Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

”We can’t enter the Battle Phase? I see.” Kira nodded.

The Doctor’s only monster last turn had been tunneled away to the next turn for burn damage, leaving no monster defense on the field. Having backrow protection was only natural.

”Then I activate this Field Spell.”

Kira played another card from his hand.

”Field Spell: Catapult Zone.”

In this era’s rules only one Field Spell can exist on the field between both players, not like later times when each player could have their own. Activating a new Field Spell forces the old one off the field.

The cosmic space vanished, replaced by an ancient, primitive catapult testing ground beneath a starless sky.

”Next I activate the Spell Card ’Monster Gate,’” Kira said. ”Tribute a monster I control; then excavate cards from the top of my Deck until I reveal a monster that can be Normal Summoned. Special Summon that monster, and send the rest of the excavated cards to the GY.

I’ll Tribute ’Machina Fortress,’ whose ATK has been reduced to 1000, and start excavating.”

Kira kept flipping. Nine in a row again, then revealed the hit.

”I Special Summon ’Sentry Soldier of Stone’ in Defense Position.”

[Sentry Soldier of Stone, DEF 2000]

”Then I set two cards and end my turn.”

Behind his glasses, Dr. Eisenstein’s eyes narrowed to slits.

It was definitely odd. He could see Kira’s Deck shrinking at a visible pace—half the Deck piled into the GY in just two turns—yet Kira showed no desire to press an attack.

What is he doing?

”My turn,” Dr. Eisenstein said.

Kira: ”Due to ’Draw Paradox,’ you don’t draw this turn. Instead, I draw one.”

”Indeed.” Dr. Eisenstein nodded. ”But in my Standby Phase, ’Laplace the Fiend Mathematician’ returns to my field.”

[Laplace the Fiend Mathematician, ATK 1000]

He didn’t understand the opponent’s aim, but he had a very bad feeling.

Time to speed up and end this with his true trump.

”Once more I activate ’Pot of Greed’ to draw two.” He glanced at the cards. ”But thanks to ’Schrödinger’s Cat,’ I can shuffle them back and redraw two.”

The Doctor redrew two.

”Next I activate the Spell ’Battle Constant’!”

A storm rose with the Spell’s activation, and within the whirlwind a translucent divine dragon’s silhouette loomed!

”Battle Constant is the epitome of my grand quantum theory of dueling! Behold—this doesn’t show up every day!” Dr. Eisenstein declared. ”Banish from play one Continuous Spell, one Continuous Trap, and one monster I control! Then Special Summon ’Brain Dragon’ from hand or Deck!”

His Schrödinger Cat, Draw Paradox, and Laplace the Fiend Mathematician vanished together, merging into the sky-piercing storm, and the divine dragon’s shadow took solid form and descended!

[Brain Dragon, ATK 2800]

”That’s the Doctor’s ace!” Misawa said, eyes shining. ”A dragon that represents the pinnacle of duel-physics!”

”When Brain Dragon is on the field, during my Draw Phase I draw two additional cards besides my normal draw, then place two cards from my hand on top of my Deck in any order,” Dr. Eisenstein declared.

”But my offense doesn’t end with summoning Brain Dragon.

At the moment of being banished, the Laplace the Fiend Mathematician’s effect also triggers again!”

Misawa jolted. ”When the Laplace leaves the field, it deals damage based on the number of cards on the field!”

”300 times the number of cards,” Alexis said. ”Depending on the field state, that’s big damage!”

”Counter Trap: ’Damage Polarizer,’” Kira said. ”Negate that damage effect; then both players draw one card from their Deck.”

”So you evaded the Laplace’s strike.”

Dr. Eisenstein pressed on. ”But I still have Brain Dragon’s attack!

And I activate the Spell ’Wonder Clover’: Discard a Level 4 Plant monster from my hand; one monster I control can attack twice this turn.

I discard ’Mystic Tomato.’ Brain Dragon can attack twice!”

Misawa said, ”With two attacks, break through Sentry Soldier of Stone and then a direct hit—Doctor wins.”

Alexis pondered. ”Mm, assuming the attacks go through.”

Given the opponent is Kira, though…

”Brain Dragon, attack ’Sentry Soldier of Stone’!”

Dr. Eisenstein held his breath.

Two hits would surely be enough.

”Field Spell ’Catapult Zone’ effect,” Kira explained calmly. ”If a monster on the field would be destroyed by battle, I can send a Rock monster from my Deck to the GY instead.”

A card popped out of Kira’s Deck.

”I send ’Tackle Crusader’ to the GY to prevent ’Sentry Soldier of Stone’ from being destroyed.”

”A field effect?” Dr. Eisenstein sneered. ”Looks like the OTK failed. But at least the second attack will destroy Sentry Soldier of Stone.”

”Sorry, that won’t happen either,” Kira smiled. ”When Tackle Crusader is sent to the GY, it flips one monster your opponent controls face-down into Defense Position.”

As he spoke, Brain Dragon had already lowered its banners, turning into a face-down card.

”See?” Alexis said.

In an I-knew-it tone.

Misawa sighed lightly.

”Well, I personally admire the Doctor and consider him a rare genius. But when your opponent is Kira…”

He didn’t finish, only shook his head with a ”what a shame” look.

As if to say: Doctor, you could have done anything else—why challenge this guy?

If you’d just avoided him, you’d still be the respected Doctor with a bright future…

”All right, preparations are about done,” Kira patted the dust from his clothes.

