Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

”You plan to win like this!?” Weevil snapped in anger.

”Sa, what are you saying? I don’t quite get it.” Lyman smiled. ”In a duel, as long as you win, does the tactic really matter?”

Weevil ground his teeth.

Well, he himself wasn’t exactly some upright duelist either. He’d even secretly stuffed cards into his opponent’s deck to win before.

But this still pissed him off!

Especially getting beat up by a cat—that was even more infuriating.

”Finally, I activate the Spell Card ’Black Process - Negledo,’” Lyman said. ”This card can only be activated while there’s a Chaos Distill on your field.

Banish all monsters on your field whose names include ’Alchemy Beast.’ For each one banished, you draw two cards from your deck.”

The Salamandra the Steel, the Leon the Lead, and the Ouroboros the Bronze on Lyman’s field were all wrapped in golden light, then turned into three beams and were absorbed into the massive Chaos Distill in his backrow, disappearing with a low rumble as they were banished.

”I banished three Alchemy Beasts, so I draw six cards from my deck!”

Lyman’s ammo was instantly restocked.

”Then I set one card and end my turn.”

Weevil stood up with a dark expression.

”You damn cat… I’ll make you understand what happens when you piss off Lord Weevil!

My turn, draw!”

Weevil squinted at Rivalry of Warlords on the other side.

”You seem to think that with that up, I can’t summon, but this level of lockdown can’t hold me.

My turn, draw!”

Weevil set a backrow, then immediately swept his hand to flip it up.

”I activate my set card! Continuous Trap: ’DNA Surgery!’

All monsters on the field become the Type I declare. I declare Insect!”

As his words fell, the three Ojama Tokens on his field began mutating, sprouting insect legs and mouthparts, like mutated creatures from a horror film.

”Hah, so you’ve got that trick too, nyaaa.” Lyman smiled cheerfully. ”Not bad. If they’re all Insects, your summoning restriction is indeed lifted.”

”Next I Normal Summon ’Pinch Hopper’!”

[Pinch Hopper, ATK 1000]

”Then I activate the Spell Card ’Eradicating Aerosol’!” Weevil swept out a Spell. ”Destroy all Insect-Type monsters on the field!”

”I see—DNA Surgery plus Aerosol. Turn any opponent’s monsters into Insects with DNA Surgery, then use Aerosol to wipe the field. A combo, huh?”

Lyman chuckled.

”Only thing is, I don’t have any monsters right now, so the only thing getting destroyed is your own field, nyaa.”

”Heh heh, I know… Why do you think I deliberately summoned Pinch Hopper before activating Aerosol?”

Weevil sneered, then swept his hand.

”Pinch Hopper’s effect! If this card is sent from your field to the GY, you can Special Summon any number of Insect-Type monsters from your hand!”

He burst out laughing and raised a card high.

”My ace isn’t just the Ultimate Insect. I’ll make you understand this deeply—right now!

Descend, sovereign of insects—

—Insect Queen!!!”

A sharp feminine cry, followed by a tremor like the earth itself. A gigantic shadow appeared on the field, as if some mighty existence had answered the duelist’s call and was about to descend.

Insect Queen, the new-generation ace Weevil showcased when he fought Joey in Battle City. Although she didn’t look too strong back then, later generations proved this monster still had untapped potential.

The nostalgia-milking dogs at K gave Insect Queen a new form too: ”Metamorphosed Insect Queen.”

Compared to the original, it’s a straight-up cannon-for-shotgun upgrade—more than a mere one-star bump.

However—

”Error.”

The Duel Disk emitted a warning tone, sparks flickering over the Monster Zone.

Then the massive silhouette simply vanished. The pitiful Insect Queen didn’t even get to appear—only a resentful shriek remained before she faded.

”NANI!?” Weevil was shocked. ”My Insect Queen? Why won’t it let me summon?”

Duel Disk malfunction?

”Hahahaha, an interesting tactic. But your ’Pinch Hopper’ only Special Summons Insects when it’s ’sent from the field to the GY.’

Unfortunately,”

Lyman’s ghost pushed up his glasses with a cold gleam.

”Your Pinch Hopper is never getting to the GY.”

”What?”

Weevil finally noticed the face-up backrow Lyman had already activated.

”Continuous Trap: ’Macro Cosmos’!” Lyman said. ”As long as this card is on the field, any card that would be sent to the GY is banished instead!”

Weevil’s expression froze.

So now I don’t even have a grave?

