he didn’t.’

Fueled by spite, adrenaline, and a rapidly declining sense of morality, I sprinted straight toward the busiest part of the street.

If I was going down, I was taking witnesses with me. Preferably a lot of witnesses.

People were everywhere—vendors, shoppers, bystanders who clearly did not sign up to be part of whatever this had become.

Perfect.

Mid-run, I slowed just enough to absolutely ruin my own appearance. I messed up my hair, tugged at my clothes, and added a slight stagger to my steps like I had been through something deeply traumatic—which, to be fair, I had.

Then I deeply inhaled and unleashed the loudest scream I was physically capable of.

”HEEEEEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!”

Heads instantly turned to look at me.

Conversations stopped mid-sentence. A fruit vendor nearly dropped his entire stall. Someone gasped. Someone else pointed.

’Showtime.’

I ”tripped”—intentionally, of course—crumpling onto the ground in the most pitiful, helpless way I could manage.

Ten out of ten performance.

Absolutely convincing.

”THEY’RE ABOUT TO KIDNAP ME!” I cried, voice trembling as I pointed behind me with shaking hands.

Right on cue, the Mad Dogs arrived, all eight of them. Looking aggressive and confused.

Because instead of a clear path to chase their target, they were met with a crowd of civilians staring at them like they had just walked into the wrong play.

One of the bystanders stepped back.

Another pulled a child closer.

A group of men exchanged looks that clearly translated to ’should we intervene?’

The Mad Dogs slowed down, only a few feet away from me.

”...Wait,” one of them said, looking around.

”Why are they looking at us like that?” another muttered.

A woman in the crowd gasped dramatically. ”They’re kidnappers?!”

”No!” one of the Mad Dogs immediately snapped, hands raised. ”That’s not—”

”She pointed at you!” someone else argued.

”Yeah, that’s her!” another added, nodding with unnecessary confidence.

I stayed on the ground, trembling convincingly, clutching my arm like I had suffered emotional and possibly physical damage.

”They’ve been chasing me!” I added, voice breaking just enough to earn sympathy points.

”WE WERE NOT—” one of them tried again.

”You literally chased me across the street!” I shot back, not even letting him finish.

”That was—”

”You said ’GET HER!’” I added helpfully.

”...That was out of context!”

The crowd murmured.

One of the Mad Dogs rubbed his face. ”This is bad.”

”Very bad,” another agreed.

”Commander is going to kill us.”

”Again.”

Meanwhile, I slowly pushed myself up, still playing the role, shrinking slightly behind a nearby bystander like I needed protection from the big, scary, extremely misunderstood group of armed men.

’Which, technically, wasn’t a lie.’

I peeked out just enough to meet their eyes then gave them the smallest, most innocent look I could manage.

One of them pointed at me, betrayal written all over his face. ”She’s lying!”

The crowd gasped again because apparently, accusing a trembling woman of lying was not a great move in front of an audience.

”Oh, so now you’re calling her a liar?” someone from the crowd snapped.

”Oh, they’re definitely kidnappers.”

”We should report them!”

”No, wait—call the guards!”

The Mad Dogs collectively froze.

I could practically see the panic setting in—the widening eyes, the subtle shifting, the collective realization that things had gone very, very wrong.

And because I was apparently committed to making enemies for life, I decided to add just a little more fuel to the fire.

I caught their gaze, lifted my hand, and gave them a neat little salute then I smiled again and mouthed, ”See you never, lunatics.”

That did it.

One of them snapped like a twig under pressure. ”DID YOU SEE THAT?!” he shouted, pointing at me like I had personally ruined his career. ”SHE’S ACTING! SHE’S THE LUNATIC ONE HERE!”

Unfortunately for him, that was not the winning argument in front of a crowd that had already picked a side.

A few people started moving towards them, enough to make eight highly dangerous men collectively decide that discretion was the better part of not getting arrested.

”This is bad—this is very bad!”

”Retreat!”

”Strategic retreat!”

”We’ll deal with this later!”

One of them looked back at me while being dragged along by his teammates, face twisted in equal parts outrage and wounded pride. ”WE’LL HAVE OUR REVENGE NEXT TIME, YOU LUNATIC!”

They ran away, chased by a very motivated group of civilians who probably had no idea what was going on but were fully committed anyway.

I watched them disappear into the distance, and for the first time in what felt like hours, I felt peace.

I exhaled, rolled my shoulders, and turned, only to spot Agatha and Gawain standing comfortably at the side like they had just finished watching a live performance.

I walked straight up to Gawain and smacked him on the head.

Smack.

”What was that for?” he mumbled, rubbing the spot with a deeply offended expression.

”My reward for helping you,” I said sweetly.

He pouted immediately. ”You really must be a lunatic, My Lady.”

”Shut up and just carry me.”

Before he could protest, I handed my energy stone to Agatha.

The moment it left my hand, the familiar shift took over, my form shrinking, reshaping, until I was once again a leopard.

I tapped on my OmniSync, typing quickly before turning the screen toward Agatha.

”Let’s go back to Soren’s estate.”

She read it, then glanced at Gawain. ”With him?”

I nodded.

Gawain, still holding me like a very expensive, slightly judgmental cat, frowned. ”The ’coincidental meeting’ plan you had miserably failed, My Lady. Please don’t make plans anymore.”

Without hesitation, I flicked my tail and smacked him across the side.

Thwap.

”HEY—!”

I ignored him completely.

Because no, the plan hadn’t failed. It had simply... evolved.

Agatha led the way towards the Portal Station.

Meanwhile, Gawain carried me grumbling something under his breath, while I closed my eyes to take a nap.