Global Dungeon: I Can See the Status Bar

”The apocalypse won’t come for at least eight to ten months; why rush these few minutes?” Lu Wenwu casually seasoned the kidney, ”Instead of waiting idly during your fortune-telling, why not do something proactive?”

”But...”

”Stop babbling, are you going to eat or not!”

”...Just go easy on the chili.”

In the end, the old Daoist surrendered.

Even though Lu Wenwu hadn’t extensively studied foods other than egg pancakes, he had long immersed himself in the path of the Spirit Chef.

With years of influence, any regular dish he prepared in a world without professional Extraordinary Chefs would be a significant downgrade in culinary standards.

Thus, what should have been two furrowed brows deeply engaged in research in a dimly lit, dingy room, working tirelessly on useless maps and a wall of inexplicable photos and connections, arguing vehemently over clues, was twisted by a chef’s craving into what it was now.

”Hmm... That’s the way of it... Those two Demon Cultivators were completely influenced by the Divine Statue, sacrificing human souls to the ’Great Celestial Venerable’ behind the statue for treasures to enhance their cultivation.”

True Monarch of Destiny bit into a sizzling, oily kidney, chewing heartily, some lamb oil and cumin flavor staining his previously white beard.

”I suspect this statue might be an ’offline’ puppet for a Western God. The Power of Destiny is guiding us across the ocean...”

”Something feels amiss... Oh, is there any beer? The best would be Yanjing brewed by mortals, but if that’s impossible, Qingdao, Pure, or Snow can work too. Spirit Wine isn’t quite right for barbecue; it’s gotta be beer.”

”No, I don’t drink alcohol.”

Lu Wenwu glanced scornfully at the old Daoist, tossing over a tub of chilled soda.

”Drink this; it’s mortal-made, tastes and feels far better than that grain-wasting concoction.”

”I know this, it’s cola! They had it even when I hadn’t ascended, and sometimes believers offered me a bottle. Yet then, focused on Dao, I never indulged in things non-Daoist, never drank it.”

True Monarch of Destiny again took a bite of kidney, muttering as he tasted it.

”Hiss... Ah~”

”Tingles the tongue, a medicinal essence with some sweet and sour, hmm... Remarkably peculiar, a complex taste; I’ll try another sip.”

”Hiss... Ah~!”

”Hey, you know, this black bubble water is kinda intoxicating; not bad, I like it.”

Lu Wenwu glanced at the increasingly eccentric old man, silently adding more skewers to the grill, signaling Mao Mao to go to the farm to butcher a lamb.

The atmosphere had already built up; it would be hard to not finish with a whole roasted lamb tonight!

...

Eastern Immortal Realm, Celestial Emperor’s Immortal Palace.

Receiving a message from True Monarch of Destiny, the Celestial Emperor pinched above his nasal rim, fatigue showing on his furrowed face, unbefitting an Immortal.

Exhausted.

”Apocalyptic Disaster... Could it really be related to the Western Gods?”

”How could it be? Ancient Immortal Gods have long vanished. We, as cultivators, have ascended to Immortal Gods’ thrones not long ago. Even if they have some power from Ancient Immortal Gods, there’s no way they could annihilate our Eastern Immortal Realm.”

”Moreover, the Upper Realm is still emerging, with plenty of treasures left behind by Ancient Immortal Gods for us to enjoy. What motive do they have for launching an apocalyptic disaster? The conflict between our two clans should not reach the intensity of the Mythical Era...”

The Celestial Emperor muttered, picking up a Treasure Mirror, channeling Immortal Yuan throughout.

The mirror instantly displayed a hardy, majestic Immortal image.

Though the background was the unique misty aura of the Upper Realm, it clearly didn’t belong to Eastern Immortal Palace.

Instead, it was a giant Divine Hall made of massive ’stone stripes’, filled with statues of Divine Spirits, bare-chested and alluring, exuding a decadent aura.

