The Trash Returned from Warhammer

”Is the pilot of Unit-02 difficult to deal with?”

In the dusk, Ayanami Rei sat quietly on a bench, head bowed as she leafed through a book, with a thick stack of love letters placed beside her.

”Rei, you’ve actually started taking an interest in these things.” Shinji looked at her with some surprise. Seeing the girl reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and continue reading without answering, he didn’t dwell on it.

He couldn’t be bothered to overthink it, nodding emphatically.

”I wouldn’t call her difficult. Warriors always have distinct personalities. Pride and a refusal to lose are very common traits; in fact, they are virtues.”

Shinji didn’t take it to heart at all. Over the years, he had seen countless warriors with eccentric personalities; mere pride was the most common type, and as for refusing to lose, that was a merit.

”Are you saying that people with my personality have no virtues?” Rei paused mid-page and asked point-blank.

’Uh, why are you projecting?’

”That is not the case. I have encountered cold-type warriors just like you—those who didn’t say a single word throughout the entire campaign, clad in black armor, who annihilated the enemy entirely.”

Rei paused. She felt something was off about that description, but having grown accustomed to Shinji’s unique personal tastes, she said nothing.

”The Second Children has an offensive-type personality. Such people often use an aggressive exterior to cover up inner panic. The more they care about something, the more they fear it.”

”You mean she cares a lot about her combat record?” Shinji sat nearby with interest, watching the summer breeze lift the girl’s skirt, revealing her fair thighs.

”She wants to gain recognition. Defeating an Angel is the greatest form of recognition, and you snatched all the credit. That is why the Second Children’s attitude is hostile.”

Shinji thought about it seriously; it actually made sense.

He chuckled, ”But I won’t be giving up the title of champion.”

”You refuse to lose, too?”

Shinji puffed out his chest, his expression burning with intensity: ”Because I am, by nature, a Champion Warrior!”

In that moment, Rei stared at him blankly. The sunset dyed the youth in blood-red. She saw not a trace of posturing or arrogance on his face; his worldview was bizarre and his thoughts were odd, yet he was surprisingly sincere.

Every micro-expression was tempered by fire, and every heartbeat sounded like the clashing of steel. That confidence was already deeply ingrained in his marrow—just like the sun slowly sinking in the sky, immovable and unquestionable.

Rei quietly turned her face, feeling her cheeks burning. She happened to see the page of her book, which read: ’The weak are always attracted to the strong; this is an irreversible instinct.’ She suddenly realized that books truly are wonderful things.

”Say, how did you become so smart today? You’re actually able to analyze human nature.” Shinji noticed her strange expression, but he was more concerned with another aspect—Rei was growing, but this growth felt far too rapid.

To his surprise, no sooner had he finished speaking than he sensed a thread of indignation from her. Just as he was wondering why she was angry, he saw the book being held up.

’Cognitive Psychology?’

Shinji raised an eyebrow. That was putting theory into practice, all right. Seeing that Rei was still ignoring him, he began to feel troubled.

’This ”blank slate” is learning too fast. I can’t figure out what she’s thinking anymore—why is she angry? Why did she go through the meaningless trouble of returning those letters?’

He thought and thought, then his pupils contracted sharply, and he slapped his thigh hard.

’I was careless. Knowledge is a double-edged sword. This is clearly Tzeentchian corruption! By the Emperor, I almost fell into the trap of those blue-skinned liars.’

He snatched the book directly from her hands. Seeing her confused gaze, he said piously, ”From now on, all profound books like psychology will be subject to censorship. We must remain vigilant against the corruption of Tzeentch.”

’Before it was Slaanesh, why has Tzeentch popped up now?’

Rei blinked her crimson eyes, unable to understand the youth’s words. She simply held out a hand: ”Return it.”

’The signs of corruption have already intensified.’

Shinji was heartbroken—this was his responsibility. Fortunately, the primary enemies of the Blood Ravens were those blue-skinned liars, so he had extensive experience in dealing with them.

Curiosity and the thirst for knowledge were the beginning of the fall. If one could not annihilate them physically, one could only resist corruption by diverting attention.

”That’s settled then.” He calmly hid the book behind his back. Seeing her reach for it, he pressed down on her head. ”We aren’t going to Headquarters today. We have more important things to do.”

Sure enough, Rei’s hand froze in mid-air, her curiosity diverted elsewhere. One had to know that Shinji never missed a training session, a habit that left the vacation-less Maya Ibuki and the others groaning in misery.

”What important thing?”

Before she could finish, Shinji pulled her up and headed straight toward the Old City.

”I haven’t seen your residence yet. There’s no time like the present—let’s do it today.”

His tone allowed for no negotiation. Rei had barely regained her composure before she was being led across the overpass.

’Huh???’

-

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The False Visit: Using a pretense of delivering handouts or a sick visit, full of nerves and expectation, sneaking into a girl’s home like a thief, one’s mind filled with the corruption of Slaanesh.

The True Visit: Walking in front with a straight back like the master of the house, scanning the surroundings with a vigilant and professional eye, one’s mind occupied only by concern for a battle-brother.

As a Champion Warrior, Shinji was very concerned about Rei’s physical and mental health. However, upon arriving at the Old City and seeing those dilapidated apartment buildings, showing almost no signs of human life, his eyebrows knitted slightly.

”NERV lets you live in a place like this?”

He looked around. The residents had long since moved out; there was not a trace of life in the entire district. However, this graveyard-like neighborhood suited Rei’s style quite well.

”Yes. This way.” Rei at least managed to take the lead, entering one of the buildings.

The walls were covered in cracks, the corridor as dark and oppressive as a haunted house. Many room doors were broken; no one lived in the entire building. In this godforsaken place, anyone with a little less courage would be a nervous wreck.

Shinji looked at the slender back in front of him. He felt no ”pity,” merely extreme confusion.

”You are the precious First Children. What is the Logistics Department doing? Only by guaranteeing your standard of living can your combat effectiveness be properly ensured.”

Logistics were the guarantee of combat strength; otherwise, the Astartes wouldn’t need a homeworld. A Chapter has countless serfs—warriors only need to fight.

