Gun of Ashes

”A game, ah, this is a good game... but I prefer it a bit fairer, though unfortunately the new Order doesn’t want me to do that,” he said with a look of distress on his face.

”A fair game?”

Lorenzo cautiously observed his surroundings; he was confident he could kill Moriarty in one blow, but he was unsure of what would unfold afterward, as Moriarty must have something up his sleeve.

Both men were cunning gamblers, and before that moment of desperation arrived, neither knew what the other would do.

”Yes, I... that thing is called Iron Serpent, right? I warned you at the time, but regretfully, you still failed,” Moriarty said, ”I’ve read your file, you used to be so perfect, but now you’ve started blending in with those guys, becoming ordinary among the crowd.”

”A Demon Hunter should be cold and ruthless, efficiently killing every enemy. But look at you now, Lorenzo, you’ve become like a street thug... You’ve even begun supporting those orphans, do you really think you’re human?”

As he finished speaking, Moriarty suddenly laughed; his Secret Blood hadn’t awakened, and the surroundings were eerily calm.

”Did you take such a big risk to come see me just to say these things?”

Lorenzo wasn’t disrupted by his words; there wasn’t much in the room that could be utilized, but Lorenzo was confident he could kill him before being caught by Authority Raphael.

”Not just that, I was also very curious, about how you turned into what you are now.”

”Do you think I should be a monster?”

”Isn’t that what we are? We’re of the same kind, only we happen to have human shells... but in reality, we are not human.”

Moriarty’s amber eyes seemed to glow in the dim light; his approachable demeanor now turned terrifying, carrying chaos and violence.

”What a pity, Lorenzo Holmes, didn’t you realize all of this?” he asked.

”Alright, it’s not your fault, actually it took me a long time to realize this too... We are different, it’s somewhat hard to understand, but that’s how it is. We are different from other people, not just because of whether we have Secret Blood, but because of the difference in that will.”

He knocked his head hard, even though there was no erosion surging, Lorenzo could feel an eerie frenzy from Moriarty; he could clearly perceive the unease and agitation within his heart. He wanted to kill this bizarre guy in front of him, but deep inside, something was stirring.

”We are smart, smart enough to see through this falsehood, realizing we are monsters, yet we have human shells.

As monsters, we clearly know we are born as monsters, never able to become human, but because of this human shell, we can’t truly become monsters either.

The feeling of being caught in the crevice is really unpleasant.”

Moriarty’s voice was very faint, but it seemed to have a magical power, as everything in its sound would be stirred into chaos.

”Can you understand, Lorenzo Holmes? You can’t truly blend into the crowd, yet you can’t find monsters like us.”

”Therefore, when I first saw you, I was so happy, ah, I’m not alone, Lorenzo Holmes.”

Moriarty excitedly approached; his amber eyes reflected Lorenzo’s face, as if to embrace him.

”This feeling of loneliness is really hard to bear, you clearly know your difference, but you can’t express it to others, and those people can’t understand you, after all, in their eyes you are like them, the same kind, all humans.

Your troubles, in their view, are just madness, your expressions become strange murmurs... They usually treat us this way, locking us up here, in Old Dunling we should be called mentally ill, while in Florence we are called heretics.”

He spoke faster and faster, a rare sight. Lorenzo felt for the first time Moriarty’s emotional loss of control; everything at present wasn’t some cunning or conspiracy, but seemed to be his true feelings, frighteningly true feelings.

”Can you understand, Lorenzo Holmes? I also know this is an inescapable predicament. I need something else to save myself, like religious beliefs, or power and wealth.

But isn’t the saddest point precisely this? Because I’m too ’smart’, I recognize the essence of my monstrous nature, and how can these illusory religions, beliefs, wealth, and power deceive me?”

Moriarty grabbed his own shoulder fiercely; the words carried intense anger. For a moment Lorenzo forgot to resist, instead recalling that old man destined to die because of his words.

Sometimes Lorenzo would think of that dying figure, hearing Shermans’ answer echo.

”People always need to believe in something to deceive themselves.”

Yet Moriarty couldn’t deceive himself; those things lingered around him like a curse, until he encountered himself.

”I’m not alone, I’m not the only monster.”

Moriarty was extremely excited; he grabbed Lorenzo’s face tightly, forcing him to look directly at his eyes.

It’s a dangerous posture; Moriarty’s chest was completely exposed in front of Lorenzo, Lorenzo had a full opportunity to deal a severe blow, even to kill him, and Moriarty’s eyes met Lorenzo’s gaze, which was the prerequisite for Authority Raphael to activate. Once Secret Blood rose, Lorenzo would instantly be dragged into a delusional frenzy.