A Pawn's Passage

New Year’s Eve marked the last day of the 41st year of the Jiushi Era. After midnight, it would officially be the start of the 42nd year of the Jiushi Era.

No matter how reluctant Tantai Qiong was, she still invited Qi Xuansu to join them for a New Year’s Eve reunion dinner, for the sake of her daughter and Pei Xiaolou. However, this meal was cold and awkward, devoid of the atmosphere of a reunion.

Zhang Yuyue and Dong Baijing went to the Dazhen Mansion. Even from Shangqing Town, they could see the brightly lit Dazhen Mansion, like a palace in the sky. On the contrary, Shangqing Palace was dim, with only a few candles lit. It almost blended into the night.

In fact, small branches of the Zhang family could also go to Dazhen Mansion for the New Year’s Eve reunion dinner. However, Zhang Juqi had some conflicts with the Zhang family, so he did not want to attend. In the past, when Zhang Yuelu was away, Zhang Juqi and Tantai Qiong would go their separate ways.

With Zhang Yuelu at home, she was the tiebreaker. Zhang Yuelu had no interest in entertaining others, so since the father and daughter did not want to go to the Dazhen Mansion, Tantai Qiong did not go either.

The high-ranking priests from the Quanzhen Sect had already left Dazhen Mansion on a flying ship the day before New Year’s Eve, returning to the Jade Capital to report back to the Earthly Preceptor. They would then accompany the Earthly Preceptor back to the Chongyang Palace of Immortality in Difei Mountain after the Earthly Preceptor handed over the position of the Great Sage Lunzhi to the Imperial Preceptor.

Before the Quanzhen Sect priests left, Zhang Jucheng and Zhang Juping went to see them off and handed over some gifts and a letter addressed to the Earthly Preceptor from the Heavenly Preceptor.

After a quiet New Year’s Eve dinner, Zhang Juqi and Tantai Qiong left the dinner table, giving Qi Xuansu and Zhang Yuelu some space.

Instead of playing cards or practicing swordsmanship, Qi Xuansu and Zhang Yuelu went for a walk up the mountain. They turned a corner and came to a small lake with bamboo forests surrounding it. The moon was bright, and the display of fireworks was colorful and gorgeous, especially when reflected on the rippling surface of the lake.

The pair stood side by side as they admired the colorful and dazzling fireworks that were constantly exploding in the night sky. For a while, neither of them spoke. All they could hear was the booming fireworks.

The more lively it was, the more lonely one felt.

Qi Xuansu drank a lot during dinner, first with Zhang Juqi and then with Zhang Yuelu after Zhang Juqi left the table. After all, it was New Year’s Day, so drinking was perfectly acceptable.

He did not deliberately dispel his drunkenness with his qi, so he was quite tipsy at that point. He felt like he was in a dream, stepping on cotton. He also felt out of place on Yunjin Mountain, like a complete outsider. The hustle and bustle here had nothing to do with him.

This made him miss the times when he was wandering the world alone. He also missed Jade Capital a little. At least there were many people like him in those places, so his loneliness was not so obvious.

Zhang Yuelu keenly felt the change in his mood, so she asked softly, “What are you thinking about?”

Qi Xuansu mumbled as if he were sleep-talking. “I’m recalling how I spent New Year’s Eve in the past.”

Zhang Yuelu became curious. “How did you spend them?”

Qi Xuansu replied, “When I was in the Wanxiang Daoist Palace, everyone got together. We don’t feel much about it since we’re all orphans. At the time, we were young, so we only cared about having fun.

“After I left the Wanxiang Daoist Palace, my master took me in. We lived together in Haichan Place and depended on each other for everything. Since neither of us knew how to cook elaborate dishes, we’d just have two bowls of noodles for New Year’s Eve dinner. We treated it as longevity noodles and celebrated the New Year as our birthdays.”

Qi Xuansu’s gaze was distant, immersed in his memories.