”I’m not picky about where I live.”

”Then do you live happily?”

Rei’s foot paused slightly on the stairs. She had never thought about these questions before, but these days, she had a point of comparison.

”Hmm. Not as happily as I live at Misato-san’s house.”

The two soon reached the fourth floor, traversed the lonely corridor, and stopped in front of a shabby door.

402, Ayanami.

This was Rei’s residence. The door was unlocked. After pushing it open, Shinji’s confusion turned into a trace of anger.

The room was simple to the extreme: a single bed, a nightstand, and a refrigerator. Sunlight filtered through the partially covered curtains, revealing intimate apparel hanging haphazardly in the corner. Unlike Misato’s, these had no patterns—just simple, pure white.

Shinji’s nose twitched, picking up a strange odor: a mix of rotting food, residual blood, and the girl’s own scent.

If Misato Katsuragi was ”unconventional,” Ayanami Rei simply lacked the concept of ”living.”

The room was indescribably messy. The floor was strewn with books, the nightstand held unfinished medicine, and the trash can was piled high with blood-stained bandages.

The only sign of ”life” was the doll on the nightstand—a gift he had bought her a few days ago.

Then, Shinji saw a pair of broken glasses.

”Is this how Gendo Ikari takes care of you? I must say, it’s very much his style.”

There was no complaint in his voice, only deep mockery.

Rei didn’t respond. She looked around, realizing there was no place for a guest to sit. She stood there like a stalled machine, watching Shinji wander around her room.

’The bathroom doesn’t even have a door—truly no vigilance. And you just leave your change of clothes on the floor like that?

The kitchen is full of leftovers—hmm, no sign of consumption. Just practicing cooking skills?’

Shinji looked around; there wasn’t much to see. The room was less than 40 square meters, everywhere dilapidated. He couldn’t help but take a deep breath.

”Come help.”

”Huh?”

”Good internal order is a reflection of discipline. I really can’t stand you people.” Shinji had a touch of OCD; he felt miserable just looking at this room. He issued an order directly:

”One hour. Clean this room from top to bottom. Rei, go find me a mop and a broom.”

”There’s no need. I really don’t mind.” Rei suddenly felt flustered.

’This isn’t right, is it? Is this what the Class Rep meant when she said a boy will definitely do strange things when he goes to a girl’s house?’

But seeing the look in Shinji’s eyes, she quickly nodded and went to do it.

Whenever she felt flustered, Shinji always gave her the clearest commands. It was best to just execute them.

As the sky gradually darkened, Shinji grew busy. Mid-way through, Misato Katsuragi called, saying she was starving and telling him to hurry back and cook, but the moment she heard Shinji was at Ayanami Rei’s place, she immediately changed her tune.

”Oh my, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t come back today.”

Shinji couldn’t be bothered with that gossiping woman.

He buried himself in cleaning with focused intensity. After gathering the trash, he mopped the floor; after mopping, he changed lightbulbs. Next, he scrubbed the grime and bloodstains off the walls until they were spotless, even taking down the haphazardly hanging intimate garments and folding them neatly one by one.

Ayanami Rei had no idea how to clean, so she naturally couldn’t help much. She either ran errands to the nearest shop to buy detergent or stood at the door in a daze. When she saw Shinji taking down her undergarments and folding them one by one, her face flushed slightly; she finally realized that such things shouldn’t be handled by a boy.

But before she could step in herself, all the clothes had already been stuffed back into the cabinet.

”Done.”

Exactly one hour later, Shinji wiped the sweat from his brow. Looking at the fruits of his labor, he nodded with satisfaction.

An Astartes pursued efficiency even in cleaning. The room was still old and dilapidated, but all the trash had been cleared, the floor was clean enough to reflect light, and the windows were wide open, allowing the night breeze to dispel that strange odor.

Rei blinked, finding it hard to believe this was her room. her nose twitched slightly; she could smell the scent of plants from outside.

”I think I understand your words a little better. A tidy room truly has a better quality of life.”

”Quality of life” was exactly what she had been searching for lately—it was the same with interacting with people, reading books, and now, resting in a clean, organized room.

”Thank you. I have learned something new again.”

”If you’ve learned it, work hard to maintain it.” Shinji waved his hand dismissively. Looking around and seeing that the room didn’t even have a stool, he sat directly on the bed, adopting his usual serious and pious tone:

”Dilapidation doesn’t matter, but it must be tidy. Because rot breeds disease, and disease invites the gaze of Nurgle...”

He paused slightly as he spoke, looked at the confused girl, and cracked a rare joke: ”You’re quite something. Slaanesh, Tzeentch, and now Nurgle. Are you planning to become the Chosen of the Four Chaos Gods?”

In 40K, a joke like this would be enough to send one to the Inquisition, and in this world, no one could even get the punchline. Shinji suddenly felt it was a bit dull.

”I see a lot of leftover cut ingredients in the kitchen, but no one’s eaten them. Are you purely researching culinary arts?”

”Yes. I want to make a bento.” Rei lowered her head quietly, touching the band-aids on her fingertips. ”The Class Rep said that the best way to express gratitude is to make a bento for someone. You have helped me a lot, so I want to make one.”

Raising an eyebrow slightly, Shinji didn’t overthink it, only saying casually: ”I’m not picky about food. There’s no need for such trouble, just make anything...”

”No. I must do it until I am satisfied.” Rei’s refusal was rare, and her determination was unprecedented.

Shinji opened his mouth but didn’t persist. Rei was looking for a sense of existence; he wouldn’t oppose that. He stood up.

”Alright, it’s getting late. I need to go back and deal with another mess.”

’Ah? Why is this different from what the Class Rep said?’

Rei was stunned again. She felt that there was something ”off” about Shinji coming to her residence late at night just to clean.

She instinctively reached out and grabbed the shirt of the youth as he moved past her.

”Something else?” Shinji turned back, his expression a bit strange. He was finding Rei harder and harder to read lately.

”Uh...”

The girl didn’t know what to say, nor did she know why she had grabbed him. She stood there for a long while.

