Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

”Lastly, I play Shield Crush—destroy a Defense Position monster,” Snake River said. ”Destroy Vampire Grace!”

Green light lanced through the noble; she screamed and burst apart.

”And the Vampire Duke Special Summoned by Awakening self-destructs in the End Phase.”

The duke dissipated in a blood mist. In Snake River’s turn, two Vampire Tributes had appeared and then vanished; he’d cleared three monsters and left Kira with an empty board. He swelled with confidence.

”I set one. Turn end,” he snorted. ”Clearing the chaff this turn—next turn, my snakes will bury you.”

”I suppose I should be nervous, then.”

Kira smiled.

”My turn. Draw.

I activate Graceful Charity—draw three, discard two.”

He cycled the hand.

”Then I activate Monster Reborn to revive a monster from my GY.”

Snake River grunted. ”Another Vampire Tribute?”

”Haha—not this time,” Kira said. ”Snake monsters… such gloomy fellows. Every one of them looks creepy and sinister. Not a ray of sunshine.”

Snake River blinked, not following.

”What’s your point?”

”Nothing—just that too much darkness is bad.”

Kira took a card from the GY and showed it.

”The monster I’m reviving is—

—Vampire Hunter!”

[Vampire Hunter ATK 1600]

Snake River realized it was one Kingdom had tossed earlier, but still puzzled.

A 1600-ATK Level 4. He had Vampire Duke and Grace in the grave—both Tributes.

And as shown last turn, Duke’s on-summon mills the opponent, triggering Kingdom to pop a card.

Why pass on that for a ho-hum Level 4…?

What came next baffled him more.

”Battle,” Kira said. ”Vampire Hunter attacks Urubonus, the Avatar of Malice.”

Snake River: ”!”

Attacking up into higher ATK?

”I don’t know what you’re trying—” he snapped. ”Urubonus’s effect: the battling monster loses 300 ATK during damage calculation!”

[Vampire Hunter ATK 1600 → 1300]

”No problem,” Kira said evenly. ”Vampire Hunter: when battling a DARK monster, negate damage calculation and destroy that opponent’s monster.”

Snake River: ”???”

Say that again!?

DARK destruction… which meant—

His entire deck.

Yes—every Snake in his list was DARK.

Which made that whip-wielding hunter nearly invincible against his snake horde!

Watching Urubonus shatter under a strike from a monster 700 ATK lower made Snake River’s soul leave his body.

Aren’t Vampires DARK? Why do you have this!?

Oh—Vampire ”Hunter,” right. Hunts Vampires, huh?

An anti-Vampire slayer that actually has ”Vampire” in the name, searchable in the Vampire engine—what a cruel joke…

”I set one. Turn end.”

Kira smiled at him.

”So I said—too much darkness is unhealthy.”

Snake River: ”…”

He almost asked how Kira had the face to say that.

Then it hit him: that ”upright” Vampire Hunter, while preying on DARK… was itself DARK.

Somehow the card and its master had the same two-faced vibe. A match made in hell…

Snake River gritted his teeth.

He needed a plan.

”My turn. Draw!”

”I activate Shuffle Reborn! If I control no monsters: Special Summon a monster from my GY with its effects negated. It’s banished at the End Phase.”

He pulled a card from the GY.

”Rise again—Urubonus, the Avatar of Malice!”

[Urubonus ATK 2000]

Even revived, as long as it was DARK, it couldn’t beat the Hunter.

”You spotted my deck’s DARK weakness? Tch. If you think that alone will stop my serpent legion, you’re naive.

I activate my set trap, Offering to the Snake Deity! Choose one Reptile I control and two cards you control; destroy all three!”

”So Urubonus was ammo for the shot,” Kira said.

”I choose the Reptile Urubonus, your Vampire Hunter, and your set backrow—destroy all three!”

Urubonus howled as the trap’s energy consumed it, transforming into a guided serpent missile. It blasted the Hunter and the set card to ash.

Snake River laughed.

”Now your field is empty, and my Snake deck is just getting started.

I Normal Summon Lamia!”

[Lamia ATK 1300]

”On Normal Summon, add an 8-star Snake monster from deck to hand. I search my deck’s trump—

—Evil Dragon Ananta—appear!”

