My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger

Chapter 633: Chapter 634: The Only One I Can Tell

Evangeline felt so helpless sometimes. She didn’t know what was going through Damon’s mind. For the life of her, she could not understand why he was being so insensitive.

On the other hand, Leona’s nose twitched as she picked up a strange scent from Damon’s mood, one she couldn’t quite place.

It was almost like anger, sadness, and maybe even guilt, but she couldn’t get a clear enough read to be sure.

Leona smiled faintly at Xander.

“I’m sorry about your brother…”

Xander nodded, his gaze falling on Damon.

“Hmmmm, that’s actually the nicest thing I expected to come out of your mouth.”

The brown-haired young man smiled as he settled into his chair.

“You’ve really bettered yourself as a human being.”

He sat down at the table across from Damon. His posture was relaxed, but his eyes carried a subtle weight.

“I’ll take you up on that offer. A drink sounds nice.”

Evangeline glared at Damon, standing up quickly. She felt like she had a responsibility to apologize on his behalf, after all this trash was her relative.

“I deeply apologize for his thoughtless words. I offer my condolences on behalf of both of us and House Brightwater.”

She found a way to slip the family name along with theirs without giving anything away.

Damon’s gaze remained locked on Xander. He must have seemed pristine to others, but Damon could feel something different about him. Something had changed. There was a difference in Xander that Damon didn’t quite like.

It was almost as if you had been drinking from a clear spring, and one day you returned to find someone had poured a few drops of poison into the waters, tainting its purity.

“You look better than I thought you would.”

Damon poured Xander a drink as he spoke.

Xander let a slow smile creep up his lips.

“Never thought the day would come that you’d pour me a drink… you really are being nice.”

Damon narrowed his gaze, then put the bottle down with deliberate care.

It was ironic. Before he killed Xander’s brother, Godric, he had talked with him and even shared a drink. Shared a drink with the man who had killed his mother and father and made his life a mess.

Damon had wished Godric was the man he imagined in his head, unrepentant and remorseless. He had wanted to see a man laughing at the thought of killing his parents.

But what he had found instead was a man broken by his own sins, a man who refused to move on with his life, forever struck, standing in that moment, reliving his crime.

Damon understood what it meant to carry the shame of one’s sins. He himself carried the shame of killing Carmen Vale, yet still looked into the man’s daughter’s eyes as if he were her savior.

He carried the shame of failing to lead his friends to safety, resulting in Matia’s death, because he had made up his mind that she was expendable. Now she lingered as his shadow, as if to remind him of his sins.

That was why Damon could not hate Godric, but neither could he forgive him.

’I bet letting him live would have been something beautiful.’

His promise to Valarie Sunwarden rang in his mind.

Yes, forgiveness was something beautiful, but Damon was a small man. He was not strong enough to forgive.

Xander sipped the drink, the burning sensation trailing down his throat.

“I never really got a chance to talk to my brother… you know, learn what had been bothering him.”

Damon frowned, his brows tightening. Why was Xander telling him this? Why him of all people?

Evangeline recognized Xander’s desire to speak and discreetly pulled Leona by the hand as she stood. Renata followed, leaving with Matia as well.

For now, it was just the two young men who had never gotten along with each other, yet always seemed to find themselves fighting on the same side, sharing their burdens like brothers.

Damon poured him another drink. The two of them were left alone in Evangeline’s VIP section of the grand hall.

“Every day I would say, I’ll talk to him. I figured maybe it was because I had never fought a war, never faced the horrors. But the truth is, I was just a coward.”

He struck the table with his glass, the sharp sound ringing in the silence.

Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself.

Damon didn’t say anything. Once again, he was trapped in the familiar situation of hearing the grief of the victim of his own acts.

Months ago it had been Iris, crying her heart out over her father’s death at his hands, unbeknownst to her that he was the murderer. Now it was Xander.

Xander sighed, the alcohol on his breath carrying a faint fragrance.

“After what happened to us, I returned home. You know, I hate to admit it, but you inspired me. Your devil-may-care attitude had some effect on me. When I stood before my brother, I thought… if you were in my place, you’d say what was on your mind. Face it, no matter what.”

This was how Xander Ravenscroft saw Damon Grey, as someone who always pressed forward.

Damon, on the other hand, kept his expression passive. His face was hidden beneath his hood. Xander only imagined his expression was calm and unreadable.

He was wrong. Damon’s expression was twisted, his lips pressed tightly between his teeth.

“I never got a chance to talk to my brother. I was robbed of a chance to talk to him. All I was allowed was the chance to see his corpse disappear before my eyes.”

Damon swallowed his feelings, forcing his breath to remain steady.

Why? Why him? Why was Xander pouring his heart out to him?

’Why are you doing this to me…’

Then his tone grew cold.

“Why are you telling me this? Why do you think I would care?”

Damon couldn’t help but slam the table.

“Why should I give a damn about the death of some noble I don’t even know!”

His chest heaved as his breath grew heavy. He didn’t even know why he felt so frustrated. Why… why did Xander have that expression on his face? Why was he looking at him like that?

With… with… trust.

Xander’s eyes were calm as he muttered softly.

“Because… you’re the only one I can tell.”

His words made Damon fall back into his seat, his legs suddenly feeling heavy for some reason.