”What did you mean just now about Nurgle? What is a ’Chosen of the Four Gods’?”

Shinji’s eyes lit up. If Rei was asking about this, he wasn’t sleepy anymore.

”You’re interested?”

”Yes. I often see you telling stories to Kensuke Aida. Why don’t you tell me?” Rei nodded. She actually had no interest in stories she couldn’t understand, but seeing that Shinji didn’t leave, she felt she had done the right thing.

”Because I’m not a Chapter Chaplain. If people don’t ask, I’m too lazy to speak, lest I see sacrilegious eyes and feel the urge to purify them with a bolt shell.” Shinji immediately regained his energy. He sat back down on the bed and patted the space beside him.

”Sit here. Since you’re interested, I’ll tell you all about it.”

Rei looked at the glowing youth and nodded softly. She sat beside him, reflexively hugging her ”Moon Cat” doll. Then, with her crimson eyes wide open, she listened to him tell the story of the ”shambling trash can.”

But she was different from Kensuke Aida. She didn’t focus on the story itself, but rather watched the piety and nostalgia on Shinji’s face, feeling a sense of familiarity emerge.

Yes—it was the flavor of loneliness.

-

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Whirr—

A giant tilt-rotor aircraft landed on the helipad outside NERV Headquarters. A slightly exhausted Gendo Ikari walked down the airbridge and immediately saw Kozo Fuyutsuki waiting by the pad.

Having not seen each other for nearly two months, the two nodded at each other as a greeting. Subsequently, Gendo entered the corridor, with Fuyutsuki following behind as usual.

Passing NERV members saluted one after another. Gendo didn’t bother to return the salutes, listening to the Vice Commander’s report while briefing him on the Arctic branch.

”It seems the higher-ups trust us less and less. Not only have they sent agents to infiltrate, but they are also building Units 05 and 06 as a counterweight.”

”It’s obvious. If they find a problem, they will replace us. Even if they lose Unit-01 and Unit-00, they have the power to continue the script.” Gendo said calmly, showing no fear.

”None of those old men will trust anyone. One backup plan followed by another backup plan—isn’t that exactly their style?”

Fuyutsuki smiled silently. No one would dare be careless with a plan that decided the fate of humanity, but he felt a bit pensive: ”And your plan ran into trouble right at the start. I also didn’t expect this one problem to cause a chain reaction of consequences.”

The corner of Gendo’s mouth twitched. He was truly experiencing the meaning of ”a small leak will sink a great ship.” A single anomaly like Shinji Ikari had thrown him into a passive position.

But he wasn’t angry. If a problem appeared, one simply solved it.

”Those people haven’t touched the core secrets, have they?”

”Of course not. Those decoy targets are enough to keep them busy. Additionally, Shinji-kun has drawn quite a bit of the heat.”

Hearing that the core secrets weren’t exposed, Gendo felt a bit more at ease, but hearing Shinji’s name gave him another headache.

That brat had caused him so much trouble, yet his combat power was peerless. It was truly like seeing a ghost.

”You say... that kid couldn’t have been swapped out, could he?”

”Unit-01 didn’t reject him, so probably not. No matter how sophisticated the disguise or how flawless the plan, one cannot hide the difference at the level of the soul,” Fuyutsuki said with certainty.

That was true.

Gendo hadn’t actually doubted Shinji’s identity; he just couldn’t understand, no matter what, what kind of experience would turn a coward who only knew how to run away into a warrior with a heart of steel.

Ritsuko Akagi said it was some kind of self-suggestion, but wasn’t that just nonsense?

”That kid is far more important to me than he is to SEELE. I must find a way to control him.” Gendo walked into his massive office and suddenly asked: ”And what about Rei? Why didn’t she come to greet me? I have many things to ask her.”

Hearing this, Fuyutsuki suddenly looked a bit awkward. If one looked closely, there was also a hint of amusement hidden in that awkwardness.

”She is resting at home. Her changes lately have been... significant.”

Gendo’s headache intensified. Initially, when he sent Rei to contact Shinji, he had orchestrated an entire conspiracy to gain complete control through multiple channels, never expecting it to spin out of control later.

”True, it’s nearly midnight.” He was still quite patient with Rei, and added: ”Then have Rei come see me tomorrow. Too much change is not a good thing.”

The subsequent plan was already arranged. It was a good thing if Rei and Shinji were close; she could act as a mediator to mend the father-son relationship. Surely, that was Rei’s wish as well.

”Fine. However, according to the Intelligence Department’s report, Rei is not alone right now.”

”Oh? With whom?”

”Shinji-kun. He entered Rei’s room at 19:01, and he hasn’t come out yet.”

As Fuyutsuki’s words fell, he saw that deep, gloomy man freeze in place.

’The sugar-coated shell and the cannonball... the brat just swallowed the sugar whole!?’

Mm, a strange ceiling.

Sunlight filtered through the gaps in the black curtains. Shinji slowly opened his eyes. Since returning and regaining the ability to sleep, he had come to grow fond of this sensation.

If there were no battles, he would go to bed at twelve sharp and enjoy a beautiful eight hours of rest.

’Unfortunately, I still don’t dream.’

His dark eyes blinked a few times. He soon felt a slight numbness in his left arm. Turning his head, he saw a girl in a school uniform leaning against his hand.

With her ice-blue hair in disarray and her modest chest rising and falling slightly, Ayanami Rei slept quietly and orderly—unlike Misato Katsuragi—looking like an exquisite doll.

Lying on her side in the crook of his arm, her pale legs were slightly overlapped. Her breathing was even, and her hands firmly held her plush toy. Her hitched skirt revealed her plain, patternless white panties.

Lacking the typical awkwardness of a teenage boy, Shinji was perfectly composed. He pulled the girl’s skirt down for her and quietly reflected on the previous night.

When mentioning the Emperor and 40K, his energy was boundless. He had keenly realized that telling these stories to Ayanami Rei was entirely different from telling them to Kensuke Aida and the others; there were many things he could say without reservation.