”Also, those three Ojama Tokens you just destroyed each have an effect,” Lyman added. ”Each time one is destroyed, you take 300 damage.”

[Weevil, LP 2000 → LP 1100]

”And, with the advent of the Macro Cosmos, the ultimate alchemical life shall also descend.”

Lyman raised his arm high, shouting with dramatic flair.

”Descend—

—Helios – The Primordial Sun!”

A pitch-black cosmic void, stars dimmed to embers. Solar flame ignited, as if the center of this Macro Cosmos was about to birth some central existence!

Weevil’s pupils shrank. He held his breath, staring at the fireball, instinctively not daring to make a sound—

But nothing happened.

Lyman held his summoner’s pose for several seconds, the mood growing awkward.

Weevil stared blankly for a few seconds, then slowly looked down. The fat orange cat was laboriously tugging the deck out of the Duel Disk and rifling through it with both paws and its mouth.

Weevil: ”…”

Lyman sighed. ”This is why I said the boss must be out of his mind, entrusting such an important job to a cat…”

The fat orange finally found the card, clamped it in his mouth, and placed it on the Duel Disk.

”Come, Helios!”

[Helios – The Primordial Sun, ATK ?]

”I don’t know what you’re trying to pull…”

Having been blown out by Macro and left with an empty field again, Weevil bit his lip but didn’t give up.

”I activate the Continuous Spell ’Insect Barrier’!

All Insect-Type monsters on your opponent’s field cannot declare an attack!”

”Oho?” Lyman narrowed his eyes. ”Combining it with ’DNA Surgery,’ huh?”

”Exactly!” Weevil said. ”No matter how powerful the monster, under Insect Barrier—”

”My turn. Draw.”

Lyman gave him no quarter, flipping a card from his hand before Weevil could even finish.

”Quick-Play Spell: ’Double Cyclone.’ Destroy one Spell/Trap on your field and one on your opponent’s field.”

Weevil’s heart clenched at once.

In that instant, he almost understood:

He was already a dead man.

”Destroy the Continuous Traps ’Rivalry of Warlords’ and ’DNA Surgery’ together,” Lyman smiled. ”That way, my monsters are no longer Insects.

Insect Barrier is useless.

Then I activate the Spell Card ’Yellow Process - Kitolenics’ from my hand!

Tribute Helios; let the Primordial Sun evolve—Special Summon ’Helios Duo Megistus’ from the deck!”

Lyman raised his arm and struck that signature ace-summoner pose unique to duelists.

And then… several seconds of excruciating silence.

Mm.

The orange chonk once again had to slowly yank out the deck and start searching…

A fresh reminder of how important auto-searching, auto-shuffling Duel Disks are.

After a while, the chubby Pharaoh cat finally panted his way to dropping the monster onto the Disk, then, with effort, shoved the newly shuffled deck back in.

[Helios Duo Megistus, ATK ?]

”Then I activate the Spell Card ’Red Process - Rubedo’!

Tribute Duo Megistus, another evolution! Special Summon ’Helios Trice Megistus’ from the deck!”

The orange Pharaoh, who had just managed to stuff the deck back in, froze.

”Nyaaa?”

The Pharaoh blinked his big innocent eyes at the stylishly-posed ghost Lyman hovering midair.

The cat suddenly felt the urge to beat up this ghost…

Weevil: ”…”

But in the end, the Pharaoh drooped his head and dispiritedly yanked the deck out again and searched with great effort—

”Show yourself!” Lyman shouted handsomely. ”Helios Trice Megistus!!!”

[Helios Trice Megistus, ATK ?]

In stark contrast to the domineering ace blazing with three suns and the impassioned Lyman reveling in his ace’s summoning stood the orange cat sprawled weakly on the ground.

The Pharaoh lazily glanced up at Lyman and meowed feebly.

As if to say: I’m doing all the manual labor here—what are you striking poses for?

”Helios’s ATK is 300 times the number of monsters banished,” Lyman said. ”I banished three Alchemy Beasts, and your Pinch Hopper was also banished by Macro last turn.

So Helios’s ATK is 1200.”

[Helios Trice Megistus, ATK 1200]

”Mm, not that high, but just enough.” Lyman beamed.

[Weevil, LP 1100]

Weevil trembled with rage.

”You damn cat—”

”Battle,” Lyman said. ”Helios Trice Megistus, direct attack.”

The sun unleashed a spiral blaze that lanced through Weevil. He roared in unwilling fury and finally collapsed to his knees amid the rising flames.

[Weevil, LP 1100 → LP 0]