The air congealed. Warped light, a crushing aura.

A serpent in name, but it arrived with a dragon’s deep roar. Eight heads, scales shimmering with eldritch gleam, spewing black fire.

Evil Dragon Ananta—summon!

[Evil Dragon Ananta, ATK ?]

A true boss, and the swagger returned to Snake River; the nausea from Vampire Hunter evaporated.

”Of course, I’ve already used my Normal Summon. But Ananta, the endgame of Snake Deck, can Special Summon itself at will.

By banishing all Reptile monsters from my field and GY.”

He explained.

”And Ananta’s ATK/DEF become 600 times the number of Reptiles banished!”

That meant every Reptile he’d summoned so far: two Black Mambas, one Urubonus, plus Lamia.

”Four Reptiles—ATK up by 2400!”

[Evil Dragon Ananta ATK 2400]

”Lamia’s effect—if this card is banished: target a Reptile you control; it can’t be destroyed by effects until the end of your next turn.

So Ananta gains destruction protection!

And the more Reptiles I banish, the stronger Ananta grows—the apex of Snakes!” Snake River declared. ”Your field is empty, no backrow.

Go—Ananta, direct attack!”

All eight heads opened wide and spat inky flame.

Kira’s board was indeed bare; the surging blaze seemed poised to swallow him. No defense, nowhere to run—cornered by black fire—

At the last instant, a card in his hand moved on its own!

It leapt onto the disk, and a graceful figure flew out, planting her small body in front of him.

Snake River: ”!?”

What just flew out?

Kira spoke: ”Vampire Fraulein’s effect: when a monster declares an attack, Special Summon this card from the hand in Defense Position.”

[Vampire Fraulein DEF 2000]

A pallid young lady under a black parasol, black petaled dress, frail as if a breeze could topple her.

”Tch—another trick in hand? Using a scrub to soak the hit?”

Snake River scoffed.

”Then continue. Ananta, crush the chaff.”

”She’s no chaff.”

Kira smiled faintly.

”Fraulein is the Vampire ace.”

She smiled too, giving him a tiny nod.

Kira extended his arm.

She lifted her skirt hem, stepped forward, bowed, then bared tiny fangs and sank them gently into his arm.

Snake River’s pupils shrank—he sensed something.

”Your monster is a spirit!?”

So many spirits under one man?

Who was this guy? Just a KaibaCorp goon?

”Vampire Fraulein: during damage calculation when a Zombie I control battles an opponent’s monster, pay LP in multiples of 100, up to 3000; my battling monster gains that much ATK/DEF for that calculation only.”

Kira paused, smiling easily.

”By taking my blood, she gains strength. I’ll pay the max—3000 LP.”

[Kira LP 3400 → 400]

[Vampire Fraulein DEF 2000 → 5000]

Color returned to her pale face. She dabbed her lips, bowed again, then turned to the foe with a dangerous smile.

”DEF 5000!?”

Snake River flinched.

He’d already re-declared the attack after she appeared; he couldn’t retract it. He was about to eat over 2000 burn back!

He could tank it.

He hadn’t expected a monster to be both a hand trap and a reflect wall. A nasty surprise.

But the boost only lasted for damage calculation. His opponent’s LP was now a candle in the wind. Next turn—

”I activate a Trap from my hand,” Kira said.

Snake River: ”!?”

Why can you activate traps from hand?

”The two cards you destroyed—besides Vampire Hunter, the other was Cross-Counter Trap. The turn it’s sent to the GY by the opponent, I can activate one trap from my hand.

And I choose this.”

He revealed a trap.

”’Rise to Full Height’: double the DEF of a monster I control until the end of the turn; then its DEF becomes 0 at the end.”

”I’ll double the Daughter’s DEF.”

Snake River’s eyes shrank again.

From 5000 to—

[Vampire Fraulein DEF 5000 → 10000]

”Ten thousand DEF!?”

He was dumbstruck.

Wait, no! Stop! I cancel the attack!

Ananta, come back—

But the eight-headed dragon was already smashing in.

Fraulein flicked her parasol; the tremendous force recoiled like a tidal wave.

”Aaaaugh!!!”

[Snake River LP 4000 → 0]