His experiences in 40K weren’t exactly secrets, and he wasn’t afraid of being labeled a ”reincarnator.” It was simply that this glory could not be desecrated. If, while he was describing the Emperor’s great sacrifice, someone piped up with, ”The Golden Throne? Isn’t that just a glorified toilet?”, he feared he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from getting up and killing them.

’Perhaps Ayanami is the perfect listener.’

He found a justification for this difference. Rei was indeed an excellent listener; she remained silent from beginning to end, maintaining a state of total focus.

’But if she isn’t that interested, why did she use it as an excuse to keep me here?’

He scrutinized the girl’s face, looking at her snow-white skin and her eyelashes trembling slightly in the morning light. The sharp intuition of a psyker had already provided him with the answer.

’I’m understanding her less and less.’

Shinji turned back and stared at the ceiling. His bewilderment didn’t last long, for an Astartes does not dwell in confusion.

If one encounters something incomprehensible, simply chant ”By the Emperor” ten times.

He didn’t realize that if the story of him spending a night alone with a girl just to talk about the Emperor’s Great Works reached anyone else’s ears, they would surely say:

’You really are... unspeakably loyal!!’

”You’re awake?”

A moment later, as he turned his head again, he saw those ruby-like eyes staring at him without blinking.

”Yes.” Rei nodded softly, seemingly finding nothing wrong with sleeping on a man’s arm.

The morning was tranquil, save for the cicadas outside and the rhythmic thumping of construction cranes. They stared at each other for a while until Shinji finally spoke.

”You’ve made my arm go numb.”

”Should I apologize?”

”That won’t be necessary.” Shinji smiled, suddenly noticing the difference between her and Kensuke.

Being with Ayanami Rei always left him feeling peaceful and content.

”It’s 7:15. We need to be out the door in 15 minutes. How about this: I’ll make breakfast, and you go take a shower.”

”Why don’t you want my help?”

Shinji’s nose twitched, and he said bluntly, ”Your room has no air conditioning. You sweated quite a bit; it smells.”

Rei sniffed herself in confusion. In the morning light, her pale face instinctively flushed a faint red, and she jumped up immediately.

Shinji’s smile became more pronounced. Watching the girl take fresh underwear from the cabinet and bolt into the bathroom, he sat up himself, walked quickly into the kitchen, and began selecting ingredients from the fridge.

This was also his influence; originally, this room shouldn’t have contained anything edible except medicine and plain water.

He lit the stove, placed a frying pan on it, and poured in some cooking oil. The cracked eggs sizzled on the surface, intertwining with the sound of the shower. In this quiet morning, they played a calming symphony.

Cooking smoke filled the once oppressive and cold room. The aroma of food diluted the smell of blood. Suddenly, it felt as if the entire room had become vivid.

”I have to go to Headquarters for simulation training today. Miss Ibuki must have been quite angry after waiting all night yesterday.”

Hearing the sound of the curtain being pulled back, Shinji tossed two strips of bacon into the pan—bought during his last trip to the shopping district.

”Should I apologize?” Rei walked out directly, wrapped in a bath towel. As water droplets hit the floor, she paused and quickly grabbed some paper to wipe them up.

”I’ll do it; it’s my responsibility after all.” Shinji didn’t shy away. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of her pale back as she slowly put on identical pure-white panties.

The plain underwear slid up her straight thighs, covering her firm buttocks. Then, she picked up her bra and reached back to fasten it.

Snap.

The elastic strap gave a light flick against her white skin, causing a slight ripple. Rei nodded softly as usual.

”Yes. I’ll leave it to you.”

Shinji picked up the plates and brought the bacon and eggs into the room. Seeing Rei tidying her school uniform, he looked around.

”You don’t even have a table. Are you going to eat while holding the plate?”

”I’ll eat by the cabinet.” Rei walked over, cleared the medicine and water glass from the nightstand into a drawer, then paused for a moment. She picked up the cracked pair of glasses and tucked them in as well.

The two stood by the cabinet to eat, chatting casually. Just as they finished, the phone rang.

”Good morning, Miss Misato.” Shinji picked up the phone and pointed toward the kitchen. It took Rei a moment to realize he was telling her to wash the dishes, so she began tidying up clumsily.

”Yo, Shinji! Staying out all night, how impressive. Have you become an adult yet?” A suggestive voice came through the receiver. Misato Katsuragi, suffering her daily hangover, had seen the empty room that morning and immediately broke into an ”auntie-like” grin.

”I did nothing of the sort. Please do not underestimate the strategic fortitude of an Astartes.”

”I get it, I get it. You’re a boy, it’s normal to be shy.”

’You don’t get a damn thing.’

Shinji narrowed his eyes and said coldly, ”So you called me first thing in the morning just to lecture me?”

”Who would dare lecture the invincible Shinji-sama? It’s just some advice from an adult. Don’t get too addicted, and make sure to use protection. You’re only fourteen...”

Misato began a long-winded speech, making the phone emit overtaxed crackling sounds.

”I don’t need you to remind me of such things. I know more about this than you do.” Shinji’s voice grew colder.

”How is that possible? I’m a 28-year-old mature lady.” Misato was instantly indignant. It was one thing for him to be a combat genius, but was he a prodigy in this as well?

”Have you had breakfast?”

”I have, so what?”

”Then I won’t say it. I’m afraid you’ll vomit it back up.” Shinji huffed, then added, ”Of course, if you’re unconvinced, I wouldn’t mind opening your eyes.”

To think someone dared to teach him such knowledge. Did she know how sacrilegious the dark rituals of Slaaneshi cultists were? In their pursuit of ultimate pleasure under the gaze of the Prince of Excess, they were ten thousand times more terrifying than every ”kink” circle on Earth combined.

Dripping wax? Whipping? Orgies? No hole left untouched? Sorry, that level doesn’t even count as an appetizer. Any one of their ”games” could shatter the limits of human imagination.

Gulp.

Misato swallowed. Shinji hadn’t said anything specific, but her instincts told her not to continue this topic, lest she be left with psychological trauma.

