My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Chapter 772: Chapter 773: Again

The idea of killing a true god was not supposed to be conceivable after all who could kill God.

That was not possible in the literal sense.

Damon could not help but remember something from a few years ago when he had been traveling with a caravan on the way to the capital with his sister.

It was during the last days of the demon wars.

The caravan had passed through the aftermath of a battle.

During that time an old man had screamed and laughed aloud.

Damon back then had thought the man was laughing and screaming because he was happy the demons had been killed and the caravan did not have to face them.

But he had been wrong. The man had been crying. He was laughing as tears fell down his face.

On that day the man was screaming.

“The gods are dead… the gods are dead.”

His long frail hands trembled in the air and Damon could only hug his sister tighter.

Maybe at that time Damon still had some faith and hopes for life but now after so many years he understood that old man.

Laughter was the sound of ultimate despair.

God was dead because if there was a God then why such suffering.

’The cruelty of this world cannot be changed. You live until you die.’

Perhaps that was why the Unknown god believed it was better to not have been born at all because you are born into suffering and into a world where the gods are dead.

Lazarak did not say anything. He merely smiled at Damon not knowing what he was thinking.

Yes gods like Doom were still alive and perhaps the goddess was a god but could it not still be argued that the gods were dead.

After all it was gods like Doom that had slaughtered and deposed the old gods.

Now mortals who had become gods ruled. You would think they would create a paradise but still only hell existed.

Damon’s disgusted expression made Lazarak smile.

“A true god cannot be killed. It is impossible. I am afraid even they cannot kill themselves.”

He lowered his head slightly but continued.

“There is a work around. A god’s nature is the same regardless of what type of god they are. In the end gods are meant to be creators. Their power will always lean toward being part of a grand order even if they transcended it.”

Damon knew he would be disappointed but he wanted to know.

“How can one win against a true god.”

Lazarak took a deep breath.

“Defy yourself. You cannot kill them but I figured you did not intend to kill one anyway. In order to win against a true god you must betray yourself.”

Damon was confused. He was more confused than he had ever been about anything. Betray himself? How was he supposed to do that.

Lazarak had said these same words to himself before, after they had found the lake of tears.

’Did he not remember saying that ….’

He had already betrayed all his noble ideals and now he was a disgraced and ruined vestige of the kind of man he could have become.

“I do not understand.”

Lazarak smiled gently. His smile was soft and peaceful yet there was a trace of sadness in his eyes.

“We must go against our nature. Even gods are prisoners of their nature. To betray yourself is to go against your fundamental nature. Do what you would never do.”

Damon still did not understand until he thought about it a little.

“You mean… to force the god to go against… no that is not it. To force them to act within their nature because it is difficult to go against theirs as well.”

He scratched his head looking at Lazarak.

“It is like how the gods all have domains in specific areas. You want to make them act out of their domains. Thus a betrayal of their nature… ”

Lazarak narrowed his eyes then shook his head.

“No.”

He muttered softly biting his lip.

“I was trying to tell you…”

He raised his head in hopelessness.

“It is impossible to defeat a true god. You will never succeed. You cannot force their nature. They are omniscient and all knowing. Your schemes mean nothing. Your advantages mean nothing.”

Lazarak tilted his head with a smile.

“Only a true being may face another. You are neither. Maybe you can use their hearts; their hearts are still flawed because they were once mortals.”

“Though you will fail.”

Damon was not ready to accept this.

“I cannot accept that even if it is a truth written into the heavens.”

Lazarak nodded softly.

“You will fail to die Damon. Do not run. Face it.”

Damon’s hands trembled as he gazed at Lazarak. From the beginning Lazarak had been mysterious to him.

Like the veil of darkness Damon could not see. He seemed wise and ancient yet he was calm and playful.

“I… running away… is…”

Damon was at a loss for words. He did not even know what he wanted to say.

He turned to the statue of the goddess of doom. Damon had been loath to admit it before but he had to. The trial of truth had forced him to do so and Damon knew it very well. This truth.

“Are you afraid of the goddess of doom Lazarak.” he asked the toddler god.

Lazarak did not hesitate looking at the statue made of reflective mirror.

His heart contracted.

“We are all god fearing. We are created with the fear of the unknown and gods are the greatest unknown. So yes I fear her.”

Unknown. It was funny Lazarak would use that word here.

“You are a god Lazarak. What do you fear.”

Lazarak had agreed to be honest with Damon so he did not hide it.

“I fear my death.”

Damon did not react. There was more to it so he let Lazarak continue.

“Do you know when a god dies?”

He asked Damon but it seemed rhetorical.

“Gods are only dead when they are forgotten. I fear being forgotten.”

He looked up at Damon again.

“Do you want to know what scares a god Damon?”

He tried to smile but his lip trembled just a little. The smallest crack in the facade of a divine being.

“It is not death. Not the way mortals think about it.

“Gods die when they are forgotten. When no one remembers their name. When their story is no longer told. When the meaning of them dissolves.”

This was Lazarak’s fear and he was not afraid to confide in a friend.