”Saint Fire True Monarch, how are things over there?” the Celestial Emperor asked solemnly.

Saint Fire True Monarch’s face showed stiffness, even his fingers gripping the cup were tense.

”Reporting to the Celestial Emperor, we’ve just arrived in the Western Divine Realm, currently attending a banquet hosted by them. Such debauchery... It’s truly... Truly a disgrace for us Immortal Gods!”

The Celestial Emperor, of course, understood the Western Gods’ open behavior.

Compared to the reserved Eastern Immortals, the openness of Western Gods truly challenged their inherent ethical values.

”Cough... It’s tough on you all.” The Celestial Emperor empathized, ”Have the Western Gods shown any special emotions or...anything in response to your presence? Don’t mind superficial negotiation results; remember your mission.”

”Yes, we’ll do our utmost.” Saint Fire True Monarch nodded slightly, ”Western Gods are still the same, dove factions host us, while hawk factions remain antagonistic and hostile. Besides, the Divine King’s absence worries me...”

”Alright, understood. Be cautious.” The Celestial Emperor gave another reminder before cutting off communication with Saint Fire True Monarch.

In theory, Eastern Immortal Realm dispatched spies disguised as a mission to the Western Divine Realm, flying the flag of negotiation, cooperation, and joint development.

Aiming to dissolve long-standing hostility and conflicts between two factions since the Mythical Era, jointly researching Ancient Immortal Gods’ heritages, and exploring higher cultivation levels.

Such goodwill from Eastern Immortal Realm, involving the interests of various Upper Realm Immortals and Gods, with no reason for the Divine King not to even go through formalities.

At least he should’ve raised a glass, delivered a few pleasantries.

But now, not appearing at the banquet discomforts the Celestial Emperor.

Perhaps it’s a really bad sign.

Crucially, he didn’t know what cards the Western Divine Realm held, daring to attempt a second Twilight of the Gods.

Could it be... Some strong Ancient Immortal God heritage successfully activated?

No, this can’t continue; action is needed.

Thinking of this, the Celestial Emperor immediately rang the Ancient Immortal Bell within the Celestial Emperor’s Immortal Palace, summoning all Immortals for a meeting, forcibly waking even those in closed-door cultivation.

The meeting proceeded swiftly; the Celestial Emperor was not one to dawdle.

Besides, the Immortal Realm’s layout had recently formed, without certain stagnant problems and bulky operational systems from ancient sedimentation.

With the Celestial Emperor’s command, all Immortals acted together.

For a moment, the entire Eastern Immortal Realm portrayed a vigilant and murderous air.

Numerous Immortals with inheritance in the Lower Realm simultaneously issued orders, guiding disciples from Great Xia as a center, radiating in all directions to secretly search for Western Divine Realm’s hidden forces without alerting them.

Especially focusing on seeking Ancient Demon Cultivators, investigating a woman named ”Great Celestial Venerable,” uncovering the true facts.

Meanwhile, as Great Xia and numerous Immortal Sect disciples conducted a covert investigation, Lu Wenwu and True Monarch of Destiny boarded a plane heading to the Western Gods’ territory.

As for why not fly directly...

True Monarch of Destiny claimed it would alert them, preferring a mortal-style crossing before secretly searching.

Lu Wenwu had no issues with this.

And then...

Then the two couldn’t buy tickets due to lack of ID, deemed suspicious émigrés without employment and fixed assets by customs, eventually failing visa clearance...

This not-so-pleasant experience enraged True Monarch of Destiny, who angrily cursed the opponents during evening barbecue.

Phrases like ”ignorant barbarians”, ”Western devils”, ”borderland countries”, ”snobbish” emerged, amusing Lu Wenwu.

Eventually, their tickets and visas were arranged by Liaison Xiaogao.

After initial interactions, Lu Wenwu found beneath True Monarch of Destiny’s seasoned exterior, lay an intriguing, mischievous soul.

Tsk, what an amusing character.