”Ahem, business first, business first.” Her tone immediately turned serious. She said gravely, ”Commander Ikari returned last night.”

”Oh. And?” Shinji was indifferent.

”You haven’t seen each other in months. Aren’t you worried?”

”That man is arguably a strong individual; why should I worry? As for emotions, I have none for him.”

’What a cold-hearted guy. Though Commander Ikari is indeed a freak.’

Misato couldn’t interfere too much in the affairs of father and son, so she said quickly, ”It’s like this: Commander Ikari called this morning. He wants to see you.”

”Fine. Time and place.”

Rei walked out of the kitchen, her chest damp from the splashing water. She saw Shinji standing by the bed, eyes half-lidded, seemingly lost in thought.

She approached quietly and whispered, ”What’s wrong?”

”Gendo Ikari wants to see me. A private meeting, unrelated to official business.” Shinji said casually. This would be the first time the two had met privately in years—no, over a hundred years.

The girl’s face brightened slightly, as if she harbored a beautiful hope, but it quickly dimmed.

”You don’t want to see him?”

”Hmm. I have nothing to talk to him about. As long as Gendo Ikari performs his duties as Commander and doesn’t hinder me, it’s fine. Injecting too much personal emotion would interfere with my judgment.”

”But you didn’t refuse.”

”Mainly because the location he chose for the meeting is very interesting. This Gendo Ikari really likes playing mind games.” Shinji let out a mocking smile. Gendo had actually asked to meet him at his mother’s grave.

Did he think I needed a tether? Did he want to emphasize that blood ties cannot be changed? How naive. A truly loyal Astartes will kill his Chapter Master if he turns traitor, and will fire upon his Primarch if he falls. Besides, the parentage of the Blood Ravens is still undecided.

As for ”Mother,” he couldn’t remember her at all.

”I’ll go see him. I have to talk to him eventually.”

”Because of Mother?” Rei’s eyes flickered with a bit of light.

”No. Because I never retreat. No matter how troublesome the matter, I will carve a path of blood through it.” Shinji straightened his clothes, radiating a cold-blooded aura, then turned back:

”Rei, do you want to come along?”

The girl froze for a long time. It was a difficult choice, but she had become accustomed to using her intuition when she didn’t know what to do.

”Yes.”

Whirr—

The engine roared as the deep blue sports car sped along the winding mountain road. Misato Katsuragi rested her chin on her hand, her eyes glancing repeatedly at the rearview mirror, until she finally couldn’t hold it in anymore.

”Hey, Shinji, why did you have to bring me along to meet your father?”

”He gave you the notice, so naturally, you are the one to deliver it.” Shinji acted as if it were a matter of course, watching the scenery outside. ”Besides, since the Angels aren’t attacking, you’re just a payroll thief—doing nothing all day long except mopping up free meals at the cafeteria.”

”Nonsense! I’m very busy, thank you very much!” Misato widened her eyes, though her bravado quickly fizzled out. ”Fine, fine, I’ve been a bit idle lately. After all, not a single one of the tasks Shinji-sama entrusted to me has been completed. But that’s not my fault!”

Shinji had proposed quite a few plans for her to execute, such as the development of five new weapon systems, the modification of the defense cannon batteries, and solving the energy supply issues.

But all of that was beyond her authority. For instance, replacing the cable system with the reactor from the JA project—that JA thing was a United Nations project; how was she supposed to interfere with that?

”Even new weapons require a budget. Hey, you should be asking Commander Ikari about these things; why are you making it hard for me?” Misato suddenly realized a blind spot.

’That’s right! I’m just a lowly Major, a mid-level NERV official. This shouldn’t be my responsibility.’

”Because Gendo Ikari is dangerous. I am not confident I can control him.”

’Dangerous? Control? Just how bizarre is your father-son relationship?’

Misato didn’t even know how to retort. Is this kid addicted to playing the ”subordinate-usurping-the-master” game? She glanced at the rearview mirror again, where the girl with short ice-blue hair was silently reading a book.

”So, what’s up with Rei? Why did you bring her?”

Rei had come along too. Logically speaking, a father and son visiting a grave had nothing to do with her.

Shinji glanced at the quiet girl and said flatly, ”I want her to witness reality and abandon certain meaningless, naive ideas.”

The sports car exited the tunnel, and in the distance, a vast expanse of barren hills came into view, covered densely with tombstones that seemed to stretch on forever.

”A collective cemetery. The final resting place for those who died in the Second Impact and afterwards. Every time I see it, I find it overwhelming.” Misato’s mood grew heavy. She lost her usual playfulness, touched by the sight of the graveyard.

”Shinji-kun, how do you view ’fatherhood’?”

She threw out a question she had been hiding in her heart for a long time. The girl in the back seat stopped reading and perked up her ears.

”You mean view it from an emotional perspective?” Shinji mused for a moment, looking at the massive field of tombstones. His mood was steady, not depressed.

He had witnessed too much sacrifice—he had even seen an entire planet perish under an Exterminatus order. Death had long since ceased to cause ripples in his heart, and as for Misato’s question, he hadn’t even given it a thought.

It had been too long—truly, far too long. He had been abandoned by Gendo Ikari, and that sense of hatred and yearning had long since been buried in his long career of service.

”I haven’t thought about this question. Miss Misato, how do you view it?”

”Me?” Misato looked at the cross on her chest and gave a bitter smile. ”At first, it was pure hatred. As I understood more, I began to gradually understand him.”

”Understand what?”

”Uh, that for the sake of certain things, one must discard others. That is the price.”

Shinji turned his head and saw Misato’s somewhat wooden expression. There were many stories hidden within that. He had long understood that this woman appeared unreliable, but that was actually a form of psychological defense.

”You want to forget certain things?”

”Yes.” Misato stared at the winding road ahead, quietly gripping the cross on her chest. ”But it’s difficult.”

”Apologies, I asked something I shouldn’t have.” Shinji lowered his eyes, basically understanding Misato’s complex emotions and why she had said those things.

She must have had a similar past—her father had abandoned her for some reason, causing severe psychological trauma. Later, she discovered her father’s work was important, and she entered a period of conflict.

