Marvelous Martial Arts (A Marvel Story)

Colonel James Rhodes, or Rhodey, did not look very comfortable as he entered the room. Mason could understand, considering the man was being used against his friend by some corrupt senator. Well, Rhodey did not know that last part, although Mason considered it always a safe bet to assume a politician was corrupt.

Still, it did not stop Rhodey from shaking both Tony’s and Eric’s hands, although Mason did not know of any past relationship between his father and the Colonel, before sitting down. The moment he did, Senator Stern droned on, ”I have here the complete report of Iron Man from Colonel Rhodes. Colonel, for the record, could you please read page 57, paragraph 4.”

Eric raised his left eyebrow as he began digging in his notes, the senator’s words seemingly sparking enlightenment, while Rhodey frowned and asked, ”You are requesting that I read a specific selection from the report, Sir?”

Stern, who saw Eric rapidly digging into his notes, knew whatever would come out would not be in his favor, so he urged Rhodey impatiently, ”Yes, please read now.”

Rhodey, the military man, instinctively followed the order; it had been ingrained into him to follow orders after all, but before he could start, Tony kicked him in the shin. Rhodey sent a confused look at his friend before spotting Eric reading his notes fast enough to earn the world record.

This caused him to reconsider the order, and he decided to waste some more time as he spoke slowly, ”Senator, it was my understanding that I was going to be testifying in a much more comprehensive and detailed-”

Senator Stern’s voice came out somewhat muffled from how hard he was grinding his teeth as he interrupted, ”I know that, but many things have changed, Colonel, so please read. Now.”

Inwardly, Stern was regretting their decision to take Rhodes as a witness. Their first intention had been to use one of Tony’s friends to destabilize him, to use Rhodes’ sense of duty to personally attack Stark, but with how things were going, their decision might backfire horribly.

Seeing Eric tap his fingers on the table faster and faster, Rhodey knew he only had to earn some more time, so he said, ”You do understand that reading a single paragraph out of context is not-”

”Read the passage, Colonel!” Stern’s voice rose as he gave a direct order, through tone more so than through words.

Rhodes sighed and began, ”As he does not operate…”

”Objection!”

Rhodes stopped, and Stern sighed as he asked, ”Yes, Mr Tunt?”

Eric smiled as he replied, ”Colonel Rhodes wrote this report of his while working on a project known as the Aerodynamic Marvel, under General Thaddeus Ross, who is in the room with us today. This project aimed to find a weapon to replace Iron Man, but after several miserable, for lack of a better word, failures from Mr. Hammer’s designs, the project was deemed a failure and abandoned. Hence, this report is irreclaimable as it was written under unacceptable conditions, and all contents are hence considered biased and unfit for court.”

Stern sent a look at his fellow Senators, Justin Hammer, and finally the lawyers on their side, but they all shook their heads. Tony grinned as he fist bumped with Eric, who continued, ”Since Colonel Rhodes’ report is unacceptable, we would like to call our own witness.”

Stern spat out impatiently, ”We are not done yet! Colonel Rhodes, the videos!”

Audrey, seeing Stern’s reaction, snorted, ”Dad made him snap.”

Both Elena and Mason nodded, smiling, feeling proud of their father.

Nearly all the cameras were now on Stern, zooming in on his angry, rapidly reddening face. One of the other Senators next to Stern quickly whispered something to him, making Stern somewhat calm down. He likely reminded him of his station and the expected temperament.

Rhodey did not act immediately, letting the cameras stay on Stern’s face a while more before finally commanding, ”Bring the images.”

The screen lit up as a satellite image was shown. Rhodey explained, ”Intelligence suggests that the device seen in these photos,” the image was zoomed in, showing a rough image of a large robot, ”is an attempt from other nations to replicate Mr Stark’s Iron Man Suit.”

Stern pressed him, ”And?”

Rhodey sighed and added, ”This has been corroborated by our allies and local intelligence, indicating that these suits are quite possibly, at this moment, operational.”

Exclamations rang in the room, but Tony rolled his eyes as he already had his phone out, if that could be called a phone. It looked more like a portable hologram, something even Mason had never seen in his old world. A pop-up suddenly appeared on the screen, displaying ‘Welcome Mr Stark’, and Tony himself said, ”Let us be a little more transparent, shall we?”

The screen moved on from the satellite imagery to a close-up, high-quality video of the large robot, with Tony giving the context this time: ”I believe this is North Korea.”

In the video, the four-meter-tall robot awkwardly walked out of a hangar, but it barely made a few steps before falling to the ground. Worse yet, the machine guns attached to its arms were automatically activated, and the bullets shredded through the surrounding scientists.

Eric commented, ”This was the end of North Korea’s foremost scientists on the subject.”

The image then turned to Iran, where an even more disastrous test was shown, before finally showing one of Justin Hammer. The armor was man-sized this time, with a visible pilot in it, but as he tried walking, the upper part of the armor suddenly made a 180… without the lower part.

Justin was one second too late to unplug the screen as everyone was shown the ‘operational’ suit of Hammer Industries twist a man in two, probably killing him, or at least turning his legs useless for the rest of his life.

Stern facepalmed, while Tony grinned, ”I would say most countries are 5, 10 years away from replicating anything close to my suit, maybe even more for Hammer Industries.”

Stern no longer cared for appearances as he got up from his seat, groaning, ”Fine, I think you’ve made your point-”

But Tony was not about to let him off the hook so easily, ”Point is, you’re welcome?”

”Excuse me?” Even Stern looked surprised by that one.

Tony rolled his eyes before not really clarifying, ”You can thank me.”

”Because?”

”Because I’m your nuclear deterrent. It’s working; America is safe. You want my property? You can’t have it! But I did you a big favor!”

Tony got up from his seat, looking around the room as he addressed them all this time, and more importantly, the cameras, ”I have successfully privatized world peace.”

The audience, including Mason and his family, got up from their seats to applaud Tony, completely drowning out Stern’s protests.

Tony turned to Stern with a teasing smile, ”I’ve tried to play ball with these clowns, but look at what they did!”

Stern’s patience had reached its breaking point, and as every camera zoomed onto his face, he spat out with venom, ”Fuck you, Mr Stark. Fuck you, buddy.”

Stern instantly realized, as he saw a huge grin break out on Eric’s face, that he had messed up, and quickly followed with, ”Meeting adjourned.”

Tony winked at Stern while putting on his glasses, adding to his teasing, ”It was nice talking to you too, buddy.”

Stern clenched his fists, but remained quiet as he watched with venom in his eyes as Tony left with his entourage.