Beware Of Chicken

Chapter V8C1: Family Road Trip

The sun rose over Grass Sea City, bathing it in light. It was going to be a slow day, people shaking off hangovers from the absolute rager of a party that had been going on for the past week, celebrating the investiture of the Lord Protector.

It had been a great time… but we did have to move on eventually. Babe hooked himself up to our big carriage, Washy hopped into his jar, and our squadron of bees once more coalesced into a single point.

It was time to resume our journey across the Azure Hills, fixing Tianlan’s damaged dragon veins… and meeting the people who lived here along the way.

After being seen off with so much fanfare in every other place we had visited, our departure from Grass Sea City was positively tame. There was no grand procession seeing us off… and it was nice.

We were already far enough away from the city that we could see most of it, and once more Tigu was right. The city, crouched on an island between two rivers, looked like a giant beetle. But unlike Tigu’s first description of something fat, swollen, and ugly, the freshly cleaned walls and bridges reflected the sun’s rays, turning the beetle’s ‘carapace’ the same colours as the sunrise, a bejeweled blend of pinks and golds.

It was a fantastic view from the top of the carriage. It really did make me glad I was seeing more of the province. I ran my fingers through my son’s hair, Zhuye conked out in my lap. The carriage’s rocking had lulled him to sleep.

“As always, the world graces us with beauty,” a deep voice said from the top of my head. Big D had his eyes directed at the city as well, the rooster’s voice full of admiration.

Though he was on my head due to necessity, as we had to look around two sets of bushy tails and long fox ears, as well as the incredibly fluffy head sandwiched between them.

“I knew it was the right call to leave early,” Yun Ren said, his smile wide. His fox ears and tail were on full display, wagging happily. “The light here is fantastic.”

A recording crystal chimed, and the second set of fox-appendages rustled. “Like this, Young Master?” Suyan, our maid, asked, handing over the crystal to Yun Ren for his perusal.

Yun Ren, the photography fiend that he was, gave all due consideration to what had been captured, before he nodded. “This is great, Suyan! Biyu, take a look at this.”

Biyu, Yun Ren’s wife and crystal carver extraordinaire, looked at the image she was shown. “Oh, thatʼs an interesting composition!” Biyu praised her, her fluffy hair bouncing up and down as she nodded and gestured with her own recording crystal. Her newest creation looked a lot sleeker than the original, kind of chunky one Yun Ren still used.

Suyan’s tail started wagging as well, a small, pleased expression coming over her normally stoic face. She turned, catching both of us looking at her, and her ears perked up.

“Master, what do you think?” she asked, reaching over to hand me the recording crystal. Yun Ren was right. Instead of trying to record the whole city, she had just captured the very tops of the buildings, where they met the sky. It was a neat effect.

“You have a good eye, Suyan,” I said, and resisted the urge to pat her head like I would Tigu… even though she probably wouldn’t have minded it.

“Indeed. Do you mind if I take inspiration from this? I have an idea for a wood block print,” Big D said, stroking his wattles with interest.

Suyan’s tail wagged harder, and she turned to play around with the recording crystal more.

“Remember to get some good closeups of the walls, please!” came another male voice from behind me.

“Yes, Young Master,” Suyan replied; her voice as serious as always. I chuckled and turned to the other half of the carriage, where the rest of our party was. Babe was out in front, while Washy, our dragon, was lounging in his jar beside Gou Ren. There was a pouch of nuts between them, and Gou Ren and Washy were both occasionally reaching in to eat some.

Gou Ren had his nose buried in a medical book Meiling had given him, Common Ailments of Newborns and Children. Xianghua, his wife, wasn’t even showing her pregnancy yet, and as Sect Master of the Misty Lake Sect, she had enough resources to have doctors on hand, but Gou Ren wanted to be sure.

Something Xianghua was ten-thousand percent smug about, while Meimei’s eyes had gone all soft in the way elder sisters got when their little brothers grew up.

Meimei, Xianghua, and Rizzo were all seated together at the front of the carriage, trading tips on weaving, sewing, and how to properly fold a skirt so you could hide knives and needles in it. I could see several of the bees on the railing beside them, clearly listening in with interest.

And that was everyone.

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The Lord Magistrate, Lady Wu, and Xue Ji had all stayed behind in Grass Sea City—both to spend more time with their son, and to help him out fully transitioning into his permanent rulership of the city. I had had a great time with Teacher and Lady Wu, and I was glad they had come with us this far.

The Azure Heroes, minus Xianghua, had also decided to stay behind a bit longer before they had to go back to the Dueling Peaks. Zhuye had woken up this morning for just long enough to cuddle with Tigu, Yin, and Xiulan, before we set off through Underbridge. That part of the city was once notorious for how run down and dangerous it was—but when we went through it, there wasn’t a single incident. Sure, it was a bit scuffed in places, but people were sweeping the street and there were obvious signs that it was getting repaired.

And Gramps? The old man had just waved us away, saying he wanted to see more of the city.

So that left us, going into the Grass Sea once more, and towards our next destination on our journey across the Azure Hills: the Grand Ravine.