”Dr. Eisenstein came all this way, and we’ve seen a very interesting duel. In return, let me show you something we’ve been researching lately.”

He paused, then narrowed his eyes and smiled.

”You know our lab recently joined Industrial Illusion and KaibaCorp to form a special task force on Yugi Muto. Taking this chance, I’ve… let’s say, unearthed a tiny tip of the iceberg of what made the great Yugi so strong.”

And, though most people in this world don’t grasp the distinction, Kira meant the later-era world’s-strongest Yugi (Post-Duelist), not the Pharaoh from the DM anime period.

Dr. Eisenstein’s heart jolted.

”That legendary Yugi Muto’s…!?”

”Correct. One of Mr. Muto’s strongest monsters.”

Dr. Eisenstein was even more shocked.

Wouldn’t that be the Egyptian Gods?

No surprise—most people, when asked about the Duel King’s strongest monsters, immediately say the three Gods without dispute.

But since he said ”one of the strongest”…

Maybe Black Luster Soldier?

”I activate my set card: Continuous Trap ’Limit Reverse’ to revive a monster with 1000 or less ATK from my GY,” Kira said. ”Among the five cards ’Take Over 5’ sent to the GY, I revive—

—Catapult Turtle!”

[Catapult Turtle, ATK 1000]

Misawa: ”…”

If someone told him this before, he’d have scoffed. But now, if someone said Catapult Turtle is one of Yugi’s strongest monsters, he felt… that might not even be wrong.

Though the turtle is important, that’s not today’s feature.

”Time to bring it out. The card in my GY can’t be Normal Summoned, so when ’Reasoning’ flipped it, it went straight to the GY.

But if it’s in my hand or GY, I can Special Summon it by banishing three EARTH monsters from my hand/GY.

So from my GY I banish the EARTH ’Valkyrion the Magna Warrior,’ ’Megarock Dragon,’ and ’Gigantes’ to Special Summon—

—Block Dragon!”

[Block Dragon, ATK 2500]

Valkyrion, Megarock Dragon, and Gigantes share a summoning restriction: they can’t be Normal Summoned. So whether Reasoning or Monster Gate flips them, they go directly to the GY.

Everyone: ”?”

Seeing this child’s toy of a creature—called a dragon yet lacking any shred of majesty—left them baffled.

That’s one of Yugi Muto’s strongest?

You serious?

Kira was absolutely serious.

How strong is Block Dragon?

Even without reading the effect: as an ancient card that is simultaneously banned in Master Duel and the TCG, and limited in the OCG—sent to the multi-list jail deluxe—you can imagine its status.

And yes, it’s Yugi’s card—and specifically ”Atem-less” Yugi’s, not the Pharaoh’s. Its building-block toy look screams its owner’s style.

As for why it’s strong…

”Catapult Turtle’s effect: Tribute a monster on my field to inflict damage to the opponent equal to half of that monster’s ATK,” Kira said. ”I Tribute Block Dragon to deal damage equal to half its ATK.”

Block Dragon, freshly landed, turned into a cannonball and was fired down Catapult Turtle’s rails.

[Dr. Eisenstein, LP 4000 → 2750]

Misawa’s face changed: ”Masaka (don’t tell me)…!?”

”Block Dragon’s other effect: once per turn, if this card is sent to the GY, add up to three Rock monsters from Deck to hand whose total Levels equal 8.”

Kira pulled three Rocks from his Deck.

”I add the Level 4 Rock ’The Rock Spirit’ and another Level 4 Rock ’Gigantes’ to hand.”

”Then I activate Block Dragon’s GY effect: banish three EARTH monsters from hand/GY to Special Summon this card from the GY.

I banish Titan and Gigantes from my hand, and Sentry Soldier of Stone from my GY, to Special Summon ’Block Dragon.’”

[Block Dragon, ATK 2500]

Dr. Eisenstein’s face went white.

Being a Duel Physics, he immediately recognized the severity.

This busted thing’s revival isn’t once per turn!

As long as you can banish three EARTHs from hand/GY, it revives from the GY infinitely.

In other words, every EARTH monster in the GY is Catapult Turtle ammo!

Now he understood why Kira had milled half his Deck. He began to sweat.

”Catapult Turtle effect: fire Block Dragon,” Kira said.

[Dr. Eisenstein, LP 2750 → 1500]

”Y-you… how can…”

The Doctor tried to speak, but Kira didn’t give him time.

”From my GY I banish EARTH ’Gigastone Omega,’ ’Doom Dozer,’ and ’Machina Megaform’ to Special Summon ’Block Dragon.’”

[Block Dragon, ATK 2500]

”Catapult Turtle: fire.”

[Dr. Eisenstein, LP 1500 → 250]

The Doctor: ”…”

He fully got it now.

Aside from Megaform being binned via Fortress earlier, Gigastone Omega and Doom Dozer share a trait with Valkyrion and the like: they’re EARTH and cannot be Normal Summoned.

All perfect for Reasoning and Monster Gate to dump.

The Doctor’s logic clicked into place.

It clicked, but…

What kind of abyssal mindset uses this to duel!?

”Banish EARTH ’Machina Fortress,’ ’Tackle Crusader,’ and ’Machina Cannon.’”

Kira, a machine, repeated mercilessly.

”Block Dragon, revive.”

[Block Dragon, ATK 2500]

”Catapult Turtle, fire.”

Doctor: ”…”

[Dr. Eisenstein, LP 250 → 0]