If the price of saving the world was paternal love, was it worth it?

Misato probably didn’t have an answer yet, but she hoped not to walk the same path and was trying to understand Gendo Ikari.

Individuals vs. the collective—these questions could rise to a philosophical level, but for Shinji, they wouldn’t cause any distress, because the answer was simple:

’It is worth it.’

An Astartes, for the sake of their oaths, would not hesitate to give their lives; they were born with the most intense sense of duty.

His body had changed, but his memories hadn’t been annihilated. His vows were deep-rooted. Gendo Ikari was obsessed with a certain goal, and so was he.

”Let me answer your question. I bear no hatred toward Gendo Ikari, nor does any reconciliation exist. Do you really think I am throwing a child’s tantrum because of some past trauma?” Shinji rested his head on his hand, looking coldly at the road ahead:

”Don’t make me laugh. It’s not that I lack emotions, but he views me as a tool, so I will view him as a tool. Everyone treats each other with the utmost rationality—that is fair.”

Misato’s mouth opened, but she couldn’t say a word. This was the exact opposite of a child throwing a tantrum; it was overly mature.

’Seeing through someone and being able to treat them with absolute rationality? Truly a father and son, though Shinji is better—at least he treats his classmates quite well, without the oppressive feeling Commander Ikari exudes.’

As a guardian, Misato had witnessed Shinji’s changes; he didn’t reject emotion, but emotion wasn’t a necessity.

”Sigh, just as Ritsuko said, I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth. Instead of helping, I’ve just made myself depressed.” Misato grumbled, having ripped open the scars at the bottom of her heart. She instinctively glanced in the rearview mirror; the girl with short ice-blue hair was still reading quietly.

The car soon reached the cemetery. Shinji and Rei walked side by side. Before long, they saw a man standing silently in front of a tombstone.

He wore his NERV uniform, looking like another tombstone himself. Shinji gave him a glance, had Rei wait in the distance, and walked over alone.

Without speaking to Gendo, he crouched down, offered the white flowers he held, and stared in a daze at the numbers on the tombstone: 1977-2004.

”Yui Ikari?”

Shinji had no real sense of his mother. Perhaps he could vaguely remember some small details before, but after rolling through the hell of his service, even those memories had become blurred.

He could only vaguely remember that Yui Ikari—his mother—had loved him very much.

That one hundred-plus years of service had cut his life into two distinct parts. His worldview had undergone a cataclysmic change, and without a doubt, he had been reborn.

”The last time we came here was three years ago.” Gendo spoke first, a rare occurrence. His tone was as stiff as ever, yet the coldness of his usual ”do it or get out” attitude was absent.

’Using my mother as a tether to emphasize his status as my father?’

Shinji wouldn’t be moved to tears by his father’s words. He shook his head. ”I have no real connection to my mother resting here; she has almost lost all trace in my memory.”

”Humans must rely on forgetting certain things to survive, but there are some things that absolutely must not be forgotten. Yui made me realize certain irreplaceable things.” Gendo’s voice was low, his gaze obsessive. This feeling was very familiar to Shinji.

He had seen too many humans resort to desperate measures to resurrect lovers or relatives, including, but not limited to, begging for the help of the Mechanicus, researching forbidden technologies, or even turning to Chaos Daemons. In 40K, intense human emotions were the finest food for the Warp.

”You didn’t even leave behind a photograph?” Shinji asked without looking back.

”There was no need. In fact, there is no body in this grave. I have hidden everything in my heart.” Gendo’s face darkened, his glasses reflecting the sunlight. ”Only by discarding everything can one continue to move forward.”

’Well then, a familiar scent. If this were someone from the Inquisition, the verdict would already be set.’

He pursed his lips and asked again, ”Did you love her?”

”Without a doubt. Yui transcended everything for me.” Gendo nodded; this required no concealment.

”But you failed to protect her.”

The following sentence made Gendo clench his fist. This brat was truly infuriating; every word was a knife thrust into his heart.

”Are you questioning me?”

”Is that not allowed? You are the one who called me here to sweep the grave in the capacity of a father.” Shinji turned back, staring directly into the man’s eyes. The oppressive aura that made everyone in NERV tremble seemed non-existent to him.

”Since you insist on that status, is it not reasonable for me to demand an account of my mother? Did you not prepare yourself for this before talking big?”

He almost wanted to laugh. Perhaps a fourteen-year-old wouldn’t understand, but as an Astartes of over a hundred years, Shinji understood it all too well.

’You call me to my mother’s grave and dare to talk big? Is this how Yui Ikari let you take care of me? It’s as if you two were in true love and I was just an accidental byproduct. Thankfully there’s no body in there, or don’t you think Yui would crawl out and settle the score with you?’

”Perhaps you are doing something of great importance, but saving the world and caring for loved ones are not contradictory. I have seen many people ten thousand times more powerful than you, and they were not cold or heartless.”

Even with gene-surgery, even if one could give everything for an oath, Astartes still had emotions; they wouldn’t blink an eye at sacrificing themselves to cover for their battle-brothers.

”Only through sacrifice does one reap rewards. Since you abandoned your obligations, do not covet too much.”

Gendo had no answer to this. What was even more terrifying was that the youth before him didn’t have a shred of resentment; his gaze was as cold as an outsider’s. If there were resentment, it would mean the father-son relationship still existed, but this expression meant it was beyond repair.

”You do not resent me?”

”Commander Ikari, you were the one who said earlier that humans rely on forgetting things to survive. You have yet to fall into the category of ’irreplaceable’.”

”Could it be that the one who is ’irreplaceable’ is that... ’Emperor’?”

”Without a doubt.” Shinji nodded firmly, then pointed to Rei in the distance. ”Of course, you aren’t worthy of being compared to the holy Emperor. Let me use an example you can understand, Gendo Ikari: you aren’t even as good as her.”

Gendo looked over in silence. Seeing that familiar face, the corner of his mouth twitched involuntarily. He wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

Shinji’s attitude was simple: You don’t care about me, and I don’t care about you. There was no father-son affection, just sheer firmness.

