Eldritch Horror Theatre

”Open up! Time to get up!”

Before Fu Qian could even respond, the visitor was already shouting outside. It was Qin Mingze’s voice.

Fu Qian cast a reluctant glance at his noodles, then got up to open the door.

Outside, alongside Young Master Qin, who had visited yesterday, stood a harmless-looking young man in his twenties.

Seeing Fu Qian open the door, the two of them exchanged a silent glance.

”Are you that free lately, Young Master Qin? Lose your job?”

Fu Qian looked at Qin Mingze blankly.

”Lose my job, my ass. It’s Saturday! Xiao Yu and I came over to hang out.”

Qin Mingze nearly spat in Fu Qian’s face as he pushed the door open and squeezed his way inside.

The Classmate Xiao Yu he mentioned smiled helplessly, greeted Fu Qian, and followed him inside.Classmate Xiao Yu’s full name was Wu Qingyu. He was an old acquaintance of Fu Qian’s, a mutual friend he shared with Qin Mingze.

Twenty-four-year-old Wu Qingyu was a student at a prestigious medical school, currently in his internship. Rumor had it he was being exploited so mercilessly he no longer knew day from night. Fu Qian hadn’t seen him in a month or two.

”Ugh!”

Young Master Qin bounded into the living room and threw himself onto the sofa, letting out a groan of comfort.

”These fabric sofas really are the most comfortable. My neck has been killing me these past two days.”

Wu Qingyu was even more dramatic; the moment he hit the sofa, he went completely limp and lay motionless.

”Out with it. What’s going on? You two couldn’t have come all this way just to mooch off my sofa.”

Fu Qian glanced at the noodles on the table.

”Make it quick. I haven’t eaten yet.”

”This is what you’re eating?”

Young Master Qin looked at the table, his face filled with horror.

”Never mind. Xiao Yu and I brought some food, so grab some of that and make do.”

Hearing this, the sprawled-out Wu Qingyu weakly held out a bag.

”Nothing’s going on, really. Xiao Yu and I both happen to be off today. He said it’s been a while since he saw you, so we came over to hang out. The three of us haven’t had a weekend gathering in ages.”

Young Master Qin explained without batting an eye.

Qin Mingze and Wu Qingyu were among the few guests Fu Qian ever received.

Once upon a time, Fu Qian had also been a cheerful kid and a stellar student.

Thanks to his outstanding intellect, he spent a long time as the ”other parents’ child” that adults always praised, and the nightmare of countless classmates.

However, ever since his parents died in an accident when he was ten, Fu Qian’s temperament had drastically changed—or, in his own words, he had achieved complete enlightenment.

After several months of contemplating the meaning of life, he successfully kicked words like academics, socializing, future, romance, and career completely out of his dictionary, growing up completely skewed into the man he was today.

Naturally, he had very few friends left. These days, Qin Mingze and Wu Qingyu basically made up his entire social circle.

”You’re off today?”

Fu Qian looked at the sprawled-out Wu Qingyu, who gave an ”Mm-hmm” of acknowledgment.

”Didn’t you say you were slammed and had absolutely no time to rest?”

”I am!”

Wu Qingyu had a throw pillow covering his face, his voice muffled like sleep talk.

”Running errands, working night shifts, filing charts. And when I finally get a bit of free time, I still have to write my damn thesis. My head is full of it even when I sleep... so I came here to unwind.”

”Right, bring out your console so we can play. It’s been a while, and my hands are itching for some gaming.”

Qin Mingze patted Fu Qian’s shoulder.

It had to be said that even though Fu Qian frequently didn’t know where his next meal was coming from, he kept a full setup of gaming equipment at home and always made sure to keep it updated. For instance, the reason he was currently eating dirt was that he had just bought the newest console.

As for why things were like this, as a member of the lie-flat generation, Fu Qian truly had an abundance of free time. Gaming was an excellent way to acquire dopamine.

At the same time, writing copy for indie games was one of his sources of income. In Fu Qian’s own words, creative work required an understanding of the medium, making proper material gathering essential.

”What are we playing today?”

Young Master Qin rubbed his hands together, the most excited of the three.

In this day and age, gaming was an indispensable topic for single young men.

The three of them had played countless games together. Among them, Wu Qingyu—whose nimble fingers were honed by his medical training—had always been the unrivaled champion.

However, Fu Qian was no longer the person he used to be. His physical control had reached an unimaginable realm.

Watching Fu Qian utterly slaughter them both with a blank expression, Young Master Qin finally flew into a humiliated rage and kicked him off the console.

”Any progress on your latest career plan?”

While bullying the half-asleep Wu Qingyu in the game, Young Master Qin asked, pretending to sound casual.

”It’s only been a day.”

Finally, Fu Qian thought to himself.

He had long noticed the two of them carefully observing him. Hearing this, he simply hit the pause button on the console.

”Spill it. What’s the real reason you two came over today?”

...

Qin Mingze and Wu Qingyu exchanged a glance. Finally, Wu Qingyu hesitantly spoke up.

”Yesterday, Brother Qin came to me in a panic. He said you were acting a bit abnormal and worried that something was wrong with your health, so he insisted on dragging me here to take a look.”

”Xiao Qian.”

Qin Mingze wore a serious expression as well.

”I understand your eagerness, but working out needs to be done step by step. Some of those quick-fix methods can do a lot of damage to your body.”

Having said that, he turned his head back toward Wu Qingyu.

”Is he really okay?”

”I’m confident about that much at least.”

Wu Qingyu yawned.

”I don’t know how Xiao Qian has been training, but he’s clearly perfectly healthy. In this condition, he could probably beat up ten of me without a problem.”

”But he built it up too fast! I don’t understand it!”

Young Master Qin looked at Wu Qingyu, his face full of existential doubt, while the latter just spread his hands.

”How should I put this... I actually left a few things out yesterday.”

Seeing these two terrible friends take time out of their busy schedules just to check on his health, Fu Qian felt quite moved and decided to come clean about a few things.

There really was a hidden story!

The two of them instantly sat bolt upright, their four eyes gleaming brightly.

”The truth is, I recently picked up another part-time job. It pays quite well, and getting in shape is just a byproduct.”

”Pays quite well? Is it manual labor?”

Both Qin Mingze and Wu Qingyu were surprised.

”Basically. Occasionally I have to use my brain, and at the moment, technique is also very important.”

The two of them stared blankly.

”The amount of physical exertion must be huge, right?”

”Not always. But sometimes having to repeat it over and over gets a bit annoying.”

”Take care of your body.”

The two of them were completely speechless.

”Wait a minute.”

After a moment of silence, Qin Mingze’s expression shifted several times before he suddenly stood up and started stripping off his clothes.

”Holy shit!”

This action dumbfounded Wu Qingyu. He subconsciously rubbed his face.

”I’m not awake yet, I’m not awake yet. I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming!”

After rubbing his face for a moment, he suddenly let out a wail.

”Why haven’t I even finished my thesis in my dreams?!”

”Take your clothes off and put mine on.”

Qin Mingze tossed the clothes he had just taken off over to Fu Qian.

”What for?”

”Just put them on.”

After Fu Qian put them on, Qin Mingze pulled out his phone and snapped several pictures from different angles. When he was done, he snapped his fingers.

”It’s too much of a waste not to use those muscles of yours. We’re about the same height. Later on, I’ll Photoshop your head out and swap mine in. It’ll be invincible for picking up girls.”

Fu Qian looked back over at Wu Qingyu.

”See? If you had this kind of shameless drive, you would’ve finished your thesis ages ago.”

”...I think I’ll pass.”