Big D and Rizzo were joining us because it was on the way back up to Ash Forest where they would reunite with Vajra, and the Xong Brothers were curious about the people who had been calling them “cousin” all this time.

‘I wonder how much itʼs changed,’ Tianlan mused, her voice echoing in the back of my mind. The Earth Spirit sounded wistful. She had, before the breaking, been very good friends with the people who lived there. ‘I canʼt really feel it all too well, but from what everyone has described, it doesn’t seem to have been too badly damaged.’

Which was true. Unlike the other places Tianlan had been disconnected completely from, which normally were nearly Qi-less wastelands, the Grand Ravine was said to have very high Qi concentrations… for the Azure Hills.

We had spent some time talking to people from the Ravine as well, and they described a near paradise of lush vegetation, pure water, and beautiful blue skies.

When they put it like that, it did sound wonderful. I was looking forward to the view the most. The Grand Ravine dominated the western edge of the province on every map. It was where the Grass Sea ended, and beyond it the Badlands began.

I had seen the north, the east, and the south of the Azure Hills. Now I would be seeing the west.

In the beginning, it had felt really strange, all this travelling. It had honestly felt kind of wrong; traveling around and attending feasts instead of being back home and working the land, but as the days went by… I found I didn’t really mind it. Meeting new people, eating different kinds of food, and above all else, learning more about Tianlan and helping to soothe some of the pains my friend was feeling… I found myself enjoying things.

My heart still yearned for home, but the pangs were quiet. I was surrounded by family and friends, and I found myself happy, wondering what each new horizon would bring.

Things changed, and eventually, they would find a new equilibrium.

And so we travelled west. A family road trip, albeit missing a good portion of the crew. It was really fun. We did all the family road trip things: taking pictures beside landmarks, playing games, singing songs… it was the best of times. But unlike with the calm Lord Magistrate and his wife, things got a bit… chaotic.

===

“Okay, say cheese!” Yun Ren said with a smile. “Come one guys, the lighting is right this time. And smile!”

He took the recording of us all standing in front of a tree that looked like a lady’s backside. It had been funny for the first few recordings. Now—

“Okay now move a bit to the left—”

“Honoured Elder Brother, you said to come to you with any issues. I have an issue. If you insist on one more recording, I will stab you,” Xianghua said, her normal boisterous smile reduced to something blank.

“And I’ll hold down your arms,” Meimei threatened.

Yun Ren pouted and made a scene. Later, Bane of the Black Lances came to me with a report, detailing how she saw the rat bastard marking down how many poses it took before we snapped at him and giggling with Biyu about it.

The record was twelve.

Honestly, I didn’t think Biyu had it in her to prank us like this.

Which was actually kind of funny, but not funny enough for me to not snitch on their asses.

Biyu was, for the first time, on the receiving end of Meiling’s wrath… and enjoyed the reaping much less than the sowing.

====

“Alright, everybody ready to go—whereʼs Bi De and Ri Zu?” Meimei asked, before sniffing the air and glancing off in a direction. “Why did they go that far? Wa Shi, would you tell them we’re leaving, please?”

The dragon stared blankly at her. Meimei sighed and pulled out some candy.

“Of course, Big Sis,” the dragon replied, taking his bribe and setting off while Meimei kept packing.

He came back five minutes later with an odd flush to his scales.

“They’re gonna be a bit,” he said after a moment.

“What, why—”

“They’re gonna be a bit,” he repeated, turning back into a fish and swimming to the bottom of his jar. “I did not need to see that—”

Meimei blinked. “Ooooooh,” she said, realizing what Washy was getting at. Wicked amusement spread across her features.

And so we waited. Big D and Rizzo came back not too long later in human form, their cheeks crimson.

“So, have a good time admiring the view?” Meimei asked, her arms crossed.

“Yes!” Rizzo squeaked. “We just lost track of time!”

Nobody believed them.

===

“It has to be an artifact from before the cataclysm. Look at the contours!” Yun Ren declared in a mocking voice. “We just spent an hour excavating an ancient latrine!”

“Shut up! Itʼs an easy mistake to make!” Gou Ren defended himself.

===

The rain poured down on my head.

I hated getting wet like this. Always have, always will.

And I doubly hated it because a certain earth spirit was laughing her ass off in the back of my head.

“Can I have some more?” Washy asked from his place beside me.

I tilted the jar of fermented fish towards him. It was a local village’s specialty, and it had a rather pungent odor.

Which I hadn’t thought about before I opened it in the carriage.

My banishment was sudden and unanimous, and I got whombo-combo’d out the door and out of the overhang we had stopped under by the entire crew. Even Zhuye and Suyan had been upset, my son and maid glaring daggers at me.

Washy plucked another piece of fish out of the jar, put it in his mouth, and with the concentration of a master sommelier, he chewed it, taking in every flavour.

“This is very mediocre fermented fish,” he observed.

It really was.

===

That was our road trip towards the Grand Ravine. We loved it.

We hated it.

We started planning the next one.