The summer wind was dry and hot. Only the caw of a crow remained in the cemetery. A powerful gust of air lifted, and a tilt-rotor aircraft began to land.

Gendo Ikari was just as firm. He offered no explanation and asked for no forgiveness. He simply turned around and said in a commanding tone:

”Very well. Since you do not care, neither do I. Rei, let us return.”

He walked toward the aircraft. After a few steps, he stopped and turned back, skipping over the expressionless Shinji to lock his gaze directly on Rei.

An unusual conflict appeared on the girl’s face. She clutched her book to her chest but stayed rooted to the spot.

”Rei, did you not hear me?”

Gendo shouted again, but Rei still didn’t move. His gaze instantly changed, becoming as sharp as a knife as it landed on the youth.

An inexplicable rage replaced his indifference. He wanted to rush over and deliver a blow of ”paternal correction,” but his instincts told him that doing so would be extremely dangerous.

Hoo.

He took a deep breath to suppress his anger and finally left. Against the backdrop of the grave-filled field, he appeared truly lonely.

How many years had it been? He finally understood a certain feeling.

The feeling of complete and utter defeat!

Although he had anticipated it, only after actual contact did Gendo Ikari realize that Shinji had become unrecognizable.

This wasn’t some mere ”psychological suggestion”; it was as if the boy had been replaced entirely. He was nothing like the timid, cowardly, and withdrawn child in Gendo’s memory.

”Why did Unit-01 accept him? It would be easier to handle if he weren’t the real Shinji Ikari.”

Amidst the roar of the engines, Gendo massaged his aching temples. In truth, the ”who” didn’t matter, and he didn’t care about his son’s mental health.

Whether he was strong or weak, cheerful or withdrawn—none of it held any meaning. Gendo only cared if Shinji Ikari could play his role in the plan and be a valuable tool.

”But his sense of self is too strong. He even makes me feel... threatened.”

This was the source of Gendo’s distress. Raw power meant nothing; the world was full of brave warriors controlled by those above them. But this kid was too opinionated, his will too ironclad. Today’s meeting had made the outcome clear:

Trying to manipulate the boy was impossible.

”Not just him—even Rei has been influenced. She’s slipping from my control.”

At this thought, Gendo’s breathing quickened. This was even harder to accept. Not only was the boy a headache, but he was poaching his assets—and he was as hard as steel, leaving no opening to exploit.

’I am the chess player!’

He suppressed his anger. Suddenly, he found himself agreeing with SEELE: tools do not need too much self-awareness. The difficulty lay in the fact that he currently had no leverage over the boy.

In SEELE’s plan, Unit-01 and the Third Children were not strictly mandatory. But in Gendo Ikari’s plan, Unit-01 and Shinji Ikari were the cornerstones. They could not be abandoned.

Beep, beep, beep.

Gendo checked his emotions and took the communicator from the wall. Fuyutsuki’s voice came through.

”The meeting with Shinji-kun didn’t go well?”

Gendo’s eye twitched; he really didn’t want to hear that name. He said coldly, ”I’m on my way back to Headquarters. Get to the point.”

”Oh. The rats are about to move. They’re targeting Shinji-kun. How should we proceed?”

NERV had been built over ten years; it wasn’t easily infiltrated. The agents SEELE sent had been under surveillance from the start. As soon as they received their orders, Fuyutsuki knew.

This wasn’t surprising. Gendo had long known of SEELE’s curiosity. After all, those old men didn’t know the secrets of Unit-01 and couldn’t judge Shinji’s situation from a soulful level.

Logically, a fourteen-year-old boy shouldn’t be that terrifying. They suspected Gendo was using some special training method to give his son an edge. This matter could be significant or trivial.

One only had to look at how much effort the European Branch spent cultivating the Second Children to realize the gap; any expert looking at combat records could see that Asuka and Shinji were not on the same level.

An EVA is not an autonomous weapon; it requires a pilot. The pilot’s mindset is vital, and Shinji Ikari was a blade that was far too sharp and mysterious.

Gendo pondered for a long time before making a decision. ”Let them do as they please. I am also curious how he obtains power without relying on Unit-01.”

”But Shinji-kun is vital to you. He is irreplaceable.” Fuyutsuki didn’t quite understand and reminded him: ”And don’t forget, he is Yui’s son. You can’t do this.”

”Since he doesn’t care, neither will I. Don’t worry, SEELE still needs him to fight the Angels; there won’t be any real danger.” Gendo, naturally, would not act based on mere emotion. He didn’t care why Shinji had changed.

”But...”

”He is too arrogant. It seems piloting Unit-01 has given him excessive confidence. If he spirals out of control, how can our future plans proceed? I need a chess piece that works honestly. This world has no room for another player.”

Gendo spoke coldly, leaving Fuyutsuki with no retort. They had prepared for too many years to change for one youth. in this game of human destiny, there could only be one player.

”Use this opportunity to make him understand one thing: no matter how powerful he is inside Unit-01, a brat still needs protection from adults.”

.

.

.

On the drive back, Misato Katsuragi kept observing the interior of the car, growing more confused by the second.

The boy in the passenger seat looked exactly the same as when they arrived—as if nothing had happened. In the back, Rei appeared to be miles away, even more vacant than usual.

’Ugh, how did the talk actually go?’

Commander Ikari had actually lowered his stance; it was a great chance for reconciliation. Just as she was about to ask, Rei spoke.

”Ikari-kun, did I do the right thing?” The girl was full of bewilderment, realizing the pain of a choice isn’t felt in the moment, but in the aftermath.

”Did you know he was using you?” Shinji didn’t look back. He had heard from Misato about the Unit-00 activation test failure. Perhaps there was some emotion involved, but it was undoubtedly a calculation of utility.

”I know. But a bond is a bond. I don’t blame Commander Ikari.”

”Then why did you choose me?”

Rei opened her mouth silently. She couldn’t answer. Perhaps it was the time spent together lately, perhaps an absolute sense of security, or perhaps simple intuition.

”You see? Many things don’t have definitive answers. Since you followed your intuition to make a choice, do not second-guess yourself.”