“At the time, I asked my master to get married. That way, we would be a complete family of three. In fact, I even suggested that Aunt Cui from next door was a pretty good candidate. She had a well-paid and decent job in Duzhi Hall. She also had a good personality and appearance. Most importantly, she was single. She was our neighbor for so many years, so we knew everything about her. But every time I brought it up, my master would smack my forehead and laugh it off. Later, my master died...”

Qi Xuansu suddenly paused, his tone depressed.

“After my master died, I was left alone...”

“Tian Yuan.” Zhang Yuelu reached out to hold Qi Xuansu’s hand. “Don’t think about it.”

“That’s how I spent my New Year’s Eve.” Qi Xuansu murmured, “At this time last year, I was in Qizhou. A Taiping Inn was still open, so I asked for a bottle of wine and a few side dishes. I stayed in their lobby all night and met several people like me there, so we shared a table and drank together. Although we met by chance, we had similar experiences, so we understood each other.

“The year before that, I was seriously injured, so I was in bed recovering from my injuries. Madam Qi came over to take care of me and cooked a bowl of noodles for me. To be honest, those noodles were not great. The eggs weren’t even cooked properly. But I think that was the best New Year’s Eve I had after my master’s death.

“This year is nice too, with you around. But the way Madam Tantai looked at me at the dinner table just now... I know that everyone thinks I’m not good enough for you. If I were in their place, I would have the same thoughts. But I’m not in that position, so I have to think from my perspective.”

Zhang Yuelu glanced at Qi Xuansu in surprise. “You’re drunk.”

Normally, Qi Xuansu would never say these words, but he could not hold his tongue after a few drinks.

Qi Xuansu did not seem to hear her. “I don’t care if they look down on me. I don’t have ambitions to save the world or bring peace to the world. I’m not the Holy Xuan. I’m just a tiny pawn to the people of power. But one day, I want everyone in the Daoist Order to look up to me.”

Zhang Yuelu did not comment. Qi Xuansu acted like he did not care about what people thought of him. But deep down, he did. He was always criticized and ridiculed, so how could he be completely indifferent to it?

These days, he had been holding it in and enduring the insults.

Suddenly, Qi Xuansu gripped Zhang Yuelu’s hand tightly. Her hand trembled slightly from shock, but she did not retract it.

Qi Xuansu stared at Zhang Yuelu intently. Even with the bright moonlight, everything else seemed to blur in the background. All he could focus on was her face, which was illuminated intermittently by the glow of the fireworks.

He declared, “You always say that I’m content with small riches and that I’m not ambitious enough. This time, I want to work hard to be successful, so that I can prove to those people that you have a keen eye.”

Zhang Yuelu smiled. “I’m waiting for that day.”

Qi Xuansu, who had been so talkative, finally kept quiet. He pursed his lips tightly, tensing his chiseled jaw.

Zhang Yuelu looked at his roguish face and suddenly felt that it was unnecessary to change all his bad habits. If Qi Xuansu got rid of his habits and became an honest and typical Daoist priest, would that mean that his rough edges would also disappear? If so, would he still be able to say all these bold words?

Qi Xuansu slowly let go of Zhang Yuelu’s hand. He seemed to have sobered up a little. Then he took a few steps back, inhaled deeply, and mustered up his courage to say, “Qing Xiao, there has always been a fuzzy line between us. What exactly are we? Are we good friends who have been through life and death together? Or confidants? Anyway, I don’t like things being so complicated. I want to marry you publicly!”

Zhang Yuelu blinked her eyes, as if she were trying to determine whether this was a drunken stupor or his true feelings that he only dared to express with the boost of some liquid courage.

Qi Xuansu pointed at the Dazhen Mansion in the distance and continued, “I’m not envious of your family background or abilities. I just like you very, very much. Your heart is so pure and righteous. You are the only one, besides my master and Madam Qi, who has high hopes for me. I’m a straightforward person, and I don’t know how to sweet-talk girls. I have never fallen in love at first sight. I just know that I want to follow my heart and marry you in a grand ceremony up there one day.”

This time, Zhang Yuelu did not smile. Her expression was serious as she repeated what she said earlier, “I’m waiting for that day.”