Shinji knew exactly when to be deliberate and when to be simple-minded. As a Librarian, one must consider every facet when planning a battle. But when facing unknown knowledge or the questioning of the self, one must remain simple. Reversing that order leads to a very miserable death.

”I understand.” The gloom on Rei’s face vanished. To her, Shinji was more like a life mentor who had taught her much.

”So, did you do the right thing?”

The counter-question carried a hint of lingering hope. Rei was the one who most wanted the father and son to reconcile, yet she had witnessed a clash.

Shinji mused for a moment and answered firmly: ”Not necessarily right, but very fair.”

’What are these two talking about?!’

Misato felt like she was in prison.

’Can’t you two speak plainly? You’re making me, the adult, look very stupid.’

However, she gathered that the meeting wasn’t harmonious. She couldn’t help but say, ”You didn’t get into a fight with Commander Ikari in front of your mother’s grave, did you?”

”Do you think he and I are the type of people to act on impulse and scream?” Shinji’s counter-question silenced Misato. He opened the window and looked at the distant city. ”We both have oaths that must be fulfilled. Everything and everyone comes after the oath. Don’t worry, Commander Ikari won’t make life hard for you.”

Gendo Ikari was an extremely rational man. Putting aside hidden secrets, as long as the Angels remained, NERV needed Shinji’s power. It had nothing to do with family, only value.

”Without me, the Angels would have breached NERV twice and destroyed humanity. Whether it’s him or anyone else, if they want to deal with me, they at least have to find a replacement first.”

It sounded arrogant, but Misato felt instantly relieved. Right—business is business. No matter how bad the family drama, it shouldn’t affect work. Why was she worrying so much?

Her mood improved instantly. She drove into the city and checked the time.

”It’s already 2:00 PM. You two don’t need to go to school, right?”

”And you get to skip work by extension?”

Misato’s face reddened as she gave a light cough. ”I’m no payroll thief. Since you’re both here, why don’t we hit the supermarket? We can have hotpot tonight. Rei, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Rei was stunned to see this woman using her as a shield, then nodded in agreement. Her life had been quite decadent lately; she had even filled out a little.

”You two go. Buy her some clothes while you’re at it. Rei wants to find the ’quality of life,’ and this is one way to do it.” Shinji shook his head.

”That’s right! Rei doesn’t have a single set of casual clothes. She’s in that ugly uniform all day. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she looks beautiful!” Misato was full of energy, then asked in confusion: ”But what are you going to do? Surely you aren’t so obsessed that you’re going to HQ to work overtime alone.”

She gave him a wary look. Shinji was great in every way, except he was a workaholic—so much so that it made her own conscience ache.

Shinji didn’t bother to answer. He just signaled her to pull over and glanced at the small head peeking out from the back window.

Rei wasn’t as easily fooled as Misato; her eyes held a trace of tension. Shinji gave a small hand gesture to reassure her. Then, the engine roared, and the sports car vanished into the distance.

’That woman is always full of energy for meaningless things.’

Shinji felt helpless, but then his expression turned solemn. He had only told half the truth earlier.

Separating business and personal? Was it really that simple?

Gendo Ikari, a man who would ”lower his stance” to bridge a gap? If he did that, he certainly had an ulterior motive. And Rei—why did he want her to approach him?

Fine, even if those could be explained as ”veiled paternal love,” one question had bothered Shinji for a long time:

’Why did the Third Angel arrive the moment I did?’

That was the most inexplicable thing. Anyone with a normal IQ would prepare for battle as early as possible. Since I was the pre-selected pilot for Unit-01, why ignore me for years and only bring me to Tokyo-3 at the very moment of an Angel attack?

It was illogical. NERV wasn’t some haphazardly run amateur show, and Gendo was a conspirator; he wouldn’t make such a rookie mistake. If I hadn’t ”studied” in 40K, I would have been slaughtered by the Angel.

Two months after the first battle, the mystery still plagued him. The more he knew, the more it troubled him. For example, back then Unit-00 was non-functional, Rei was severely injured, and NERV had no other trump cards.

With Gendo’s meticulous mind, could he guarantee I would obediently pilot Unit-01? Without Unit-01, how would he stop the Angel? If he couldn’t, would he let humanity perish because of his stupidity?

The oversight was too massive for a Commander of NERV. Today, Shinji finally found the answer.

”Unless he was absolutely certain of victory. Confident that a fourteen-year-old boy with zero training could board an EVA for the first time and defeat Sachiel.”

It sounded like a joke, but as a psyker, he had long sensed the anomaly.

”The machine spirit? And it must be strongly correlated to me. Otherwise, there was no need to bring me here; he could have just used Rei.”

The doubts connected, forming a complete logical chain. Once the answer was found, reverse-engineering today’s meeting was simple:

’I am vital to him.’

No wonder he had to hold his nose and try to ease the relationship. It was just that Gendo’s social skills were too low and his pride too high, so it didn’t look much like a reconciliation.

’No one in this world would be happy just because they got to say a few words to their father. Not me, at least.’

Shinji wore a mocking smile, walking aimlessly down the street. Now that he understood this, he could predict Gendo’s next move.

Since I am vital yet uncontrollable, the matter is far from over.

What Gendo intended was unknown, but observation suggested such a man would never let it go. He viewed people as tools and would use every means to keep those tools in his grasp.

If the soft way didn’t work, he would try force. Given my value, he won’t give up on me, but he can still ”teach me a lesson.”

When a child is slighted, their first choice is to go home and tell their parents.

In an instant, he thought of a dozen operational scenarios. A pale light flickered in his eyes as invisible energy spread outward. Seconds later, Shinji had his answer.

’Interesting. It seems my hypothesis was correct.’

On rooftops, in alleys, and from second-story windows, obscure gazes were directed his way. The youth showed no tension; instead, he was full of anticipation. He continued forward at the same pace, lightly flexing his fingers.

Endurance? Tension? Overthinking?

No. No matter what stands in the path of an Astartes, it will only end in one way under the roar of a chainsword—

Shattered.